The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 07:35:10 AM

Title: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 07:35:10 AM
Ah the joys of watching a craftsman plying his trade.

Step one: In one breath say good morning, inform the Lady of the House that her car needs to be moved and he only takes one sugar in his tea.

Step two: Carefully lay out tools and spread dust sheets across "patio" area.

Step three: Suck teeth as selecting appropriate tool, pick up lump hammer and smash glass, most of which missed the dust sheets and went all over the dining room floor

Step four: Take electric saw and partially saw through wooden window frame at various points

Step five: Pick up even bigger hammer and smash window frame to pieces


It is going to be a long week I feel  surrender:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 07:37:00 AM
Two small boys now want to be double glazing fitters "Cos we could smash windows and not get told off"  ::)
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 04, 2011, 07:53:53 AM
Nick will be round for breakfast in record time now  lol:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 07:54:31 AM
 lol: lol: lol: lol:

He doesn't sound very.... um, qualified like....  rubschin:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 04, 2011, 07:56:01 AM
As you say a long week ahead might I suggest you disappear for a few days we won't mind as long as you tell us first like. whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 08:08:29 AM
As you say a long week ahead might I suggest you disappear for a few days we won't mind as long as you tell us first like. whistle:

We could get him one of those long extending leads Miss C....  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 08:18:57 AM
lol: lol: lol: lol:

He doesn't sound very.... um, qualified like....  rubschin:


Are there "Qualifications" to remove and fit new windows?
Other than those issued to "Approved Fitters" by their own industry standards organisation .... which like all such are fecking worthless.

I am working on recommendations from others he has done similar work for and the fact that he did one window on the West side last year and did a good job. We always knew getting the old wooden window frames out would be a bugger as the house was built just after the war (second!) and has been much painted, repaired, re-rendered and repainted over the years. What neither he nor I had reckoned on was that the frames would have been nailed to the inner cill with 4 inch nails, driven in at an angle, from inside the house.  ::)
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 08:31:43 AM
lol: lol: lol: lol:

He doesn't sound very.... um, qualified like....  rubschin:


Are there "Qualifications" to remove and fit new windows?
Other than those issued to "Approved Fitters" by their own industry standards organisation .... which like all such are fecking worthless.

I am working on recommendations from others he has done similar work for and the fact that he did one window on the West side last year and did a good job. We always knew getting the old wooden window frames out would be a bugger as the house was built just after the war (second!) and has been much painted, repaired, re-rendered and repainted over the years. What neither he nor I had reckoned on was that the frames would have been nailed to the inner cill with 4 inch nails, driven in at an angle, from inside the house.  ::)

I'm sure he'll do an excellent job....  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 04, 2011, 08:39:15 AM
And he will be able to see clearly when the rain has gone  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 08:50:10 AM
And he will be able to see clearly when the rain has gone  whistle:

 ;D
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Pirate on July 04, 2011, 08:53:25 AM
And he will be able to see clearly now that the window pane has gone  whistle:

 whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 09:21:28 AM
Old 'un out .... new'uns in.  cloud9:

Cleaning up and then to the bathroom.  ;D

Second cup of tea in his hand  angel1

Rendering outsides will be done when all four are finished as will beading etc to insides.  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Baldy on July 04, 2011, 09:25:03 AM
Ah the joys of watching a craftsman plying his trade.

Step one: In one breath say good morning, inform the Lady of the House that her car needs to be moved and he only takes one sugar in his tea.

Step two: Carefully lay out tools and spread dust sheets across "patio" area.

Step three: Suck teeth as selecting appropriate tool, pick up lump hammer and smash glass, most of which missed the dust sheets and went all over the dining room floor

Step four: Take electric saw and partially saw through wooden window frame at various points

Step five: Pick up even bigger hammer and smash window frame to pieces


It is going to be a long week I feel  surrender:

Not a good start.

Surely step two should have been to put the dust sheets the side of the direction they were going to break the windows and hence step three became a disaster. Or, of course dust sheets all around. Even the monkeys that I have employed over the years might have a chance of getting it right.....on the odd occasion.
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 09:49:56 AM
Job is going swimmingly .... all glass cleared away with brush and then vacuum cleaner.

SWWLTBO has expressed her satisfaction with the new windows in the dining room and that is good enough for me  cloud9:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Baldy on July 04, 2011, 09:51:43 AM
Job is going swimmingly .... all glass cleared away with brush and then vacuum cleaner.

SWWLTBO has expressed her satisfaction with the new windows in the dining room and that is good enough for me  cloud9:

How many plus points have you got so far?  eyes:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 04, 2011, 09:53:33 AM
Tina Turner - Steamy Windows (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e04pzNwIqU8#)
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 09:57:41 AM
No need for plus points ..... It's me burfday next Monday so I'll be able to claim me annual ration of  eyes: anyway.
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Baldy on July 04, 2011, 10:04:07 AM
No need for plus points ..... It's me burfday next Monday so I'll be able to claim me annual ration of  eyes: anyway.

 happy088 happy088 happy088
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 02:06:33 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 02:10:09 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 04, 2011, 02:13:14 PM
Something tells me we don't have to worry about BM being mistaken for a criminal mastermind...



unless Ned Kelley comes back from the dead.  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 02:14:15 PM
Something tells me we don't have to worry about BM being mistaken for a criminal mastermind...



unless Ned Kelley comes back from the dead.  whistle:

It could happen!  evil:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 02:16:49 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 02:23:01 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 02:24:14 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:

Doubt that she would fit though them  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 02:29:04 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:

Doubt that she would fit though them  whistle:

Don't they open properly like...?  noooo:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 04, 2011, 02:40:38 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:

Doubt that she would fit though them  whistle:

Don't they open properly like...?  noooo:

She has what could best be described as a "panoramic" arse.
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 04, 2011, 02:42:08 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:

Doubt that she would fit though them  whistle:

Don't they open properly like...?  noooo:

She has what could best be described as a "panoramic" arse.

Ah... those Tilt 'n' Turn windows are a nightmare....  noooo:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: apc2010 on July 04, 2011, 10:10:12 PM
2 windows completed ..... he has now gone to collect his kids from skool. Tomorrow he is at the Hospital will his father but is back on Wed and Thurs to fit other two windows and do the "finishes".
Yes he will be back 'cos (i) all his tools are in my garage and (ii) he ain't been paid.  whistle:
Has he got a big tool box?  eeek:

He might have an accomplice in it that will sneak out in the night, through a window he has cleverly left open and murder you all in your beds... probably like....  scared2:

Several tool boxes!

Unlikely ~ I know his Father-in-law who is, in fact, my local County Councillor. His Sister in Law owns and runs the laydees hair-dressers next door.  whistle:

So he has left a window open for the SiL...?  rubschin:

Doubt that she would fit though them  whistle:

Don't they open properly like...?  noooo:

She has what could best be described as a "panoramic" arse.

Ah... those Tilt 'n' Turn windows are a nightmare....  noooo:

You are Eric Clapton ............I claim my fiver ..........


yes I know .............. noooo:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Just One More on July 04, 2011, 10:44:25 PM
APC!   noooo:  Spank2: 
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 05, 2011, 02:40:41 AM
Is it time for the "A flat minor" joke?
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: apc2010 on July 05, 2011, 02:42:44 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 09:07:59 AM
Work on the windows recommenced this morning at 08.30.
All is going well ...... between the showers  confused:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 03:20:18 PM
Rain abated during the morning and work cracked on .... Me man has just now gone for the day .... All external work finished in anticipation of rain tomorrow when he will be doing internal work only. Job's a good 'un!  happy088



 rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: apc2010 on July 06, 2011, 03:21:27 PM
Get another man in...............
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 03:23:11 PM
Prolly  surrender:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2011, 03:27:31 PM
rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?

 noooo:

Its like when they buy a 'must have' bargain handbag then need the dress, shoes and gawd knows what to match it....  evil:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 03:41:03 PM
rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?

 noooo:

Its like when they buy a 'must have' bargain handbag then need the dress, shoes and gawd knows what to match it....  evil:

I fear so ~ new paint colours for the walls ("because we'll never match the old one to just 'touch up' with") .... will lead to new carpets which in turn leads to new curtains, lampshades, duvet covers ...... the list is endless.
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2011, 03:41:54 PM
rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?

 noooo:

Its like when they buy a 'must have' bargain handbag then need the dress, shoes and gawd knows what to match it....  evil:

I fear so ~ new paint colours for the walls ("because we'll never match the old one to just 'touch up' with") .... will lead to new carpets which in turn leads to new curtains, lampshades, duvet covers ...... the list is endless.

 happy100
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 03:44:44 PM
rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?

 noooo:

Its like when they buy a 'must have' bargain handbag then need the dress, shoes and gawd knows what to match it....  evil:

I fear so ~ new paint colours for the walls ("because we'll never match the old one to just 'touch up' with") .... will lead to new carpets which in turn leads to new curtains, lampshades, duvet covers ...... the list is endless.

 happy100

Just as well me window man came in at 750 quid below the budget I had set myself ...... Not that I've told her that.  ;)
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: apc2010 on July 06, 2011, 03:46:52 PM
rubschin: How long before SWWLTBO wants the rooms redecorated to cover up what little damage there is to the decoration and decides that we might as well change the whole colour scheme in each room?

 noooo:

Its like when they buy a 'must have' bargain handbag then need the dress, shoes and gawd knows what to match it....  evil:

I fear so ~ new paint colours for the walls ("because we'll never match the old one to just 'touch up' with") .... will lead to new carpets which in turn leads to new curtains, lampshades, duvet covers ...... the list is endless.

 happy100

Just as well me window man came in at 750 quid below the budget I had set myself ...... Not that I've told her that.  ;)

I hope she does not read this.......... rubschin:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2011, 03:47:38 PM
She can't get into it  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 07, 2011, 05:09:18 PM
My windows are finished and very pleasing they are  cloud9:

Cunningly I have said to SWWLTBO, as we viewed the finished article from outside and then in...... "Well, now we need to work out a plan to move the children around to share bedrooms whilst we redecorate them all, then we'll have to move the dining room furniture into the garage so we can decorate that room..... Can't see it all being done before the end of August  noooo:"

And she replied " Oh dear .... Do you think so? ..... I have so much work to do over the summer with preparing new courses I really can't spare the time to do all that AND of course there's Minimus's asthma that the paint will prolly make worse .........Can't we make do with a little touch up paint job here and there?"


Me: " rubschin: Weeeellllll ~ I suppose that would hold it for a year or two .... at a push (sucks teeth in professional manner and leaves a long pause whilst rolling a ciggy and igniting it) ~ All right dear, I'll give it a go and see how it looks when I've done" (Wimmin love it when you get all decisive and agree to "their" ideas)


Her: (Cooing a little with pleasure at getting what she thinks is her own way) "Oh thanks darling ~ I knew you'd understand"


So cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a foxhound  whistle:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Nick on July 07, 2011, 05:13:08 PM
 happ096 happ096 happ096 happ096 happ096 happ096
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 07, 2011, 06:36:17 PM
The Master ~ I am in awe.

 worthy: worthy:

Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 07, 2011, 09:12:14 PM
Well played Snoops!
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 07, 2011, 11:57:00 PM
Wot they all said.
Smart pup.
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Barman on July 08, 2011, 03:59:03 AM
Quote from: Snoopy's dream
My windows are finished and very pleasing they are  cloud9:

Cunningly I have said to SWWLTBO, as we viewed the finished article from outside and then in...... "Well, now we need to work out a plan to move the children around to share bedrooms whilst we redecorate them all, then we'll have to move the dining room furniture into the garage so we can decorate that room..... Can't see it all being done before the end of August  noooo:"

And she replied " Oh dear .... Do you think so? ..... I have so much work to do over the summer with preparing new courses I really can't spare the time to do all that AND of course there's Minimus's asthma that the paint will prolly make worse .........Can't we make do with a little touch up paint job here and there?"

Me: " rubschin: Weeeellllll ~ I suppose that would hold it for a year or two .... at a push (sucks teeth in professional manner and leaves a long pause whilst rolling a ciggy and igniting it) ~ All right dear, I'll give it a go and see how it looks when I've done" (Wimmin love it when you get all decisive and agree to "their" ideas)

Her: (Cooing a little with pleasure at getting what she thinks is her own way) "Oh thanks darling ~ I knew you'd understand"

So cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a foxhound  whistle:

Reality on the other hand...  whistle:

Mrs. Snoopy: Now get those bits of mess touched up!
Snoopy: yes dear...
Mrs. Snoopy: I'll plan the new décor for the whole house, order the soft furnishings with that £750 you kept quiet about and you can re-do the whole thing over winter... I'll take the kids away on holiday while you do it so we don't have any nasty asthma problems.
Mrs. Snoopy OK?
Snoopy: Yes dear...

 point:
Title: Re: New Windows for the North facing side of the Kennels
Post by: Snoopy on July 08, 2011, 04:59:42 AM
Quote from: Snoopy's dream
My windows are finished and very pleasing they are  cloud9:

Cunningly I have said to SWWLTBO, as we viewed the finished article from outside and then in...... "Well, now we need to work out a plan to move the children around to share bedrooms whilst we redecorate them all, then we'll have to move the dining room furniture into the garage so we can decorate that room..... Can't see it all being done before the end of August  noooo:"

And she replied " Oh dear .... Do you think so? ..... I have so much work to do over the summer with preparing new courses I really can't spare the time to do all that AND of course there's Minimus's asthma that the paint will prolly make worse .........Can't we make do with a little touch up paint job here and there?"

Me: " rubschin: Weeeellllll ~ I suppose that would hold it for a year or two .... at a push (sucks teeth in professional manner and leaves a long pause whilst rolling a ciggy and igniting it) ~ All right dear, I'll give it a go and see how it looks when I've done" (Wimmin love it when you get all decisive and agree to "their" ideas)

Her: (Cooing a little with pleasure at getting what she thinks is her own way) "Oh thanks darling ~ I knew you'd understand"

So cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a foxhound  whistle:

Reality on the other hand...  whistle:

Mrs. Snoopy: Now get those bits of mess touched up!
Snoopy: yes dear...
Mrs. Snoopy: I'll plan the new décor for the whole house, order the soft furnishings with that £750 you kept quiet about and you can re-do the whole thing over winter... I'll take the kids away on holiday while you do it so we don't have any nasty asthma problems.
Mrs. Snoopy OK?
Snoopy: Yes dear...

 point:

No way mate ~ today she plans on putting all the curtains back up.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRLVO5vvgz3oBVDnjGVomUXn56UN2yh1e934pRq6l7BBXyvW_JT%26amp%3Bt%3D1&hash=8f319e27b5b652e75ad39b47e12dac43c55f09ac)
Game, set and match I feel  whistle: