The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on September 12, 2010, 03:27:19 PM
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Rather unpleasant, but I think I have piles. Any advice?
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Rather unpleasant, but I think I have piles. Any advice?
Anusol...
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Good for bags under your eyes as well 8)
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But depending on how bad should be easily treatable ...go and get some lotion potion .
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Good for bags under your eyes as well 8)
eeek:
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Rather unpleasant, but I think I have piles. Any advice?
Get treatment right away, it isn't a complaint you can sit on.
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Beware of Doctors with elastic bands in their hands, especially if they approach you from behind. lol:
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I shall march into Boots tomorrow and demand ANUSOL in a loud voice. I typed Bots there by mistake redface:
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Freudian slip I should think.
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I'd take the Farmer's advice pronto ;)
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Freudian slip I should think.
Oh, is it time for my Freudian slip joke? razz:
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Go on then ::)
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Go on then ::)
cloud9: cloud9: cloud9:
A man in the office chuckling to himself when a colleague comes in and asks what is so funny…
‘I made a rather embarrassing Freudian slip this morning’, he replies.
‘What’s a Freudian slip’ asks the rather dim colleague.
‘Well, I was queuing for my train ticket this morning when I noticed that the girl serving behind the counter had enormous breasts.
When I got to the front of the queue to be served I was a little flustered and instead of asking for a ticket to tooting, I asked for a ticket to titting. You see, that’s a Freudian slip when you are thinking of something else and say the wrong thing’.
‘Oh I see’ says the colleague.
The next day (somewhat predictably), it was the dim colleague sitting in the office laughing to himself and the other worker who has to ask him what is so funny.
‘Well, you know you told me about that Freudian slip thing yesterday? I had one myself this morning’.
‘What happened?’ asked the startled man.
‘Well, I was sitting having breakfast with the Mrs. this morning and instead of asking her to pass the milk I said ‘you’ve ruined my whole life you fat ugly bitch.’’
happy001
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tunble:
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Rather unpleasant, but I think I have piles. Any advice?
Are you sure? wouldn't want to transfer this to the "screening " thread. eeek:
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Thank you very much BM ~ Leave your name with the stage manager .....We'll let you know whistle:
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Rather unpleasant, but I think I have piles. Any advice?
I hate to ask but what makes you think this? If you haven't suffered from them before it is unlikely to have developed over night.
Symptoms would include at least one of: Rectal Bleeding (see toilet paper), an internal itching that you just cannot reach and an obvious (in extreme cases) "bunch of grapes" dangling when you try to wipe.
Whatever ~ take it to the doctor.
I speak as one who has suffered and is now "cured".
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I see you concur with my earlier comment Snoopy.
Nick. best to get checked out.
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I see you concur with my earlier comment Snoopy.
Nick. best to get checked out.
Indeed Uncle ... but with some you need to hammer the message in angel1
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Easily cured with a bottle of Jeyes fluid and a wire brush.
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He won't like it up 'im Captain Mainwaring
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Easily cured with a bottle of Jeyes fluid and a wire brush.
That made my eyes water... confused:
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Good for bags under your eyes as well 8)
I would imagine that piles would indeed give you bags under your eyes!
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An army Major visiting the sick soldiers in the sick bay went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front line, Sir."
"Good man," said the Major.
He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front line, Sir."
"Good man," barked the Major.
He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!
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An army Major visiting the sick soldiers in the sick bay went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front line, Sir."
"Good man," said the Major.
He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front line, Sir."
"Good man," barked the Major.
He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!
lol: lol: lol:
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How does one cure it? Are they lasered or somthink?
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Sometimes. Cauterized would be a better description.
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sick2:
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So they stick a flaming poker up your arse? eeek:
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So they stick a flaming poker up your arse? eeek:
Better than sticking it down your throat I suppose... whistle:
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So they stick a flaming poker up your arse? eeek:
They killed King Edward II that way too. whistle:
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shudder
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eveilgrin:
Grade 2-4 Piles
When symptoms have progressed past Grade 1 and haven’t cleared up within several weeks, many people turn to a surgical procedure. There are several surgical options available, depending upon the severity of the piles and the advice of your GP.
Sclerotherapy
Sclerotherapy is a procedure that involves injecting a chemical into the site of the piles. The purpose of the injection is to cut off the blood supply to the vessel. Like banding, people who have this procedure may require more than one treatment.
Rubber Band Ligation (also called “banding”)
With banding, a surgeon places a small rubber band around the base of the swollen blood vessel, cutting off its blood supply. This may cause the blood vessel to shrink and gradually disappear, and may lead to some scar tissue taking its place. This procedure is considered to be simple, although often more than one treatment may be necessary.
Haemorrhoidal Artery Ligation Operation (HALO)
In this procedure, an ultrasound devise is placed in the rectum, which helps the surgeon locate the feeding artery that gives blood to the pile. The feeding artery is then ligated (stitched), which cuts off the blood supply to the pile.
This procedure is less invasive than other surgical procedures, but may be less effective. Fewer surgeons provide HALO than surgical haemorrhoidectomy and PPH.
Haemorrhoidectomy
Surgical (Open) Haemorrhoidectomy is reserved for people with very serious cases of piles. A surgeon uses a scalpel to cut away up to three of the enlarged or swollen haemorrhoidal cushions, while the patient is under general anaesthetic. This procedure usually provides permanent relief. People who undergo this procedure usually feel post-operative pain, and will have to stay in the hospital for at least four to five days after the procedure is performed. They may not feel able to resume their normal, day-to-day activities for two weeks or more.
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[thud]
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick032.gif&hash=3d1d2d51f3033f967ef07033998b63f0734032ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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Ok I just google imaged piles.
I feel sick.
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Ok I just google imaged piles.
I feel sick.
Why would you do that...? lol:
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Ok I just google imaged piles.
I feel sick.
Why would you do that...? lol:
Madness noooo:
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Brother Wench made me! I had no idea they would be so bad! sick2:
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Brother Wench made me! I had no idea they would be so bad! sick2:
point:
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Perhaps we should invite Brother Wench on here, sounds like he would fit right in lol:
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Perhaps we should invite Brother Wench on here, sounds like he would fit right in lol:
lol: lol: lol:
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Wenchy is going to make me pay for that isnt she?
scared:
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Wenchy is going to make me pay for that isnt she?
scared:
point:
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I'm still behind you in the wind up Wenchy league though whistle:
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I'm still behind you in the wind up Wenchy league though whistle:
Shrugs: