The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 03:50:33 PM

Title: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 03:50:33 PM
This is really a gripe about poor quality toilet paper.  A hard session working the crease results in little snowflakes of white paper that drift down onto the seat of my trousers.  As a result, if I forget to brush these off, anyone can tell when I have just wiped my arse and you can be sure that they will waste no time in pointing this out to as many people as possible.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 23, 2007, 04:04:48 PM
Buy better quality toilet paper and change your diet.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 05:14:20 PM
Yo Mort, not much I can do when I'm at work as they choose the toilet paper.  Cheap and nasty stuff that really chafes!
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Misunderstood on July 23, 2007, 05:31:12 PM
Is spalpeen an anagram of galoot or spigot?
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 05:35:34 PM
Ey what?
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: D P Dance on July 23, 2007, 05:46:22 PM
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 05:53:19 PM
 ::) ::) ::)

 whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 05:55:30 PM
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 05:56:40 PM
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???

you are Squidward  whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Misunderstood on July 23, 2007, 05:58:47 PM
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 06:00:59 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 

Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: GROWLER on July 23, 2007, 06:01:43 PM
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???

you are Squidward  whistle:

Showing all those classic signs I must agree....sadly.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Misunderstood on July 23, 2007, 07:01:39 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 


Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

 redface:  I feel silly now........
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Spalpeen on July 23, 2007, 07:30:48 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 


Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

 redface:  I feel silly now........


That's ok, apology accepted. But why would you think we are one and the same poster? Why does everyone have to be someone else round here?
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:03:32 PM
 whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Anise on July 23, 2007, 08:06:45 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 


Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

 redface:  I feel silly now........


That's ok, apology accepted. But why would you think we are one and the same poster? Why does everyone have to be someone else round here?

The paranoia is overwhelming isn't it?

Almost as if they feel guilty about something...
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:09:47 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 


Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

 redface:  I feel silly now........


That's ok, apology accepted. But why would you think we are one and the same poster? Why does everyone have to be someone else round here?

The paranoia is overwhelming isn't it?

Almost as if they feel guilty about something...

 whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Anise on July 23, 2007, 08:10:23 PM
Quote from: Bouncer link=topic=916. msg14830#msg14830 date=1185213527
Quote from: D P Dance link=topic=916. msg14822#msg14822 date=1185212782
I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 


Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

 redface:  I feel silly now........


That's ok, apology accepted. But why would you think we are one and the same poster? Why does everyone have to be someone else round here?

The paranoia is overwhelming isn't it?

Almost as if they feel guilty about something...

 whistle:

You played your part in the treachery too Berk.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:11:17 PM
no..I can spell it..  whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Anise on July 23, 2007, 08:12:14 PM
no..I can spell it..  whistle:

I assure you the spelling is delibrate, Berk.
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:13:52 PM
 whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Anise on July 23, 2007, 08:20:40 PM
whistle:

708 posts now. Kudos ;D
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:22:14 PM
Isn't it time you were posting pissing pictures ? or maybe the one of the 2 underage girls sucking cock ??

sorry.. sorry//.....

don't get your solicitor onto me.. scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Anise on July 23, 2007, 08:23:52 PM
 whistle:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Berek on July 23, 2007, 08:27:52 PM
 scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Bum shavings
Post by: Bar Wench on July 23, 2007, 08:34:01 PM
Enough. Thread being locked. Some people are on very shaky ground here. Next time I won't be locking threads I will be using my ban button with willful abandon.