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Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: GROWLER on November 01, 2010, 08:14:15 PM

Title: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 01, 2010, 08:14:15 PM
Tomorrow, ok?  ::)
I have a list of 'failures and faultisms' that I've been gathering for some time now, so I'll bombard him/her with the lot in one go to save further mithering.
Considerate aren't I? cloud9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 01, 2010, 08:20:00 PM
You'll know when you've given told them enough as smoke will come out of the doctor's ears. Information overload signs will flash in his/her eyes.
They can't handle much input I have discovered.

Saturday afternoon, just gone, I was  Snoopysick: off to A&E by ambulance AGAIN!

Heart malfunction .... bloody thing had righted itself by the time I got there. Ambulance broke down! I think the hysterical laughter I could not contain might have helped me.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 01, 2010, 08:27:24 PM
You'll know when you've given told them enough as smoke will come out of the doctor's ears. Information overload signs will flash in his/her eyes.
They can't handle much input I have discovered.

Saturday afternoon, just gone, I was  Snoopysick: off to A&E by ambulance AGAIN!

Heart malfunction .... bloody thing had righted itself by the time I got there. Ambulance broke down! I think the hysterical laughter I could not contain might have helped me.


I'm 'avin' me 'ECU' and blood pressure checked while I'm there.
Summat's not tickin' right, so i thought I'd better have it checked out...very reluctantly.. preferably before I croak it on 'me everyone's 'ill.

Absolutely bloody dreading it tbqatth. scared2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 01, 2010, 08:39:38 PM
I know the dreading it feeling.... I came home with both arms and the backs of both hands like bloody pin cushions. They couldn't find a vein!  censored:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 01, 2010, 09:45:25 PM
When they ask you how much you smoke/drink tell them to fuck off!  lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 07:57:17 AM
Doctor at A&E asked if I drank ..... I said "Only socially, what have you got". He didn't even smile ...... not the first time he'd heard it I assumed!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 08:34:45 AM
Doctor at A&E asked if I drank ..... I said "Only socially, what have you got". He didn't even smile ...... not the first time he'd heard it I assumed!

 lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2010, 02:01:30 PM
I think Growler must have been shot  noooo:

Rug anyone?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 02:15:25 PM
  lol: Would that be as in " A rancid, flea bitten rug" of which he has often spoken?  ;)

 scared:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 02:17:42 PM
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

He's here! (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared007.gif&hash=2a92affdc08d4c15ca34fd9fca1429eff7628bee)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 02:25:53 PM
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:

He's here! (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared007.gif&hash=2a92affdc08d4c15ca34fd9fca1429eff7628bee)

Nah, no worries. got more things to worry about than that soft get and his rancid flea ridden rag that cost TWO THOUSAND UNBELIEVABLE BLOODY WASTED POUNDS!!! Angry9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 02:34:31 PM
Good to see you survived anyway.

All OK I hope.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 02:41:15 PM
Good to see you survived anyway.

All OK I hope.

'avn't been yet.
15:00 hrs., or 16:00 GWT. scared2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 02:44:12 PM


Ooooooh! I hate afternoon appointments. Nervous all day and when you get there the b@st@rds are always running late so you end up hanging around in the waiting room catching Lord knows what off the sick people in there. (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick010.gif&hash=ca264fd168e249144428c24585950d0ac53bb6ea)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 02, 2010, 02:50:43 PM
Good to see you survived anyway.

All OK I hope.

'avn't been yet.
15:00 hrs., or 16:00 GWT. scared2:

I hope they warm the 'probe' nicely for you.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 02:52:35 PM
Good to see you survived anyway.

All OK I hope.

'avn't been yet.
15:00 hrs., or 16:00 GWT. scared2:

I hope they warm the 'probe' nicely for you.

It will have been nicely warmed up with constant use all day....  sick2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 03:09:36 PM
15.09 ~ he'll be reading looking at the totty in a three year old copy of "Hello" I 'spect, glancing at his watch every few seconds and harrumphing a lot.



I wonder if they have to sedate him with a tranquiliser dart before they can examine him.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 03:30:39 PM
15.09 ~ he'll be reading looking at the totty in a three year old copy of "Hello" I 'spect, glancing at his watch every few seconds and harrumphing a lot.


Nah... a National Geographic without a cover - 1953 coronation special problee...
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 02, 2010, 03:32:56 PM
Last time I was at the GP's the only up to date reading was the village magazine which I edit and publish  tunble:

I found two errors that my proof reader had missed!  Banghead
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2010, 03:44:42 PM
I once read a copy of Country Life or summat in a hospital waiting room. It was in pristine condition but seemed oddly dated. The ads were in predecimal money  rubschin:

1963!!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 03:45:24 PM
...and what year were you in  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 02, 2010, 03:47:19 PM
1964
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2010, 03:48:49 PM
...and what year were you in  rubschin:

1996!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 04:52:58 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:20:41 PM
Back. Fit an' 'ealthy..ish, but got to go back and have me 'ECU' plugged into diagnostics for half an hour (GWT scale) to check it's efficiency in a couple of weeks.

Crackin' quack btw. Mid 40's, training in surgery for 4 months and was just like one of the lads almost.
Took me arf an hour to get out of the place due to excessive amounts of banter and general interesting facts, figures and some good ole hearty ranting about society and all its ill's, and consequently  getting some of us well stressed out with frustration.
He agreed with most of my grumbles and said I was a bit of an 'unusual character'.  cloud9:

Shook me paw and thanked me for an 'interesting chat' lol:

Did you know, that it takes an approximate 10 mile walk to burn off a Mars bar...approximate like?  eeek:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:24:19 PM
Tragic innit  noooo:

Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:24:29 PM
Back. Fit an' 'ealthy..ish, but got to go back and have me 'ECU' plugged into diagnostics for half an hour (GWT scale) to check it's efficiency in a couple of weeks.

Crackin' quack btw. Mid 40's, training in surgery for 4 months and was just like one of the lads almost.
Took me arf an hour to get out of the place due to excessive amounts of banter and general interesting facts, figures and some good ole hearty ranting about society and all its ill's, and consequently  getting some of us well stressed out with frustration.
He agreed with most of my grumbles and said I was a bit of an 'unusual character'.  cloud9:

Shook me paw and thanked me for an 'interesting chat' lol:

Did you know, that it takes an approximate 10 mile walk to burn off a Mars bar...approximate like?  eeek:

Glad you are okay...

I know I used to pound away on the running machine at the gym for hours and pressed the button to find - hey presto - used about 3½ calories...  evil:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:28:00 PM
I did a 10k run on treadmill last night ...just about an hours worth and 3 Mars Bars ...that's what the machine should give you read outs in  ;D


Glad it all seems quite positive as well Mr G  cloud9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:28:15 PM
Tragic innit  noooo:



Whar'is? rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:30:20 PM
Tragic innit  noooo:



Whar'is? rubschin:

That is
Quote
Did you know, that it takes an approximate 10 mile walk to burn off a Mars bar...approximate like? 
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:30:56 PM
I did a 10k run on treadmill last night ...just about an hours worth and 3 Mars Bars ...that's what the machine should give you read outs in  ;D


Glad it all seems quite positive as well Mr G  cloud9:

10K Shrugs:

You know we need double-decker buses here...  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:32:10 PM
Tell you. I was actually quite shocked tbh. Told him I eat a bar or two every day, and he just shook his head at me. sad32:

He's given me the all clear to join a gym now anyway...now the dark nights are here like, to get me out of the 'ouse like, and to lose this gut a bit.
He didn't initially believe me dob too! cloud9:

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:34:27 PM
Tell you. I was actually quite shocked tbh. Told him I eat a bar or two every day, and he just shook his head at me. sad32:

He's given me the all clear to join a gym now anyway...now the dark nights are here like, to get me out of the 'ouse like, and to lose this gut a bit.
He didn't initially believe me dob too! cloud9:

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.

I've lost loadsaweight like... just by walking... and cutting out the booze...  redface:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:36:19 PM
...and spending all your 'housekeeping' on the mini like  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:38:07 PM

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.

 lol: lol: lol:

You might have to be buying a bumper box of Christmas cards this year for all yer new bestest friends like  lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:38:22 PM
...and spending all your 'housekeeping' on the mini like  whistle:

All my Quaver money...  redface:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:40:57 PM
He didn't NAG me about the snouts either, but suggested it might be a very good idea to bin 'em.
Booze consumption very low now, so no probleemo there.

