The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Pastis on August 21, 2010, 04:28:03 PM
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The NHS have written to inform me that I can participate in a free Bowel Cancer screening programme eeek: This occurs every 2 years apparently for a certain age group which I appear to have just joined.
They tell me they will send me a kit ( Sinister: ) and all I have to do is send it back in a Freepost envelope. Apparently they will then send me the results about two weeks later.
Seems like a good move; any thoughts?
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I've often wanted to send 'a dump' to someone through the post. eveilgrin:
Sounds all good to me chief. happy088
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Do it Pastis.
I've suffered from stomach/bowel problems since the late 80's and prolly had every test going, some of them straightforward and some uncomfortable and slightly undignified. At one point I was told that I must have held the record for the fastest time for a barium meal to go through me, it's normally around 45 mins to get through befor they start x-raying, I did it in 13 minutes, so not so much a digestive transit, more a Mercedes Sprinter ;D At two points they suspected bowel cancer, but on both occasions they disproved this. Better safe, than sorry
End result for me.... chronic IBS
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Thanks lads happy088.
As I said it's the NHStazi that have prompted this, not me angel1 . I seem to be in reasonably good nick in that department bearing in mind the abuse I've given it over the years rubschin:
I shall update the thread as and when the Kit arrives and keep the readers informed ;)
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Thanks lads happy088.
As I said it's the NHStazi that have prompted this, not me angel1 . I seem to be in reasonably good nick in that department bearing in mind the abuse I've given it over the years rubschin:
I shall update the thread as and when the Kit arrives and keep the readers informed ;)
It would be terrible if you accidentally posted your sample to another forum member... whistle:
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Thanks lads happy088.
As I said it's the NHStazi that have prompted this, not me angel1 . I seem to be in reasonably good nick in that department bearing in mind the abuse I've given it over the years rubschin:
I shall update the thread as and when the Kit arrives and keep the readers informed ;)
It would be terrible if you accidentally posted your sample to another forum member... whistle:
evil:
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Thanks lads happy088.
As I said it's the NHStazi that have prompted this, not me angel1 . I seem to be in reasonably good nick in that department bearing in mind the abuse I've given it over the years rubschin:
I shall update the thread as and when the Kit arrives and keep the readers informed ;)
It would be terrible if you accidentally posted your sample to another forum member... whistle:
You have a mind on a level with the bottom of Beelzebub ..... angel1
However ... anyone know the address of a Mr G.Brown of Dunfermline? eveilgrin:
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Thanks lads happy088.
As I said it's the NHStazi that have prompted this, not me angel1 . I seem to be in reasonably good nick in that department bearing in mind the abuse I've given it over the years rubschin:
I shall update the thread as and when the Kit arrives and keep the readers informed ;)
It would be terrible if you accidentally posted your sample to another forum member... whistle:
You have a mind on a level with the bottom of Beelzebub ..... angel1
However ... anyone know the address of a Mr G.Brown of Dunfermline? eveilgrin:
eveilgrin:
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The NHS have written to inform me that I can participate in a free Bowel Cancer screening programme eeek: This occurs every 2 years apparently for a certain age group which I appear to have just joined.
They tell me they will send me a kit ( Sinister: ) and all I have to do is send it back in a Freepost envelope. Apparently they will then send me the results about two weeks later.
Seems like a good move; any thoughts?
AHEM!
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=7008.msg182468#msg182468
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The NHS have written to inform me that I can participate in a free Bowel Cancer screening programme eeek: This occurs every 2 years apparently for a certain age group which I appear to have just joined.
They tell me they will send me a kit ( Sinister: ) and all I have to do is send it back in a Freepost envelope. Apparently they will then send me the results about two weeks later.
Seems like a good move; any thoughts?
AHEM!
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=7008.msg182468#msg182468
Only 10 months ago too, you bad bad Pasty, and you ARE NOT the first in here to receive one either. sex014
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Well, booger me ::) I wonder why I didn't read that thread the first time around? It might have been to do with the thread title and thinking N/A whistle:
I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
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I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
Well, some lab technician will be reading yours soon enough. ;)
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I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
Well, some lab technician will be reading yours soon enough. ;)
drumroll:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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A more awful job is hard to imagine. I bet they hate the sight of the postie noooo:
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A more awful job is hard to imagine. I bet they hate the sight of the postie noooo:
Agreed...
I always thought Mary Stopes had a pretty ghastly postbag... noooo:
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I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
Well, some lab technician will be reading yours soon enough. ;)
drumroll:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Christus almightyus. eeek:
An extra lol:. Not seen that before.
How do you actually read shite though?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... rubschin:
Read any of Nicks posts! happy088
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I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
Well, some lab technician will be reading yours soon enough. ;)
drumroll:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Christus almightyus. eeek:
An extra lol:. Not seen that before.
How do you actually read shite though?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... rubschin:
Read any of Nicks posts! happy088
It made I larf out loud.... happy088
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Well, booger me ::) I wonder why I didn't read that thread the first time around? It might have been to do with the thread title and thinking N/A whistle:
I don't read ALL this shite yer know ;)
I feel badly let down by your last sentence. sad24:
All our hard work dismissed in a few words.
I am cut to the quick ..... Et tu, Brute comes to mind
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I have recently been invited to another lot of screening, thats 3 different ones now. I just go and get on with it. I get a colonoski whatsit thingy every 3 years because of family history. In true gipsy fashion all I remember of the event, being sedated like, was I kept asking 'are we nearly there yet?'. ;D
Good luck with it.
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Do they let you keep the vids to post on You Tube like?
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I had an other-end-oskopi....
The thing is... you don't really know if they actually do it... they could put you to sleep, move the clock hands forwards a couple of hours and wake you up again... Shrugs:
Didn't think of that did you eh? noooo:
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Were they looking for your brain or what?
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Were they looking for your brain or what?
My or what... and they couldn't find it... noooo:
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Do they let you keep the vids to post on You Tube like?
They asked me if I wanted to watch the monitor but I replied 'I don't even watch casualty why would I want to watch this?'. ::)
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Did they say "Up yours then", like? angel1
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Did they say "Up yours then", like? angel1
lol: lol: lol:
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I had an other-end-oskopi....
The thing is... you don't really know if they actually do it... they could put you to sleep, move the clock hands forwards a couple of hours and wake you up again... Shrugs:
Didn't think of that did you eh? noooo:
A bit like when he's supposed to be taking your blood pressure. Load of rubbish, he's playing with one of those hopping frog things on the table behind you
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2FjyZF9.jpg&hash=bdd0cc1437ad515046379170a515abf8ffa9b10a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVjyZF9)
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I had an other-end-oskopi....
The thing is... you don't really know if they actually do it... they could put you to sleep, move the clock hands forwards a couple of hours and wake you up again... Shrugs:
Didn't think of that did you eh? noooo:
A bit like when he's supposed to be taking your blood pressure. Load of rubbish, he's playing with one of those hopping frog things on the table behind you
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimage.org%2FjyZF9.jpg&hash=bdd0cc1437ad515046379170a515abf8ffa9b10a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVjyZF9)
lol: lol: lol:
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My Doc does that shite. Name of Steer. Known locally as "Steer Clear" noooo:
Mind you CHarlton is werse, but he doesn't rhyme, like.
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My Doc does that shite. Name of Steer. Known locally as "Steer Clear" noooo:
Mind you CHarlton is werse, but he doesn't rhyme, like.
Steer Clear the Queer? lol:
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I had an other-end-oskopi....
I expect they used the same camera as Tipsy.
They probably wash it between sessions. whistle:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strapped-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strap on-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
eeek:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strap on-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
eeek:
Turd in your aesophagus
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drumroll:
Is that spelt right DS? whistle:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strap on-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
eeek:
Turd in your aesophagus
drumroll: lol: lol: lol:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strapped-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
I've had both done "back to back" like. I didn't think to ask them. eeek:
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Let us hope you avoided the CHicken Madras whistle:
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strapped-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
I've had both done "back to back" like. I didn't think to ask them. eeek:
Don't they just use an extension cable and keep pushing?
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I had an other-end-oskopi....
The thing is... you don't really know if they actually do it... they could put you to sleep, move the clock hands forwards a couple of hours and wake you up again... Shrugs:
Didn't think of that did you eh? noooo:
Oh they do it all right. eeek:
I have had both ends done and refused anesthesia on both occasions as I had to drive myself home afterwards. They found hiatus hernia at the top end and 5 polyps at the other. The bowel polyps were lasered off there and then. One hour, a further internal check and a cup of tea later I was driving home. Ever tried to drive a car standing up?
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eeek:
Now if Miss D could drive, like ......
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sick2:
Do they use the same camera for throats, like? eeek:
Depends if you have it done on the strapped-for-cash NHS or go privately like... whistle:
I've had both done "back to back" like. I didn't think to ask them. eeek:
Don't they just use an extension cable and keep pushing?
happy001
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We often have to exclude people from work / school / nurseries if they have had had certain types of food posioning or notifiable disease.
They can only return to their place of employment / education when they have had 2 or 3 clear results from their stool samples.
We have to go and inform them of what illness they have had as they have often gone to the doctor but not had the results and the doctor has just notified the CDC ( for which they get paid ) .
Anyways many years ago I had to go and explain to a mother that her 12 month old baby needed to be excluded from the nursery and she had to provide 3 stool samples in the little pots we gave her and which had like an ice cream spoon on the inside of the lid to help scoop the substance into the pot.
English was not her first language and when I went back the next day to collect the pot and send it off to the lab she was most distressed ...not as distressed as the baby however noooo: She had been trying to insert the spoon up the little boys bottom and retrieve the sample from source so to speak eeek: eeek: eeek: . She hadn't thought it would be ok to scrape it off the nappy noooo: noooo: noooo:
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happy001 happy001 happy001
Poor little mite ... redface:
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A Classic...... BM Stitch that one into a sampler for the bar wall. happy001 happy001 happy001
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Just received the all clear angel1
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Good stuff Pastis happy088
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Just received the all clear angel1
Great! I shall remove my tin hat.
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Just received the all clear angel1
Top man! cloud9:
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They also say same routine again in two years time eeek:
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Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.
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Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.
eeek:
shutup:
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BM obviously knew her as well lol: lol: lol:
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BM obviously knew her as well lol: lol: lol:
I was trying to avoid extending the joke with the doctor that lost his tongue.... redface:
See what you've done now you bad girl.... noooo:
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Not to mention the passing stranger who had three fingers amputated ....
well it was a Gillette razz:
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Not to mention the passing stranger who had three fingers amputated ....
well it was a Gillette razz:
Thread, meet gutter.... whistle:
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Not to mention the passing stranger who had three fingers amputated ....
well it was a Gillette razz:
Thread, meet gutter.... whistle:
Just remind me ........ when did we get out of it? angel1
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Not to mention the passing stranger who had three fingers amputated ....
well it was a Gillette razz:
Thread, meet gutter.... whistle:
Just remind me ........ when did we get out of it? angel1
I forget... redface: