The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Roy Cropper on October 29, 2010, 05:17:11 PM

Title: Christmas is here
Post by: Roy Cropper on October 29, 2010, 05:17:11 PM
 Just seen a house complete with xmas tree in the window and front room full of xmas trimmings  eeek:. FFS what is wrong with these w@nkers ????
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Snoopy on October 29, 2010, 05:24:12 PM
An inflated Father Christmas was put on his roof by one bloke in the village last year. Now deflated it is still there flapping in the breeze as he fell off the ladder (Did a BM) and has refused to go back up and take it down.
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 05:56:51 PM
An inflated Father Christmas was put on his roof by one bloke in the village last year. Now deflated it is still there flapping in the breeze as he fell off the ladder (Did a BM) and has refused to go back up and take it down.

happy001
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Pastis on October 29, 2010, 06:07:11 PM
Christmas is where?  I'm effing off to Tunisia if I can wangle it  Sinister:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2010, 06:32:41 PM
SO you mean I have to go out for lunch with Miss D on my own, like  eyes:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2010, 06:45:16 PM
Xmas in Cyprus...
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Snoopy on October 30, 2010, 04:21:51 AM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 04:25:17 AM
Popcorn:

Nothing to report yet...  noooo:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: GROWLER on October 30, 2010, 10:39:39 AM
Just seen a house complete with xmas tree in the window and front room full of xmas trimmings  eeek:. FFS what is wrong with these w@nkers ????

All right Roy boy. angel1

'Happy' tossers that hide behind life's miseries, that's what.

Some  Wankah: up the road from here, leaves his blue LED's wrapped around his front garden tree AND switched on, all bloody year 'round now. ::)
Couple of others, including the tosser directly opposite, leaves his dingly dangly lights hanging from his roof gutter permanently now too. ::)
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: beerhead on October 30, 2010, 01:42:05 PM
i was working in Japan once just before Christmas and they had got their Christmas/Christian symbolism a mixed up. I bought an 18" high crucified Santa Claus which I will proudly display on my front doorAFTER DECEMBER THE FIRST !
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2010, 02:17:08 PM
i was working in Japan once just before Christmas and they had got their Christmas/Christian symbolism a mixed up. I bought an 18" high crucified Santa Claus which I will proudly display on my front doorAFTER DECEMBER THE FIRST !

 lol:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: TG on October 30, 2010, 02:18:09 PM
An inflated Father Christmas was put on his roof by one bloke in the village last year. Now deflated it is still there flapping in the breeze as he fell off the ladder (Did a BM) and has refused to go back up and take it down.

happy001

One of our patients husbands did this recently. He ran a garage that sold cars and motorbikes.

The garage had a bit of a dodgy roof so he decided to go up and fix it himself rather than pay someone to do it.

He was in his seventies and told his wife "I am just going up on the roof to fix it cos I am a tightwad'

He was wearing flipflops.

A while later the wife noticed he had not returned and went to find him. He was on the garage floor with his head twisted under his body (and in the version we were told with the contents of said head scattered about the place) between the motorbikes beneath a big hole in the roof.

Sometimes 'doing a BM' does not turn out well.

True story.

Anywho, long time no speak. How are we all?  ;D

Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:19:46 PM
There could be money in this. HOw about a VP Crucified Santa toy that BM could sell. He could knock up a few crosses, nail some toy Santas to them and corner the market in, um, crucified Santas
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2010, 02:21:13 PM
An inflated Father Christmas was put on his roof by one bloke in the village last year. Now deflated it is still there flapping in the breeze as he fell off the ladder (Did a BM) and has refused to go back up and take it down.

happy001

One of our patients husbands did this recently. He ran a garage that sold cars and motorbikes.

The garage had a bit of a dodgy roof so he decided to go up and fix it himself rather than pay someone to do it.

He was in his seventies and told his wife "I am just going up on the roof to fix it cos I am a tightwad'

He was wearing flipflops.

A while later the wife noticed he had not returned and went to find him. He was on the garage floor with his head twisted under his body (and in the version we were told with the contents of said head scattered about the place) between the motorbikes beneath a big hole in the roof.

Sometimes 'doing a BM' does not turn out well.

True story.

Anywho, long time no speak. How are we all?  ;D



Welcome TG. And how is the fragrant Mrs TG? We used to use a handyman in London called Mr Angel. He did anything. He fell off a ladder and ended up as jam too (not at our house I hasten to add)
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 30, 2010, 02:23:13 PM
Ended up as jam  ...Nick's career as a counsellor was short lived  noooo:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2010, 02:58:58 PM
Some  Wankah: up the road from here, leaves his blue LED's wrapped around his front garden tree AND switched on, all bloody year 'round now. ::)

Is it the police station?
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 01, 2010, 07:47:19 AM
54 days til the big day  noooo:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: GROWLER on November 01, 2010, 08:25:23 AM
54 days til the big day  noooo:

55 days before it's gone, and we can thankfully then  say it's another 364 too.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Barman on November 01, 2010, 08:33:19 AM
Lets not forget the Xmas emotiwhotsits eh....?  whistle:

Xmas1: Xmas2: Xmas3: Xmas4: Xmas5: Xmas6: Xmas7:
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Snoopy on November 01, 2010, 08:49:13 AM
A special one for Growler (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileys4me.com%2Fgetsmiley.php%3Fshow%3D1905&hash=498b00ff3a3688a337d4db9eed3c8f96e4b54ad8)
Title: Re: Christmas is here
Post by: Snoopy on November 01, 2010, 08:50:34 AM
One for the Laydees of the board (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileys4me.com%2Fgetsmiley.php%3Fshow%3D1898&hash=804e6ea8f1db5246e8515115b47bf5702c62e45f)