Tell you, I wish he was me permanent quack, as I was well impressed with him. 10/10. happy088
We had a damned good chortle about me taking weeks to actually gain the mental strength to make an appointment.
Sort of told me off, but in a nice and diplomatic way.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:43:32 PM

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.

 lol: lol: lol:

You might have to be buying a bumper box of Christmas cards this year for all yer new bestest friends like  lol:

Nah. Best friends come and go, being the fickle bear that I apparently am, alledgedly, so 'some' say like. whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:46:58 PM

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.

 lol: lol: lol:

You might have to be buying a bumper box of Christmas cards this year for all yer new bestest friends like  lol:

Nah. Best friends come and go, being the fickle bear that I apparently am, alledgedly, so 'some' say like. whistle:

Just one card then... send it at the last minute...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:48:21 PM
I ranted and raged about Growler Jnr never putting any weight on, bloody stick insect that he is, even though he can scoff a family sized bag of Galaxy Counters in less than 15 minutes, and does so regulary. Banghead

I just sniff' the contents, and I put three stone on. Angry9:

Summat to do with matabalisms or summat, bloody shite. ::)
Bloody HATE me, with an undying and overwhelming rancid passion I do.  cussing:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:51:05 PM

He was immidiately promoted to best friend status 1.

 lol: lol: lol:

You might have to be buying a bumper box of Christmas cards this year for all yer new bestest friends like  lol:

Nah. Best friends come and go, being the fickle bear that I apparently am, alledgedly, so 'some' say like. whistle:

Just one card then... send it at the last minute...?  rubschin:

IF you're good and friendly to me, yes.

I may draw up a final leauge table at the end of the year.
There are one or two contenders. cloud9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:53:35 PM
Can we have an awards ceremony ...a VP annual awards ceremony  cloud9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:54:25 PM
I ranted and raged about Growler Jnr never putting any weight on, bloody stick insect that he is, even though he can scoff a family sized bag of Galaxy Counters in less than 15 minutes, and does so regulary. Banghead

I just sniff' the contents, and I put three stone on. Angry9:

Summat to do with matabalisms or summat, bloody shite. ::)
Bloody HATE me, with an undying and overwhelming rancid passion I do.  cussing:

I weighed nine stone ten pounds from about 18 to forty-ish no matter what I ate or drank...

Look at me now...  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:55:02 PM
Can we have an awards ceremony ...a VP annual awards ceremony  cloud9:

Poster of the year!  cloud9:

I'll get a cup and engrave me name on it like...  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:56:30 PM

I weighed nine stone ten pounds from about 18 to forty-ish no matter what I ate or drank...

Look at me now...  noooo:

There's nothing to you  eeek:

No woman wants a man to weigh less than her  redface:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 07:57:14 PM
Can we have an awards ceremony ...a VP annual awards ceremony  cloud9:

Poster of the year!  cloud9:

I'll get a cup and engrave me name on it like...   whistle:

 lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2010, 07:57:34 PM
Can we have an awards ceremony ...a VP annual awards ceremony  cloud9:

Poster of the year!  cloud9:

I'll get a cup and engrave me name on it like...  whistle:

Why don't you award yourself a prize bottle of something nice to drink ? ...oh sorry I forgot  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2010, 07:59:07 PM

I weighed nine stone ten pounds from about 18 to forty-ish no matter what I ate or drank...

Look at me now...  noooo:

There's nothing to you  eeek:

No woman wants a man to weigh less than her  redface:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 08:00:57 PM
Anyway, apart from me 'plug in diagnostics'  test next Monday, or is it the Monday after  Shrugs:, that'll be it now for another few years.
I knew there was nowt wrong. angel1
THE Bear IS invincible! happy088
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Just One More on November 02, 2010, 08:16:11 PM
Glad to hear all's OK Growler, your Dr sounds just like mine, it's like having a chat down the pub, totally at ease
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on November 02, 2010, 08:26:51 PM
I suspect your 'emissions' reading will be high though.  ;D
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 08:38:34 PM
I suspect your 'emissions' reading will be high though.  ;D

....and WHAT, pray, is THAT supposed to mean ey, EY? evil:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2010, 08:46:16 PM
Growler is an farty bear  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 02, 2010, 08:53:09 PM
Growler is an farty bear  noooo:

I suspect she's referring to the other end of the emmisions exit. evil:

However, giving the benefit of the doubt like, she could be referring to the undoubted large amounts of pleasantness love and affection that radiates from and around me like a mid morning sunny day in the Med. cloud9:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 10:37:44 AM

I weighed nine stone ten pounds from about 18 to forty-ish no matter what I ate or drank...

Look at me now...  noooo:

There's nothing to you  eeek:

No woman wants a man to weigh less than her  redface:

 rubschin:

Ponder not BM .... As every woman knows... It takes a big hammer to wack in a big nail or a large screwdriver to ...... well I'm sure you get the idea.  whistle:!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 10:44:21 AM
I am now told that the drug I take to control my diabetes has a side effect in that it prevents weight loss ... in fact tests have shown that it will pile weight on to users.
No wonder I am struggling to control my weight ~ currently 20 stone and I am not proud of it!
I eat less and less but still the weight won't shift. I even gained weight in hospital on a strict diet!
Exercise would be good but angina prevents this.
They are talking about trying me on some new wonder drug that controls diabetes and helps one to shed weight.... but it means daily self administered injections and has side effects of its own  scared2:

Hence this morning's blood tests prior to the diabetic clinic meeting with the consultant who will decide if I can try the new drug.


The blood was still red ~ such a disappointment!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 03, 2010, 11:32:39 AM
Daily injections  scared2:

Must be most frustrating though ..all this medication, side effects, trying new things, going back to the old stuff, hospitals , doctors and the like  noooo:

It's a good job you have us take it out on  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2010, 11:36:50 AM
This reminds me that I have a quackery visit tomorrow for my fasting blood test for fooking diabetes  cussing:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 03, 2010, 11:38:29 AM
Is that at Hogwarts?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 11:40:45 AM
 

This reminds me that I have a quackery visit tomorrow for my fasting blood test for fooking diabetes  cussing:

Sinister:

I can do the injections if you need showing how .... spent 9 months doing it to myself!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 03, 2010, 11:43:05 AM
and still no babby  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 11:59:11 AM
and still no babby  noooo:


NO MORE Babbies thank you!  evil:


Anywhoo I was using a needle not a turkey baster!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 03, 2010, 12:51:55 PM
Surgery have rang me back.
I nearly filled me kecks on the spot. scared2:

The doc I saw yesterday is a trainee, and consequently Mrs head quack has to review all his notes and stuff every day.
She's told him I need some blood tests now to see if I'm really human or a real bear or summat. Shrugs:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 02:10:54 PM

Oooooooh! I had some of those on Saturday afternoon and another lot this morning OWCH!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2010, 02:19:33 PM
Surgery have rang me back.
I nearly filled me kecks on the spot. scared2:

The doc I saw yesterday is a trainee, and consequently Mrs head quack has to review all his notes and stuff every day.
She's told him I need some blood tests now to see if I'm really human or a real bear or summat. Shrugs:

So the nice human quack has not yet been trained in the shitty ways of "normal" doctors.  noooo:  Fooking typical
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 03, 2010, 02:43:23 PM
SWWLTBO went to the surgery for her flu jab this morning. Nurse did the jabbing but Her Ladyship reports that our sole GP was observed to be wandering around with a beatific smile on his face, seemingly "Away with the fairies".
He is often like this.
I suspect, as holder to the keys to the drugs cupboard, he is using as well as distributing anti-depressants.

I like the guy as he is never judgemental and always seems "happy".  whistle:

When consulting him over the time he has been here I have found it best to only give him the immediate facts as he is clearly unable to remember any conversation longer than two sentences. His usual prescription is an immediate referral to the hospital for "tests" and a subsequent follow up by a consultant.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2010, 05:06:00 PM
And he earns £100,00 p.a.  Keeeeell him
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 03, 2010, 07:15:39 PM
I was werking at a main stealer out in Wales today, and the owner popped in to check things are going smoothly.
He's a full time quack/skin consultant specialist apparently.

Bit of an od bod by all accounts apparently, and judging by his looks, I wouldn't like to cross him. scared2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 03, 2010, 07:43:07 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 03, 2010, 07:47:58 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 03, 2010, 07:54:14 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?

How the feck should I know...?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 03, 2010, 07:54:50 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?
Now THAT did actually make me chortle out loud! lol:

You get todays award for the smoothest departure for going completely 100% off topic.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 03, 2010, 08:03:13 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?

How the feck should I know...?  Shrugs:

Well go and bloody well ask him.  ::)

Moaniomondonious wants to know, cus he's interested. Most admirable.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 03, 2010, 08:26:04 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?

How the feck should I know...?  Shrugs:

Well go and bloody well ask him.  ::)

Moaniomondonious wants to know, cus he's interested. Most admirable.

I'll go and see him tomorrer and take a picture like... walk past is owse twice a day with the dog...
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 03, 2010, 08:27:02 PM
...and tomorrow you'll be casing the joint , taking snappy snaps . Welcome to the neighbourhood  scared2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: tel on November 04, 2010, 10:02:21 AM
Ural - haven't seen one of those for ages.

Bit of a plodder, but will go on for ever.

Toolkit - 2 spanners and a screwdriver.  ;D
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 04, 2010, 11:06:13 AM
Back from the quack and the fasting blood test. Nurse faffed around for ages then got the blood out and said right, we will get that tested for cholestorol. I said that I thought I was being tested for sugar.

I now have to go back for another fasting blood test tomorrow  cussing:

Then saw Dr Quack himself. WHat a weirdo  scared2:

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 04, 2010, 11:08:44 AM
Ural - haven't seen one of those for ages.

Bit of a plodder, but will go on for ever.

Toolkit - 2 spanners and a screwdriver.  ;D

 lol:

And a large hammer!
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 04, 2010, 11:10:25 AM
Back from the quack and the fasting blood test. Nurse faffed around for ages then got the blood out and said right, we will get that tested for cholestorol. I said that I thought I was being tested for sugar.

I now have to go back for another fasting blood test tomorrow  cussing:

Then saw Dr Quack himself. WHat a weirdo  scared2:

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:

Did he offer you a joint like...?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-cool18.gif&hash=3bdf661e5511b984f749c46c2254f65b6d6ccb1f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 04, 2010, 11:18:20 AM

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:

Did he tell you to don't worry , bout a thing. Cos every little thing, is gonna be alright  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 04, 2010, 11:20:45 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 04, 2010, 11:21:04 AM

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:

Did he tell you to don't worry , bout a thing. Cos every little thing, is gonna be alright  whistle:

 drumroll:

happy001
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 04, 2010, 11:21:51 AM
Ural - haven't seen one of those for ages.

Bit of a plodder, but will go on for ever.

Toolkit - 2 spanners and a screwdriver.  ;D

 lol:

And a large hammer!

Is that what a Uralogist does?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 04, 2010, 11:28:46 AM
Ural - haven't seen one of those for ages.

Bit of a plodder, but will go on for ever.

Toolkit - 2 spanners and a screwdriver.  ;D

 lol:

And a large hammer!

Is that what a Uralogist does?

Bloody feels like it when they remove a catheter after an operation!  redface:

Or perhaps that was a Urologist.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Just One More on November 04, 2010, 07:50:27 PM

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:

Did he tell you to don't worry , bout a thing. Cos every little thing, is gonna be alright  whistle:

Another tea-spluttering moment from the VP  ;D
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 05:15:25 AM

Very old school with rimless glasses, floppy bow tie, waistcoat and the accent. All this sat oddly with the Bob Marley shrine in the corner of his office  rubschin:
He seemed happy to chat and was eager to point out that LSD was officially safer than collapso  eeek:

Did he tell you to don't worry , bout a thing. Cos every little thing, is gonna be alright  whistle:

Another tea-spluttering moment from the VP  ;D

Post of the week IMHO!  happy088
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 08:03:07 AM
Off to see nursey again  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 08:19:05 AM
Off to see nursey again  ::)

Those prossers, all sorts of names they use eh?  noooo:

Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2010, 08:22:32 AM
Do they charge extra with the use of uniforms ???
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 08:27:36 AM
Do they charge extra with the use of uniforms ???

I wouldn't know like...  angel1
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2010, 10:11:00 AM
Do they charge extra with the use of uniforms ???

Not if the client wears them, allegedly.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 10:34:38 AM
I asked nursey what the name was for that foldy bit of your arm inside the elbow where blood gets taken from. SHe had no idea. Nor do I.  rubschin:

Same applies to the area behind your knee.  rubschin: And is there a name for the top of your foot (other than "top of your foot" obviously)  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2010, 10:38:45 AM
Is it not the "crook" of your elbow/knee?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 10:40:15 AM
I know where the taint skin is

Top of the foot is the instep
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 10:41:06 AM
 Mort: Shrugs:

Pirate: you are wrong  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 10:42:11 AM
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_instep_of_the_foot
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2010, 10:45:17 AM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbookbuilder.cast.org%2Fbookresources%2F16770%2Fglossary_9742.jpg&hash=f8d03316f9ca4e386e71f6fda9b395f626a84bf6)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2010, 10:46:29 AM
Father was a shoe shop manager for most of his life ~ I promise you "Instep" is the top bit of the foot between the toes and the ankle. It is the bot where the shoe laces do up and hurts if you have the laces too tight.
The bit underneath the foot is the "Arch".

Pirate is right!


As is Uncle.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 10:48:38 AM
Nick is an mong!  point:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 10:49:27 AM
That can't be right  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2010, 10:50:07 AM
However, nursey should know these things.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 10:52:17 AM
I said to her this morning that I always look away when someone is taking blood. SHe said that she does the same  eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2010, 10:54:27 AM

Why do they always say "Just a sharp scratch"?


It is no such thing. It is a sharp prick!

I'd even be happy if they just said "This may hurt a bit" ... at least that would be honest.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 11:07:13 AM

Why do they always say "Just a sharp scratch"?


It is no such thing. It is a sharp prick!

I'd even be happy if they just said "This may hurt a bit" ... at least that would be honest.

What if she said 'it's only a little prick'...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2010, 11:15:54 AM
That's just what your nursey says  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 11:16:58 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 05, 2010, 11:22:26 AM
Always used to say "just a prick" but its been "just a scratch" for some time now. Probably some guidelines from on high.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2010, 11:46:20 AM
You're right Uncle ~ I did ask the staff nurse in A&E on Saturday.

She laughingly confirmed that they are instructed not to use "Prick" in the warning.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 06:38:42 PM
Years ago, one Christmas, when printed t-shirts, and tie dye were the fashion, so my dad told me, an ex gave me some boxer shorts with a print of a hypodermic and underneath it said "Don't worry, you'll only feel a little prick" Scarred me for life... noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 08:45:33 PM
Not wishing to hijack a post or anyfink…but I too had a fasting blood test today…The usual Phlebotomist is female and she is a petite blond, getting on a bit mind, but still quite shaggable… eyes: there is always a bit of banter between us, and you know that she's only barely dressed under her white coat...every time I go in and sit with my left arm on the pillow, she re-arranges it slightly, the result being that my left hand always brushes against her left breast…or is compressed near her nether regions…not deliberately, I might add on my part…honest m'lud… angel1

Today I go in…different nurse… scared2: not so shaggable, admittedly…she studies the screen monitor for a minute, and then re-arranges my arm, and my left hand brushes against her left breast…conspiracy theory…

The same with the dental hygienist…she always leans over and buries her tits in my right shoulder and neck…mind you they are quite large…Don't suppose that she could much else with em, like  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 08:47:56 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2010, 08:49:22 PM
We do it on purpose like  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 08:50:31 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 08:51:47 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?

No, a massagerist...  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 08:57:45 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?

No, a massagerist...  ::)

prolly a Masseur then... point:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 08:58:37 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?

No, a massagerist...  ::)

no.......  ::)

prolly a Masseur then... point:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 08:59:49 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?

No, a massagerist...  ::)

no.......  ::)

prolly a Masseur then... point:

 point:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 09:03:33 PM
I had a massage in China like that once...  noooo:

With a Phlebotomist or a dental hygienist?

No, a massagerist...  ::)

no.......  ::)

prolly a Masseur then... point:

 point:


Arse.  redface:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Pirate on November 05, 2010, 09:07:29 PM
You love me really...
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2010, 09:11:23 PM
Don't leave Snoopy out now will ya  ;)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_sTl28qiTNJ0%2FSSljYAVplGI%2FAAAAAAAAAwk%2FXbziXzC5P0g%2Fs400%2Fpirate-dog1.jpg%26amp%3Bsa%3DX%26amp%3Bei%3DnXLUTKyYJNW6jAfOsPzKCQ%26amp%3Bved%3D0CAQQ8wc4Gw%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNGgMgJCBxvo2P0wZZiwX6BvSj-s3g&hash=33ab9c7fd1ac8f550ed51dacdbe954392d8b75cd)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2010, 09:11:23 PM
You love me really...

 eeek:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 09, 2010, 09:32:15 AM
Receptionist calls. "Can you come in to discuss the results of your blood tests non-urgently?"

When?

 "Now!"


 scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 09, 2010, 09:42:56 AM
Oh dear!

Well if it is diabetes try to avoid Metformin ...... Makes you feel sick and you fart a lot.

I use Pioglitazone and diet to control mine.

My consultant has looked at the new "wonder" self injection with a view to switching me to it but says it makes most people feel very sick and you have to inject twice a day.... 45 mins before meals. In his opinion not worth trying unless you eat at regular times.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: GROWLER on November 09, 2010, 09:49:09 AM
Nah. They'll have discovered that he is not actually of this planet. ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 09, 2010, 11:21:59 AM
Receptionist calls. "Can you come in to discuss the results of your blood tests non-urgently?"

When?

 "Now!"


 scared2: scared2:


 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 09, 2010, 11:23:00 AM
Cholesterol a bit high and plans to "keep an eye" on slightly "elevated" blood sugar.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 09, 2010, 11:24:06 AM
Cheese and chocolate out then.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: tel on November 09, 2010, 11:28:44 AM
Cheese and chocolate out then.

Pretty much everything out, especially booze.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 09, 2010, 11:30:10 AM
 sad32:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 09, 2010, 11:44:19 AM

Bet you fibbed about how many ciggies you smoke  razz:





I did yesterday  redface:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 09, 2010, 11:46:38 AM
Nope, don't see the point anymore. And whatever you tell them they prolly double anyhoo.
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 09, 2010, 06:00:57 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?

How the feck should I know...?  Shrugs:

Well go and bloody well ask him.  ::)

Moaniomondonious wants to know, cus he's interested. Most admirable.

I'll go and see him tomorrer and take a picture like... walk past is owse twice a day with the dog...

Still no picture, I notice  whistle:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 09, 2010, 06:08:50 PM
Bloke up the road here is just retiring 'from the NHS'...

He has a holiday home here, a 4 x 4 and a Ural (a Russian motorbike)...

He has just shipped out a 600cc Yamaha off road bike, an old Triumph Bonneville and a Porsche Carrera... he has another one at home apparently...

NHS eh...?  Banghead

Wot year Bonnie, please?

How the feck should I know...?  Shrugs:

Well go and bloody well ask him.  ::)

Moaniomondonious wants to know, cus he's interested. Most admirable.

I'll go and see him tomorrer and take a picture like... walk past is owse twice a day with the dog...

Still no picture, I notice  whistle:

Next day he had fitted a garage door and returned to the UK....  ::)
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Nick on November 12, 2010, 12:41:44 PM
I have just got back from my 10.40 quack appointment  evil:

I can see why he runs so late, I was with him half an hour while he drew graphs and pictures and grumbled about the PCT and the coalition and we ended up swapping stories of gummint idiocies. I quite like the Bob Marley fan now. And his cat  confused:
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Snoopy on November 12, 2010, 12:48:15 PM
Purely as an aside I see from my latest prescription (just collected) that the Doctor is a "MEDDYG" in Welsh.

Fvck knows how you pronounce it properly but my memory of Welsh for beginners classes suggest it should be "MITHEGG" (Short I and in the right accent with no stress on the first syllable).
Title: Re: Goin' the quacks
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2010, 07:16:36 AM
Purely as an aside I see from my latest prescription (just collected) that the Doctor is a "MEDDYG" in Welsh.

Fvck knows how you pronounce it properly but my memory of Welsh for beginners classes suggest it should be "MITHEGG" (Short I and in the right accent with no stress on the first syllable).

More Information Than Has Ever Given Gabfest  rubschin: