The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Steve on February 03, 2019, 03:20:46 PM

Title: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 03, 2019, 03:20:46 PM
An early entry

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-47107609 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-47107609)

'A World War One-era German hand grenade has been found among a delivery of potatoes shipped from France to a crisp factory in Hong Kong, police say . . .
 . . .
The bombe de terre was safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.'


:facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 19, 2020, 01:23:36 PM
(https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83171325_827252167792852_8439368990110777344_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_oc=AQlwMG9zxWIxuTJ4nXZgUEsAbtCLzKtP8ZPDi2LXgJ5KlyzIXLSZlVqDrmMh3PzTHOI&_nc_ht=scontent-cdg2-1.xx&oh=5eef2034fbc9fe43989013e2ed81df31&oe=5ECE4EF1)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2020, 01:30:18 PM
(https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83171325_827252167792852_8439368990110777344_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_oc=AQlwMG9zxWIxuTJ4nXZgUEsAbtCLzKtP8ZPDi2LXgJ5KlyzIXLSZlVqDrmMh3PzTHOI&_nc_ht=scontent-cdg2-1.xx&oh=5eef2034fbc9fe43989013e2ed81df31&oe=5ECE4EF1)

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 29, 2020, 06:00:01 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2020, 06:00:45 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2020, 07:07:01 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2020, 02:24:09 PM
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/83535457_1526111290870502_8151836193957347328_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQnzISYfQWUyu4HW8ufG91ZWydeirUjwLGe9rlgK7m_iXQy9qA2S-Hrz77lSdJK_-1g&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=558f4884f9d575ad32cf64d5e9f40a1a&oe=5E9530DF)

get coat time

 ;D Thumbs: redface:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2020, 07:03:04 PM
AN udder wrong spelling of "immediately"  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on January 30, 2020, 10:08:16 PM
AN udder wrong spelling of "immediately"  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 10, 2020, 07:26:43 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 10, 2020, 07:30:10 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: redface:

True story: My nephew had a relationship with one... He said the sex was fantastic but in the end he couldn't cope with the thought of her fucking other blokes all day...  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 10, 2020, 07:35:47 PM
Why is it you never come across porn stars in real life .......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: redface:

True story: My nephew had a relationship with one... He said the sex was fantastic but in the end he couldn't cope with the thought of her fucking other blokes all day...  noooo:

Was gonna say .."Must be hard" ...but .... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 10, 2020, 07:39:08 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 14, 2020, 04:19:30 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 14, 2020, 04:20:25 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 14, 2020, 07:19:03 PM
If I had to describe myself in three words,...........




I would say "Not very good at maths".............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2020, 10:48:28 PM
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?..................... rubschin:





I don’t know and I don’t care................ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 19, 2020, 11:26:28 PM
Errr not a pun and an Affs   noooo:

https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8111.msg651572#msg651572
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 20, 2020, 06:39:09 AM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 20, 2020, 07:34:22 PM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 20, 2020, 09:47:48 PM
I always think this is going to be about strawberries....  redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 24, 2020, 10:25:43 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2020, 08:52:58 AM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on February 25, 2020, 09:27:43 AM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 25, 2020, 09:28:12 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 25, 2020, 11:26:21 PM
How they make Mufflers baffles me......... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:

drumroll:drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on February 27, 2020, 12:12:33 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2020, 12:35:48 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on February 27, 2020, 05:14:00 AM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 27, 2020, 08:20:08 PM
A Termite walks into a bar ....

"Is the Bar tender here "..???


 redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 11:04:43 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2020, 11:21:49 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 11:41:07 AM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 12, 2020, 05:09:23 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2020, 06:07:27 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
OK then best end this French style

Fin
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2020, 06:11:37 PM
IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN;

LET MINNOW.

facepalm:
angel1  not feeling eel after that are we

Don't start carping on Steve  noooo:
OK then best end this French style

Fin

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 20, 2020, 01:13:49 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2020, 01:20:12 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 20, 2020, 08:01:04 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 22, 2020, 05:44:51 PM
I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.
There so stupid.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2020, 10:53:14 PM
Jokes about sugar are rare...........

Jokes about brown sugar...............


Demerara................... Thumbs:



Beat that .....
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 23, 2020, 10:54:59 PM
Jokes about sugar are rare...........

Jokes about brown sugar...............


Demerara................... Thumbs:



Beat that .....
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 23, 2020, 11:00:06 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2020, 11:04:05 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 23, 2020, 11:24:25 PM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2020, 06:54:22 AM
The most gullible chemical element is easily lead.

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:25:20 AM
Meatloaf was so named because of his incredible likeness to his father, Meatlo.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:39:22 AM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2020, 10:51:20 AM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 24, 2020, 07:59:31 PM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 08:04:33 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 24, 2020, 08:05:22 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 08:49:39 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 24, 2020, 09:01:48 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 09:14:15 PM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 24, 2020, 09:40:56 PM
 tunble:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 24, 2020, 09:41:42 PM
(In a French restaurant)

"Excuse me, can we see the menu please?"

"Mais oui"

"Oh, sorry. May we see the menu please"

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 24, 2020, 10:07:34 PM
tunble:

Disappointed in you  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 06:38:43 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 25, 2020, 08:58:45 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Your levity is wel restrained.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 09:03:15 AM
Was the Meatloaf one too subtle?

Yes  redface:

C'mon...Apey, care to explain it?

 rubschin:

Meatlo as fuck... = Meatloaf.

Perhaps only we younger ones got it...

 whistle:

oh...
Your levity is wel restrained.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 25, 2020, 05:49:02 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 25, 2020, 06:56:04 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 25, 2020, 11:05:37 PM
R.I.P boiled water.

You will be mist.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2020, 02:05:02 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 26, 2020, 02:44:13 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 26, 2020, 02:55:10 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2020, 03:22:27 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 26, 2020, 06:11:21 PM
What do you call a really shit Magician .................. rubschin:




Ian.............. Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:

drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 27, 2020, 02:09:35 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 27, 2020, 02:11:26 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 27, 2020, 02:15:15 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 27, 2020, 06:07:37 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 27, 2020, 06:34:57 PM
(credit/blame a radio 2 listener the other day)

I spent the afternoon sorting out my cupboard and fridge.  Every tin, jar, bottle and packet is now at least 20cm from each other.  Yes I'm practicing shelf isolation

 lol: lol: lol:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2020, 01:00:54 PM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says “travelling light?”
He says “Yes, I am.”
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2020, 02:09:10 PM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says “travelling light?”
He says “Yes, I am.”

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on March 28, 2020, 06:07:50 PM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2020, 07:00:12 PM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2020, 07:50:47 AM
I got the sack from my job as a air traffic controller because my manager said I had a bad altitude problem.......... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 29, 2020, 08:33:44 AM
A photon turns up at check in for a flight with no baggage.
The check in agent says “travelling light?”
He says “Yes, I am.”

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 29, 2020, 12:02:08 PM
If you think these science jokes are all too old, I’ll take them out and Barium….
but once they’re gone they Argon…
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2020, 12:12:29 PM
If you think these science jokes are all too old, I’ll take them out and Barium….
but once they’re gone they Argon…

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2020, 05:41:23 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2020, 05:47:52 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on March 30, 2020, 07:17:53 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2020, 10:39:06 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on March 30, 2020, 10:57:11 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP/herbs.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/QFHFd6HP)

facepalm:

 lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 01, 2020, 11:00:24 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2020, 11:27:30 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 01, 2020, 06:37:53 PM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 02, 2020, 08:43:29 AM
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?

 lol: lol: lol:  rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 19, 2020, 01:12:13 PM
 I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 19, 2020, 01:22:08 PM
I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 19, 2020, 03:44:13 PM
I've run out of toilet paper and started to use old newspapers instead.

The Times are rough.

 lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 19, 2020, 04:26:00 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 19, 2020, 05:12:12 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on April 19, 2020, 05:37:55 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 19, 2020, 10:15:57 PM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 20, 2020, 06:09:46 AM
Just got back from my local Tesco.
I saw a bloke buying four crates of San Miguel, five Paellas, and three sombreros.
I thought to myself,
Hispanic buying.

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 26, 2020, 08:43:10 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 27, 2020, 12:03:31 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on April 27, 2020, 07:27:41 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 27, 2020, 09:34:41 PM
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on April 30, 2020, 11:35:11 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on April 30, 2020, 01:02:09 PM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 01, 2020, 06:13:07 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 01, 2020, 11:43:11 AM
Took my dog for a walk through the cemetery yesterday.
A bloke was coming the other way with his dog.
He said "morning. "
I said "no I'm just walking my dog."

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 05, 2020, 04:07:04 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 05, 2020, 06:47:40 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 05, 2020, 06:54:36 PM
What do we want?..........

Race car noises................!!!

When do we want them.........................?

Neeeooowwwww............................. redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 11, 2020, 10:16:32 PM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 11, 2020, 10:51:07 PM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2020, 03:54:04 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 12, 2020, 06:22:09 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 12, 2020, 11:37:31 AM
I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.......

We took the A4....


 noooo: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 13, 2020, 11:36:55 AM
I’m so glad Garden centres are open,
 I’ve been living on borrowed Thyme
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2020, 11:42:20 AM
I’m so glad Garden centres are open,
 I’ve been living on borrowed Thyme

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 13, 2020, 05:16:33 PM
I’m so glad Garden centres are open,
 I’ve been living on borrowed Thyme

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 14, 2020, 11:20:34 AM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2020, 11:57:56 AM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 14, 2020, 01:52:59 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 14, 2020, 01:57:41 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 14, 2020, 07:58:11 PM
Went for a walk this morning and saw this RAC patrol man crying his eyes out in his van.

Thought to myself he's heading for a breakdown.

 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:  lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 22, 2020, 06:02:05 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)


Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2020, 06:33:33 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 22, 2020, 07:47:56 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 22, 2020, 07:58:06 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 22, 2020, 09:17:40 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 22, 2020, 09:41:07 PM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

Best thing I've seen for a long tme  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2020, 06:06:37 AM

(https://i.postimg.cc/FdtD224d/Far-Side.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/FdtD224d)

 ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

Best thing I've seen for a long tme  :thumbsup:

 sad24:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 25, 2020, 03:28:25 PM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 26, 2020, 08:51:13 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 09:17:06 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 10:38:10 AM
I have a problem, I’m addicted to seaweed.


I’m seeking kelp
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 26, 2020, 10:48:19 AM
I have a problem, I’m addicted to seaweed.


I’m seeking kelp

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 26, 2020, 11:36:54 AM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
It was easier in the original version.
"Where do you go to weigh a pie"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 26, 2020, 05:50:50 PM
Where do you weigh pies.................???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Somewhere over the rainbow....................... redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

and  redface: just wasn't getting that one so asked Mrs K who took about 5 seconds
It was easier in the original version.
"Where do you go to weigh a pie"
  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 27, 2020, 05:46:04 PM
 I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 27, 2020, 05:59:50 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 27, 2020, 06:12:34 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:

That was Roy ...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Nick on May 27, 2020, 07:10:00 PM
Tap dancing while playing the trumpet!! We need more people like that  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 27, 2020, 10:21:08 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:
He has had a rough time since Barbara died.  noooo:

That was Roy ...... rubschin:
They all look the same to me.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 27, 2020, 10:26:07 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:

Funny you should mention that...

https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/27/man-called-bernard-castle-has-fun-twitter-12765358/

Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 27, 2020, 10:44:04 PM
I feel really sorry for Bernard Castle. He’s done nothing wrong but everyone is going on about him.......... noooo:

Funny you should mention that...

https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/27/man-called-bernard-castle-has-fun-twitter-12765358/


lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 27, 2020, 10:54:35 PM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 27, 2020, 11:16:57 PM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2020, 05:04:39 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 28, 2020, 08:22:11 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 28, 2020, 08:40:44 AM
If anyone's free there's a lockdown innuendo competition taking place tomorrow night.

I've entered myself twice.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 28, 2020, 11:55:30 AM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 28, 2020, 12:26:51 PM
Ironman is a Fe male ............. rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 28, 2020, 12:34:10 PM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 28, 2020, 12:41:53 PM
Ironman is a Fe male ............. rubschin:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on May 28, 2020, 08:43:21 PM
I've bought a face mask for my pet duck.
It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill

 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on May 29, 2020, 12:41:56 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:




Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on May 29, 2020, 12:56:32 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

Can it write 'upside down'...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on May 29, 2020, 04:36:59 PM
I bought a pen that writes underwater ........ Thumbs:



It writes other words too ......... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:

Can it write 'upside down'...?  rubschin:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 01, 2020, 08:43:56 AM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 01, 2020, 08:44:38 AM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 01, 2020, 08:45:43 PM
(got to be an Affs but sod it)


A lorry carrying 10 Ton of Vicks vapour rub has overturned.
Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 12 hours !

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 04, 2020, 04:44:09 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2020, 04:49:22 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:

happy001
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 04, 2020, 05:29:57 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 04, 2020, 07:36:05 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 05, 2020, 02:04:58 PM
I was at the hardware store and asked the man "What gets rid of grime and stains?"

He said "Ammonia cleaner."..........






I replied "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here."........... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2020, 07:48:30 PM
My mate’s wife has threatened to leave him because of his obsession with collecting World War 1 artillery...........





“I can’t see Howitzer problem,” he said.......... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 05, 2020, 08:07:14 PM
My mate’s wife has threatened to leave him because of his obsession with collecting World War 1 artillery...........





“I can’t see Howitzer problem,” he said.......... redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2020, 11:33:41 PM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2020, 04:03:30 AM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 06, 2020, 06:45:39 AM
Admin note..

To the person that submitted the "how do you keep an idiot in suspense" joke...
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 06, 2020, 05:22:31 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2020, 05:57:03 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 06, 2020, 06:13:38 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 06, 2020, 06:29:48 PM
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank............

The rabbit says "I think I might be a type O".......... Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2020, 12:05:27 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2020, 05:39:12 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 06:22:40 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 07, 2020, 07:45:09 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2020, 11:00:43 AM
I have 24 separate loyalty cards, which seems wrong.//

 ;D

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
  lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2020, 11:01:16 AM
I always call them disloyalty cards.  Mrs K has tons of the bloody things
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2020, 09:08:49 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 07, 2020, 10:10:10 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 10:13:01 PM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2020, 10:14:49 PM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: (It took me a while)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 04:51:11 AM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 04:51:38 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 08:22:24 AM
How many ants does it take to fill an apartment............. rubschin:

Ten ............ Thumbs:.
drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 08:22:48 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 08, 2020, 08:24:53 AM
If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly I have plenty of back issues
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 01:30:21 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2020, 01:34:02 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 01:49:09 PM
Why all the fuss over black olives ...... rubschin:  surely all olives matter ... noooo:

facepalm:
doublefacepalm
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 08, 2020, 03:24:14 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 04:37:14 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.

 ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 08, 2020, 09:05:09 PM
My ears were playing up so I phoned the tinnitus hotline.

It just kept ringing.

 ;D Thumbs:

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 09:39:53 PM
A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath........... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2020, 10:29:01 PM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasn’t suede............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2020, 04:02:29 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 09, 2020, 06:18:14 AM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasn’t suede............ redface:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 09:11:32 AM
My wife tried to talk me into wearing a napped leather shoes instead of my usual smooth ones but I wasn’t suede............ redface:

 lol: lol:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 09, 2020, 05:26:25 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 09, 2020, 06:10:57 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 07:17:53 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 09, 2020, 07:20:17 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 09, 2020, 08:07:11 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 10, 2020, 04:06:04 AM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 10, 2020, 11:53:25 AM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
  lol:

Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 10, 2020, 05:16:17 PM
My Wife left me because of my obsession with amateur radio..........



We just weren’t on the same wavelength........ whistle:

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Wonder if she gave a short wave goodbye ......... rubschin:

Everybody hertz...  sad24:
  lol:

 lol: Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 10, 2020, 10:09:39 PM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 10, 2020, 11:08:56 PM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2020, 04:17:40 AM
Battery chargers are revolting ............ noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 14, 2020, 06:08:19 PM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 14, 2020, 06:59:07 PM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 15, 2020, 05:44:22 AM
I got drunk and ended up at a auction once...

I don't remember a lot........ redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 15, 2020, 10:55:52 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 16, 2020, 07:08:47 AM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 16, 2020, 04:47:37 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 16, 2020, 10:06:33 PM
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether....... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 17, 2020, 06:48:03 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 17, 2020, 07:44:22 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 17, 2020, 07:58:19 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2020, 04:45:40 AM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2020, 09:01:59 AM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2020, 04:14:00 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 18, 2020, 04:19:03 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:
;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2020, 04:44:34 PM
My mate is addicted to buying Beatles records ................

I told him he needed Help ........ noooo:
lol:

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

BTW that was Yesterday ...... whistle:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2020, 09:02:49 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 18, 2020, 09:11:35 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 18, 2020, 09:40:36 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 19, 2020, 03:59:37 AM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 19, 2020, 08:58:58 PM
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas.......... Thumbs:

There are only two of us on the production line...







So I have to make every second Count............ redface:
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 21, 2020, 12:49:37 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2020, 03:45:36 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 10:03:49 AM
I bought 4 kindles from Amazon..............




and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.......... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 21, 2020, 07:52:53 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 21, 2020, 08:48:53 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 08:59:02 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 21, 2020, 08:59:23 PM
took me a minute (or three)  redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 21, 2020, 09:36:19 PM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2020, 03:42:26 AM
Told my doctor I had a problem with my left ear ..

"are you sure ? "......



Yes I am definite "............ Thumbs:
drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 22, 2020, 06:41:37 AM
Don’t get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2020, 06:57:15 AM
Don’t get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 22, 2020, 08:15:48 AM
Don’t get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 22, 2020, 02:47:34 PM
Don’t get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2020, 05:22:30 PM
Don’t get me started on people stealing clothes off washing lines. Been there done it and got the T-shirt.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

 ;D ;D ;D Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2020, 07:35:12 PM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 22, 2020, 08:21:01 PM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2020, 04:10:19 AM
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize........... Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 24, 2020, 06:27:51 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2020, 06:36:07 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 09:48:10 AM
A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar..........

The barman says, "I'm serving Narnia!".......... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on June 24, 2020, 10:57:10 AM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 11:09:51 AM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2020, 12:45:03 PM
Dad, are we pyromaniacs...... rubschin:


Yes, we arson............. redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 24, 2020, 06:50:16 PM
Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never wore aftershave?

That's right, Yul never wore cologne
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2020, 05:35:15 AM
Did you know the actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong Liverpool fan,and never wore aftershave?

That's right, Yul never wore cologne

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 26, 2020, 11:44:57 AM
I was in the library the other day and came across a book on altering trousers........


 Now there’s a book for the turnups...........
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2020, 12:11:09 PM
I was in the library the other day and came across a book on altering trousers........


 Now there’s a book for the turnups...........

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 26, 2020, 09:58:43 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 26, 2020, 10:31:20 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2020, 05:17:09 AM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 27, 2020, 02:58:57 PM
I want to ask my English teacher to marry me when she gets released from prison......




Apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition though........... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 08:07:27 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2020, 08:20:16 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 08:25:32 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Coz it's deuce ....... rubschin: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2020, 08:28:59 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Coz it's deuce ....... rubschin: redface:

facepalm: Go to the beach....  noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 28, 2020, 09:43:17 AM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Or you could answer like they did on other pub ... noooo:  @coz squash aint popular @.............. noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2020, 12:03:41 PM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2020, 12:04:13 PM
Why do ROBINSONS sponsor tennis and not squash............... rubschin:

 drumroll:

Or you could answer like they did on other pub ... noooo:  @coz squash aint popular @.............. noooo:

 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on June 30, 2020, 02:47:58 PM
I swallowed a camera this morning.
I am now suffering flashbacks.
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 01, 2020, 11:27:43 AM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NME’s?................. redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2020, 11:30:05 AM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NME’s?................. redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 01, 2020, 12:13:05 PM
A mate of mine gave me 500 back issues of Smash Hits.......... Thumbs:


With friends like that, who needs NME’s?................. redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 01, 2020, 02:00:32 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2020, 02:15:26 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 01, 2020, 03:42:38 PM
This is .... redface:

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick...........................?

You may be entitled to an Ian Dury claim................ redface: redface: redface:

facepalm:
doublefacepalm
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 03, 2020, 02:59:36 PM
How do you get a country girl’s attention?.......... rubschin:

A tractor............ redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2020, 03:14:35 PM
How do you get a country girl’s attention?.......... rubschin:

A tractor............ redface:

facepalm:

Did Mr. Darwin Sir tell you that one...? ::)
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 03, 2020, 06:24:43 PM
I didn’t keep up the payments on my herb garden..........

So they sent in the Bayleafs............. redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2020, 04:15:55 AM
I didn’t keep up the payments on my herb garden..........

So they sent in the Bayleafs............. redface: redface:

facepalm:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 07, 2020, 05:42:12 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 07, 2020, 05:52:41 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 07, 2020, 07:01:02 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 08, 2020, 05:26:35 AM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 08, 2020, 12:08:01 PM
A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine.

He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 08, 2020, 02:28:15 PM
Anagrams are vile and evil.......... evil:
lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 10, 2020, 05:22:26 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 10, 2020, 11:57:42 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 11, 2020, 07:54:26 PM
I bought a rocket salad,.........



But it went off before I could eat it................ evil:


 redface: redface:
lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 11, 2020, 08:32:55 PM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 11, 2020, 10:19:10 PM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 12, 2020, 05:39:16 AM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 13, 2020, 07:16:52 AM
Are Nuns ..birds of pray......... rubschin:
;D
lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: apc2010 on July 13, 2020, 10:38:36 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Steve on July 13, 2020, 10:49:32 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Barman on July 14, 2020, 04:21:22 AM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Just One More on July 14, 2020, 06:30:32 AM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Pun of the day?
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 14, 2020, 04:06:13 PM
A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work yesterday.........

He fell into an industrial grinder...

He's fine now.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: