The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: GROWLER on June 02, 2010, 10:22:18 PM
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Well no, actually, Bear in scruffy baked bean stained black fleece. redface:
Dropped in at the garage to get some fuel on the way to 'me 'ill'.
I was just walking back to me car, when this young lady came up to me and asked could I pump her tyre up as she didn't know how to use the machine.
Why she chose me instead of the other half dozen sheeples that were also there, I do not know.
Must have been all my obviously visible radiating charm and cuddly looks p'raps? cloud9:
Being the cynic I naturally am, I drove 'round the back of the garage wondering if it was a set up 'p'raps, with some scum bags waiting to 'turn me over'.
No one other than Missy standing there next to her Peugeot with a flattish tyre, so I got out, locked the car and proceeded to inflate for her.
She was most gratifyingly grateful to me for coming to her rescue, and I was duly rewarded by her bending down to put the dust cap back on the valve.
The finest pair of restless puppies in a pair of baskets I have seen for quite some time, I can tell you. cloud9:
You just couldn't not look, honestly. noooo:
I naturally therefore offerd to check her remaining three tyres if she would kindly mind taking the dust caps off for me, you know, to speed things up a bit like so I could get on me way like. whistle:
Am I a perv? happy088
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Yes you are
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Growler, my hero... worthy:
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Yes you are
Oh goody.
I'm normal then? cloud9:
I shall be keeping a look out for her and her pets on the road to 'me 'ill' in future, as she told me she lives in Ruthin. happy088
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Yes you are
Oh goody.
I'm normal then? cloud9:
I shall be keeping a look out for her and her pets on the road to 'me 'ill' in future, as she told me she lives in Ruthin. happy088
Which sounds remarkably like "rutting" eyes:
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Yes you are
Oh goody.
I'm normal then? cloud9:
I shall be keeping a look out for her and her pets on the road to 'me 'ill' in future, as she told me she lives in Ruthin. happy088
Which sounds remarkably like "rutting" eyes:
It does until you know that Ruthin is pronounced Rithen ~ bloody Welsh language catches 'em out every time. whistle:
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Yes you are
Oh goody.
I'm normal then? cloud9:
I shall be keeping a look out for her and her pets on the road to 'me 'ill' in future, as she told me she lives in Ruthin. happy088
Which sounds remarkably like "rutting" eyes:
It does until you know that Ruthin is pronounced Rithen ~ bloody Welsh language catches 'em out every time. whistle:
It is a fine historical pretty little town though, nestling in the Clwydian valley under the shadow of 'me 'ill' nearly 2000'feet above.
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Why she chose me instead of the other half dozen sheeples that were also there, I do not know.
She worked out that you were the one who couldn't run as fast as her if you got frisky.
You wait until they offer to help you because you are like their Grandad. evil:
Anyway, you are an officer and a gentleman as well as a perv. ;)
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Since the poor blonde had no idea how to use an air pump she was, one assumes, thick. I wonder if Growler offeredher a brief lesson in the complex business of the garage blow job rubschin:
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Where did I actually state that she was blonde ey, where, exactly? Shrugs:
She was actually a brunette, smart arse.
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I assumed she was blonde on the evidence of her manifest stupidity. So did you give her a tutorial? eyes:
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I assumed she was blonde on the evidence of her manifest stupidity. So did you give her a tutorial? eyes:
Many wimmin in my experience struggle pumping tyres up for some unknown reason. Baffles me tbqh, but there you go.
P'raps she just fancied me and used it as an excuse. Who knows? Shrugs:
She and her pets were most pleasant anyway.
I'm always 'appy to 'elp as you know full well.
I'd have offered help for a geezer if asked, cus that's just the kinda guy I am. cloud9:
IYRC I tried to help an old doddery geezer change his flat tyre a few weeks ago, until his wheel brace doubled over. ::)
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Are you not aware it is actual National Bear Baiting day eyes:
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Are you not aware it is actual National Bear Baiting day eyes:
And Puppy Ogling day.
Master Bear will be delighted.
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Are you not aware it is actual National Bear Baiting day eyes:
That's every day in here angel1
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Are you not aware it is actual National Bear Baiting day eyes:
That's every day in here angel1
Element of truth in that oh ginger bearded mousey one.
What have I done now to deserve such shoddy treatment ey, what, exactly? Shrugs:
I'm NEVER knowingly understood, as you rightly say. cry:
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I am not GINGER cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Bet you are ~ "in places" ...... all natural blondes are. whistle:
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I am not GINGER cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
OK OK, carm down. Keep your gingery beard on. lol:
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I am not GINGER cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
OK OK, carm down. Keep your gingery beard on. lol:
Perhaps he isn't ginger... Perhaps it is just stained ginger from dangling in his tea...? rubschin:
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ANd I never DANGLE cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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ANd I never DANGLE cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Mixed up the Valium and the Viagra again?
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ANd I never DANGLE cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Mixed up the Valium and the Viagra again?
I bet he has the ginger droopy... lol: lol: lol:
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BM must die eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Slowly eveilgrin:
Under a goat eveilgrin:
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BM must die eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Slowly eveilgrin:
Under a goat eveilgrin:
You don't drive a taxi in your spare time do you...? scared2:
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BM must die eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Slowly eveilgrin:
Under a goat eveilgrin:
Bir'arsh that if you don't mind me saying so? eeek:
Truth often does 'urt and offend apparently, but it's best to know these things you know. happy088
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BM must die eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Slowly eveilgrin:
Under a goat eveilgrin:
Bir'arsh that if you don't mind me saying so? eeek:
Truth often does 'urt and offend apparently, but it's best to know these things you know. happy088
happy001
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With LL away for months he is doubtless sucking up to the goats.
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<snigger>
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With LL away for months he is doubtless sucking up to the goats.
Thread, meet gutter... noooo:
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No gerls about. Time to get onto thongs and stuff
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Thongs... Drool:
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No gerls about. Time to get onto thongs and stuff
What difference does that make ey, what, exactly? Shrugs:
They talk about willies and firemen and stuff, so why can't we talk about wummans jiggly bibs and bobs and associated gubbins.
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Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
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No gerls about. Time to get onto thongs and stuff
rubschin: I had you down as a Y Front sort of chap actually.
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Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
Nah ~ She's one of the boys like ..... only with bumps in her jumper.
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Danni's sister is the one with the purt bum angel1
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Danni's sister is the one with the purt bum angel1
Oh Kylie. MY Kylie. cloud9:
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Cold shower
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wummans jiggly bibs and bobs and associated gubbins.
The City is awash with such today eeek:
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Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
Why evil:
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scared:
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Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
Why evil:
Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
Nah ~ She's one of the boys like ..... only with bumps in her jumper.
whistle:
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Ahy'ow, MD is sniffin' around, only she doesn't count I suppose really does she? noooo:
Why evil:
Cus Snoopy sez you are just like one of the lads, albeit with little pets in yer jumper, so he sez like.
I wouldn't know about such things like. Shrugs:
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The bear hides behind the dog....what is evolution coming to noooo:
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The bear hides behind the dog....what is evolution coming to noooo:
I'm NOT hiding. evil:
I say nowt in here I wouldn;t say to yer face, ok?
Giz a snog. razz:
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brush yer teeth first ;)
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Then put them back in whistle:
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brush yer teeth first ;)
Steradent it is then.
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Then put them back in whistle:
Are we 'tuned in' together like?
Spooky that. scared2:
Posted similar within seconds of each other
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Great minds think alike. lol:
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A gerl could feel green and furry round here whistle:
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You can feel anything you like sweety ~ It's all on offer eyes:
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A gerl could feel green and furry round here whistle:
green?
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A gerl could feel green and furry round here whistle:
green?
With envy prolly.
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A gerl could feel green and furry round here whistle:
green?
Yea. Green?
Was'at all about then ey, what? confused:
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She's gone, we may never know.
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May be for the best. surrender:
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GOOSEBERRY
Gawd give me strength lol:
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You think Snoopy and Growler are an "item"?
happy001 happy001
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I always thought it was Nick and Growler carried on like an old married couple.... whistle:
scared:
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Nick and Growler
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fciviliancontractors.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fodd-couple-posters.jpg&hash=05453e4739e4aee786ca3c18ad08acd24444504a)
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Maybe it's the BearMooDog Triangle whistle:
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Neither of them fancy me sad24:
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I did my good deed for the day - back to the original post, like - coming back from up West on the bus. A big guy with crutches got on the bus and began arranging himself to sit in the seat in front of me. Just as he turned around, releasing the crutches and prepared to sit the bus launched forward. I could see it coming and for reasons of instinct both my hands shot forward to prevent him flying backwards ... his large frame hit my hands and stopped him. He gently lowered himself into the seat and turned around.
He smiled and said "Thanks man!" like the guy out of The Green Mile eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2Ff4kkr.jpg&hash=6e30c4f28d850c28a72fab844b4b21f6e37a8274) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqf4kkr)
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I always thought it was Nick and Growler carried on like an old married couple.... whistle:
scared:
evil:
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I did my good deed for the day - back to the original post, like - coming back from up West on the bus. A big guy with crutches got on the bus and began arranging himself to sit in the seat in front of me. Just as he turned around, releasing the crutches and prepared to sit the bus launched forward. I could see it coming and for reasons of instinct both my hands shot forward to prevent him flying backwards ... his large frame hit my hands and stopped him. He gently lowered himself into the seat and turned around.
He smiled and said "Thanks man!" like the guy out of The Green Mile eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.postimage.org%2Ff4kkr.jpg&hash=6e30c4f28d850c28a72fab844b4b21f6e37a8274) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqf4kkr)
Gent of the day Pasty, gent of the day.
Most admirable.
Some really nice peoples in here isn't there ey? cloud9:
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I always thought it was Nick and Growler carried on like an old married couple.... whistle:
scared:
evil:
scared2:
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Anyway, whilst the green eyed monster, more commonly known as Nick, rambles on and on sarcastically about me hanging around air pumps etc etc zzzzzzz ::) I have been quietly going about my business.
Now i don't know if I'm suddenly becoming more charming or summat, but today I was working in a main dealer in Chester for an absolutely delightful young lady, in her early 30's I guess, that had called me in to do some werk.
Never met her before, but she really was a little honey bunny, oh yes indeedeedo. eeek:
Stood outside chatting her up in the rapidly becoming familiar and increasingly polished Growler style discussing the job in hand like, and she kept touching my arms. eeek:
I fookin' absolutely luuuuurve it when they do that, oh yes. cloud9:
She was standing well within the normal no entry field of I don't really know you, the little minx, looking me straight in the eyes whilst she was gently talking to me. Fookin' luuuurve that too, little honey bunny bear, yes yes yes. Drool:
Any'ow, finally managed to get on with the job, went in to get the paper werk done and she brought me a cup of coffee and sat down right in front of me in the customer waiting area, touching my shoulder this time, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. eveilgrin:
Finished off and she then announced that I was the nicest contractor she'd ever met, and so nice to speak to someone pleasant and charming instead of all the reprobates she has to put up with all day long in there.
Aren't I a little charmer ey, aren't I? cloud9:
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See...when I called you a miserable git, it made you think...you've thought...hello...perhaps Pirate is right...I am a miserable git...you have now started to treat people as you would like to be treated, and it is paying off...remember, behaviour breeds behaviour... happy088