The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Restaurant => Topic started by: Snoopy on October 27, 2010, 11:58:43 AM
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I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
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lol: Do not drop pickled octopus down your cleavage it is neither clever or funny.
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Never microwave anything damp
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Never chop vegetables whilst nakid.
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or fry sausages
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Never cut up a chilli and then have a wee, or rub your eye, without washing your hands...(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-angry016.gif&hash=7e92a00c45354faf2e91ff4ca00fffc4558d1f18) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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Never look a grilled horse in the mouth.
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A casserole cooks quicker with the oven turned on redface:
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Fried onion and garlic smell good whatever the time of day.
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Always attack a winkle with a pin
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The tin with no label always contains peaches and not what you thought.
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Don't try and get your children to eat purple potatoes.
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Don't try and get your children to eat purple potatoes.
eeek:
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Don't try and get your children to eat purple potatoes.
Read about that somewhere...a new strain of potatoes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-11477327 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-11477327)
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Don't open the 200g packet of 8) 'cool' tortilla chips until the chilli is cooked.. redface:
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Don't open the 200g packet of 8) 'cool' tortilla chips until the chilli is cooked.. redface:
Scoffed the lot?
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Oh yes...
Another top tip...not applicable to those who use fresh lemons as I usually do...
When opening a 'Jif' lemon squeezy thingy, do not look at the eye of the bottle while squeezing at the same time... Angry9:
Suppose you could same the same for a girl giving you a blow...Oh never mind...
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Oh yes...
Another top tip...not applicable to those who use fresh lemons as I usually do...
When opening a 'Jif' lemon squeezy thingy, do not look at the eye of the bottle while squeezing at the same time... Angry9:
Suppose you could same the same for a girl giving you a blow...Oh never mind...
How close to Nick to you live...? rubschin:
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Miles away... cloud9:
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Miles away... cloud9:
No excuse there then... noooo:
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A watched pot means that you should get out more.
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A watched pot means that you should get out more.
lol:
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When you place a saucepan on the ring of an electric hob, it is always a different one that gets hot.
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Never defrost meat in the microwave at setting one whilst pissed.
You will invariably find you have set said microwave at warp ten and your kitchen will explode and you will have to go to the takeaway.
Your partner will never let you fecking forget it either.
noooo:
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Never defrost meat in the microwave at setting one whilst pissed.
You will invariably find you have set said microwave at warp ten and your kitchen will explode and you will have to go to the takeaway.
Your partner will never let you fecking forget it either.
noooo:
When was this, 1975? noooo:
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Do not attempt to remove a saucepan lid with a metal handle from a saucepan which has been simmering on the hob for over an hour. sad32:
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Do not attempt to remove a saucepan lid with a metal handle from a saucepan which has been simmering on the hob for over an hour. sad32:
Why? Shrugs:
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doh: Because my dear chap the handle gets incredibly hot and then you drop the bleddy thing on your foot.
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Do not attempt to remove a saucepan lid with a metal handle from a saucepan which has been simmering on the hob for over an hour. sad32:
Why? Shrugs:
doh: Because my dear chap the handle gets incredibly hot and then you drop the bleddy thing on your foot.
Arsk a silly question ..... etc whistle:
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doh: Because my dear chap the handle gets incredibly hot and then you drop the bleddy thing on your foot.
[snigger] redface:
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Never eat Corned Beef Hash, with added brown sauce, holding the fork in one hand as you type with the other. redface:
Lesson: Brown sauce get into every nook and cranny of the keyboard Banghead
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Wash it angel1
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Don't have any keyboard washing liquid ~ will windscreen wash with antifreeze do?
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Lick it clean ....because you can ;)
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His tongue work is legendary angel1
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My fame precedes me cloud9:
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My fame precedes me cloud9:
As does your tongue. . .
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.dixcdn.com%2Finpictures%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F02%2FBig-Tongue-Dog.jpg&hash=679f4dc56544809891ba8495866fda556998fb57)
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Like Heineken ..... reaches the parts etc ;)
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Please remember that a dog is not just for Christmas...If it is carved correctly, it will last until New Year...thank you...that is all...
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evil:
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Having inadvertantly punctured your bottle of carbonated water half way down the bottle stand as far as possible from the resulting squirtfest. censored:
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lol: lol: lol:
Could you not get your thumb over it like...?
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I tried but was too busy trying to get the sodding stuff out of my eyes. sad24:
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I tried but was too busy trying to get the sodding stuff out of my eyes. sad24:
Oh... noooo:
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I tried but was too busy trying to get the sodding stuff out of my eyes. sad24:
Did you puncture it with your deadly hard stare?
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noooo: How I wish that it was something as sensible. redface: It was with my deadly sharp knife that I was trying to remove the extra tight, extra thick, very clingy shrink wrapped plastic with. evil: