The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on January 05, 2011, 01:16:36 PM
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I always felt left out at skool when the nit nurse came, checked our heads and then marched several kids off (always Keith Holness for some reason) to have their hands painted purple.
Anyhoo I have finally contrived to produce a wart cloud9:
My doc is going to "freeze it off" scared2:
What's all that about then? Only warty people need respond angel1
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tunble:
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I could post before and after pictures, like angel1
If I had a mirror on a stick rubschin:
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I could post before and after pictures, like angel1
If I had a mirror on a stick rubschin:
Genital warts? eeek:
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I'd get those seen to if I were you.
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My doc is going to "freeze it off" scared2:
Careful he freezes off the right thing. Any small, ugly appendages may be considered whistle:
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My doc is going to "freeze it off" scared2:
Careful he freezes off the right thing. Any small, ugly appendages may be considered whistle:
His head like? happy001
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evil:
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[serious]Some years ago, I had a dangly mole on my neck.
Our GP (old school) tied a bit of cotton round it and it dropped off a few days later. Painless and no problem since.
Apparently 'freezing' was an alternative, modern option.
[/serious]
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The doctor may use a spray to freeze the wart. It tingles a little.
Sometimes they use a cotton bud dipped in a "freezing" fluid ... that also tingles a bit.
Hopefully the wart will drop off after a couple or three days ~ if not the treatment is repeated weekly until the wart does drop off.
THW had one on her forehead. It took some weeks of regular treatment as described to fully remove it, leaving a red mark that faded over the following days.
I have had a small wart on my left thumb for years. The doc says it is too small to worry about and won't treat it.
THW's small wart was considered to be likely to cause her embarrassment so was removed.
An alternative remedy for home treatment is to rub the wart daily with a banana skin ~ this is said to remove the wart. My ex had a small wart on her hand ~ she "wished" it away by rubbing it with her finger and chanting a mantra that her mother had given her. Surprisingly it worked!
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[serious]Some years ago, I had a dangly mole on my neck.
Our GP (old school) tied a bit of cotton round it and it dropped off a few days later. Painless and no problem since.
Apparently 'freezing' was an alternative, modern option.
[/serious]
So we should tie some cotton around Nick's genitals...? rubschin:
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Why do they appear , what causes them ? ( not genital ones obviously !!! )
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I have tied a banana skin to it with some cotton. That is right, isn't it?
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[serious]Some years ago, I had a dangly mole on my neck.
Our GP (old school) tied a bit of cotton round it and it dropped off a few days later. Painless and no problem since.
Apparently 'freezing' was an alternative, modern option.
[/serious]
So we should tie some cotton around Nick's genitals...? rubschin:
Sooner you than me eeek:
You may find this a useful hint:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcT9IAXS77ILJ5RDMRnKC-eY-pmOcAqqKKl2GcMxzz0xxPkxPWSESQ&hash=810035a145636421f5f450515426a462c4aaddc2)
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Why do they appear , what causes them ? ( not genital ones obviously !!! )
Warts are skin growths which are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV) - they are non-cancerous. The virus causes keratin, a hard protein in the epidermis (the top layer of the skin) to grow too fast. Warts are different from moles. While moles are dark and can be quite large, warts tend to be small, skin-colored rough lumps. Warts most commonly appear on a person's hands and feet.
Source: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/155039.php
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[serious]Some years ago, I had a dangly mole on my neck.
Our GP (old school) tied a bit of cotton round it and it dropped off a few days later. Painless and no problem since.
Apparently 'freezing' was an alternative, modern option.
[/serious]
So we should tie some cotton around Nick's genitals...? rubschin:
Sooner you than me eeek:
You may find this a useful hint:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcT9IAXS77ILJ5RDMRnKC-eY-pmOcAqqKKl2GcMxzz0xxPkxPWSESQ&hash=810035a145636421f5f450515426a462c4aaddc2)
evil:
I wonder if one of the VP laydees could cast a spell rubschin:
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Are you inferring we are witches ? evil:
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Implying yes, inferring no. (Just beating DS to it, like)
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...well suggesting then ???
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All wimmin are. Common knowledge whistle: whistle:
I bet every one of you here owns a broom of some sort. Yes or No?
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Jest to prove you ain't t'only one wot reads books like ......
Huckleberry came and went, at his own free will. He slept on doorsteps in fine weather and in empty hogsheads in wet; he did not have to go to school or to church, or call any being master or obey anybody; he could go fishing or swimming when and where he chose, and stay as long as it suited him; nobody forbade him to fight; he could sit up as late as he pleased; he was always the first boy that went barefoot in the spring and the last to resume leather in the fall; he never had to wash, nor put on clean clothes; he could swear wonderfully. In a word, everything that goes to make life precious that boy had. So thought every harassed, hampered, respectable boy in St. Petersburg.
Tom hailed the romantic outcast:
"Hello, Huckleberry!"
"Hello yourself, and see how you like it."
"What's that you got?"
"Dead cat."
"Lemme see him, Huck. My, he's pretty stiff. Where'd you get him ?"
"Bought him off'n a boy."
"What did you give?"
"I give a blue ticket and a bladder that I got at the slaughter-house."
"Where'd you get the blue ticket?"
"Bought it off'n Ben Rogers two weeks ago for a hoop-stick."
"Say -- what is dead cats good for, Huck?"
"Good for? Cure warts with."
"No! Is that so? I know something that's better."
"I bet you don't. What is it?"
"Why, spunk-water."
"Spunk-water! I wouldn't give a dern for spunk-water."
"You wouldn't, wouldn't you? D'you ever try it?"
"No, I hain't. But Bob Tanner did."
"Who told you so!"
"Why, he told Jeff Thatcher, and Jeff told Johnny Baker, and Johnny told Jim Hollis, and Jim told Ben Rogers, and Ben told a nigger, and the nigger told me. There now!"
"Well, what of it? They'll all lie. Leastways all but the nigger. I don't know him. But I never see a nigger that wouldn't lie. Shucks! Now you tell me how Bob Tanner done it, Huck."
"Why, he took and dipped his hand in a rotten stump where the rain-water was."
"In the daytime?"
"Certainly."
"With his face to the stump?"
"Yes. Least I reckon so."
"Did he say anything?"
"I don't reckon he did. I don't know."
"Aha! Talk about trying to cure warts with spunk-water such a blame fool way as that! Why, that ain't a-going to do any good. You got to go all by yourself, to the middle of the woods, where you know there's a spunk-water stump, and just as it's midnight you back up against the stump and jam your hand in and say:
'Barley-corn, barley-corn, injun-meal shorts,
Spunk-water, spunk-water, swaller these warts,'
and then walk away quick, eleven steps, with your eyes shut, and then turn around three times and walk home without speaking to anybody. Because if you speak the charm's busted."
"Well, that sounds like a good way; but that ain't the way Bob Tanner done."
"No, sir, you can bet he didn't, becuz he's the wartiest boy in this town; and he wouldn't have a wart on him if he'd knowed how to work spunk-water. I've took off thousands of warts off of my hands that way, Huck. I play with frogs so much that I've always got considerable many warts. Sometimes I take 'em off with a bean."
"Yes, bean's good. I've done that."
"Have you? What's your way?"
"You take and split the bean, and cut the wart so as to get some blood, and then you put the blood on one piece of the bean and take and dig a hole and bury it 'bout midnight at the crossroads in the dark of the moon, and then you burn up the rest of the bean. You see that piece that's got the blood on it will keep drawing and drawing, trying to fetch the other piece to it, and so that helps the blood to draw the wart, and pretty soon off she comes."
"Yes, that's it, Huck -- that's it; though when you're burying it if you say 'Down bean; off wart; come no more to bother me!' it's better. That's the way Joe Harper does, and he's been nearly to Coonville and most everywheres. But say -- how do you cure 'em with dead cats?"
"Why, you take your cat and go and get in the graveyard 'long about midnight when somebody that was wicked has been buried; and when it's midnight a devil will come, or maybe two or three, but you can't see 'em, you can only hear something like the wind, or maybe hear 'em talk; and when they're taking that feller away, you heave your cat after 'em and say, 'Devil follow corpse, cat follow devil, warts follow cat, I'm done with ye!' That'll fetch any wart."
"Sounds right. D'you ever try it, Huck?"
"No, but old Mother Hopkins told me."
"Well, I reckon it's so, then. Becuz they say she's a witch."
"Say! Why, Tom, I know she is. She witched pap. Pap says so his own self. He come along one day, and he see she was a-witching him, so he took up a rock, and if she hadn't dodged, he'd a got her. Well, that very night he rolled off'n a shed wher' he was a layin drunk, and broke his arm."
"Why, that's awful. How did he know she was a-witching him?"
"Lord, pap can tell, easy. Pap says when they keep looking at you right stiddy, they're a-witching you. Specially if they mumble. Becuz when they mumble they're saying the Lord's Prayer backards."
"Say, Hucky, when you going to try the cat?"
"To-night. I reckon they'll come after old Hoss Williams to-night."
"But they buried him Saturday. Didn't they get him Saturday night?"
"Why, how you talk! How could their charms work till midnight? -- and then it's Sunday. Devils don't slosh around much of a Sunday, I don't reckon."
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Dare I ask what spunk water is? scared2:
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Ask Mark Twain ~ He wrote it. razz:
Or perhaps you should try it on Yahoo Answers.
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Spunk-water (sometimes referred to as "stump water") is rainwater found lying in the open woods within the wood hollow of a rotten tree trunk.
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I just knew that one of the local witches would know cloud9:
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It's fairly obvious if you read the quote whistle:
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Smart arse evil:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_bsrD_bQ348o%2FStOBk4HUuNI%2FAAAAAAAAAl8%2FslpGfePPlIU%2Fs400%2FSleepy%2BHollow%2BCrone.jpg&hash=a7e8a965533de79d403c6baa23b85ce5c45b547e)
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Personally I was more intrigued by the thought of Nick being discovered, in the small hours, by Nottinghamshire's Finest as he was throwing a dead cat over the wall of the local graveyard.
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Implying yes, inferring no. (Just beating DS to it, like)
Well done lad. happy088
In fact, I think you were stating rather than implying.
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I blame the comprehensive system noooo:
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I'm waiting for somebody to post "and all" evil:
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Anal razz:
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Anal razz:
Oh Snoopy! [rolls up newspaper]
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You have heard it here first folks but I am not perfect whistle:
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WOT? Popcorn:
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You have heard it here first folks but I am not a prefect whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.tesco.com%2Fpi%2Fentertainment%2FDVD%2FLF%2F844256_DV_L_F.jpg&hash=63aad649724f39695114de10096a1eedaa643297)
Shame noooo:
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It's vanished eeek: All by itself like eeek:
It is an ex-wart sad24:
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It's vanished eeek: All by itself like eeek:
It is an ex-wart sad24:
Twas a bogey point:
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It's vanished eeek: All by itself like eeek:
It is an ex-wart sad24:
Twas a bogey point:
happy001