The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Uncle Mort on September 17, 2010, 08:55:29 AM
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cussing:
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doh:
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Yargh:
::) Oh give it back to him ~ he'll only sulk. char090
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I will too.
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Unlocked...
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I prefer the new one. whistle:
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I prefer the new one. whistle:
doh:
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Me too angel1
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It has risen, praise the lord (insert viagra joke of your choice here)
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Should it be changed it to The All New Uncle Mort's Haaaawaaay... It's Friday thread...? rubschin:
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Should it be changed it to The All New Uncle Mort's Haaaawaaay... It's Friday thread...? rubschin:
Yes
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I feel that I have missed out on two celebrations. sad32:
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I feel that I have missed out on two celebrations. sad32:
I put a fiver in the collection tin for you to see off the old one Miss C. That's £10 now, if you can forward it to me in the near future it'll be appreciated whistle: whistle:
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I feel that I have missed out on two celebrations. sad32:
I put a fiver in the collection tin for you to see off the old one Miss C. That's £10 now, if you can forward it to me in the near future it'll be appreciated whistle: whistle:
Who took it out of the tin then...? rubschin:
Three buttons, a brass washer and an old ½p was all that was in it when I got it.... evil:
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How very kind of you JOM I will send the money via the ether immediately.
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Hello dere Miss C,
Ma uncle whO was de representatif of a major intenational company has died leaving $millions in a Bank in Nigeria. I can offer you a share in dis treasure hif you sends me your bank details including account number and PIN.
I can hassure you dat dis is han honest transaction.
Repekfully yours
BM
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evil:
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I haven't had a drink for .................... redface:
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I haven't had a drink for .................... redface:
That's OK Tipsy ~ One step at a time.
If you can't manage a day we'll accept minutes...... Or part thereof ::)
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;D
;D
hic ..
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Haaaawaaaay... it's my last full week of working EVER! happy088
As from next week I'm working part-time and retiring at the end of November.
Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
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Woooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooooo
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Jolly Good ~ Well Done
Now you can have the joys of various government departments constantly asking why you aren't working. I was "retired" 10 years ago but they still keep trying.
They like to re-assess people to see if your health has improved sufficiently to enable you to do "some work". They even suggested I might like "occupational therapy" ~ In the end I got my Cardiology Consultant to step on them firmly but they still send their silly letters every few months. I have told them that if and when I have a heart transplant or God provides a miracle they will be the very first people I share the news with. That one brought a "Jobs Advisor" to my door ~ I told her to piss off.
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Well I've told HMRC but I'm guessing it's going to a little take a while for the income tax to be sorted. (a couple of years probably confused:)
Apart from that shrugs:
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It will largely depend on whether you will be claiming any benefits/tax credits etc. Now or in the future. Even if you make no claims (and by not doing so you will possibly be robbing yourself of money you are entitled to) there is also the matter that your NI contributions will cease and that will bring them round faster than you would believe possible. Threats about the effect it will have on your OAP entitlements etc.
Trust me I've been there.
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If you've done your 30 years contribs, they ignore you.
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Only if you are signed on and being "credited". I have more than enough contributions but they now keep asking if I would care to "top-up" Banghead
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I signed off cos I had max contribs - they then don't want to know you.
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My understanding is that I have paid enough to qualify for the full state pension when that comes round.
Still, if they pester me I'm sure I can get hours of fun out of it.
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My understanding is that I have paid enough to qualify for the full state pension when that comes round.
Still, if they pester me I'm sure I can get hours of fun out of it.
Oh I do ~ I have a file of letters that even Dippy would envy! ;D
A couple of weeks ago I had two identical 5 page letters, both with 3 identical enclosed leaflets, from the Dept of Work and Pensions (Pensions Branch). The following day I had two more envelopes containing exact copies.
I sent them all back with a polite note saying that one was sufficient and surely the resultant savings would help the Government meet its self imposed economy targets.
Yesterday I got them all back in one large envelope together with a Compliments Slip that said "We return herewith the documents you recently sent us. Copies have been taken"
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Congrats Uncle....that must be a nice feeling cloud9:
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I do feel a bit "demob happy"
Next Wednesday I have a dept dinner at Smiths of Smithfields happy088
And the number of people who say "we must have a drink" when I tell them I'm off. noooo:
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I went to a joint early retirement and leaving do a few days ago.
One of the blokes has decided he wants to ideally work a couple of days a week and quite fancies odd jobbing stuff etc - a complete change from what he was doing here.
He had several different types of business cards made up for people when he left and handed these out at the do....one was for his handyman service ...the other for his gigolo career lol:
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Have you called him yet?
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I went to a joint early retirement and leaving do a few days ago.
One of the blokes has decided he wants to ideally work a couple of days a week and quite fancies odd jobbing stuff etc - a complete change from what he was doing here.
He had several different types of business cards made up for people when he left and handed these out at the do....one was for his handyman service ...the other for his gigolo career lol:
Cool ~ good for him. At least he is approaching it in the right spirit. ;D
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Have you called him yet?
Voicemail ::)
lol:
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Well done Uncle! happ096
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I do feel a bit "demob happy"
Next Wednesday I have a dept dinner at Smiths of Smithfields happy088
And the number of people who say "we must have a drink" when I tell them I'm off. noooo:
Well done Uncle. ;D
Are we to expect a brand new set of 'Hawaaaaay.... It's Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday' threads now?
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Please no.
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rubschin:
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You wouldn't be that cruel to the rest of us would you Unc ? sad24:
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I don't sit for long in front of the computer at home so it's likely that you'll see less of me.
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I don't sit for long in front of the computer at home so it's likely that you'll see less of me.
sad24:
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I don't sit for long in front of the computer at home so it's likely that you'll see less of me.
They could make you admin now....after all one of the requirements is that you sit at home all day doing nothing whistle:
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I don't sit for long in front of the computer at home so it's likely that you'll see less of me.
They could make you admin now....after all one of the requirements is that you sit at home all day doing nothing whistle:
Somebody is looking for a smacked arse! evil:
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Have you had your afternoon snooze now then ? ;)
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Saucy sausage! I'll get you one of these days you see if I don't! spider:
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Haaaawaaaay... it's my last full week of working EVER! happy088
As from next week I'm working part-time and retiring at the end of November.
Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Excellent news Uncle.
I have a spare pipe and pair of slippers ready for shipping. whistle:
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Haaaawaaaay... it's my last full week of working EVER! happy088
As from next week I'm working part-time and retiring at the end of November.
Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Excellent news Uncle.
I have a spare pipe and pair of slippers ready for shipping. whistle:
Matching cardie?
<runs out of room screaming>
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I don't sit for long in front of the computer at home so it's likely that you'll see less of me.
They could make you admin now....after all one of the requirements is that you sit at home all day doing nothing whistle:
Oi! cussing:
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The truth hurts whistle:
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The truth hurts whistle:
It does... sad24:
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Its not nice to take the mickey out of the elderly Miss D. whistle:
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Is this a new VP ruling ? rubschin:
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Is this a new VP ruling ? rubschin:
Yes! cussing:
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jeezzzzz ..I said jeezzzzz
Any other new rules I should be aware of ?
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jeezzzzz ..I said jeezzzzz
Any other new rules I should be aware of ?
lol: lol: lol:
I'm sure there are loads... eveilgrin:
You will be informed when you break one... whistle:
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Haawwaaayyyy! ;D
Nearly forgot... redface:
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FECK OFF! cussing:
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FECK OFF! cussing:
Wot he said evil:
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I am off fecking even as I type... redface:
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Aren't they a charming pair. ;)
Anyway, I'm losing that "that Friday feeling" Good innit?
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Aren't they a charming pair. ;)
Anyway, I'm losing that "that Friday feeling" Good innit?
I still haven't lost it after eight years away from work... redface:
Still something special about the weekend... rubschin:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Where do you get that then like...? rubschin:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Self inflicted wounds win no sympathy or medals in this man's army buster. point:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Where do you get that then like...? rubschin:
In Paphos...The Old Fishing Shack. On draught bloooody great. cloud9:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Where do you get that then like...? rubschin:
In Paphos...The Old Fishing Shack. On draught bloooody great. cloud9:
rubschin:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Where do you get that then like...? rubschin:
In Paphos...The Old Fishing Shack. On draught bloooody great. cloud9:
rubschin:
As long as you drink it in moderation noooo:
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Friday night = cyder nite
Westons old scrumpy 7.3%
Saturday usually a bit of a tough day. noooo:
Where do you get that then like...? rubschin:
In Paphos...The Old Fishing Shack. On draught bloooody great. cloud9:
rubschin:
As long as you drink it in moderation noooo:
happy001
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Working today ~ losing interest rapidly.
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But it is Friday, the weekend beckons. cloud9:
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The weekend is here! cloud9:
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Haaaawaaay like. cloud9:
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Haaaawwwwwaaaaaaayyyyyy Uncle.... cloud9:
Day off again?
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I is at work. cry:
Next Friday is my very last day of work. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
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I is at work. cry:
Next Friday is my very last day of work. cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
Yay! happ096
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Haaaawaaay... It's Friday and the very last one.
cloud9:
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cloud9:
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Haawwaayyy!
I've been to Lidl.... rubschin:
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Haawwaayyy!
I've been to Lidl.... rubschin:
Uncle will be expecting more than a couple of cans of budget lager for his retirement bash. noooo:
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Haawwaayyy!
I've been to Lidl.... rubschin:
Uncle will be expecting more than a couple of cans of budget lager for his retirement bash. noooo:
I got some cheap wine... what could possibly be wrong with it...? Shrugs:
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Tell us tomorrow morning noooo: if you still have the use of your hands.
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Tell us tomorrow morning noooo: if you still have the use of your hands.
And my eyes... scared2:
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Haawwaayyy!
I've been to Lidl.... rubschin:
Uncle will be expecting more than a couple of cans of budget lager for his retirement bash. noooo:
Had my retirement bash yesterday. 'twas most excellent. happy088 ~ got all choked up when tried to make speech. sad24:
Going to pub shortly.
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Haawwaayyy!
I've been to Lidl.... rubschin:
Uncle will be expecting more than a couple of cans of budget lager for his retirement bash. noooo:
Had my retirement bash yesterday. 'twas most excellent. happy088 ~ got all choked up when tried to make speech. sad24:
Going to pub shortly.
Remember to lock up the gold watch before you go. ;)
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Enjoy your drinkies Uncle M happy088
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Going to pub shortly - 1:04pm rubschin:
I imagine that'll be quite a few halves of mild whistle:
Good on yer Uncle ;D
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Haaaawaaay... It's Friday and the very last one.
cloud9:
Bugger is the world due to end tonight then?
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Haaaawaaay... It's Friday and the very last one.
cloud9:
Bugger is the world due to end tonight then?
Any moment no-
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;) lol:
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Uncle is in the spirit world now
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.alcoholcontents.com%2FLiquor%2Fliquors.jpg%26amp%3Bsa%3DX%26amp%3Bei%3DTBTwTJajCJX34gbi2sjZBg%26amp%3Bved%3D0CAQQ8wc%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNFJz-CPxiei6AEuONmiLVyL47OTCQ&hash=0a612d9f39e30ce8acebc2066b872c510f851eb6)
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happy001
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
You will still not have enough time to do all you want to.
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
You will still not have enough time to do all you want to.
[/quote
DS is thinking of match.com noooo:
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match.com rubschin:
well... I might strike it lucky.
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
You will still not have enough time to do all you want to.
[/quote
DS is thinking of match.com noooo:
quote] [\quote]quote] [\quote]quote]
Am I?
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Well you are now!
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match.com rubschin:
well... I might strike it lucky.
drumroll:
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
You will still not have enough time to do all you want to.
Oh you are Soooooo right. I sometimes wonder how I ever found time to go to work.
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I am now sober.
Just realised today really is the first day of the rest of my life. eeek:
You will still not have enough time to do all you want to.
Oh you are Soooooo right. I sometimes wonder how I ever found time to go to work.
Me too... cloud9:
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Haaaawaaay :thumbsup:
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Haaawwwaaaaayyyyyy like! Thumbs:
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Haaaawaaaay
interesting thread, can't believe it's been nearly 7 years, it's just flown by.
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Seven years nearer the grave noooo: noooo:
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:lalalala