The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on July 26, 2007, 11:07:13 PM
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Well do you want to know or not? evil:This poll will close in 14 hours. evil:
I should add that this is definitely BOYS ONLY!
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Well do you want to know or not? evil:This poll will close in 14 hours. evil:
100% so far say NO!
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I beg to differ... 66.7% say
YES!
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75% say...
YES!
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Well, apparently my opinion isn't wanted. evil:
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Well, apparently my opinion isn't wanted. evil:
Correct... whistle:
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Well, apparently my opinion isn't wanted. evil:
Correct... whistle:
Donations will now be taken for the Barman memorial fund following a tragic accident involving a beer keg being inserted where the sun doesnt shine and an extremely innocent looking Wenchy point:
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Well, apparently my opinion isn't wanted. evil:
happy100
At least we are consistent.
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Smote the lot of you. cussing:
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Right back atcha Wenchy dear point:
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Smote the lot of you. cussing:
I was only trying to be sympathetic.! sad32:
And the fair sex wonders why men never respond as they want. ::)
She: "Tell me you care about me"
He: "I care about you more than anyone in the world"
She (kneeing him in the plums): "Anyone! So there is some thing you care about more than me?"
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Oh go on then Nick ~ you know you want to.
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Smote the lot of you. cussing:
I was only trying to be sympathetic.! sad32:
And the fair sex wonders why men never respond as they want. ::)
She: "Tell me you care about me"
He: "I care about you more than anyone in the world"
She (kneeing him in the plums): "Anyone! So there is some thing you care about more than me?"
That is because one suspects it may a sport realted thing. cussing:
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Smote the lot of you. cussing:
I was only trying to be sympathetic.! sad32:
And the fair sex wonders why men never respond as they want. ::)
She: "Tell me you care about me"
He: "I care about you more than anyone in the world"
She (kneeing him in the plums): "Anyone! So there is some thing you care about more than me?"
That is because one suspects it may a sport realted thing. cussing:
"Suspicion is the Mother of Tyranny."
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I'm right 90% of the time though. eyes:
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I am not interested in sport
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I am not interested in sport
In that case you have either found a supply of "Herbal " tobacco or your rellies stash of porn videos of them having sex with their friends and neighbours. lol:
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Nothing like that at all. Though, as an aside, along with the integrated individually turn on and offable house wide music system AND the full scale Launderette we found on TUesday, there are still odd things turning up elsewhere.
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I am not interested in sport
Thats a pity Nick, you would be an ideal athletics coach for the British Olympic team: The mere thought of you being behind them poking a badger would be enough to have the sprinters break the world land speed record point:
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evil:
I may not tell you about my discovery anyway as punishment for that.
The raccoons were back in the small hours and may have stolen Mrs Nick's swimming trunks, unless she has lost them somehow
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evil:
I may not tell you about my discovery anyway as punishment for that.
The raccoons were back in the small hours and may have stolen Mrs Nick's swimming trunks, unless she has lost them somehow
eeek:
Why does my mind turn back to your trip to view the beaver?
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evil:
I may not tell you about my discovery anyway as punishment for that.
The raccoons were back in the small hours and may have stolen Mrs Nick's swimming trunks, unless she has lost them somehow
That wouldnt work as I'm one of the ones who voted no point:
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I smote you
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I smote you
In that case take one yourself varlet whip:
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I smote you
Please tell us!
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I smote you
Please tell us!
Lickspittle. evil:
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Don't tell Darwin Nick... just me and Wenchy. whistle:
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Don't tell Darwin Nick... just me and Wenchy. whistle:
Or put it in the Liverpool Echo ::)
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Don't tell Darwin Nick... just me and Wenchy. whistle:
Or put it in the Liverpool Echo ::)
Far less people would find out that way point:
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I'm horrified by you all apart from BarMan who will get an extremely rare clap from me!
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I'm horrified by you all apart from BarMan who will get an extremely rare clap from me!
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
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I'm horrified by you all apart from BarMan who will get an extremely rare clap from me!
Don?t worry ? the huge doses of antibiotics I?ve been on for the past few weeks will deal with it? drumroll:
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The Poll has now closed. I am disappointed by the low turnout and will be conducting an investigation to see how I can better engage the electorate in the future.
Given the margin in favour of knowing I shall tell you. But not now. I am piloting the vehicle to Niagara Falls for the day. What can possibly go wrong?
So many buttons. Even the rear view mirror has FOUR buttons on it, one with a picture of a phone confused:.
We are not telling The Boy about the fold down ceiling mounted TV. I note that the key fob has a button on it marked "Panic". I am resisting the urge to press it. I pressed a big button in the North Wing the other day and that was what led to my startling discovery.
Toodle Pip.
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They?ve got Thunderbird One in there? eeek:
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The Poll has now closed. I am disappointed by the low turnout and will be conducting an investigation to see how I can better engage the electorate in the future.
Given the margin in favour of knowing I shall tell you. But not now. I am piloting the vehicle to Niagara Falls for the day. What can possibly go wrong?
So many buttons. Even the rear view mirror has FOUR buttons on it, one with a picture of a phone confused:.
We are not telling The Boy about the fold down ceiling mounted TV. I note that the key fob has a button on it marked "Panic". I am resisting the urge to press it. I pressed a big button in the North Wing the other day and that was what led to my startling discovery.
Toodle Pip.
I feel a mass smiting coming on. evil:
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Smite ~ Smite with all of your might!
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We shall be back at about 9 tonight. 2 in the morning in your time. All will be revealed then. evil:
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We shall be back at about 9 tonight. 2 in the morning in your time. All will be revealed then. evil:
Bastardo!!!
Shall we lock him out? eveilgrin:
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We shall be back at about 9 tonight. 2 in the morning in your time. All will be revealed then. evil:
Bastardo!!!
Shall we lock him out? eveilgrin:
And throw the bloody key away! Banghead
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we musn't.
He's only willy waving. ::)
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drumroll:
BW can whip up one of these for Mr Wench this evening. INgredients can be sourced on eBay, I spose
http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39 (http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39)
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Toodle Pip.
You found Toad!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toonhound.com%2Fwind-1.jpg&hash=01a7a6577599ecb9d8306d7a459cae804a757875)
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I'm horrified by you all apart from BarMan who will get an extremely rare clap from me!
shocked003 redface: Wench!! eeek:
The Poll has now closed. I am disappointed by the low turnout and will be conducting an investigation to see how I can better engage the electorate in the future.
Given the margin in favour of knowing I shall tell you. But not now. I am piloting the vehicle to Niagara Falls for the day. What can possibly go wrong?
I dont know but I'll be watching the news services with bated breath scared2:
So many buttons. Even the rear view mirror has FOUR buttons on it, one with a picture of a phone confused:.
We are not telling The Boy about the fold down ceiling mounted TV. I note that the key fob has a button on it marked "Panic". I am resisting the urge to press it. I pressed a big button in the North Wing the other day and that was what led to my startling discovery.
Aha, they have a panic/surprise visit from Nick room
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drumroll:
BW can whip up one of these for Mr Wench this evening. INgredients can be sourced on eBay, I spose
http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39 (http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39)
JUST FUCKING TELL US WHAT YOU FOUND!
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I'm horrified by you all apart from BarMan who will get an extremely rare clap from me!
shocked003 redface: Wench!! eeek:
The Poll has now closed. I am disappointed by the low turnout and will be conducting an investigation to see how I can better engage the electorate in the future.
Given the margin in favour of knowing I shall tell you. But not now. I am piloting the vehicle to Niagara Falls for the day. What can possibly go wrong?
I dont know but I'll be watching the news services with bated breath scared2:
So many buttons. Even the rear view mirror has FOUR buttons on it, one with a picture of a phone confused:.
We are not telling The Boy about the fold down ceiling mounted TV. I note that the key fob has a button on it marked "Panic". I am resisting the urge to press it. I pressed a big button in the North Wing the other day and that was what led to my startling discovery.
Aha, they have a panic/surprise visit from Nick room
That'll be it! Nick has found all his rellies hiding in their nuclear fall out shelter waiting for him to go home before they emerge.
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drumroll:
BW can whip up one of these for Mr Wench this evening. INgredients can be sourced on eBay, I spose
http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39 (http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39)
He deserved to be made into a pie
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.radiochioggia.it%2Fpublic%2Ffoto_nm%2Fsael.jpg&hash=e043f245fae1cfb6b70019c279945d3c4681d92c)
I take it that's a cd single!
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drumroll:
BW can whip up one of these for Mr Wench this evening. INgredients can be sourced on eBay, I spose
http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39 (http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39)
JUST FUCKING TELL US WHAT YOU FOUND!
scared2:
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drumroll:
BW can whip up one of these for Mr Wench this evening. INgredients can be sourced on eBay, I spose
http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39 (http://www.belbins.com/dinners_ready.asp?r=1&id=39)
JUST FUCKING TELL US WHAT YOU FOUND!
Thats what I like about you barman, so quiet, polite and softly spoken happy001
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Sorry to keep you waiting. Between the trip back from Niagara with Mrs Captain Nick in command of the beast and then the dead raccoon disposal problem (we used a net to fish it out and then hurled it over a fence) things have been a bit stressful here.
And the servants get the weekend off so we are fending for ourselves cry:
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Christ on a bike.
He's posting MORE while he's on holiday than he does when he's at home ffs! eeek:
This bloody story line has got more piggin' episodes than that Payton bastard place soap thing......and that was fuckin' total SHITE too!
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Christ on a bike.
He's posting MORE while he's on holiday than he does when he's at home ffs! eeek:
This bloody story line has got more piggin' episodes than that Payton bastard place soap thing......and that was fuckin' total SHITE too!
Smite him! evil:
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Right then. I was wandering about in the Basement of our Wing, near the cinema, sauna and gym and decided to check a cupboard I had noticed earlier at one end of a corridor.
It opened onto another corridor which went off at right angles. I set off and saw a door marked ?Rumpus Room? rubschin:. Naturally I was curious and went in. It was big ? I imagine about 35 feet by 20 feet and it had a parquet floor, a large number of ceiling mounted spotlights and, at the far end, some very obvious disco equipment. SO they have their own discotheque. With four kids and doubtless lots of kids? parties, this made a kind of sense.
I was puzzled, though, by the presence of 6 swivel barstool type chairs. You know the sort: chromium pole fixed to floor, footrest about half way between floor and leather seat. They were spaced evenly around the edge of the dance floor.
Anyhow, I went to leave and was arrested by the switches next to the door. Each room has the following next to the doors: Light switch, bank of light dimmer switches, knob for adjusting volume of sound system, intercom, internal phone. This room had an extra feature: two large buttons marked ?Up? and ?Down? eeek:
I looked at these for a while and then, inevitably pressed one. (It was ?Up?). There was a sort of hum and a clunk, but nothing else happened. So I thought for a moment and then stabbed ?Down?.
If you have seen Goldfinger you will have to recollect the scene where he described his proposed heist at Fort Knox with the aid of a large model.
A VERY BIG section of the ceiling began to descend on sort of telescopic rods. I reckon it left a four or five foot gap all around the room. As it came down, spotlights came on and focused on the center of the room. The ceiling section stopped automatically at the level of these 6 chairs. The whole area was covered in a perfectly made, fully decorated and permanently fixed enormous
6 lane
Scalextric set
I pressed the ?Up? button and left. I have not mentioned this to The Boy
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You disappoint me Mr Nick. I had expected more from you.
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eeek:
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I assume you are using their computer to send these missives?
I hope you know how to erase your posting history..... Otherwise, I fear you may be.
What was the address again?
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You disappoint me Mr Nick. I had expected more from you.
Me too... noooo:
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You disappoint me Mr Nick. I had expected more from you.
Me too... noooo:
Yeah ~ you could at least have had a go with it and given us a full report Banghead
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A VERY BIG section of the ceiling began to descend on sort of telescopic rods. I reckon it left a four or five foot gap all around the room. As it came down, spotlights came on and focused on the center of the room. The ceiling section stopped automatically at the level of these 6 chairs. The whole area was covered in a perfectly made, fully decorated and permanently fixed enormous
6 lane
Scalextric set
I want one, will it fit into your suitcase on the way home? if so, I can pop up to collect it.... whistle:
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A VERY BIG section of the ceiling began to descend on sort of telescopic rods. I reckon it left a four or five foot gap all around the room. As it came down, spotlights came on and focused on the center of the room. The ceiling section stopped automatically at the level of these 6 chairs. The whole area was covered in a perfectly made, fully decorated and permanently fixed enormous
6 lane
Scalextric set
I want one, will it fit into your suitcase on the way home? if so, I can pop up to collect it.... whistle:
That's a thought ~ the Rellies probably won't miss it until they've finished sorting out the trail of devastation that used to be their home.
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I hope you know how to erase your posting history..... Otherwise, I fear you may be.
<cough and willy waving mode on>I think he'll confirm that this has already been mentioned. <modes off>
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Nick. Was that IT? ::)
I tell you....he IS at BUTLINS!
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If you had inspected said set a little closer you may have found:
Lane 1: One of the cars with a stressed Nick on board, boy hanging from window catapult in hand
Lane 2: Buffer Lane
Lane 3: Mrs Nick in the Beast
Lane 4: A 12 valve 2l Twin Turbo Raccoon
Lane 5: A car with a Canoe on the roof
Lane 6: Breakdown Truck
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If you had inspected said set a little closer you may have found:
Lane 1: One of the cars with a stressed Nick on board, boy hanging from window catapult in hand
Lane 2: Buffer Lane
Lane 3: Mrs Nick in the Beast
Lane 4: A 12 valve 2l Twin Turbo Raccoon
Lane 5: A car with a Canoe on the roof
Lane 6: Breakdown Truck
Don't forget the tiny, tiny exploding badger and a cocktail stick with which to poke it. whistle:
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We shall be away now for several days in pursuit of beaver and bears and Francophones. Do try to behave.
Had a fab day out in Toronto today with a Julian Clary type friend of the rellies. Me and him only. He was fearlessly camp and very funny. NOt sure about the Vietnamese lunch though sick2:
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If you had inspected said set a little closer you may have found:
Lane 1: One of the cars with a stressed Nick on board, boy hanging from window catapult in hand
Lane 2: Buffer Lane
Lane 3: Mrs Nick in the Beast
Lane 4: A 12 valve 2l Twin Turbo Raccoon
Lane 5: A car with a Canoe on the roof
Lane 6: Breakdown Truck
I think there would be an ambulance in lane 2? whistle:
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Dont be daft Barman, Canadian Paramedics have too much sense to get that close to Captain Calamity when he's behind the wheel point:
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I may be in Ottawa but I am listening! evil:
The Boy: "I need the toilet."
Off we go
The Boy: "Come and look. I have diarrhoea!" noooo:
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Well, that is just, umm lovely? eeek:
Aren't you meant to be out chasing beaver or something?
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Time enough for beaver in the next week. We drove down a road last night with "Danger, Moose" signs, but they were all hiding.
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Call it a hunch but I think it could be that someone is driving ahead of you with 'Danger!! Nick' signs point:
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Time enough for beaver in the next week. We drove down a road last night with "Danger, Moose" signs, but they were all hiding.
Are you sure they didn?t say Danger Mouse?
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You may have something there Barman, Nick does remind me of Penfold every once in a while point: