The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on July 25, 2011, 03:44:06 PM

Title: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on July 25, 2011, 03:44:06 PM: It seems my services are required for some more Bertie sitting in August cloud9:

Watch out Islington, here I come eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on July 25, 2011, 03:44:37 PM: [yawns]
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: GROWLER on July 25, 2011, 03:59:32 PM: More tales from the imagination of Nick due then I suppose. sleep021
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on July 25, 2011, 04:01:23 PM: evil:

It will be my fourth tour of duty evil:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: GROWLER on July 25, 2011, 04:13:51 PM: Quote from: Nick on July 25, 2011, 04:01:23 PM
evil:

It will be my fourth tour of duty evil:

Give us the dates so I can contact the leccy board to arrange for some power cuts. whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Just One More on July 25, 2011, 04:53:04 PM: Quote from: Nick on July 25, 2011, 04:01:23 PM
evil:

It will be my fourth tour of duty evil:

Bloody hell, you'd get a Purple Heart for that in the USA
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 25, 2011, 07:37:41 PM: Quote from: Nick on July 25, 2011, 03:44:06 PM
It seems my services are required for some more Bertie sitting in August cloud9:

Watch out Islington, here I come eveilgrin:

I'll pop over like.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 25, 2011, 07:53:59 PM: Jim can come and visit Scruff. angel1
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on July 25, 2011, 07:58:36 PM: Ta, but Jim wants to go to meet Bertie.

How is Scruff?
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 25, 2011, 08:00:57 PM: He's settling in and is currently curled up on the sofa next to me with his paw (there are three more) on my thigh.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on July 25, 2011, 08:07:00 PM: eeek: eeek:
Title: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 03, 2011, 02:38:31 PM: All confirmed. August 23rd to September 4th. I wonder what and who there will be to play with in London during my trip? rubschin:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 03, 2011, 02:45:00 PM: Pastis and TMR on the train tracks with the frozen fish ????
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Pastis on August 03, 2011, 02:48:16 PM: eeek: MissCluedo?
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 03, 2011, 02:52:37 PM: I have just e mailed a mate of mine in Islington to fix up a beer. The automatic reply informed me that he has RETIRED!!!

Since he is a year younger than me but was a Director in a local authority on £170K a year evil: I am sure he will be comfortable (the bastard cussing:)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: GROWLER on August 03, 2011, 03:21:34 PM: Quote from: Nick on August 03, 2011, 02:52:37 PM
I have just e mailed a mate of mine in Islington to fix up a beer. The automatic reply informed me that he has RETIRED!!!

Since he is a year younger than me but was a Director in a local authority on £170K a year evil: I am sure he will be comfortable (the bastard cussing:)

Proper bike seat you see. whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 03, 2011, 03:22:45 PM: And you are a bastard too cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: GROWLER on August 03, 2011, 03:25:04 PM: Quote from: Nick on August 03, 2011, 03:22:45 PM
And you are a bastard too cussing:

Ahh go fry yer arse on the BBQ, bloody dope. ::)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 05:44:58 PM: I have received fresh instructions. It seems Bertie has developed psychological problems and is now afraid of his own catflap noooo:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Pastis on August 23, 2011, 05:55:48 PM: Hmmm, rubschin:

The obvious solution would be to pose the problem on Yahoo Answers ... razz:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 05:56:34 PM: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Pastis on August 23, 2011, 06:00:31 PM: Hoist with your own petard it would seem point:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 06:01:54 PM: I plan to peg the catflap open. I am not getting out of bed every 10 minutes to accommodate Bertie's comings and goings cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Pastis on August 23, 2011, 06:07:48 PM: Inadvisable. You will have every stray and opportunistic fox round your bed by morning whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 06:08:42 PM: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Just One More on August 23, 2011, 06:57:58 PM: Quote from: Nick on August 23, 2011, 05:44:58 PM
I have received fresh instructions. It seems Bertie has developed psychological problems and is now afraid of his own catflap noooo:

Wash yer bloody ears out!

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1wjzhpvr8%2Fflatcapcatincatflap.jpg&hash=d4edf8030598d428a7f3239deffae744d6fe2d93) (http://postimage.org/image/1wjzhpvr8/)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 07:00:03 PM: I have put him outside and a bowl of tuna inside eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Pastis on August 23, 2011, 07:07:12 PM: Ah, the carrot & stick approach ... you could be there for some time whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 23, 2011, 07:20:20 PM: Locking the catflap is a fantastic idea. happy002
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 07:52:12 PM: It werked, like :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2011, 08:46:36 PM: I did spend sometime on my hands and knees demonstrating catflap headbutting techniques redface:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: GROWLER on August 23, 2011, 10:04:41 PM: Only thing for that mangy shit machine is for placing it in a curry. sick2:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2011, 04:55:13 AM: Quote from: Just One More on August 23, 2011, 06:57:58 PM
Quote from: Nick on August 23, 2011, 05:44:58 PM
I have received fresh instructions. It seems Bertie has developed psychological problems and is now afraid of his own catflap noooo:

Wash yer bloody ears out!

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F1wjzhpvr8%2Fflatcapcatincatflap.jpg&hash=d4edf8030598d428a7f3239deffae744d6fe2d93) (http://postimage.org/image/1wjzhpvr8/)

happy001
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 24, 2011, 07:04:09 AM: I have just been out to inspect the weather. There were SEVEN cats watching me scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 24, 2011, 07:58:24 AM: You should have just looked out of the window. noooo:

How long does it take a person to starve to death?
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: barmisspah? on August 24, 2011, 11:33:58 AM: Your fault for putting tuna near the cat flap
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Just One More on August 24, 2011, 03:54:36 PM: Quote from: barmisspah? on August 24, 2011, 11:33:58 AM
Your fault for putting tuna near the cat flap

You can't march in here being all sensible like ;)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2011, 03:55:10 PM: Quote from: Just One More on August 24, 2011, 03:54:36 PM
Quote from: barmisspah? on August 24, 2011, 11:33:58 AM
Your fault for putting tuna near the cat flap

You can't march in here being all sensible like ;)

lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2011, 09:04:27 AM: Just pottered off (nekkid) to the kitchen to make some tea and toast. I had forgotten that there is a bus stop right outside the flat and that people on the top deck are exactly level with my kitchen window. A whole top deck of voyeurs redface:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 25, 2011, 09:06:02 AM: And how many of them were pointing and laughing.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 25, 2011, 09:06:54 AM: Open mouthed gaping mainly redface:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 28, 2011, 06:22:22 PM: My neighbour is learning how to play the bongoes cussing: The bongoes are winning noooo:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 28, 2011, 07:21:31 PM: Top tip: Do not put a fag end in a dustbin redface: I had to use a fire extinguisher redface:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 28, 2011, 07:22:13 PM: OOh. 2 threads cloud9:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 29, 2011, 07:30:31 AM: There is never a thread merger around when you want one is there?
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 29, 2011, 09:02:30 AM: Quote from: Nick on August 23, 2011, 08:46:36 PM
I did spend sometime on my hands and knees demonstrating catflap headbutting techniques redface:

I think you have lost this battle of wits, Bertie has been training you to be the entertainment. whistle:

Quote from: Nick on August 24, 2011, 07:04:09 AM
I have just been out to inspect the weather. There were SEVEN cats watching me scared2:

I rest my case. point:

He doesn't need the catflap anyway, he's already figured out the doors.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2011%2F08%2F28%2Farticle-2031104-0D9A816D00000578-978_468x665.jpg&hash=85c8093dec66b750ac2ebbc0ca5763be76888a2b)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 29, 2011, 02:22:31 PM: Quote from: Miss Creant on August 29, 2011, 07:30:31 AM
There is never a thread merger around when you want one is there?

Merge the two threads you say...? rubschin:

I must say, it is rather tempting... eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 29, 2011, 02:25:20 PM: eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 30, 2011, 04:55:42 AM: I was woken in the small hours by the sound of Bertie puking on the carpet in between my bed and the bedroom door sick2:. I couldn;t face the clearing up job, but made a mental note to avoid the puke this morning.

I now found that it has gone again sick2: apartfrom a slight mark on the carpet eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 30, 2011, 04:58:47 AM: Quote from: Nick on August 30, 2011, 04:55:42 AM
I was woken in the small hours by the sound of Bertie puking on the carpet in between my bed and the bedroom door sick2:. I couldn;t face the clearing up job, but made a mental note to avoid the puke this morning.

I now found that it has gone again sick2: apartfrom a slight mark on the carpet eeek:

Welcome to my world...
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 30, 2011, 05:00:11 AM: DO yours clear up after themselves too then? eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 30, 2011, 05:00:39 AM: Quote from: Nick on August 30, 2011, 05:00:11 AM
DO yours clear up after themselves too then? eeek:

The dog does if we let him...
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 30, 2011, 05:02:16 AM: sick2:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Just One More on August 30, 2011, 04:42:01 PM: Quote from: Barman on August 30, 2011, 05:00:39 AM
Quote from: Nick on August 30, 2011, 05:00:11 AM
DO yours clear up after themselves too then? eeek:

The dog does if we let him...

Nothing nicer than a nice warm meal whistle:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 30, 2011, 04:49:38 PM: :sick016:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 30, 2011, 05:08:49 PM: Quote from: Barman on August 29, 2011, 02:25:20 PM
eeek:

You seem shocked by your own post BM.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 31, 2011, 05:30:15 AM: Quote from: Miss Creant on August 30, 2011, 05:08:49 PM
Quote from: Barman on August 29, 2011, 02:25:20 PM
eeek:

You seem shocked by your own post BM.

No Miss C... shocked at my ability to merge the two threads...

...as you requested like... ::)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 31, 2011, 07:46:08 AM: Good grief man do you expect me to notice the minutiae on here.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on August 31, 2011, 05:42:20 PM: Quote from: Miss Creant on August 31, 2011, 07:46:08 AM
Good grief man do you expect me to notice the minutiae on here.

I did, yes.... sad24:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Nick on August 31, 2011, 07:15:07 PM: There are pawprints all over the flat. I thought it was mud. But it is bitumen and indelible scared2:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Just One More on August 31, 2011, 07:30:18 PM: WD40 to remove the bitumen Nick, however, it may damage the carpet, so be sure to rinse/wipe/rinse wipe straightaway

(Please note I accept no responsibility for any damage caused by following these actions)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 31, 2011, 08:03:52 PM: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/video--cat-stuffs-furry-friend-into-box.html (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/video--cat-stuffs-furry-friend-into-box.html)

eeek:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Snoopy on September 01, 2011, 07:26:22 AM: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Fecking place is overrun with cats!
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM: Time to fight back Snoops?
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:53:07 AM: Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM
Time to fight back Snoops?

I'd be careful, they come prepared... eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_5Cb63vF5MM4%2FSVgyeSSNsqI%2FAAAAAAAAAJU%2FCOVpI0mkBb0%2Fs1600%2Fcat-armor.jpg&hash=4e4606d2c3ae493a4675763a5526762a893b50fd)
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Snoopy on September 01, 2011, 08:53:38 AM: Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM
Time to fight back Snoops?

:dogrun:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 01, 2011, 12:59:06 PM: Quote from: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:53:07 AM
Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM
Time to fight back Snoops?

I'd be careful, they come prepared... eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_5Cb63vF5MM4%2FSVgyeSSNsqI%2FAAAAAAAAAJU%2FCOVpI0mkBb0%2Fs1600%2Fcat-armor.jpg&hash=4e4606d2c3ae493a4675763a5526762a893b50fd)

I have seen some dogs balls advertised somewhere I will purchase some for the retaliation like.
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Snoopy on September 01, 2011, 01:05:02 PM: Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 12:59:06 PM
Quote from: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:53:07 AM
Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM
Time to fight back Snoops?

I'd be careful, they come prepared... eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_5Cb63vF5MM4%2FSVgyeSSNsqI%2FAAAAAAAAAJU%2FCOVpI0mkBb0%2Fs1600%2Fcat-armor.jpg&hash=4e4606d2c3ae493a4675763a5526762a893b50fd)

I have seen some dogs balls advertised somewhere I will purchase some for the retaliation like.

It's OK thanks ~ I have my own ..... Which you are welcome to play with whenever you wish. razz:
Title: Re: Bertie and the French lingerie model
Post by: Barman on September 02, 2011, 05:16:07 AM: Quote from: Snoopy on September 01, 2011, 01:05:02 PM
Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 12:59:06 PM
Quote from: Grumpmeister on September 01, 2011, 08:53:07 AM
Quote from: Miss Creant on September 01, 2011, 08:25:44 AM
Time to fight back Snoops?

I'd be careful, they come prepared... eeek:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_5Cb63vF5MM4%2FSVgyeSSNsqI%2FAAAAAAAAAJU%2FCOVpI0mkBb0%2Fs1600%2Fcat-armor.jpg&hash=4e4606d2c3ae493a4675763a5526762a893b50fd)

I have seen some dogs balls advertised somewhere I will purchase some for the retaliation like.

It's OK thanks ~ I have my own ..... Which you are welcome to play with when I stop licking them. razz:

whistle: