The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: apc2010 on May 14, 2014, 10:12:33 AM

Title: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 14, 2014, 10:12:33 AM
Yesterday realised Thursday was going be really busy .......so e-mailed the main company (international household name) saying I think you have more bookings for us ......no reply this morning .......now the boss phones saying we have an extra booking for you .can you do more than 2 a day ...........I said well I hope so coz next week you have booked me for 4 in one day..... Banghead  oh that's good to know ........I have worked for them for 6 years..... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 14, 2014, 01:09:52 PM
Another phone call from the office (they rarely call all e-mails ) there seems to be some confusion about this Friday .......me ..no the problem is with Thurs .....long pause ...oh wait .....then please ignore this call, I will e-mail you.....me .that's no good going to work now ...(they know the hours I work ::) ).....if we (YOU) have a problem I need to know today....... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: boogs on May 14, 2014, 04:53:55 PM
 happy100
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 15, 2014, 09:59:59 AM
Spoke to rep for 2 of the weddings ........she stropply asked me how I can do 2 weddings I explain politely that I provide entertainment for more 1 event.........what I wanted to say was ....YOU are fecking responsible for the couple's whole wedding day including flowers.cake.paperwork.food etc ..how the fvck can YOU do 2 in a day... cussing: cussing:

Rant over..... cloud9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2014, 01:05:44 PM
I spent all fecking day doing a (rather clever if I say so myself) modification to a website yesterday...

...just got back in and no feedback about it, not one bit the bastards!  cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2014, 01:35:55 PM
I spent all fecking day doing a (rather clever if I say so myself) modification to a website yesterday...

...just got back in and no feedback about it, not one bit the bastards!  cussing:

I assume people can actually get onto the website to give feedback since your modification?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2014, 01:37:34 PM
I spent all fecking day doing a (rather clever if I say so myself) modification to a website yesterday...

...just got back in and no feedback about it, not one bit the bastards!  cussing:

I assume people can actually get onto the website to give feedback since your modification?  rubschin:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on May 15, 2014, 04:33:26 PM
I spent all fecking day doing a (rather clever if I say so myself) modification to a website yesterday...

...just got back in and no feedback about it, not one bit the bastards!  cussing:

I assume people can actually get onto the website to give feedback since your modification?  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2014, 05:42:57 PM
I spent all fecking day doing a (rather clever if I say so myself) modification to a website yesterday...

...just got back in and no feedback about it, not one bit the bastards!  cussing:

I assume people can actually get onto the website to give feedback since your modification?  rubschin:

 eeek:

I could hear the DOH!!!! back in Cornwall  lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 16, 2014, 11:40:45 AM
So it continues......rep calls this morning too early ..ignore the calls ..phone back ...she says you have a wedding tonight ...I know ..you will be in xyz room....I know my equipment is there coz I worked there last night for you.  ::)....Oh ok then....I ask what time are they eating coz they will be outside (won't hear music)......oh no they are inside all night.....please check...

call back half hour later ...oh you were right they are eating outside... Banghead

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 16, 2014, 03:04:13 PM
A different company this time ......I was working direct for a hotel on Weds ..they say to me x company has a wedding Monday with entertainment ...so I e-mail them ..reply no we haven't ....


e-mail comes in today ...wedding on Monday at said hotel... Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 18, 2014, 06:52:30 PM
All the companies I work for seem to thjnk I only work for them ......can you met the bride on Thursday evening .......NO..why ...I am working ...well that's not very good ......



If anyone this stage of the season  who can spend an evening smoozing a bride n groom is crap ......

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 06:55:14 PM
Meet her for a shag?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 18, 2014, 06:58:49 PM
Meet her for a shag?  rubschin:

Well they said to discuss her requirements.... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on May 18, 2014, 07:01:19 PM
Meet her for a shag?  rubschin:

Well they said to discuss her requirements.... rubschin:

For her hen night.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 07:02:45 PM
There could be munny in this  rubschin: rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on May 18, 2014, 07:19:48 PM
There could be munny in this  rubschin: rubschin:

I could help out most days of the week.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 20, 2014, 11:03:20 AM
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.......... Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 20, 2014, 02:09:06 PM
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.......... Banghead Banghead
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on May 20, 2014, 03:04:06 PM
Popcorn: Popcorn:


______________________________
Your local friendly tapatalking heretic
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 20, 2014, 03:11:18 PM
Too long a rant for now...off to work soon ..  we explain later...... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2014, 08:18:52 AM
Just been on the phone to a Luddite who IS AS THICK AS PIG SHIT!   Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 23, 2014, 08:26:32 AM
Just been on the phone to a Luddite who IS AS THICK AS PIG SHIT!   Banghead Banghead Banghead

Can beat that 1 company today just called n said from now on it has to be Miss T or myself at their gigs.....difficult I pointed out as YOU have booked me for 3 in 1 day next week.... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2014, 08:32:28 AM
Just been on the phone to a Luddite who IS AS THICK AS PIG SHIT!   Banghead Banghead Banghead

Can beat that 1 company today just called n said from now on it has to be Miss T or myself at their gigs.....difficult I pointed out as YOU have booked me for 3 in 1 day next week.... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 31, 2014, 12:40:31 PM
Easy conversation yesterday......."you keep sending me shit entertainers".......

You cut my wages by a third........simples..... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2014, 09:15:49 PM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 05, 2014, 09:22:20 PM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
How the fuck does that happen?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2014, 09:27:15 PM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
How the fuck does that happen?

Coz I only get dates and venues in advance ...names and details come later or on the day.....checked today for tomorrow and the names were the same as Tuesday......I phoned them and they said oops..it was originally for Friday but changed to Tuesday..did we forget to tell you ..... Banghead   well yes and no ...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 05, 2014, 09:32:10 PM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
How the fuck does that happen?

Coz I only get dates and venues in advance ...names and details come later or on the day.....checked today for tomorrow and the names were the same as Tuesday......I phoned them and they said oops..it was originally for Friday but changed to Tuesday..did we forget to tell you ..... Banghead   well yes and no ...
And I'm guessing right now it's a buyer's market
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 05, 2014, 09:35:53 PM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
How the fuck does that happen?

Coz I only get dates and venues in advance ...names and details come later or on the day.....checked today for tomorrow and the names were the same as Tuesday......I phoned them and they said oops..it was originally for Friday but changed to Tuesday..did we forget to tell you ..... Banghead   well yes and no ...
And I'm guessing right now it's a buyer's market

Yep......but it's coming back to bite them all in the arse the cheapos are getting complaints....I actually got a pay rise from one 5 star hotel this week to retain my services....and another 5 star hotel contract (not a lot of work but good on the CV )
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2014, 04:06:38 AM
I am booked for a wedding tomorrow that I did on Tuesday........... cussing:  I have now booked people ......I will now lose money as I will not cancel people at short notice.....
How the fuck does that happen?

Coz I only get dates and venues in advance ...names and details come later or on the day.....checked today for tomorrow and the names were the same as Tuesday......I phoned them and they said oops..it was originally for Friday but changed to Tuesday..did we forget to tell you ..... Banghead   well yes and no ...
And I'm guessing right now it's a buyer's market

Yep......but it's coming back to bite them all in the arse the cheapos are getting complaints....I actually got a pay rise from one 5 star hotel this week to retain my services....and another 5 star hotel contract (not a lot of work but good on the CV )

I didn't know you had a French car....  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 06, 2014, 05:13:51 AM
Voiture du clown?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2014, 05:15:40 AM
Voiture du clown?


 Thumbs:

http://pbfcomics.com/258/ (http://pbfcomics.com/258/)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 10:37:57 AM
New heights yesterday ......the hotel booked 2 DJs for 1 party ...the problem was that the other guy who turned up worked (past tense) for me .......he spat his dummy out .... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2014, 10:43:29 AM
New heights yesterday ......the hotel booked 2 DJs for 1 party ...the problem was that the other guy who turned up worked (past tense) for me .......he spat his dummy out .... noooo:
Apey shows the red card?

Did the hotel pay both of you?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 10:47:44 AM
New heights yesterday ......the hotel booked 2 DJs for 1 party ...the problem was that the other guy who turned up worked (past tense) for me .......he spat his dummy out .... noooo:
Apey shows the red card?

Did the hotel pay both of you?

I offered from my own pocket to compensate him .....but by then he had already had his dummy out ........ noooo:  he will get fvck n all from the hotel.....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2014, 10:49:50 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 10:55:06 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!

Don't laugh ..the wedding planners have told me to write one .....but nobody would believe half the stories .......(including finding the groom and the best man together  eeek: ).....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2014, 10:59:40 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!

Don't laugh ..the wedding planners have told me to write one .....but nobody would believe half the stories .......(including finding the groom and the best man together  eeek: ).....
lol:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2014, 11:22:03 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!

Don't laugh ..the wedding planners have told me to write one .....but nobody would believe half the stories .......(including finding the groom and the best man together  eeek: ).....

 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 11:23:41 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!

Don't laugh ..the wedding planners have told me to write one .....but nobody would believe half the stories .......(including finding the groom and the best man together  eeek: ).....

 eeek: eeek:


I told you that story........ ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2014, 11:24:31 AM
There's a cracking book in those there stories Apey.  Think of the film rights, Munny!

Don't laugh ..the wedding planners have told me to write one .....but nobody would believe half the stories .......(including finding the groom and the best man together  eeek: ).....

 eeek: eeek:


I told you that story........ ::)

I forgot....  redface:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2014, 11:30:20 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 11:33:08 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!

And Apey will be sacked from all his companies ......... noooo:  that is why I am careful what I put on here .........
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2014, 11:36:27 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!

 cloud9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 07, 2014, 11:37:35 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!

 cloud9:


More popcorn seasoning......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 07, 2014, 11:39:35 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!

And Apey will be sacked from all his companies ......... noooo:  that is why I am careful what I put on here .........
Wise  :thumbsup:



Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2014, 11:39:44 AM
If Apey writes the book and then gets the film and DVD rights and it's all sold through Amazon then the VP will be rich!

 cloud9:


More popcorn seasoning......... Thumbs:

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 12, 2014, 12:22:54 PM
I do a lot of ork for a 5 star hotel so get access to all their information ....knew a company had a wedding there tomorrow for which they had not booked me ...called them on Monday to ask ...they said no weddings on weds........get a panic phone call now ...you are working tomorrow.... Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 12, 2014, 12:23:45 PM
I do a lot of ork for a 5 star hotel so get access to all their information ....knew a company had a wedding there tomorrow for which they had not booked me ...called them on Monday to ask ...they said no weddings on weds........get a panic phone call now ...you are working tomorrow.... Banghead

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 12, 2014, 12:38:03 PM
I do a lot of ork for a 5 star hotel so get access to all their information ....knew a company had a wedding there tomorrow for which they had not booked me ...called them on Monday to ask ...they said no weddings on weds........get a panic phone call now ...you are working tomorrow.... Banghead

 noooo:

It gets better ,he is Arab ,she is Polish..so guess they want different music.... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 12, 2014, 12:41:35 PM
I do a lot of ork for a 5 star hotel so get access to all their information ....knew a company had a wedding there tomorrow for which they had not booked me ...called them on Monday to ask ...they said no weddings on weds........get a panic phone call now ...you are working tomorrow.... Banghead

 noooo:

It gets better ,he is Arab ,she is Polish..so guess they want different music.... noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 14, 2014, 12:50:46 PM
It gets better.....at said wedding asked for the details for today (fri) ....he says we don't have one....... Banghead   I show him the diary with venue and names etc ...oh they cancelled ....if I hadn't asked I would have gone ......... cussing:  so today call to confirm next weeks bookings......oh one of them cancelled too........ cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2014, 12:47:11 PM
Get a call NOW...can I supply a DJ for tonight ........ Banghead.......
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 25, 2014, 12:48:56 PM
Is he the same size as you ?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2014, 12:50:58 PM
Is he the same size as you ?

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
Is he the same size as you ?

 drumroll:

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2014, 01:09:56 PM
Get a call NOW...can I supply a DJ for tonight ........ Banghead.......

Found one ...but he wants wot I get paid.......no commision.... evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 25, 2014, 01:11:06 PM
Is he the same size as you ?

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:  lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 25, 2014, 01:12:51 PM
Get a call NOW...can I supply a DJ for tonight ........ Banghead.......

Found one ...but he wants wot I get paid.......no commision.... evil:
So why would you line up the DJ with the hotel then?  Or are you a charity?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2014, 01:14:37 PM
Typical of Miss D. Pops in, causes trouble and then buggers off  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2014, 01:16:01 PM
Get a call NOW...can I supply a DJ for tonight ........ Banghead.......

Found one ...but he wants wot I get paid.......no commision.... evil:
So why would you line up the DJ with the hotel then?  Or are you a charity?


It's for an international company who I have a contract with ...so better to bite the bullet for 1 night than give them the hump..... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2014, 01:17:00 PM
You need a humping van  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 25, 2014, 01:17:46 PM
I've buggered off nowhere...just trying  to keep warm  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2014, 01:18:21 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2014, 01:18:26 PM
You need a humping van  :thumbsup:

 cloud9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 25, 2014, 01:20:07 PM
...so better to bite the pillow for 1 night than give them the hump..... noooo:
whistle:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 25, 2014, 04:37:00 PM
Is he the same size as you ?

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:  lol:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2014, 10:41:01 PM
Typical of Miss D. Pops in, causes trouble and then buggers off  noooo:

Why does pot and kettle spring to mind?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 28, 2014, 03:52:54 PM
Working an hour from home last night ......hotel manager comes down after about 2 hours and says ...is all your equipment working (not prison talk)...?....coz we have a problem with our electric and the last 2 djs blew their equipment up..... eeek:  cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2014, 04:18:03 PM
Working an hour from home last night ......hotel manager comes down after about 2 hours and says ...is all your equipment working (not prison talk)...?....coz we have a problem with our electric and the last 2 djs blew their equipment up..... eeek:  cussing:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 08, 2014, 12:13:38 PM
All day........ Banghead  got a private booking for Friday ..bride phones this morning it's at X hotel and the manager is not happy I have booked direct.....realised it was one of "my" companies.....so called them explained the dilema.....well you can't do it they say ....So I say why did you let her book her own fucking DJ then...... Banghead  so if it wasn't me it would be ok then..... rubschin:  stunned silence on phone.. cussing: cussing: cussing:

part 2 to follow I guess........ noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2014, 12:19:22 PM
 happy100 happy100 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 08, 2014, 12:21:54 PM
Best option send 1 of my djs say they got booked direct from the bride ..take commision plead dumb....... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 08, 2014, 01:23:02 PM
Best option send 1 of my djs say they got booked direct from the bride ..take commision plead dumb....... rubschin:

You shouldn't have any problem with that!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on September 08, 2014, 01:28:35 PM
 point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 08, 2014, 01:45:50 PM
Best option send 1 of my djs say they got booked direct from the bride ..take commision plead dumb....... rubschin:

You shouldn't have any problem with that!  Thumbs:
drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 10, 2014, 11:45:08 AM
All day........ Banghead  got a private booking for Friday ..bride phones this morning it's at X hotel and the manager is not happy I have booked direct.....realised it was one of "my" companies.....so called them explained the dilema.....well you can't do it they say ....So I say why did you let her book her own fucking DJ then...... Banghead  so if it wasn't me it would be ok then..... rubschin:  stunned silence on phone.. cussing: cussing: cussing:

part 2 to follow I guess........ noooo:


Now said company has cancelled 1 onFriday..... cussing:  I have booked people....... cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 10, 2014, 12:40:26 PM
All day........ Banghead  got a private booking for Friday ..bride phones this morning it's at X hotel and the manager is not happy I have booked direct.....realised it was one of "my" companies.....so called them explained the dilema.....well you can't do it they say ....So I say why did you let her book her own fucking DJ then...... Banghead  so if it wasn't me it would be ok then..... rubschin:  stunned silence on phone.. cussing: cussing: cussing:

part 2 to follow I guess........ noooo:


Now said company has cancelled 1 onFriday..... cussing:  I have booked people....... cussing: cussing:

Are you a DJ or a traffic warden....?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 10, 2014, 12:43:24 PM
All day........ Banghead  got a private booking for Friday ..bride phones this morning it's at X hotel and the manager is not happy I have booked direct.....realised it was one of "my" companies.....so called them explained the dilema.....well you can't do it they say ....So I say why did you let her book her own fucking DJ then...... Banghead  so if it wasn't me it would be ok then..... rubschin:  stunned silence on phone.. cussing: cussing: cussing:

part 2 to follow I guess........ noooo:


Now said company has cancelled 1 onFriday..... cussing:  I have booked people....... cussing: cussing:

Are you a DJ or a traffic warden....?  rubschin:


 cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 17, 2014, 12:07:26 PM
A wedding planner called me at half 8........ cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 17, 2014, 12:08:52 PM
A wedding planner called me at half 8........ cussing: cussing:

Did he say "I didn't expect you to be up" when you answered....?  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 17, 2014, 12:10:45 PM
A wedding planner called me at half 8........ cussing: cussing:

Did he say "I didn't expect you to be up" when you answered....?  whistle:

I didn't answer........seeing them today....... eveilgrin:  also a hotel called me at 1am to ask where I was and could I do an hour for them then....... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on September 17, 2014, 07:25:46 PM
The joys of show business.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 25, 2014, 01:18:05 PM
Not just mongs but also lying bastards........ cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on September 25, 2014, 02:19:39 PM
Popcorn:


______________________________
Your local friendly tapatalking heretic
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on September 25, 2014, 06:01:50 PM
Not just mongs but also lying bastards........ cussing:

You know when the slypriots are lying....their lips move.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 25, 2014, 06:35:34 PM
I went to the perspex shop last Thursday to order a new front panel for the vandalised vending machine....

"It will be ready in two days"

Went back today to ask where it was....

"tomorrow"....  evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on September 25, 2014, 07:02:46 PM
I went to the perspex shop last Thursday to order a new front panel for the vandalised vending machine....

"It will be ready in two days"

Went back today to ask where it was....

"tomorrow"....  evil:

....and how long have you lived here?  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 25, 2014, 07:10:12 PM
I went to the perspex shop last Thursday to order a new front panel for the vandalised vending machine....

"It will be ready in two days"

Went back today to ask where it was....

"tomorrow"....  evil:

....and how long have you lived here?  noooo:

12 years....  redface:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on September 25, 2014, 07:18:10 PM
 point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 25, 2014, 11:29:23 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 04, 2014, 11:53:03 AM
Get a phone call from the "big" company Friday at 5 30 (as they are finishing for the weekend )...oh my god we have booked you for 4 gigs on Monday .......yes I know and have them covered ..told them the venues and times ,,,,,,,oh we didn't know you could do more than 2 a day..... Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2014, 02:32:34 PM
Get a phone call from the "big" company Friday at 5 30 (as they are finishing for the weekend )...oh my god we have booked you for 4 gigs on Monday .......yes I know and have them covered ..told them the venues and times ,,,,,,,oh we didn't know you could do more than 2 a day..... Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 07, 2014, 03:30:44 PM
Get a phone call at stupid o'clock early from a rep.........called back later.......how did last night go..???   ..me. very well why....her...coz we had loads of problems during the day.......me so why didn't you stay till they arrived at the venue.....her .......silence...... Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 13, 2014, 01:59:43 PM
Just got a cancelation.......for a booking I didn't have........ noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 02:02:20 PM
CHarge a cancellation fee  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 13, 2014, 02:03:05 PM
CHarge a cancellation fee  :thumbsup:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 02:55:34 PM
CHarge a cancellation fee  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 15, 2014, 03:00:27 PM
Top tip..........if you are worried about leaving cash at a hotel reception in case it gets nicked .............
do not write on the front how much money is in the envelope....... Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on November 02, 2014, 05:35:37 PM
Got a girl who does karoake every Sunday at a hotel ..Monday they called and said it's too quiet we don't want anyone...OK thanks for the notice ........

This afternoon they call we want her tonight ..... Banghead   

told them "no"..... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on November 02, 2014, 05:37:05 PM
Got a girl who does karoake every Sunday at a hotel ..Monday they called and said it's too quiet we don't want anyone...OK thanks for the notice ........

This afternoon they call we want her tonight ..... Banghead   

told them "no"..... whistle:

Send BM.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on November 02, 2014, 05:38:27 PM
Got a girl who does karoake every Sunday at a hotel ..Monday they called and said it's too quiet we don't want anyone...OK thanks for the notice ........

This afternoon they call we want her tonight ..... Banghead   

told them "no"..... whistle:

Send BM.  Thumbs:

It starts at 8 ...he will be in bed.......... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2014, 05:39:29 PM
Is it tits & tats....?  eyes:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on November 02, 2014, 05:42:17 PM
Is it tits & tats....?  eyes:

Turn up in whatever costume you like.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on November 02, 2014, 05:47:31 PM
Is it tits & tats....?  eyes:

Turn up in whatever costume you like.  Thumbs:


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on November 02, 2014, 06:05:10 PM
you could lend him a pumpkin one
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 31, 2015, 12:47:49 PM
An e-mail comes in......will you still be available for work this season....????

I hope so...you have given me 10 bookings already..... ::)

Oh have we.....??

Yes I have confirmed them.......

.........oh so you have ..how professional...

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2015, 08:59:41 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2015, 09:02:13 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:

Call Nick!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2015, 09:03:54 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:

Call Nick!  Thumbs:


 noooo:

I work with enough mongs..... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2015, 09:18:03 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:

Call Nick!  Thumbs:


 noooo:

I work with enough mongs..... whistle:

Turns out I think he means disco lights/lazers........ noooo:

Which we have ...but at the venue booked for ..would be like an ashtray on a motorbike....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 04, 2015, 12:27:32 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:

Call Nick!  Thumbs:


 noooo:

I work with enough mongs..... whistle:

Turns out I think he means disco lights/lazers........ noooo:

Which we have ...but at the venue booked for ..would be like an ashtray on a motorbike....

I take it all back......another booking this morning......... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on March 04, 2015, 12:40:45 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:


Call Nick!  Thumbs:



 noooo:

I work with enough mongs..... whistle:


Turns out I think he means disco lights/lazers........ noooo:

Which we have ...but at the venue booked for ..would be like an ashtray on a motorbike....


I take it all back......another booking this morning......... whistle:



(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimg.org%2Fj94kznu33%2Fwebquest_soccer_red_card.jpg&hash=1054e24370c0284306329841cd76adb9) (http://postimg.org/image/j94kznu33/)


 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Baldy on March 04, 2015, 09:05:25 PM
Just got a call now for a booking ...(bit late... rubschin: ) ....all sorted....booked...
then asked "you do do pyrotechnics don't you ?"

Wot ..

pyrotechnics...

you mean fireworks ?????

Do I?????

yes...

It's wot it says on the e-mail...

NO....... noooo:


Call Nick!  Thumbs:



 noooo:

I work with enough mongs..... whistle:


Turns out I think he means disco lights/lazers........ noooo:

Which we have ...but at the venue booked for ..would be like an ashtray on a motorbike....


I take it all back......another booking this morning......... whistle:



([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimg.org%2Fj94kznu33%2Fwebquest_soccer_red_card.jpg&hash=1054e24370c0284306329841cd76adb9[/url]) ([url]http://postimg.org/image/j94kznu33/[/url])


 rubschin:


 drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 20, 2015, 03:20:18 PM
Phoned the international company today questioning why my bookings were down yet every other company is up.....?

"it's because of xyz hotel has most of the weddings"  (true)

so how does that affect me?

"because they only use their own DJ"

well that is strange coz I am booked there already 12 dates for 3 different companies..

"                                                .......really..."

Yes ..why would I lie....

"but we are a massive company , why are we not allowed ?"

 Banghead  I don't know ..

"Can I use your name to say you are allowed in ?"

No...you are the massive international company..... whistle:


update on Monday...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 20, 2015, 03:34:40 PM
Phoned the international company today questioning why my bookings were down yet every other company is up.....?

"it's because of xyz hotel has most of the weddings"  (true)

so how does that affect me?

"because they only use their own DJ"

well that is strange coz I am booked there already 12 dates for 3 different companies..

"                                                .......really..."

Yes ..why would I lie....

"but we are a massive company , why are we not allowed ?"

 Banghead  I don't know ..

"Can I use your name to say you are allowed in ?"

No...you are the massive international company..... whistle:


update on Monday...... rubschin:

This is obviously bothering her .... she always finishes at 5pm ....she calls back now.... ;D

"Are you allowed in abc hotel?".....

Yes...

"Are you allowed in def hotel ?"

Yes ..

This continues ....to about p.....

I suggest it maybe quicker to ask where I can't do.... ;D ;D ;D


I may have ruined her weekend........ whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2015, 04:03:01 PM
Phoned the international company today questioning why my bookings were down yet every other company is up.....?

"it's because of xyz hotel has most of the weddings"  (true)

so how does that affect me?

"because they only use their own DJ"

well that is strange coz I am booked there already 12 dates for 3 different companies..

"                                                .......really..."

Yes ..why would I lie....

"but we are a massive company , why are we not allowed ?"

 Banghead  I don't know ..

"Can I use your name to say you are allowed in ?"

No...you are the massive international company..... whistle:


update on Monday...... rubschin:

This is obviously bothering her .... she always finishes at 5pm ....she calls back now.... ;D

"Are you allowed in abc hotel?".....

Yes...

"Are you allowed in def hotel ?"

Yes ..

This continues ....to about p.....

I suggest it maybe quicker to ask where I can't do.... ;D ;D ;D


I may have ruined her weekend........ whistle:

 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on March 21, 2015, 11:18:03 AM
Phoned the international company today questioning why my bookings were down yet every other company is up.....?

"it's because of xyz hotel has most of the weddings"  (true)

so how does that affect me?

"because they only use their own DJ"

well that is strange coz I am booked there already 12 dates for 3 different companies..

"                                                .......really..."

Yes ..why would I lie....

"but we are a massive company , why are we not allowed ?"

 Banghead  I don't know ..

"Can I use your name to say you are allowed in ?"

No...you are the massive international company..... whistle:


update on Monday...... rubschin:

This is obviously bothering her .... she always finishes at 5pm ....she calls back now.... ;D

"Are you allowed in abc hotel?".....

Yes...

"Are you allowed in def hotel ?"

Yes ..

This continues ....to about p.....

I suggest it maybe quicker to ask where I can't do.... ;D ;D ;D


I may have ruined her weekend........ whistle:

 eveilgrin:
this could go two ways you say
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 21, 2015, 02:12:12 PM
Phoned the international company today questioning why my bookings were down yet every other company is up.....?

"it's because of xyz hotel has most of the weddings"  (true)

so how does that affect me?

"because they only use their own DJ"

well that is strange coz I am booked there already 12 dates for 3 different companies..

"                                                .......really..."

Yes ..why would I lie....

"but we are a massive company , why are we not allowed ?"

 Banghead  I don't know ..

"Can I use your name to say you are allowed in ?"

No...you are the massive international company..... whistle:


update on Monday...... rubschin:

This is obviously bothering her .... she always finishes at 5pm ....she calls back now.... ;D

"Are you allowed in abc hotel?".....

Yes...

"Are you allowed in def hotel ?"

Yes ..

This continues ....to about p.....

I suggest it maybe quicker to ask where I can't do.... ;D ;D ;D


I may have ruined her weekend........ whistle:

 eveilgrin:
this could go two ways you say

I am contracted to them for another 2 years ...so in theory a win..win....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 01, 2015, 11:44:59 AM
So the season starts..... Banghead  booked for tomorrow so arrange extra djs.....text comes in ...cancelled..... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 06, 2015, 05:24:53 PM
Call comes in..

Them; you need to raise your intermong profile..

Me; why all my booking come from you direct ?

Them: we think it would be better....and easier to sell..

Me; Don't you think if I raise my profile , they might want to book direct wiyh me ??

Them; Oh . rubschin:  we wouldn't want that....

Me; so why should I spend time and money doing that ??

They are gonna get back to me ..... Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on April 06, 2015, 06:37:30 PM
We are surrounded by idiots. Who are these morons????
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 06, 2015, 07:39:18 PM
We are surrounded by idiots. Who are these morons????

Zactly..... Banghead  these re big companies..... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 30, 2015, 01:01:37 PM
Call comes in from 5 star hotel .....you are booked here for 2 weddings next Thursday for 2 different companies ..please make sure both djs are aware of this and set their speakers so not to interfere with each other...assure them that's not a problem.... Thumbs:

go and check diary.....neither company has booked/told me yet....... Banghead

(I am the only company allowed in the hotel )....
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on April 30, 2015, 04:20:34 PM
Call comes in from 5 star hotel .....you are booked here for 2 weddings next Thursday for 2 different companies ..please make sure both djs are aware of this and set their speakers so not to interfere with each other...assure them that's not a problem.... Thumbs:

go and check diary.....neither company has booked/told me yet....... Banghead

(I am the only company allowed in the hotel )....
That's what you get when employees start posting about ham
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on April 30, 2015, 04:22:30 PM
I like ham.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 30, 2015, 04:23:26 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 05, 2015, 12:33:58 PM
A call comes in ......

"have we given you all our bookings for this/next week because it's really busy "

How do I know...... Banghead

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 05, 2015, 01:27:59 PM
A call comes in ......

"have we given you all our bookings for this/next week because it's really busy "

How do I know...... Banghead

Turns out ....no you fecking haven't... Banghead

(after e-mailing all of them explaining about needing warning coz Miss T can't work)...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 05, 2015, 06:37:13 PM
Call comes in..

Them; you need to raise your intermong profile..

Me; why all my booking come from you direct ?

Them: we think it would be better....and easier to sell..

Me; Don't you think if I raise my profile , they might want to book direct wiyh me ??

Them; Oh . rubschin:  we wouldn't want that....

Me; so why should I spend time and money doing that ??

They are gonna get back to me ..... Banghead Banghead

Possibly a stupid question but would you make more money if they booked with you directly? The agents must be taking a cut of the fee after all.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2015, 10:56:23 AM
Call comes in..

Them; you need to raise your intermong profile..

Me; why all my booking come from you direct ?

Them: we think it would be better....and easier to sell..

Me; Don't you think if I raise my profile , they might want to book direct wiyh me ??

Them; Oh . rubschin:  we wouldn't want that....

Me; so why should I spend time and money doing that ??

They are gonna get back to me ..... Banghead Banghead

Possibly a stupid question but would you make more money if they booked with you directly? The agents must be taking a cut of the fee after all.  rubschin:

Yes treble ...in some cases the "commission" is double what I get.....but these companies advertise and some give me 40 weddings a year...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 07, 2015, 09:29:10 PM
 cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2015, 04:48:48 PM
So, my mate died.... His wife has sorted out the probate and I have been helping sell his cars...

I placed an advert today....

Quote
Mitsubishi L200 €5,750

A 2002 model Mitsubishi L200 'double cab' in excellent condition!

The vehicle has just 118,000Km on the clock and has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic.

In addition to the normal double-cab features (air bags, central locking, electric mirrors, electric windows, air conditioning), the vehicle includes: -

Load bay liner
Mitsubishi 'roll-over' bar
JVC CD Player/radio
Tow bar and electrics

The vehicle has recently been fitted with new tyres and a new battery.

The bodywork is in excellent condition and has been re-sprayed. There is a small scratch on the tailgate (shown in pictures).

For more pictures and details (and other items for sale) see our Garage Sale website.

[url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url] ([url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url])

For more details or to arrange an inspection (the vehicle is in Pafos) please call 99854712.


And what is the first response I get...? ::)

Quote
What do you mean by "has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic."
This is really offensive and racist.


Oh do fuck off!  cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 11, 2015, 04:51:34 PM
Put "Greek" in and see the price plummet  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 11, 2015, 04:55:18 PM
So, my mate died.... His wife has sorted out the probate and I have been helping sell his cars...

I placed an advert today....

Quote
Mitsubishi L200 €5,750

A 2002 model Mitsubishi L200 'double cab' in excellent condition!

The vehicle has just 118,000Km on the clock and has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic.

In addition to the normal double-cab features (air bags, central locking, electric mirrors, electric windows, air conditioning), the vehicle includes: -

Load bay liner
Mitsubishi 'roll-over' bar
JVC CD Player/radio
Tow bar and electrics

The vehicle has recently been fitted with new tyres and a new battery.

The bodywork is in excellent condition and has been re-sprayed. There is a small scratch on the tailgate (shown in pictures).

For more pictures and details (and other items for sale) see our Garage Sale website.

[url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url] ([url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url])

For more details or to arrange an inspection (the vehicle is in Pafos) please call 99854712.


And what is the first response I get...? ::)

Quote
What do you mean by "has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic."
This is really offensive and racist.


Oh do fuck off!  cussing:


Say just like your wife... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2015, 06:13:04 PM
So, my mate died.... His wife has sorted out the probate and I have been helping sell his cars...

I placed an advert today....

Quote
Mitsubishi L200 €5,750

A 2002 model Mitsubishi L200 'double cab' in excellent condition!

The vehicle has just 118,000Km on the clock and has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic.

In addition to the normal double-cab features (air bags, central locking, electric mirrors, electric windows, air conditioning), the vehicle includes: -

Load bay liner
Mitsubishi 'roll-over' bar
JVC CD Player/radio
Tow bar and electrics

The vehicle has recently been fitted with new tyres and a new battery.

The bodywork is in excellent condition and has been re-sprayed. There is a small scratch on the tailgate (shown in pictures).

For more pictures and details (and other items for sale) see our Garage Sale website.

[url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url] ([url]http://www.uniquecyprusvilla.com/joomla/en/garage-sale[/url])

For more details or to arrange an inspection (the vehicle is in Pafos) please call 99854712.


And what is the first response I get...? ::)

Quote
What do you mean by "has been regularly serviced by a British mechanic."
This is really offensive and racist.


Oh do fuck off!  cussing:


Say just like your wife... Thumbs:


happy001

Or your mother? happy002
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 15, 2015, 09:52:59 AM
 cussing:  Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2015, 10:05:29 AM
cussing:  Banghead

Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 15, 2015, 10:16:40 AM
cussing:  Banghead

Popcorn:

I have gone from 4 gigs today to 2.... cussing:  a text comes in your first dance for Tues is xxx...you haven't fvcking booked me for Tues ,,,,, Banghead  and repeat,,,,,,,, noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on May 15, 2015, 01:26:44 PM
Hotel wedding coordinator "see you monday"

me "I dont have a booking"

hwc "the comopany booked a dj ages ago"

me "ok, see you monday"......check diary and emails, no booking. noooo:

I called the company......"oh yes, we do need you".
 
For fucks sake, today is friday, if I hadn't stumbled upon the error by accident, there would be nobody turning up on monday.  angry041:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on May 24, 2015, 05:42:57 PM
I'm back......

Got a wedding tomorrow, spoke to the rep on Friday (before the weekend) I need details for a particular wedding on monday.....

yesterday she answered the phone with the words....."i forgot Misty"..

The dj I have for this booking is waiting for his information, including what bloody time he starts...I text the rep and she is not happy...

"its Sunday!!! I am with my family, I work 12 hour days and want at least one day off!!!"

Fuck that, if she had not forgotten, I wouldn't have to bother her on a Sunday! Also, bollx Sunday, APey is at a wedding now and I am up to my ears in paperwork trying to organise the week ahead, and the greek dancers whom I've confirmed wont answer the phone.  angry041:

This is someones wedding day for gods sake, we don't take a break, its too important.  The rep said she will give me the information at 7am tomorrow, which means she bloody well has it!

long night ahead.....wine or coffee....wine or coffee.....??? rubschin:

sorry, rant over.







Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2015, 06:01:22 PM
WINE
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on May 24, 2015, 06:27:45 PM
Done!  Thumbs: (only cos you told me to)

just realised I may have made a professional boo-boo.  scared2:

Before the conversation with the crap Rep, I got an email from another who gave me all my info immediately on request......I thanked her greatly and told her what a crap week we have ahead so I appreciate her orginisation.....and just to be friendly, I told her I wished everyone else was as organised as her............then remembered, the family the crap rep is spending her "Sunday" with, is the good rep (another company), her Mum.  facepalm:

Have I just told the good rep her daughter is shit?  redface:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2015, 06:30:19 PM
Mother thrashes daughter every time  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 eastdrink048
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 02:43:05 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 02:45:25 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 02:48:12 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 02:51:51 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 02:56:09 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:

two, four, six, oh, oooooooonnnnnne  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 02:59:21 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:

two, four, six, oh, oooooooonnnnnne  :thumbsup:

We won't tell Apey.... * winks *
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 04, 2015, 03:10:26 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:

two, four, six, oh, oooooooonnnnnne  :thumbsup:

We won't tell Apey.... * winks *

Surely part of the fun will be seeing Apey's face when he walks in the door and is blasted by Les Mis...  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 03:34:33 PM
for years I have done my job, turning up at hotels with my equipment, not sure where the wedding venue is, and got by just fine. Why then, has every grown man who works for me devolved into a retarded chimp when it comes to having to do things on their own. my phone has not stopped. every call is a whining drone of "I don't know where to go......Am I in the right hotel......can someone tie my shoe laces..."  angry041:

These are grown men who have been in the industry (and alive) for many more years than I, yet I have to coordinate their every move. I am sick of wiping the fucking arses of idiotards.

Now stop calling me and ask fucking reception where the wedding is!!!!!! Simples!

rant over, many thanks for your patience.  cloud9:

happy100

I am playing Les Mis if it helps...?

 cloud9: cloud9:
I will too, Apey is at werk.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:

two, four, six, oh, oooooooonnnnnne  :thumbsup:

We won't tell Apey.... * winks *

Surely part of the fun will be seeing Apey's face when he walks in the door and is blasted by Les Mis...  whistle:

 noooo: he will hear it outside and wont actually come home..... really.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 04, 2015, 03:35:50 PM
You know, if Apey has an smart phone you can always set it to play one of the songs whenever you ring him....  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 03:38:58 PM
You know, if Apey has an smart phone you can always set it to play one of the songs whenever you ring him....  eveilgrin:

do you really believe Apey would have an smart phone. He can barely manage two paper cups connected by string.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 04, 2015, 03:40:54 PM
Ah Apey is an dumb phone user then  facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 03:49:32 PM
I'm saying nothing.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 04:00:06 PM
Ah Apey is an dumb phone user then  facepalm:

He gets Misty to answer it for him....  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 04:03:17 PM
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 06:44:58 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 06:50:21 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 07:00:10 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tI4jb-Aca9M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


just played it! was gonna post it too.

for those who don't know......to wake a sleeping lady, take a mobile speaker, on full volume, delicately place it on the pillow upon which rests her hungover head, and play this song. Said lady will then rise, cursing, Then BM makes everyone bacon sandwiches.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 07:05:14 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tI4jb-Aca9M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


just played it! was gonna post it too.

for those who don't know......to wake a sleeping lady, take a mobile speaker, on full volume, delicately place it on the pillow upon which rests her hungover head, and play this song. Said lady will then rise, cursing, Then BM makes everyone bacon sandwiches.  :thumbsup:

 cloud9:

And then he shags everybody!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on June 04, 2015, 07:18:48 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tI4jb-Aca9M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


just played it! was gonna post it too.

for those who don't know......to wake a sleeping lady, take a mobile speaker, on full volume, delicately place it on the pillow upon which rests her hungover head, and play this song. Said lady will then rise, cursing, Then BM makes everyone bacon sandwiches.  :thumbsup:

 cloud9:

And then he shags everybody!  eveilgrin:

well I missed that bit and there was only me and Apey there so...............
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2015, 07:20:30 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gMYNfQlf1H8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


got goosebumples! loooove it! Thank you cloud9:


Talking about singing the song of angry men.....an email came in from a dj booked for tomorrow, refusing to do the gig he already agreed to unless I pay Xamount (more than we are getting) have had to change every bloody booking for tomorrow last minute. I'm not very popular.  noooo:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tI4jb-Aca9M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


just played it! was gonna post it too.

for those who don't know......to wake a sleeping lady, take a mobile speaker, on full volume, delicately place it on the pillow upon which rests her hungover head, and play this song. Said lady will then rise, cursing, Then BM makes everyone bacon sandwiches.  :thumbsup:

 cloud9:

And then he shags everybody!  eveilgrin:

well I missed that bit and there was only me and Apey there so...............

 eeek:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2015, 10:59:00 AM
 Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2015, 11:20:54 AM
Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:

Perhaps if you got out of bed earlier...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2015, 11:22:56 AM
Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:

Perhaps if you got out of bed earlier...?  whistle:

It would still be Monday......... ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2015, 11:24:20 AM
Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:

Perhaps if you got out of bed earlier...?  whistle:

It would still be Monday......... ::)

Tell me why you don't like Mondays... Shrugs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Creant on June 08, 2015, 11:52:45 AM
Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:

Perhaps if you got out of bed earlier...?  whistle:

It would still be Monday......... ::)

Tell me why you don't like Mondays... Shrugs:

Has the silly cone switch inside his head been switched to overload? Shrugs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 08, 2015, 12:14:00 PM
Banghead

It's only Monday...... cussing:

Perhaps if you got out of bed earlier...?  whistle:

It would still be Monday......... ::)

Tell me why you don't like Mondays... Shrugs:

Has the silly cone switch inside his head been switched to overload? Shrugs:

I bet his is still geranium, on cost grounds.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:15:15 PM
My solicitor is a complete mong  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2015, 12:16:09 PM
My solicitor is a complete mong  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

He was smart enough to get you to pay up front!  point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:18:58 PM
 Banghead Banghead  I tell him the problem. He writes it down and sends it back te me getting it totally wrong. I rewrite it for him.

He should be paying me  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:21:45 PM
And now my bank has called to apologise. I moved some money today from an ISA to a current account and the cashier asked me what I wanted the money for  eeek:  I gave her what for  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2015, 12:23:15 PM
And now my bank has called to apologise. I moved some money today from an ISA to a current account and the cashier asked me what I wanted the money for  eeek:  I gave her what for  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

For your solicitor......... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:25:00 PM
No  evil:  For The Boy's eye wateringly expensive field trip to sodding ICELAND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2015, 12:26:52 PM
No  evil:  For The Boy's eye wateringly expensive field trip to sodding ICELAND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

He meet peter Andre too........ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:29:53 PM
 horn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 08, 2015, 12:31:37 PM
No  evil:  For The Boy's eye wateringly expensive field trip to sodding ICELAND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

I thought Mums went to Iceland...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 08, 2015, 12:32:11 PM
 horn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 08, 2015, 12:32:56 PM
No  evil:  For The Boy's eye wateringly expensive field trip to sodding ICELAND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

I thought Mums went to Iceland...?  rubschin:

Snoozed....... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2015, 02:31:49 PM
At the FOURTH attempt my solicitor has managed to get the letter to my enemy correct  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 15, 2015, 02:34:52 PM
At the FOURTH attempt my solicitor has managed to get the letter to my enemy correct  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

4 x £250

Kerching  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on June 15, 2015, 02:35:36 PM
At the FOURTH attempt my solicitor has managed to get the letter to my enemy correct  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

4 x £250

Kerching  Thumbs:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2015, 02:40:20 PM
We had agreed a fixed fee, fortunately  ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on June 15, 2015, 04:28:54 PM
We had agreed a fixed fee, fortunately  ::)
A No win No no fee deal then
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2015, 04:29:30 PM
 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 01, 2015, 01:17:31 PM
My mate goes to London to spy on a conference that we needed info about for a tender we are writing

He calls: I got everything  :thumbsup: 















ANd then left it all on a Tube train  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 01, 2015, 04:01:07 PM
My mate goes to London to spy on a conference that we needed info about for a tender we are writing

He calls: I got everything  :thumbsup: 


"My mate". Yes, of course  ::)














ANd then left it all on a Tube train  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2015, 04:02:02 PM
My mate goes to London to spy on a conference that we needed info about for a tender we are writing

He calls: I got everything  :thumbsup: 
















ANd then left it all on a Tube train  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
"My mate". Yes, of course  ::)


happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 01, 2015, 04:02:49 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 01, 2015, 08:33:48 PM
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:

"Guillaume Pas D'ami"  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2015, 05:25:27 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 13, 2015, 07:41:12 AM
Aaargghh,,,,,

Can I confirm the bookings for tomorrow n Thursday please ..

can you call back tomorrow we cant find the file...

The wedding is tomorrow ... Banghead

oh so it is ..

That is why I said for TOMORROW,,,,,,

 cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 13, 2015, 12:17:59 PM
Aaargghh,,,,,

Can I confirm the bookings for tomorrow n Thursday please ..

can you call back tomorrow we cant find the file...

The wedding is tomorrow ... Banghead

oh so it is ..

That is why I said for TOMORROW,,,,,,

 cussing:

Now 2 e-mails and 3 texts from them trying to confirm it.... Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 13, 2015, 01:12:40 PM
Aaargghh,,,,,

Can I confirm the bookings for tomorrow n Thursday please ..

can you call back tomorrow we cant find the file...

The wedding is tomorrow ... Banghead

oh so it is ..

That is why I said for TOMORROW,,,,,,

 cussing:

Now 2 e-mails and 3 texts from them trying to confirm it.... Banghead
better than same trying to cancel it
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Creant on July 20, 2015, 02:55:00 PM
Today I have been dealing with idiots and dolts.  My patience is wearing very thin. I may have to go and boil my head. Angry9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 20, 2015, 02:56:09 PM
Today I have been dealing with idiots and dolts.  My patience is wearing very thin. I may have to go and boil my head. Angry9:

Be careful of your ribs when you lean over the pan...  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Creant on July 21, 2015, 09:09:43 AM
Today I have been dealing with idiots and dolts.  My patience is wearing very thin. I may have to go and boil my head. Angry9:

Be careful of your ribs when you lean over the pan...  :thumbsup:

Excellent advice. :thumbsup:  Bending bloody hurts come to think of it breathing bloody hurts I may have to give that up too. evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 21, 2015, 09:24:59 AM
Today I have been dealing with idiots and dolts.  My patience is wearing very thin. I may have to go and boil my head. Angry9:

Be careful of your ribs when you lean over the pan...  :thumbsup:

Excellent advice. :thumbsup:  Bending bloody hurts come to think of it breathing bloody hurts I may have to give that up too. evil:

Stick to small breaths.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 22, 2015, 08:31:51 PM
E-mail today ..last "minute" booking for 25th of July with an apology...

I replied ,since the booking is for 2016 ,,I would forgive them........ noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on July 29, 2015, 11:30:23 PM
God help me. I am going to be tech manager for a DJ convention.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 29, 2015, 11:33:34 PM
God help me. I am going to be tech manager for a DJ convention.

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 30, 2015, 04:14:02 AM
God help me. I am going to be tech manager for a DJ convention.

You'll need a copy of Come on Eileen and you're done...  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 30, 2015, 09:17:22 AM
God help me. I am going to be tech manager for a DJ convention.

You'll need a copy of Come on Eileen and you're done...  Thumbs:
but enough of your dodgy film collection
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 30, 2015, 09:18:52 AM
God help me. I am going to be tech manager for a DJ convention.

You'll need a copy of Come on Eileen and you're done...  Thumbs:
but enough of your dodgy film collection

 redface:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 30, 2015, 09:19:18 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 30, 2015, 09:20:06 AM
My poor thread.... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on July 30, 2015, 09:37:13 AM
I will have to deal with 30 Amoeba with Attitude over 2 days.  May take a baseball bat. Something along the lines of " If that red light comes on you will next wake up with tubes in your arm"
These won't be harmless old wedding DJ'S and no chance of hearing any ABBA !
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 30, 2015, 10:08:27 AM
I will have to deal with 30 Amoeba with Attitude over 2 days.  May take a baseball bat. Something along the lines of " If that red light comes on you will next wake up with tubes in your arm"
These won't be harmless old wedding DJ'S and no chance of hearing any ABBA !

OLD..... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 30, 2015, 08:56:38 PM
I will have to deal with 30 Amoeba with Attitude over 2 days.  May take a baseball bat. Something along the lines of " If that red light comes on you will next wake up with tubes in your arm"
These won't be harmless old wedding DJ'S and no chance of hearing any ABBA !

OLD..... cussing:

I can't decide if you buggered up there of were having a Douglas Adams moment Apey...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 30, 2015, 10:57:33 PM
A clusterfvck of a night at both weddings...... surrender:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 31, 2015, 08:07:45 AM
A clusterfvck of a night at both weddings...... surrender:
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 31, 2015, 10:54:04 AM
A clusterfvck of a night at both weddings...... surrender:
Popcorn:
Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2015, 11:14:11 AM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2015, 11:32:54 AM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2015, 11:57:54 AM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001

In the end I had to find out where they rented the villa from ,,,,find the cleaner who had the spare key (but was too pissed to drive ),,,,so they could get their mini-bus to go passed her house to pick up the key ...told the bride n groom to bill the wedding company... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 31, 2015, 12:07:18 PM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001

In the end I had to find out where they rented the villa from ,,,,find the cleaner who had the spare key (but was too pissed to drive ),,,,so they could get their mini-bus to go passed her house to pick up the key ...told the bride n groom to bill the wedding company... noooo:
:thumbsup:  well done sir

Are we talking about the now unemployed person formerly a wedding planner?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2015, 12:10:58 PM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001

In the end I had to find out where they rented the villa from ,,,,find the cleaner who had the spare key (but was too pissed to drive ),,,,so they could get their mini-bus to go passed her house to pick up the key ...told the bride n groom to bill the wedding company... noooo:
:thumbsup:  well done sir

Are we talking about the now unemployed person formerly a wedding planner?

The thing is ...it's not my fvcking job ..I am a DJ...but after 8/9 pm I am the only native English speaking person so they come to me... Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 31, 2015, 10:38:25 PM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001

In the end I had to find out where they rented the villa from ,,,,find the cleaner who had the spare key (but was too pissed to drive ),,,,so they could get their mini-bus to go passed her house to pick up the key ...told the bride n groom to bill the wedding company... noooo:
:thumbsup:  well done sir

Are we talking about the now unemployed person formerly a wedding planner?

The thing is ...it's not my fvcking job ..I am a DJ...but after 8/9 pm I am the only native English speaking person so they come to me... Banghead

We guessed you would be the last resort. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2015, 11:41:19 PM
The wedding planner took the keys to the bride n grooms villa ...then turned her phone off.....all the guests were supposed to be staying there that night... noooo:

happy001

In the end I had to find out where they rented the villa from ,,,,find the cleaner who had the spare key (but was too pissed to drive ),,,,so they could get their mini-bus to go passed her house to pick up the key ...told the bride n groom to bill the wedding company... noooo:
:thumbsup:  well done sir

Are we talking about the now unemployed person formerly a wedding planner?

The thing is ...it's not my fvcking job ..I am a DJ...but after 8/9 pm I am the only native English speaking person so they come to me... Banghead

We guessed you would be the last resort. :thumbsup:

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 02, 2015, 08:10:08 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs30.postimg.org%2Fmnn3biqel%2Fwed.jpg&hash=6fdee972554bb75b6dd2d3eb2b2886ea) (http://postimg.org/image/mnn3biqel/)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on August 02, 2015, 08:15:31 AM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs30.postimg.org%2Fmnn3biqel%2Fwed.jpg&hash=6fdee972554bb75b6dd2d3eb2b2886ea[/url]) ([url]http://postimg.org/image/mnn3biqel/[/url])




It's Bitmac!     



Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 02, 2015, 01:54:47 PM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs30.postimg.org%2Fmnn3biqel%2Fwed.jpg&hash=6fdee972554bb75b6dd2d3eb2b2886ea[/url]) ([url]http://postimg.org/image/mnn3biqel/[/url])
happy002 happy002 happy002 
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Just One More on August 02, 2015, 05:14:50 PM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs30.postimg.org%2Fmnn3biqel%2Fwed.jpg&hash=6fdee972554bb75b6dd2d3eb2b2886ea[/url]) ([url]http://postimg.org/image/mnn3biqel/[/url])




It's Bitmac!   


 ;D    Great article Nick  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 02, 2015, 05:18:49 PM
Not me, just found
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 02, 2015, 10:37:14 PM
Not me, just found

Obviously nOT YOUR wORk, but well found anyway.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 03, 2015, 08:44:45 AM

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs30.postimg.org%2Fmnn3biqel%2Fwed.jpg&hash=6fdee972554bb75b6dd2d3eb2b2886ea[/url]) ([url]http://postimg.org/image/mnn3biqel/[/url])


happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 10, 2015, 09:52:29 PM
Too much for tonight ......will explain tomorrow.... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 25, 2015, 12:56:10 PM
 cussing: Angry9: Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 25, 2015, 01:24:43 PM
 Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2015, 01:29:44 PM
Could be anywhere  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2015, 01:47:10 PM
Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:

Planning on a stress free holiday far away from where Nick is you say...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 25, 2015, 01:49:26 PM
Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:

Planning on a stress free holiday far away from where Nick is you say...  rubschin:

far, far away.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2015, 01:50:20 PM
 sad32:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2015, 02:33:20 PM
Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:

Planning on a stress free holiday far away from where Nick is you say...  rubschin:

far, far away.

Pissouri!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 25, 2015, 02:37:34 PM
Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:

Planning on a stress free holiday far away from where Nick is you say...  rubschin:

far, far away.

Logically Nottingham would be the safest place then if you don't know where he is headed...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 25, 2015, 04:05:35 PM
Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh: Yargh:

we need a holiday. Has Nick decided where he's going yet?  rubschin:

Planning on a stress free holiday far away from where Nick is you say...  rubschin:

far, far away.

Logically Nottingham would be the safest place then if you don't know where he is headed...  rubschin:

 noooo: I've been to Nottingham, I will take my chances.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 26, 2015, 12:23:45 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2015, 12:53:29 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 26, 2015, 12:54:23 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:

 cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2015, 12:55:51 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:

 cussing:

Are you going to the cinema thing tonight...?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 26, 2015, 12:58:12 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:

 cussing:

Are you going to the cinema thing tonight...?

No got 3 weddings....And I will get crap money coz I have to float between them.... evil:

I will actually earn more tomorrow working on my own..... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2015, 12:59:56 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:

 cussing:

Are you going to the cinema thing tonight...?

No got 3 weddings....And I will get crap money coz I have to float between them.... evil:

I will actually earn more tomorrow working on my own..... noooo:

I won't go then....  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 26, 2015, 01:17:05 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:

Next Friday...?  rubschin:

 cussing:

Are you going to the cinema thing tonight...?

No got 3 weddings....And I will get crap money coz I have to float between them.... evil:

I will actually earn more tomorrow working on my own..... noooo:

I won't go then....  noooo:

 cloud9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 26, 2015, 01:26:39 PM
 cussing:  now there is one tomorrow as well......... cussing:

ooops I forgot to press send..... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 26, 2015, 01:34:29 PM
Call comes in ...panic ..are you free tomorrow??

no but can provide a dj.. Thumbs:

ok thank you etc...

I book dj..

can you confirm and send details by e-mail please ...

e-mail comes in....it's for fvcking Friday... Banghead

Last time I checked Thursday followed Weds....... cussing: cussing:


Fucking mongtarded knobcheeses!!  Angry9:

It seems fridays booking is an extra one and they had in fact forgotten to book us for tomorrow. We only know cos we phoned head office to double check. "ooops, I forgot to press send on the email" was the reply. This is a huge international company!!! Piss up and brewery come to mind.

I have cancelled djs, booked extra djs, wept in the corner a little.  noooo: I don't get paid enough for this bollox. Sick of having to do everyone elses job for them.  Banghead

rant over.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 26, 2015, 02:12:59 PM
Now one of the djs who starts in half an hour calls, the roof on her convertible has stuck and she cant get her equipment out of the car, can she come and borrow some of my extra kit. I'm leaving to go to my own gig in ten mins and cant get anything to her later as she is on a yacht and so will be in the middle of the sea.  angry041: the day just gets betterer. I'm drinking now.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2015, 02:15:47 PM
Now one of the djs who starts in half an hour calls, the roof on her convertible has stuck and she cant get her equipment out of the car, can she come and borrow some of my extra kit. I'm leaving to go to my own gig in ten mins and cant get anything to her later as she is on a yacht and so will be in the middle of the sea.  angry041: the day just gets betterer. I'm drinking now.  noooo:

happy100
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 26, 2015, 02:40:41 PM
They should use carbon paper  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 26, 2015, 05:54:42 PM
They should use carbon paper  noooo:

Pray tell what paper doesn't contain carbon? 
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2015, 06:57:23 PM
They should use carbon paper  noooo:

Pray tell what paper doesn't contain carbon? 

happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 26, 2015, 09:19:25 PM
 Angry9: Banghead cussing: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:

'nuff said.

at least the day is over..........for now.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 26, 2015, 09:58:46 PM
I am so close to tears, just through sheer anger. I want to have a 5 year old tantrum and scream "it's not fair".  angry041:

I hate people taking advantage. I'm upset because somebody elses moronity once again could kill the reputation we worked so hard to achieve.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 26, 2015, 10:08:11 PM
I am so close to tears, just through sheer anger. I want to have a 5 year old tantrum and scream "it's not fair".  angry041:

I hate people taking advantage. I'm upset because somebody elses moronity once again could kill the reputation we worked so hard to achieve.
Oh woe

Are we talking about Ms Stuck Convertible?   Did she find a can opener?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 31, 2015, 09:38:39 AM
 Banghead  and it's only Monday.. noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 31, 2015, 01:42:30 PM
I am so close to tears, just through sheer anger. I want to have a 5 year old tantrum and scream "it's not fair".  angry041:

I hate people taking advantage. I'm upset because somebody elses moronity once again could kill the reputation we worked so hard to achieve.
Oh woe

Are we talking about Ms Stuck Convertible?   Did she find a can opener?

She is supposed to be in a meeting with a very important groom for tomrrow in 15 minutes. The meeting was brought forward but I haven't got hold of her all day as her phone is off, no email reply or FB. Also her gig tonight is cancelled and at the moment she doesnt know cos I still cant get in touch with her.

The wedding tomorrow is Lebanese and they are quiet specific about traditions etc, so the groom wanted to meet her today to go over all his requirements and give her the lebanese music. If she doesn't show, the company are going to have poor Apey's head on a stick.

I feel sick. This is someones wedding day about to be ruined.  angry041:

I have even put out a post on FB to see if anyone has seen her. I don't know what else to do.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 31, 2015, 01:43:25 PM
Do the job yourself and sack her
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 31, 2015, 02:06:50 PM
Do the job yourself and sack her

I think we will need to bury her. Apey is gonna kill her.

She just came on FB 5:02pm (the meeting was originally for 5) "lost my phone, just thought to check here, what time is that meeting today"

my reply "NOW!!!!!!"

"ah, ok, can you phone the taxi firm to see if they found my phone?"

I was on the phone to Apey during this and he said to me...

"don't you fucking DARE do her any favours!"

 scared:

hes trying to keep the bride and groom happy at the same time. He also has his own wedding now which he wont be ready for. My baby is not a happy bunny.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 31, 2015, 04:15:15 PM
it gets better.  surrender:


she just stormed into my house yelling at me about how complicated the wedding is going to be for her. Not even a sorry to begin with.  Angry9:

She is NOW going to look in the bar she was in last night for her phone.....now? NOW?  Angry9:

Last wedding for her tomorrow, she just doesn't know it yet.

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 31, 2015, 04:17:55 PM
Sack her
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 31, 2015, 04:20:48 PM
it gets better.  surrender:


she just stormed into my house yelling at me about how complicated the wedding is going to be for her. Not even a sorry to begin with.  Angry9:

She is NOW going to look in the bar she was in last night for her phone.....now? NOW?  Angry9:

Last wedding for her tomorrow, she just doesn't know it yet.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 31, 2015, 06:04:19 PM
Sack her
so true you had to say it twice

If Misty doesn't sack her then other DJs will think it's OK to make Misty run around for them, Ms Convertible will just get worse and eventually someone really will kill her

Get rid
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on August 31, 2015, 07:39:46 PM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 31, 2015, 07:41:07 PM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

Apey...  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on August 31, 2015, 08:51:37 PM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

 eeek:  I'm sure he wasn't working for me.

How did he end up arrested?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 31, 2015, 10:18:35 PM
Sacked ..........piss boiling.... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 01, 2015, 12:17:51 AM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

In defence was the sister fit........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 01, 2015, 04:15:27 AM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

In defence was the sister fit........... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on September 01, 2015, 09:46:25 AM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

In defence was the sister fit........... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

Maybe the question is was the sister legal?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 01, 2015, 12:14:48 PM
Now got a cancellation for tomorrow ..I have booked DJs... Banghead
I won't cancel them on 24 hours notice....so I have a day off ... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on September 01, 2015, 12:48:48 PM
All I can say is  barman:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 01, 2015, 12:57:44 PM
Sadly I had another run in with a DJ this weekend (Sorry Apey !).
It's a huge saga but DJ Dogbreath committed so many offences during a big budget, full production wedding at a stately pile that he ended up being arrested and spent the night in the cells. He was the only element of the production we didn't organise. He came with the caterers.

Sometime I will tell the whole story, but trying to cop off with the brides' younger sister and pinching drinks were just the beginning. Trying to wake up the owner of the house and father of the bride at 3am because he couldn't get his car and van out of the carpark was the end of it.

In defence was the sister fit........... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:

Maybe the question is was the sister legal?

He's an entertainer it's allowed .....see BBC rules...... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on September 01, 2015, 02:42:10 PM
All I can say is  barman:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on September 11, 2015, 02:19:52 PM
A call comes in ....

your wedding on Tuesday is cancelled.......


I don't have a booking for you on Tuesday...

Silence ...

I do have one for Thursday.....

Do you ?????......

Yes ..explain names and venue ,,,


I'll get back to you.........


 Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 11, 2015, 07:52:23 PM
How many entertainers are these idiots agents for?  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 11, 2015, 07:53:52 PM
How many entertainers are these idiots agents for?  noooo:


Said the Mongs....  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 11, 2015, 08:03:12 PM
How many entertainers are these idiots agents for?  noooo:


Said the Mongs....  whistle:

Sorry BM, didn't realise you had already asked the question..  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on September 11, 2015, 08:04:34 PM
He should be in bed by now  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on September 14, 2015, 04:14:14 PM
 lol: lol: lol: I love it....

email enquiry..."I am planning a wedding for next may and will be coming to Cyprus next week and wondered if we could meet. My wedding is on 16th May up in the mountains, what would be your fee?"


Which fucking mountains???? noooo: Where are you staying to have a meeting with us? My website clearly states BASED IN PAPHOS

I get enquiries like this all the time, people really think Cyprus is all one tiny lickle village.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 14, 2015, 04:22:05 PM
Send an email back "are you being taken up the troodos?"
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on September 14, 2015, 04:36:44 PM
Send an email back "are you being taken up the troodos?"

Nick didnt send the enquiry.  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on September 14, 2015, 04:54:03 PM
lol: lol: lol: I love it....

email enquiry..."I am planning a wedding for next may and will be coming to Cyprus next week and wondered if we could meet. My wedding is on 16th May up in the mountains, what would be your fee?"


Which fucking mountains???? noooo: Where are you staying to have a meeting with us? My website clearly states BASED IN PAPHOS

I get enquiries like this all the time, people really think Cyprus is all one tiny lickle village.  noooo:
Well some say it has the economy of one  ;)

Have to say I've seen dumber emails.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on October 30, 2015, 09:31:44 AM
text comes in ..

Tonight's 5 hour gig is now 3 hours

Ok (not happy) what time .????

Well 3 hours ...

Yes but which fvcking 3 hours...


We will get back to you...

 Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2015, 09:33:47 AM
text comes in ..

Tonight's 5 hour gig is now 3 hours

Ok (not happy) what time .????

Well 3 hours ...

Yes but which fvcking 3 hours...


We will get back to you...

 Banghead

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on October 30, 2015, 11:35:55 AM
text comes in ..

Tonight's 5 hour gig is now 3 hours

Ok (not happy) what time .????

Well 3 hours ...

Yes but which fvcking 3 hours...


We will get back to you...

 Banghead
You did tell them the price is the same didn't you?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2015, 12:06:38 PM
text comes in ..

Tonight's 5 hour gig is now 3 hours

Ok (not happy) what time .????

Well 3 hours ...

Yes but which fvcking 3 hours...


We will get back to you...

 Banghead
You did tell them the price is the same didn't you?

Is the Pope...... etc
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on November 24, 2015, 06:21:06 PM
Right the nun's party is tho an agency..
I am speaking direct to nuns..

They wanted to meet up ..ok..
then they want to meet an hours drive for me ... evil:
so call agency Monday AM to explain ..

"oh no that isn't fair , leave it with us "
silence...............

I call just now to check wot's happening...

"oh they still want to meet you"

 Banghead Banghead  thanks for letting me know...

The invoice will now contain expenses....(Nick mode )
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on November 24, 2015, 06:22:47 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs22.postimg.org%2Fqp9a803a5%2FGIF_Giraffe_eating_Popcorn.jpg&hash=8fc76932f1af8443381f52d3122f8b40) (http://postimg.org/image/qp9a803a5/)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 19, 2016, 02:27:58 PM
 Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 19, 2016, 02:36:07 PM
Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead cussing:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs22.postimg.org%2Fqp9a803a5%2FGIF_Giraffe_eating_Popcorn.jpg&hash=8fc76932f1af8443381f52d3122f8b40) (http://postimg.org/image/qp9a803a5/)

 whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 19, 2016, 03:53:28 PM
Been with a bunch of academics who seemed to want to argue that black is white just to be oppositional. Banghead Banghead

Feel relieved to be in the Travelodge  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on January 19, 2016, 03:56:05 PM
Been with a bunch of academics who seemed to want to argue that black is white just to be oppositional. Banghead Banghead

Feel relieved to be in the Travelodge  noooo:

Any Muppets there - apart from you...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 19, 2016, 03:59:40 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on January 19, 2016, 06:31:53 PM
First production meeting for an over the top wedding in Italy. I have met the ultimate Bridezilla and her mother. Fortunately the technical team have all decided that she will be a never ending problem, so have retired to consume collapso. This will be a long and bloody battle.
Smiles already fixed. Invoices for advance payment presented. Let us see what happens when Uttoxeter meets Umbria
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 19, 2016, 06:41:08 PM
Italian wedding scared2: eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 19, 2016, 07:11:12 PM
First production meeting for an over the top wedding in Italy. I have met the ultimate Bridezilla and her mother. Fortunately the technical team have all decided that she will be a never ending problem, so have retired to consume collapso. This will be a long and bloody battle.
Smiles already fixed. Invoices for advance payment presented. Let us see what happens when Uttoxeter meets Umbria

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on January 21, 2016, 09:01:50 PM
An English couple who want to get married in Italy. Neither have been here before. Have no idea how it works, want about 90 guests. From oop north so thick and opionated. Have asked about pizza for the wedding breakfast. Our chef almost exploded. We also had to explain  that there are no gondolas in Umbria, nor is Mafioso a good theme for the wedding !
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 21, 2016, 09:06:30 PM
An English couple who want to get married in Italy. Neither have been here before. Have no idea how it works, want about 90 guests. From oop north so thick and opionated. Have asked about pizza for the wedding breakfast. Our chef almost exploded. We also had to explain  that there are no gondolas in Umbria, nor is Mafioso a good theme for the wedding !

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Pirate on January 21, 2016, 09:35:45 PM
An English couple who want to get married in Italy. Neither have been here before. Have no idea how it works, want about 90 guests. From oop north so thick and opionated. Have asked about pizza for the wedding breakfast. Our chef almost exploded. We also had to explain  that there are no gondolas in Umbria, nor is Mafioso a good theme for the wedding !

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Where's Misty from... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on January 21, 2016, 09:54:39 PM
An English couple who want to get married in Italy. Neither have been here before. Have no idea how it works, want about 90 guests. From oop north so thick and opionated. Have asked about pizza for the wedding breakfast. Our chef almost exploded. We also had to explain  that there are no gondolas in Umbria, nor is Mafioso a good theme for the wedding !

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
lol: lol: facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 23, 2016, 04:12:58 PM
If I give you work ...don't set up in competition with me ....and if you do, don't use your real DOB and details on your facebook page...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on January 23, 2016, 04:40:22 PM
If I give you work ...don't set up in competition with me ....and if you do, don't use your real DOB and details on your facebook page...

doh:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 23, 2016, 05:09:27 PM
If I give you work ...don't set up in competition with me ....and if you do, don't use your real DOB and details on your facebook page...

doh:

I msg "Hello XYZ"....... eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 23, 2016, 05:18:58 PM
If I give you work ...don't set up in competition with me ....and if you do, don't use your real DOB and details on your facebook page...

doh:

I msg "Hello XYZ"....... eveilgrin:

Not sure if this should be in liar thread.. rubschin:

reply was "I set it up to help you"...

 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on January 24, 2016, 07:11:51 AM
If I give you work ...don't set up in competition with me ....and if you do, don't use your real DOB and details on your facebook page...

doh:

I msg "Hello XYZ"....... eveilgrin:

Not sure if this should be in liar thread.. rubschin:

reply was "I set it up to help you"...

 noooo: noooo:

Mongs...  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 25, 2016, 05:24:35 PM
Aaaaarrrggghhh..... Angry9:   Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on January 25, 2016, 06:26:40 PM
All time truck driver Mongery. "I'm in Leeds and I can't find the castle"
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2016, 06:27:52 PM
 facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2016, 06:32:34 PM
All time truck driver Mongery. "I'm in Leeds and I can't find the castle"

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 25, 2016, 06:48:20 PM
All time truck driver Mongery. "I'm in Leeds and I can't find the castle"

Even Nick found it ...... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2016, 06:51:35 PM
All time truck driver Mongery. "I'm in Leeds and I can't find the castle"

Even Nick found it ...... whistle:

I know!  eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2016, 06:52:52 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on January 25, 2016, 09:35:45 PM
All time truck driver Mongery. "I'm in Leeds and I can't find the castle"

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on February 01, 2016, 12:11:53 PM
And it continues ..... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on February 01, 2016, 10:44:58 PM
And it continues ..... noooo:
Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on February 07, 2016, 04:13:18 PM
LL has promised to produce some rainbow sticker chart thing for the grandchild...

So, I walk into her office and she has downloaded a picture of a rainbow from t'interwebs and is colouring it in...

BM: Why are you colouring that in...?  rubschin:
LL: Because the printer is black and white... ::)
BM: Why didn't you print it on the colour printer...?  rubschin:
LL:  redface:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on February 07, 2016, 04:41:46 PM
LL has promised to produce some rainbow sticker chart thing for the grandchild...

So, I walk into her office and she has downloaded a picture of a rainbow from t'interwebs and is colouring it in...

BM: Why are you colouring that in...?  rubschin:
LL: Because the printer is black and white... ::)
BM: Why didn't you print it on the colour printer...?  rubschin:
LL:  redface:

 noooo:

YOUR chart you mean..... point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on February 07, 2016, 04:43:07 PM
LL has promised to produce some rainbow sticker chart thing for the grandchild...

So, I walk into her office and she has downloaded a picture of a rainbow from t'interwebs and is colouring it in...

BM: Why are you colouring that in...?  rubschin:
LL: Because the printer is black and white... ::)
BM: Why didn't you print it on the colour printer...?  rubschin:
LL:  redface:

 noooo:

YOUR chart you mean..... point:

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on February 07, 2016, 04:57:38 PM
LL has promised to produce some rainbow sticker chart thing for the grandchild...

So, I walk into her office and she has downloaded a picture of a rainbow from t'interwebs and is colouring it in...

BM: Why are you colouring that in...?  rubschin:
LL: Because the printer is black and white... ::)
BM: Why didn't you print it on the colour printer...?  rubschin:
LL:  redface:

 noooo:

YOUR chart you mean..... point:

 evil:

Did you use your crayons...... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on February 07, 2016, 05:05:19 PM
LL has promised to produce some rainbow sticker chart thing for the grandchild...

So, I walk into her office and she has downloaded a picture of a rainbow from t'interwebs and is colouring it in...

BM: Why are you colouring that in...?  rubschin:
LL: Because the printer is black and white... ::)
BM: Why didn't you print it on the colour printer...?  rubschin:
LL:  redface:

 noooo:

YOUR chart you mean..... point:

 evil:

Did you use your crayons...... noooo:

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on February 17, 2016, 09:27:20 AM
Don't send me "change of date " e-mail when you haven't sent the original date ... Banghead

20 mins wasted..... evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on February 29, 2016, 02:56:45 PM
Contact a company your bride xyz is asking for a quote for a Dj..........



call comes back ...yes you are booked for bride xyz at "abc hotel" ...


Thank you but she is getting married at "efg hotel" ....... Banghead

there reply was "really??".......... cussing: cussing: cussing:




where is that beer thread.......... rubschin:


Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on February 29, 2016, 07:49:13 PM
Contact a company your bride xyz is asking for a quote for a Dj..........



call comes back ...yes you are booked for bride xyz at "abc hotel" ...


Thank you but she is getting married at "efg hotel" ....... Banghead

there reply was "really??".......... cussing: cussing: cussing:




where is that beer thread.......... rubschin:
She could be one of those Bigger Mist types?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 02, 2016, 10:22:48 AM
OK, now Northern Bridezilla wants all the guests to travel the last kilometre in horsedrawn carts. No problem. But she also wants:
1. A golden coach "like Cinderellas" for herself. They are pretty rare in Central Italy
2. A guarantee that none of the horse will poo at any point in the process
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 02, 2016, 03:20:32 PM
OK, now Northern Bridezilla wants all the guests to travel the last kilometre in horsedrawn carts. No problem. But she also wants:
1. A golden coach "like Cinderellas" for herself. They are pretty rare in Central Italy
2. A guarantee that none of the horse will poo at any point in the process


 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on March 02, 2016, 05:56:06 PM
OK, now Northern Bridezilla wants all the guests to travel the last kilometre in horsedrawn carts. No problem. But she also wants:
1. A golden coach "like Cinderellas" for herself. They are pretty rare in Central Italy
2. A guarantee that none of the horse will poo at any point in the process


 noooo:
noooo: noooo:

Tell the groom to escape from the madness before it's too late
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2016, 03:24:12 PM
From another forum...

Quote
I read an article about cleaning laptops using a small aerosol of compressed air
has anyone any idea where I can purchase one of these,
many thanks garry

*** many replies suggesting different computer shops ***

Quote
Thanks very much for the swift replies
I never thought of computer stores
garry

 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 03, 2016, 04:32:48 PM
From another forum...

Quote
I read an article about cleaning laptops using a small aerosol of compressed air
has anyone any idea where I can purchase one of these,
many thanks garry

*** many replies suggesting different computer shops ***

Quote
Thanks very much for the swift replies
I never thought of computer stores
garry

 noooo:


 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 08, 2016, 10:15:25 PM
As much as I want work ..when a competitor double-books (fvcks up ) yes I can cover it ..but tell me first before the bride msgs me .... cussing: Banghead Banghead   Blagged it but ....... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 22, 2016, 09:58:10 PM
Northern monkey stag party recce starts tomorrow. A local wag has suggested dropping them off on the side of the road outside town. Most evenings a few of the local hookers are there, doing business with Rumanian truck drivers.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 22, 2016, 10:19:54 PM
Northern monkey stag party recce starts tomorrow. A local wag has suggested dropping them off on the side of the road outside town. Most evenings a few of the local hookers are there, doing business with Rumanian truck drivers.

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 29, 2016, 09:17:26 AM
Just put the northern monkeys on a plane home. Well the carabinieri did, I was just there as translator. Details later.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2016, 09:22:04 AM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on March 29, 2016, 09:24:21 AM
Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 29, 2016, 02:03:23 PM
Where do I start ? I didn't want to get involved so I gave them a list of places to visit (all a sensible distance away)  and sent them off. Within hours they were calling to say that no-one understood what they were saying, they couldn't find the only Macdonalds within 50 miles, and they couldn't get a cheap pint of lager. Apparently it costs half as much in their local Wetherspoons, and being real men they don't drink wine

Sorted that and told them I  would be out of reach for a day or two. When I got back Sunday Evening and stopped at Bar Tinca for an aperitivo I found out they had been banged up for various offenses. On Friday they got thrown out of the only dodgy club for miles, tried to start a fight outside, couldn't get a taxi to bring them back to the village and finally got the 7.00 am bus back. They were rude to the driver (still drunk)), so he called the local police who got them off the bus and made them walk the last 3 miles- it's very uphill.
Being northern monkeys they didn't take the hint and started drinking again after a short break for clean underwear. Insulting the Catholic Church during Easter weekend didn't go down well and trying to buy the favours of some of the local women was probably the last straw. This time the Carab's had had enough and went in heavy. The five of them were thrown in the cell "for their own safety", Passports confiscated, bruises collected. I had to act as interpreter and they started to have a go at me. I walked away and left them to stew. We got them on the plane this morning, complete with official escort.

I'm off to an interesting meeting now. The Hotel they had booked doesn't want them, the local priest won't marry them and the wedding caterer's have pretty much doubled their quote. And Mirko the mayor will be telling them officially they aren't welcome back, but we will be keeping their deposit to cover fines and costs.

And Mirko also asked me to mark their home town on a map of the UK. I'm going to draw the usual line from the severn estuary to the wash to mark where civilisation ends.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2016, 02:07:23 PM
 :thumbsup: razz: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2016, 02:07:38 PM
Where do I start ? I didn't want to get involved so I gave them a list of places to visit (all a sensible distance away)  and sent them off. Within hours they were calling to say that no-one understood what they were saying, they couldn't find the only Macdonalds within 50 miles, and they couldn't get a cheap pint of lager. Apparently it costs half as much in their local Wetherspoons, and being real men they don't drink wine

Sorted that and told them I  would be out of reach for a day or two. When I got back Sunday Evening and stopped at Bar Tinca for an aperitivo I found out they had been banged up for various offenses. On Friday they got thrown out of the only dodgy club for miles, tried to start a fight outside, couldn't get a taxi to bring them back to the village and finally got the 7.00 am bus back. They were rude to the driver (still drunk)), so he called the local police who got them off the bus and made them walk the last 3 miles- it's very uphill.
Being northern monkeys they didn't take the hint and started drinking again after a short break for clean underwear. Insulting the Catholic Church during Easter weekend didn't go down well and trying to buy the favours of some of the local women was probably the last straw. This time the Carab's had had enough and went in heavy. The five of them were thrown in the cell "for their own safety", Passports confiscated, bruises collected. I had to act as interpreter and they started to have a go at me. I walked away and left them to stew. We got them on the plane this morning, complete with official escort.

I'm off to an interesting meeting now. The Hotel they had booked doesn't want them, the local priest won't marry them and the wedding caterer's have pretty much doubled their quote. And Mirko the mayor will be telling them officially they aren't welcome back, but we will be keeping their deposit to cover fines and costs.

And Mirko also asked me to mark their home town on a map of the UK. I'm going to draw the usual line from the severn estuary to the wash to mark where civilisation ends.

Excellent!  lol:

Apart from the ridiculous bit about clean underwear... ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on March 29, 2016, 04:39:12 PM
Where do I start ? I didn't want to get involved so I gave them a list of places to visit (all a sensible distance away)  and sent them off. Within hours they were calling to say that no-one understood what they were saying, they couldn't find the only Macdonalds within 50 miles, and they couldn't get a cheap pint of lager. Apparently it costs half as much in their local Wetherspoons, and being real men they don't drink wine

Sorted that and told them I  would be out of reach for a day or two. When I got back Sunday Evening and stopped at Bar Tinca for an aperitivo I found out they had been banged up for various offenses. On Friday they got thrown out of the only dodgy club for miles, tried to start a fight outside, couldn't get a taxi to bring them back to the village and finally got the 7.00 am bus back. They were rude to the driver (still drunk)), so he called the local police who got them off the bus and made them walk the last 3 miles- it's very uphill.
Being northern monkeys they didn't take the hint and started drinking again after a short break for clean underwear. Insulting the Catholic Church during Easter weekend didn't go down well and trying to buy the favours of some of the local women was probably the last straw. This time the Carab's had had enough and went in heavy. The five of them were thrown in the cell "for their own safety", Passports confiscated, bruises collected. I had to act as interpreter and they started to have a go at me. I walked away and left them to stew. We got them on the plane this morning, complete with official escort.

I'm off to an interesting meeting now. The Hotel they had booked doesn't want them, the local priest won't marry them and the wedding caterer's have pretty much doubled their quote. And Mirko the mayor will be telling them officially they aren't welcome back, but we will be keeping their deposit to cover fines and costs.

And Mirko also asked me to mark their home town on a map of the UK. I'm going to draw the usual line from the severn estuary to the wash to mark where civilisation ends.

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on March 29, 2016, 04:56:13 PM
Where do I start ? I didn't want to get involved so I gave them a list of places to visit (all a sensible distance away)  and sent them off. Within hours they were calling to say that no-one understood what they were saying, they couldn't find the only Macdonalds within 50 miles, and they couldn't get a cheap pint of lager. Apparently it costs half as much in their local Wetherspoons, and being real men they don't drink wine

Sorted that and told them I  would be out of reach for a day or two. When I got back Sunday Evening and stopped at Bar Tinca for an aperitivo I found out they had been banged up for various offenses. On Friday they got thrown out of the only dodgy club for miles, tried to start a fight outside, couldn't get a taxi to bring them back to the village and finally got the 7.00 am bus back. They were rude to the driver (still drunk)), so he called the local police who got them off the bus and made them walk the last 3 miles- it's very uphill.
Being northern monkeys they didn't take the hint and started drinking again after a short break for clean underwear. Insulting the Catholic Church during Easter weekend didn't go down well and trying to buy the favours of some of the local women was probably the last straw. This time the Carab's had had enough and went in heavy. The five of them were thrown in the cell "for their own safety", Passports confiscated, bruises collected. I had to act as interpreter and they started to have a go at me. I walked away and left them to stew. We got them on the plane this morning, complete with official escort.

I'm off to an interesting meeting now. The Hotel they had booked doesn't want them, the local priest won't marry them and the wedding caterer's have pretty much doubled their quote. And Mirko the mayor will be telling them officially they aren't welcome back, but we will be keeping their deposit to cover fines and costs.

And Mirko also asked me to mark their home town on a map of the UK. I'm going to draw the usual line from the severn estuary to the wash to mark where civilisation ends.

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
I'm going for  noooo: noooo: noooo:  more shame loaded on the UK

You have to be a prize cunt not to enjoy and be welcomed in Italy but yet again areas of Britain have bred just such uber cunts, somehow the bastards got passports and went to the right airport on time.

People moan about all sorts of Ethnics and Asian and Yank tourists but in my experience nothing ever seems to be as bad as tattooed Brit Chav on tour

Send them on a one way trip to Raqqa.

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2016, 04:57:25 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 29, 2016, 05:29:14 PM
Update: Cleaning up their hotel rooms has a revealed few empty grappa bottles and an obvious lack of prior knowledge of the function of a bidet.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2016, 05:30:26 PM
Manchester or Liverpool?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on March 29, 2016, 06:19:46 PM
Nick, an impressive bit of socio-anthropological deduction. They are from the Preston area.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on March 29, 2016, 06:21:18 PM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on April 01, 2016, 08:16:44 AM
POSTSCRIPT:  The Wedding is off.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2016, 08:28:33 AM
POSTSCRIPT:  The Wedding is off.

happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 01, 2016, 09:24:39 AM
POSTSCRIPT:  The Wedding is off.

Gutted - was looking forward to hearing all about it  lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Pirate on April 01, 2016, 10:02:07 AM
POSTSCRIPT:  The Wedding is off.

They must be going to Cyprus now...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 01, 2016, 11:33:31 AM
POSTSCRIPT:  The Wedding is off.

They must be going to Cyprus now...

 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on April 02, 2016, 01:18:54 PM
Further afield actually. Smart move by Bridezilla, as most of the miscreants won't b able to afford the air fare. Bridezilla's mum was on the phone yesterday apologizing and blaming it all on the best man.

I did suggest Cyprus, but apparently not posh enough !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on April 02, 2016, 01:36:05 PM
Further afield actually. Smart move by Bridezilla, as most of the miscreants won't b able to afford the air fare. Bridezilla's mum was on the phone yesterday apologizing and blaming it all on the best man.

I did suggest Cyprus, but apparently not posh enough !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Pirate on April 02, 2016, 01:43:55 PM
The east side of the island is posher...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: miss Tchevious on April 23, 2016, 02:48:25 PM
Apey puts the daily exchange rate on the wedding forums for the uk brides.......questions in the last five mins since posting.

Apey - rate today is 1.00 GBP =1.28304 euro

brides...
"is this the Cyprus rate?"
"Is it going to go up or down?"
"Is this the rate all over Cyprus? if not which area?"

 facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2016, 05:41:14 PM
So I send a Dj to a wedding today ....he has venue and bride n groom names .... Thumbs:


He sets up and starts .... Thumbs:


After an hour the wedding planner comes up to him and asks what is he doing there ??/

She claims she never booked a DJ.... cussing:


How the Fvck would I know she had a wedding at xyz venue and their names if you didn't book me ... cussing: cussing: cussing:


More to follow.... noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on June 22, 2016, 05:43:01 PM
Maybe it's the heat affecting their brains whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 01, 2016, 03:12:10 PM
Next week (or is it this week?) I am speaking at an conference in London. Twice. On two different subjects.

Both presentations are being done with other people.

One of these people I have never met eeek: However phone and e mail comms have been excellent and we knocked our stuff into shape in minutes. :thumbsup:

The other is with the most cantankerous, contrarian, idiotic git who I have known for about 10 years. Every comma and dot has been fought over for hours and it has taken us WEEKS to agree on all the details. We signed it off yesterday.  Banghead

He  has just called and told me that he is pulling out as he can't be arsed to go  cussing: cussing: cussing:

I now have to revise the whole fvcking thing to get it back to how I wanted it in the first place. Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 02, 2016, 12:26:17 PM
Next week (or is it this week?) I am speaking at an conference in London. Twice. On two different subjects.

Both presentations are being done with other people.

One of these people I have never met eeek: However phone and e mail comms have been excellent and we knocked our stuff into shape in minutes. :thumbsup:

The other is with the most cantankerous, contrarian, idiotic git who I have known for about 10 years. Every comma and dot has been fought over for hours and it has taken us WEEKS to agree on all the details. We signed it off yesterday.  Banghead

He  has just called and told me that he is pulling out as he can't be arsed to go  cussing: cussing: cussing:

I now have to revise the whole fvcking thing to get it back to how I wanted it in the first place. Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Add an unfortunate misspelling of his name then and announce that he couldn't be there as he had a pressing appointment at the clinic  confused:.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2016, 03:40:11 PM
He is actually going to the BBC as he is trying to win Counterpoint  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 02, 2016, 05:01:20 PM
He is actually going to the BBC as he is trying to win Counterpoint  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
I'm sure both listeners will say he made the right choice
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: beerhead on July 24, 2016, 07:43:19 AM
A new wedding project has arrived on my desk. A week long bash next July. "Will it be as hot as th UK" Hotter Pal, hotter.

I will keep all informed. Initial meeting in the UK next week.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 24, 2016, 02:51:18 PM
A new wedding project has arrived on my desk. A week long bash next July. "Will it be as hot as th UK" Hotter Pal, hotter.

I will keep all informed. Initial meeting in the UK next week.

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 24, 2016, 05:38:44 PM
Miss D and the East Ender?
Title: Dealing with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2016, 07:32:56 AM
Went to the post office yesterday to send some (wrongly ordered  redface:) parts back to Amazon...

Pafos post office is normally super fast quick as they have a single queue system whereas Limassol has multiple queues and: -

a) I always choose the wrong (slowest) queue.
b) Slipriots always push in at the front as the person serving is inevitably related to them.

Anyhoo...

There were only two desks open for 'postal services'... lots of other staff milling around but they are obviously not qualified weigh a parcel and stick a label on it...

One desk is blocked by a Cypriot woman sending three parcels by Datapost. It should be simple but she hasn't packed the parcels very well. Two of them look like bicycle saddles with a bit of bubble wrap around them and the third is a huge, heavy creaking cardboard box which is unlikely to survive the journey from desk to scales - never mind actually going through the postal system. The woman makes clear that the top of the box is very close to the contents and any pressure on the top of the box will break the contents - a 'Fragile' sticker is placed on the top of the box.

This is all discussed in great detail  and involves the woman going outside to her car (gets purse, etc.)...

Meanwhile on the (very attractive  eyes:) assistant is serving an English woman that wants to send a parcel by Datapost - she hasn't filled in the Datapost form so the (very attractive  eyes:) assistant is doing it for her...

VAA: What is in the box?
EW: An IPTV box
VAA: ??? I. P. T. V. Box...
VAA: Does it have any batteries in it?
EW: I don't know, it is an IPTV Box
VAA: I have no idea what an IPTV is but I need to know if it has batteries...?
EW: Well, yes, I suppose so - it is an IPTV Box!
VAA: Well then it can't be sent - we can't send it if it has batteries!
EW: It is an IPTV Box!

etc. ::)

Eventually, VAA agreed to send it and took the money - well, she took the money and prolly chucked the box in the bin or marked it 'don't send, contains batteries' or boot stomping practice - Gatwick' or some such...

Meanwhile Cypriot woman is still discussing her parcels and the danger of damage to the top of the box and the queue stretches out towards the door - I am next but one.

Next is an English couple... facepalm:

He wants to send/do/receive something that requires ID. He pulls out a battered passport which he probably took over the top with him at Mons...

VAA: Sorry, this passport has expired - I cannot accept it as ID.
EC: Produce another passport
VAA: Sorry, this has expired too.
EC: Produce some other form of ID...
VAA: Sorry, this doesn't have an expiry date on it. Valid ID must have an issued from and a valid to date.
EC: Producing some more tattered paperwork, "This is not good enough!"  eeek:
VAA: Sorry, but I don't make the rules - If you would like to speak to my manager I will get him but ID has to have the two dates...

So the manager arrived and they started shouting at him, "I'm going to get very angry in a minute," etc.

They were still at it when Parcel lady finished, I send my package registered and left... They could still be at it now...  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 27, 2016, 07:37:02 AM
 cloud9:
The joys of third world countries.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2016, 07:47:38 AM
cloud9:
The joys of third world countries.

I expect you have a man to go to the post office Mr. Darwin Sir...?
Title: Re: Dealing with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 27, 2016, 09:08:11 AM
Went to the post office yesterday to send some (wrongly ordered  redface:) parts back to Amazon...

Pafos post office is normally super fast quick as they have a single queue system whereas Limassol has multiple queues and: -

a) I always choose the wrong (slowest) queue.
b) Slipriots always push in at the front as the person serving is inevitably related to them.

Anyhoo...

There were only two desks open for 'postal services'... lots of other staff milling around but they are obviously not qualified weigh a parcel and stick a label on it...

One desk is blocked by a Cypriot woman sending three parcels by Datapost. It should be simple but she hasn't packed the parcels very well. Two of them look like bicycle saddles with a bit of bubble wrap around them and the third is a huge, heavy creaking cardboard box which is unlikely to survive the journey from desk to scales - never mind actually going through the postal system. The woman makes clear that the top of the box is very close to the contents and any pressure on the top of the box will break the contents - a 'Fragile' sticker is placed on the top of the box.

This is all discussed in great detail  and involves the woman going outside to her car (gets purse, etc.)...

Meanwhile on the (very attractive  eyes:) assistant is serving an English woman that wants to send a parcel by Datapost - she hasn't filled in the Datapost form so the (very attractive  eyes:) assistant is doing it for her...

VAA: What is in the box?
EW: An IPTV box
VAA: ??? I. P. T. V. Box...
VAA: Does it have any batteries in it?
EW: I don't know, it is an IPTV Box
VAA: I have no idea what an IPTV is but I need to know if it has batteries...?
EW: Well, yes, I suppose so - it is an IPTV Box!
VAA: Well then it can't be sent - we can't send it if it has batteries!
EW: It is an IPTV Box!

etc. ::)

Eventually, VAA agreed to send it and took the money - well, she took the money and prolly chucked the box in the bin or marked it 'don't send, contains batteries' or boot stomping practice - Gatwick' or some such...

Meanwhile Cypriot woman is still discussing her parcels and the danger of damage to the top of the box and the queue stretches out towards the door - I am next but one.

Next is an English couple... facepalm:

He wants to send/do/receive something that requires ID. He pulls out a battered passport which he probably took over the top with him at Mons...

VAA: Sorry, this passport has expired - I cannot accept it as ID.
EC: Produce another passport
VAA: Sorry, this has expired too.
EC: Produce some other form of ID...
VAA: Sorry, this doesn't have an expiry date on it. Valid ID must have an issued from and a valid to date.
EC: Producing some more tattered paperwork, "This is not good enough!"  eeek:
VAA: Sorry, but I don't make the rules - If you would like to speak to my manager I will get him but ID has to have the two dates...

So the manager arrived and they started shouting at him, "I'm going to get very angry in a minute," etc.

They were still at it when Parcel lady finished, I send my package registered and left... They could still be at it now...  noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 27, 2016, 09:35:47 AM
cloud9:
The joys of third world countries.

I expect you have a man to go to the post office Mr. Darwin Sir...?

Our outgoing post is collected I think.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on July 27, 2016, 09:49:31 AM
 worthy:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 27, 2016, 09:59:53 AM
cloud9:
The joys of third world countries.

I expect you have a man to go to the post office Mr. Darwin Sir...?

Our outgoing post is collected I think.

And those generous EU farming subsidies paid directly into your account in Panama...?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 27, 2016, 11:37:41 AM
cloud9:
The joys of third world countries.

I expect you have a man to go to the post office Mr. Darwin Sir...?

Our outgoing post is collected I think.

And those generous EU farming subsidies paid directly into your account in Panama...?

Define "directly" ?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2016, 12:47:13 PM
Just had a call....can you provide a Dj for tonight ...(good money)....I am far too hung over ,,,,for a 5 star hotel ..plus got the busiest week of the year ,,,,,,



called 7 Djs ..not 1 answered their phone... cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2016, 01:16:36 PM
Just had a call....can you provide a Dj for tonight ...(good money)....I am far too hung over ,,,,for a 5 star hotel ..plus got the busiest week of the year ,,,,,,



called 7 Djs ..not 1 answered their phone... cussing:

No I found one the hotel has cancelled......... Banghead Angry9: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 31, 2016, 01:30:59 PM
Just had a call....can you provide a Dj for tonight ...(good money)....I am far too hung over ,,,,for a 5 star hotel ..plus got the busiest week of the year ,,,,,,



called 7 Djs ..not 1 answered their phone... cussing:

No I found one the hotel has cancelled......... Banghead Angry9: cussing:

Oh woes  noooo: 
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 31, 2016, 01:46:36 PM
Just had a call....can you provide a Dj for tonight ...(good money)....I am far too hung over ,,,,for a 5 star hotel ..plus got the busiest week of the year ,,,,,,



called 7 Djs ..not 1 answered their phone... cussing:

No I found one the hotel has cancelled......... Banghead Angry9: cussing:

pathead:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 31, 2016, 11:16:11 PM
Just had a call....can you provide a Dj for tonight ...(good money)....I am far too hung over ,,,,for a 5 star hotel ..plus got the busiest week of the year ,,,,,,



called 7 Djs ..not 1 answered their phone... cussing:

No I found one the hotel has cancelled......... Banghead Angry9: cussing:

pathead:

Alcohol helped ...(it was free  whistle: )...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 24, 2016, 10:01:32 AM
I fvcking give up........ noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2016, 11:52:08 AM
I fvcking give up........ noooo:

Popcorn:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 24, 2016, 01:49:56 PM
I fvcking give up........ noooo:

Popcorn:

Full report at weekend ...got 12 weddings Thurs/Fri ......... surrender:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2016, 02:04:15 PM
1. Pay in cheque for £1600. Bank credits my account with £16  cussing: cussing:
2. Talk Talk are going to suffer badly for this  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
3. Tim the Builder, can he fix it? Tim the Builder, no he can't  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 24, 2016, 09:55:51 PM
1. Pay in cheque for £1600. Bank credits my account with £16  cussing: cussing:
2. Talk Talk are going to suffer badly for this  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
3. Tim the Builder, can he fix it? Tim the Builder, no he can't  cussing: cussing: cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chipshopawards.com%2Finclude%2Fimage.php%2Fnom_1465_p1_cf255.jpg%3Fheight%3D550%26amp%3Bwidth%3D680%26amp%3Bimage%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.chipshopawards.com%2Fimages%2Fnominations%2Fnom_1465_p1_cf255.jpg&hash=13b92f8afb1b0133f2050bda87d68930)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on August 31, 2016, 08:55:37 PM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 31, 2016, 09:00:14 PM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:
Turntable Futures.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 31, 2016, 09:13:15 PM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:
:thumbsup:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Pirate on August 31, 2016, 09:55:06 PM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:

Then I woke up...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 31, 2016, 11:30:30 PM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:

Then I woke up...
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on September 01, 2016, 05:16:57 AM
Today I shall be talking to a very dim Welsh woman. noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on September 01, 2016, 06:14:43 AM
Well all new levels ..........working last night (direct booking with bride ) the company head honco turns up (who I do work for a bit )   so expect a telling off ... scared2:


"so glad we booked you "...... eeek:


then offers me a contract for next year ......... eeek: eeek:
Turntable Futures.  :thumbsup:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 11, 2016, 08:15:09 PM
Quote
FOR SALE:
CLASSIC AUSTIN MINI, 1982, IN GOOD CONDITION , NEEDS SOME TLC, NEW MOT SINCE 5/2016, FULL YEAR ROAD TAX, GOOD TYRES, GOOD PAINT.
FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CONTACT 99399601 .
THE PRICE IS FINAL AND NON NEGOTIABLE.

Just one teeny-tiny detail missing here... ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 12, 2016, 06:09:17 AM
 rubschin:

Perhaps if you have to ask you can't afford it.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 12, 2016, 06:35:08 AM
rubschin:

Perhaps if you have to ask you can't afford it.

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on October 12, 2016, 08:43:07 AM
rubschin:

Perhaps if you have to ask you can't afford it.
lol: lol: lol:

"CLASSIC AUSTIN MINI, 1982" 1982 a classic?   noooo:

By 1982 British Leyland had totally re-engineered the concept of the Friday afternoon car to be an all week effect
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 13, 2016, 06:22:42 AM
It's old enough to be a classic but I doubt a 1982 Mini can be considered such.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on January 23, 2017, 10:34:40 PM
Proper piss-boiling................in the last 3 days ..on facearse ..I got told by brides that I was their Dj.....I didn't know...... cussing:  coz the planners/hotels have not told me ...

Makes me look unprofessional due to no fault of my own .......cannot throw them under the bus due to the amount of work I get from them ........ evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 04, 2017, 10:02:50 AM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 06, 2017, 04:01:07 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead

Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 04:03:21 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead

Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 06, 2017, 04:07:19 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2017, 04:07:50 PM
 Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 04:48:42 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:

I have one projector ... rubschin:





And the minima you say ....... whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2017, 05:02:40 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:

I have one projector ... rubschin:





And the minima you say ....... whistle:

Mates rates!  Thumbs:

€50 per hour or part thereof...  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 05:19:58 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:

I have one projector ... rubschin:





And the minima you say ....... whistle:

Mates rates!  Thumbs:

€50 per hour or part thereof...  whistle:

 eeek:    Shocked:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 06, 2017, 06:07:39 PM
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:

I have one projector ... rubschin:





And the minima you say ....... whistle:
E-mail comes in ..."Monday's wedding at abc HAS to be Apey"


Problem is your previous e-mail " Monday's wedding at xyz Has to be Apey " ...

 Banghead


Livestream one to the other, problems solved as long as you don't use names.  Thumbs:


 rubschin:

Cinema's use the same technique to show live events from all over the world, get cameras and projectors and as long as you have someone set up for you, you wouldn't even need to leave the house.  Thumbs:

I have one projector ... rubschin:





And the minima you say ....... whistle:

If you are going to use a screen that size you may as well just send it to their mobiles...  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on May 06, 2017, 06:38:57 PM
 ;D

I'd swear there was an echo in here


cho in here

ere
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 07:16:44 PM
I'd swear there was an echo in here


cho in here

ere
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2017, 08:08:15 PM
Bastards!  cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 08:13:19 PM
Bastards!  cussing:

B A S T A R D S ................ whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 06, 2017, 09:05:50 PM
Bastards!  cussing:


B A S T A R D S ................ whistle:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fclipart-library.com%2Fdata_images%2F266831.jpg&hash=166e57e177bce953f0358803c2bdbdad)

There's that echo again, is this what it's like in BM's bucket?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on May 06, 2017, 09:10:11 PM
Bastards!  cussing:


B A S T A R D S ................ whistle:


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fclipart-library.com%2Fdata_images%2F266831.jpg&hash=166e57e177bce953f0358803c2bdbdad[/url])

There's that echo again, is this what it's like in BM's bucket?


TMJs ........
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 22, 2017, 08:36:49 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 22, 2017, 08:51:50 AM
 lol:

The Irish will be outraged if there is another claim on the great and devastating potato famine  lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 22, 2017, 09:48:31 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
happy001

Would I be unkind if I got the impression the average Cypriot couldn't run a bath?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 22, 2017, 10:21:36 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
happy001

Would I be unkind if I got the impression the average Cypriot couldn't run a bath?

Expat...  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 22, 2017, 10:29:03 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
happy001

Would I be unkind if I got the impression the average Cypriot couldn't run a bath?

Expat...  noooo:

Ah the old 'every time someone leaves the UK for Cyprus the average IQ of both goes up' adage

(VP smuggers excepted of course)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on July 22, 2017, 10:42:14 AM
A discussion with the guy fitting the all new custom designed bedroom furniture

Me: "Those bedside cabinets, why don't they move?"

Him: "They're fixed to the wall and the new unit next to it"

Me: "but then we can't get to the all new plug sockets we had put in or use the custom designed recess in the back of the units"

Him" I did ask but Wayne (his boss) said to do it that way."

 Banghead

(This is the same Wayne that asked me idiot obvious questions about coving and skirting boards but couldn't be arsed on this)

Me: "can we get them made movable?"

Him "yes but it'll leave holes where I screwed them to your new wardrobes"

 cussing: cussing: cussing:

Phone calls to the real boss ensue.  This is going to be fun but sadly we don't get to watch when real boss next sees Wayne as it could get expensive - for them.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on July 23, 2017, 12:13:31 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:

He is MY mate ....... evil:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on July 23, 2017, 07:29:22 AM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:

He is MY mate ....... evil:

Of course, of course... ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 04, 2017, 01:51:27 PM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
happy001

Would I be unkind if I got the impression the average Cypriot couldn't run a bath?

Expat...  noooo:

Ah the old 'every time someone leaves the UK for Cyprus the average IQ of both goes up' adage

(VP smuggers excepted of course)

Are you suggesting that when the smuggers left for Cyprus only the UK average IQ went up.....  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 04, 2017, 10:59:30 PM
So, the new fish and chip shop re-opens after months closed for no apparent reason...

A week later it is closed again 'because all the fryers packed up'... ::)

Then it re-opened after a week of 'repairs' but on a couple of odd days, it has been closed in the evening for no apparent reason...

Last week, my mate Brian decides to give it a try... he runs a successful Vietnamese catering business so knows a bit about food and stuff...

Quote from: Brian Waters
Booked The Plaice last night for 8 pm to be told when we sat down ,no chips left only frozen! Anyone can make a mistake we thought ,so phoned early today and booked again ,asking staff this time will there be real chips with our real fish ? and was reassured there would be as they were same embarassed staff as last night .

Sat down at the appointed booking time tonight 8 pm to be told no chips left only frozen!

I am a local resident, what do the tourists think? Good bye Mr Plaice not good enough!

facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm: facepalm:

Admittedly, he missed a trick there and should have posted, "Goodbye Mr. Chips"...  whistle:
happy001

Would I be unkind if I got the impression the average Cypriot couldn't run a bath?

Expat...  noooo:

Ah the old 'every time someone leaves the UK for Cyprus the average IQ of both goes up' adage

(VP smuggers excepted of course)

Are you suggesting that when the smuggers left for Cyprus only the UK average IQ went up.....  whistle:
angel1
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2017, 09:44:52 PM
Quote
Dear Friend,

This mail may be a surprise to you because you did not give me the
permission to do so and neither do you know me but before I tell you
about myself I want you to please forgive me for sending this mail
without your permission. I am writing this letter in confidence
believing that if it is the will of God for you to help me and my
family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. I need an
honest and trust worthy person like you to entrust this huge transfer
project unto.

My name is Mr.john Christopher, The Branch Manager of a Financial
Institution. I got your contact through a reliable source called
database through Ghana chambers of commerce. I am a Ghanaian married
with 3 kids. I am writing to solicit your assistance in the transfer
of US$7,500,000.00 Dollars. This fund is the excess of what my branch
in which I am the manager made as profit last year (i.e. 2014
financial year).
I have already submitted an annual report for that
year to my head office in Accra-Ghana as I have watched with keen
interest as they will never know of this excess. I have since, placed
this amount of US$7,500,000.00 Dollars on an Escrow Coded account
without a beneficiary (Anonymous) to avoid trace.

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this
money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive
this money into your bank account on my behalf. I agree that 45% of
this money will be for you as a foreign partner, in respect to the
provision of a foreign account, and 55% would be for me. I do need to
stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It's going
to be a bank-to-bank transfer. All I need from you is to stand as the
original depositor of this fund so that the fund can be transferred to
your account.

If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response to
me. This is why and only reason why I contacted you, I am willing to
go into partnership investment with you owing to your wealth of
experience, So please if you are interested to assist on this venture
kindly contact me back for a brief discussion on how to proceed.

Your Telephone number ..................
Your Occupation .........................
Your Nationality ........................
Your Age ....................................

Best regards,

Mr.John Christopher

FFS at least update the thing before sending... ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on August 24, 2017, 10:20:12 PM
Quote
Dear Friend,

This mail may be a surprise to you because you did not give me the
permission to do so and neither do you know me but before I tell you
about myself I want you to please forgive me for sending this mail
without your permission. I am writing this letter in confidence
believing that if it is the will of God for you to help me and my
family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. I need an
honest and trust worthy person like you to entrust this huge transfer
project unto.

My name is Mr.john Christopher, The Branch Manager of a Financial
Institution. I got your contact through a reliable source called
database through Ghana chambers of commerce. I am a Ghanaian married
with 3 kids. I am writing to solicit your assistance in the transfer
of US$7,500,000.00 Dollars. This fund is the excess of what my branch
in which I am the manager made as profit last year (i.e. 2014
financial year).
I have already submitted an annual report for that
year to my head office in Accra-Ghana as I have watched with keen
interest as they will never know of this excess. I have since, placed
this amount of US$7,500,000.00 Dollars on an Escrow Coded account
without a beneficiary (Anonymous) to avoid trace.

As an officer of the bank, I cannot be directly connected to this
money thus I am impelled to request for your assistance to receive
this money into your bank account on my behalf. I agree that 45% of
this money will be for you as a foreign partner, in respect to the
provision of a foreign account, and 55% would be for me. I do need to
stress that there are practically no risk involved in this. It's going
to be a bank-to-bank transfer. All I need from you is to stand as the
original depositor of this fund so that the fund can be transferred to
your account.

If you accept this offer, I will appreciate your timely response to
me. This is why and only reason why I contacted you, I am willing to
go into partnership investment with you owing to your wealth of
experience, So please if you are interested to assist on this venture
kindly contact me back for a brief discussion on how to proceed.

Your Telephone number ..................
Your Occupation .........................
Your Nationality ........................
Your Age ....................................

Best regards,

Mr.John Christopher

FFS at least update the thing before sending... ::)
happy001

So so tempting to create a fake ID and wind them up.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 26, 2017, 03:59:55 PM
Solve the problem

A man in London (let us call him Sir Frank McLoughlin) is concerned that Cohort 5 of his fvcking programme with Oxford is 4 short of target. What am I doing about it?!

Cohorts 3 and 4 have a waiting list.

What would you tell his Lordship to do?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on October 26, 2017, 04:04:33 PM
Solve the problem

A man in London (let us call him Sir Frank McLoughlin) is concerned that Cohort 5 of his fvcking programme with Oxford is 4 short of target. What am I doing about it?!

Cohorts 3 and 4 have a waiting list.

What would you tell his Lordship to do?

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 26, 2017, 04:19:02 PM
Kerrrrrrrrrrrr-ching angel1

That saved him £3000  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on October 26, 2017, 04:28:40 PM
Solve the problem

A man in London (let us call him Sir Frank McLoughlin) is concerned that Cohort 5 of his fvcking programme with Oxford is 4 short of target. What am I doing about it?!

Cohorts 3 and 4 have a waiting list.

What would you tell his Lordship to do?
Get back to the Angel Islington?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 26, 2017, 10:30:11 PM
Solve the problem

A man in London (let us call him Sir Frank McLoughlin) is concerned that Cohort 5 of his fvcking programme with Oxford is 4 short of target. What am I doing about it?!

Cohorts 3 and 4 have a waiting list.

What would you tell his Lordship to do?

The answer depends on whether or not you want any more contracts from him...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 27, 2017, 08:50:56 AM
Solve the problem

A man in London (let us call him Sir Frank McLoughlin) is concerned that Cohort 5 of his fvcking programme with Oxford is 4 short of target. What am I doing about it?!

Cohorts 3 and 4 have a waiting list.

What would you tell his Lordship to do?

The answer depends on whether or not you want any more contracts from him...  rubschin:
Sage words.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2017, 08:54:40 AM
I am informed that some other lackey has now contacted the 8 people on the waiting list and filled the course. Who would have thought it? ::)
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2017, 10:42:20 AM
http://www.indy100.com/article/amanda-holden-tim-peake-moon-landing-itv-this-morning-live-tv-mistake-funny-twitter-viral-8021531 (http://www.indy100.com/article/amanda-holden-tim-peake-moon-landing-itv-this-morning-live-tv-mistake-funny-twitter-viral-8021531)

 facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on October 27, 2017, 10:51:29 AM
[url]http://www.indy100.com/article/amanda-holden-tim-peake-moon-landing-itv-this-morning-live-tv-mistake-funny-twitter-viral-8021531[/url] ([url]http://www.indy100.com/article/amanda-holden-tim-peake-moon-landing-itv-this-morning-live-tv-mistake-funny-twitter-viral-8021531[/url])

 facepalm:

 lol: lol: lol:

But lets be honest, it's never been her brain that we've admired about her  eyes:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2017, 11:16:37 AM
The local monthly rag has a long article about Nottingham's WW1 fighter ace, Albert Ball VC. He is described throughout as a jet fighter pilot  facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on October 27, 2017, 11:28:22 AM
The local monthly rag has a long article about Nottingham's WW1 fighter ace, Albert Ball VC. He is described throughout as a jet fighter pilot  facepalm:
Ahead of his time then  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2017, 11:38:23 AM
Just what I said in my e mail to the editor angel1 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on November 27, 2017, 05:14:51 PM
Last week I wrote a narticle (for this week's Times Educational Supplement) which is to go in as though authored by Sir Frank McLoughlin.

He is claiming that it has too many "big words" in it.  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on November 27, 2017, 05:17:38 PM
Last week I wrote a narticle (for this week's Times Educational Supplement) which is to go in as though authored by Sir Frank McLoughlin.

He is claiming that it has too many "big words" in it.  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on November 27, 2017, 09:51:08 PM
Last week I wrote a narticle (for this week's Times Educational Supplement) which is to go in as though authored by Sir Frank McLoughlin.

He is claiming that it has too many "big words" in it.  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
How does he cope with his surname?
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 08, 2017, 03:10:50 PM
Sir Frank is a total twat  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Angry9:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on December 08, 2017, 03:41:18 PM
Sir Frank is a total twat  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Angry9:

Couldn't spell his surname or is it too long ........ rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 08, 2017, 03:42:14 PM
He has just fucked up another piece of work wot I did.
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 10, 2017, 01:58:53 PM
Just dawned on me that Sir Frank has turned into Jeremy Clarkson, but with none of his redeeming features  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 13, 2017, 01:19:24 PM
It is amazing that I can renew my Po Box on-line now with a credit card...  :thumbsup:

...but bizarre that I can't change the name from the dead bloke that had it before me into my own...  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on December 13, 2017, 03:56:29 PM
It is amazing that I can renew my Po Box on-line now with a credit card...  :thumbsup:

...but bizarre that I can't change the name from the dead bloke that had it before me into my own...  noooo:
rubschin:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2017, 04:51:42 PM
Just change yer own name to his  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 13, 2017, 05:14:44 PM
Just change yer own name to his  :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on December 13, 2017, 05:53:10 PM
It is amazing that I can renew my Po Box on-line now with a credit card...  :thumbsup:

...but bizarre that I can't change the name from the dead bloke that had it before me into my own...  noooo:

That is some fancy cat litter tray .......... eeek:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 13, 2017, 05:57:44 PM
Just change yer own name to his  :thumbsup:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2017, 12:34:22 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2017, 12:47:44 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

happy001
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2017, 03:23:29 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

happy001
point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 19, 2017, 07:32:21 AM
He has just fucked up another piece of work wot I did.

If you end up having to do another one see if you can include any hidden messages...  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 19, 2017, 08:07:25 AM
 Sinister: Sinister:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Just One More on December 20, 2017, 05:25:23 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

So... Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh  noooo:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 20, 2017, 10:07:26 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

So... Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh  noooo:
noooo: Awful, it has quite displaced the traditional Yorkshire "Now then...."
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Just One More on December 20, 2017, 11:16:41 PM
So, responding to a request to complete an urgent piece of work for a news deadline I send it in to the client well in advance and GET AN OUT OF OFFICE REPLY SAYING HE IS ON HOLIDAY UNTIL JANUARY 2ND  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

So... Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh  noooo:
noooo: Awful, it has quite displaced the traditional Yorkshire "Now then...."

Si thee  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 21, 2017, 05:18:19 AM
We have a Welsh friend that starts every sentence with, 'Now then...' and a friend from Barnsley that starts, 'This is it...'...  Banghead
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: apc2010 on December 21, 2017, 08:55:19 AM
We have a Welsh friend that starts every sentence with, 'Now then...' and a friend from Barnsley that starts, 'This is it...'...  Banghead

Two friends now .......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 21, 2017, 08:58:10 AM
We have a Welsh friend that starts every sentence with, 'Now then...' and a friend from Barnsley that starts, 'This is it...'...  Banghead

Two friends now .......... Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on December 21, 2017, 03:54:27 PM
A friend writes. She works in a Sixth Form College. She had to go to a staff training day in an hotel. All the staff had to go there by coach. The Big Chief arrived by HELICOPTER. eeek: At lunch the Principal and other bosses got wine. All the other staff got water.

There was nearly a big fight!!  razz: razz:

Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on December 21, 2017, 04:12:45 PM
A friend writes. She works in a Sixth Form College. She had to go to a staff training day in an hotel. All the staff had to go there by coach. The Big Chief arrived by HELICOPTER. eeek: At lunch the Principal and other bosses got wine. All the other staff got water.

There was nearly a big fight!!  razz: razz:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2018, 12:49:31 PM
I have spent this morning having one of those hyper-polite e mail exchanges with a complete fvcking idiot in London. I am on the verge of going down there and killing him  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2018, 01:51:06 PM
Went into the DIY shop earlier for some bits... It is like B and long Queue...

Anyhoo, girl rings up the bits and it comes to €110

We have €60 worth of points make prizes vouchers that we had just cashed in so we hand them over...

She scans in the vouchers which we expect to leave us with €50 to put on a CC...

Seven million €uros please! Oh dear, I think I have done something wrong *telephones supervisor* facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 30, 2018, 02:14:52 PM
Flying to the UK at Christmas with EasyJet.

So I contacted Emirates to see if I could use or earn my Emirates Skyward miles for the trip...

Quote from: Barman
Hi Maria,

Another quick question - do you have links to EasyJet at all?

Thanks in advance,

Barman

As normal, they replied very quickly...

Quote from: Emirates in Nicosia
Dear Mr Barman good afternoon

The only link I have is the below

https://www.easyjet.com/en (https://www.easyjet.com/en)

Regards and have a pleasant afternoon.

facepalm:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2018, 02:16:19 PM
She did actually answer your question  whistle:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Barman on May 30, 2018, 03:03:53 PM
She did actually answer your question  whistle:

Well yes, I appreciate that but...
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2018, 03:14:57 PM
 point:
Title: Re: Working with Mongs...
Post by: Steve on May 30, 2018, 03:55:01 PM
I like the way Emirates gave completely the wrong answer, lets hope they don't fly their hairyplanes the same way