The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on February 01, 2010, 01:42:11 PM
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Right!
So this morning I wanted to print off some invoices but my printer refused to play ball. It has four weeny ink cartridges and the BLUE one was empty, so it wouldn't print. I politely told it that the invoice was to be printed in black and I didn't need any BLUE ink but it told me to fook off and insisted on a new BLUE cartridge or it would not let me do anything. Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
The only place near here that sells such things is the mahoosive Tesco in the godforsaken hole of Bidston. I jumped onto the train and went there. I bought the useless BLUE ink cartridge (I had taken the old one with me as a precaution as a result of which my hands are now blue cussing:) and headed back to the station. No train.
It seems a lorry has driven into a railway bridge and there are not trains FOR THE REST OF THE FOOKING DAY. Train company promises a bus "as soon as we can get one" bus as I had been freezing my arse off for 45 minutes I called a taxi.
Got onto the motorway and the FOOKING TAXI RAN OUT OF PETROL Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
45 MINUTES ON THE HARD SHOULDER FREEZING MY ARSE OFF
And then he tried to charge me for the trip Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
His last words as he drove off empty handed were "I know where you live" scared2:
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But does the printer werk now...? ::)
Or did you leave the cartridge in the taxi! point:
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And you can fook off to Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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Shouldn't this tale of woe be in the Computer Room? rubschin:
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I take it you just didn't buy the one cartridge but stocked up a least a couple of each colour. Otherwise it really would be a idiotic waste of time and money.
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Shouldn't this tale of woe be in the Computer Room? rubschin:
rubschin:
Computer or transport related woe... or just Nick! lol: lol: lol:
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The moral of the story is not to leave things to the last minute whistle:
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I take it you just didn't buy the one cartridge but stocked up a least a couple of each colour. Otherwise it really would be a idiotic waste of time and money.
I also bought some black cartridges which I need, a copy of the new Start Trek DVD and a bottle of collapso cloud9:
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I take it you just didn't buy the one cartridge but stocked up a least a couple of each colour. Otherwise it really would be a idiotic waste of time and money.
I also bought some black cartridges which I need, a copy of the new Start Trek DVD and a bottle of collapso cloud9:
But not the other colours...? noooo:
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It would have probably been cheaper just to buy a new printer, cartridges can cost a fortune whistle:
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The moral of the story is not to leave things to the last minute whistle:
thatsit: Finger: Yargh: Spank2:
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It would have probably been cheaper just to buy a new printer, cartridges can cost a fortune whistle:
Delivered to your door next day like...? rubschin:
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I wanted it THIS MORNING Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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The moral of the story is not to leave things to the last minute whistle:
thatsit: Finger: Yargh: Spank2:
You know I'm right whistle:
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Dont ya just love Mondays!! Banghead
B.
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Brian! Is that you?
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Obviously not lol:
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Anyhoo, these invoices; are you adding VAT to them? It's gone back up again doncher know whistle:
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Shouldn't this tale of woe be in the Computer Room? rubschin:
rubschin:
Computer or transport related woe... or just Nick! lol: lol: lol:
I've thought this for a while but wouldnt it make sense to give Nick his own room? You could even call it the Disaster Zone... whistle:
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Is there a cupboard under the stairs perhaps?
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Brian! Is that you?
rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_WbcuvFxzwig%2FRtQ-PVyFt0I%2FAAAAAAAADw0%2FoDjvyEsxEYU%2Fs320%2Fmagic_roundabout_brian.jpg&hash=c26fff5a95670d33c07e1541b6da0cb0d7ef71cb)
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Brian! Is that you?
Errh!! Could be redface:
B.
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You should take your e mail address out of your profile then whistle:
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NOW THE RED AND THE YELLOW CARTRIDGES HAVE RUN OUT cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
WHY WON'T THE BASTARD LET ME PRINT IN BLACK? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
IS THERE SOME WAY OF OUTWITTING IT?
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I take it you just didn't buy the one cartridge but stocked up a least a couple of each colour. Otherwise it really would be a idiotic waste of time and money.
I also bought some black cartridges which I need, a copy of the new Start Trek DVD and a bottle of collapso cloud9:
But not the other colours...? noooo:
Obviously not.
noooo:
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NOW THE RED AND THE YELLOW CARTRIDGES HAVE RUN OUT cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
WHY WON'T THE BASTARD LET ME PRINT IN BLACK? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
IS THERE SOME WAY OF OUTWITTING IT?
point:
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NOW THE RED AND THE YELLOW CARTRIDGES HAVE RUN OUT cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
WHY WON'T THE BASTARD LET ME PRINT IN BLACK? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
IS THERE SOME WAY OF OUTWITTING IT?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.thisislondon.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2007%2F02%2Fcab_243x246.jpg&hash=92707b6bcbc45598a9206d2f67772afc48a6152d)
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NOW THE RED AND THE YELLOW CARTRIDGES HAVE RUN OUT cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
WHY WON'T THE BASTARD LET ME PRINT IN BLACK? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
IS THERE SOME WAY OF OUTWITTING IT?
Yes but you'll never manage it.
Go into "Printer Settings" on your laptop and change from colour to Black. Simples really!
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One of my printers is an Epson with 4 carts. If one cart runs out, it wont print, whatever setting you put in
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Now you're overly complicating matters Snoops
First of all need Nick you will need to find your going out trousers
Put those on in the right order and sitting on the edge of the bed
Go out
Forget wallet
Go back home
Trash house looking for wallet
Find wallet in microwave
Leave house
Forget keys
Go to train station
Remember it is Sunday Service
Wait for Monday
Get aeroplane after giving up on train
Arrive in the Isle of Skye
Realise they don't have a Tesco's
Get ferry to mainland
Hitchhike to Glasgow
Find a gingerbread man in a pub
Ask him if he knows anywhere he can get cartridges
Man goes off whispers something into mobile that he can't understand
An hour later in the car park gets handed gun pellets and is asked for payment
Pulls out Tesco's Bonus Card but dealers not impressed
They dump him on wasteland commonly called England
He gets a cab back to his house
Can't get in as he has no keys
Goes into shed and takes out rug - pays the cab man with this . Says it's an heirloom
Goes back into shed and writes invoice out with a Bic Biro
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Now you're overly complicating matters Snoops
First of all need to find your going out trousers
Put those on in the right order and sitting on the edge of the bed
Go out
Forget wallet
Go back home
Trash house looking for wallet
Find wallet in microwave
Leave house
Forget keys
Go to train station
Remember it is Sunday Service
Wait for Monday
Get aeroplane after giving up on train
Arrive in the Isle of Skye
Realise they don't have a Tesco's
Get ferry to mainland
Hitchhike to Glasgow
Find a gingerbread man in a pub
Ask him if he knows anywhere he can get cartridges
Man goes off whispers something into mobile that he can't understand
An hour later in the car park gets handed gun pellets and is asked for payment
Pulls out Tesco's Bonus Card but dealers not impressed
They dump him on wasteland commonly called England
He gets a cab back to his house
Can't get in as he has no keys
Goes into shed and takes out rug - pays the cab man with this . Says it's an heirloom
Goes back into shed and writes invoice out with a Bic Biro
happy001 happy001 happy001
You left out calling in the Cakey Train Shoppe
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Now you're overly complicating matters Snoops
First of all need Nick will need to find his going out trousers
Put those on in the right order and sitting on the edge of the bed
Go out
Forget wallet
Go back home
Trash house looking for wallet
Find wallet in microwave
Leave house
Forget keys
Go to train station
Remember it is Sunday Service
Wait for Monday
Get aeroplane after giving up on train
Arrive in the Isle of Skye
Realise they don't have a Tesco's
Get ferry to mainland
Hitchhike to Glasgow
Find a gingerbread man in a pub
Ask him if he knows anywhere he can get cartridges
Man goes off whispers something into mobile that he can't understand
An hour later in the car park gets handed gun pellets and is asked for payment
Pulls out Tesco's Bonus Card but dealers not impressed
They dump him on wasteland commonly called England
He gets a cab back to his house
Can't get in as he has no keys
Goes into shed and takes out rug - pays the cab man with this . Says it's an heirloom
Goes back into shed and writes invoice out with a Bic Biro
happ096
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Miss D, sheer genius - you rival CJ and his Dippy diary.
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Is that a good thing scared2:
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Is that a good thing scared2:
Oh Yes! whistle:
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Miss D, sheer genius - you rival CJ and his Dippy diary.
Agreed. lol:
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evil:
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One of my printers is an Epson with 4 carts. If one cart runs out, it wont print, whatever setting you put in
This too is a bastard Epson cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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NOW THE RED AND THE YELLOW CARTRIDGES HAVE RUN OUT cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
WHY WON'T THE BASTARD LET ME PRINT IN BLACK? Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
IS THERE SOME WAY OF OUTWITTING IT?
Yes but you'll never manage it.
whistle:
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I DID change the printer settings BUT THE EVIL BASTARD PRINTER STILL REFUSES TO BEHAVE Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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I DID change the printer settings BUT THE EVIL BASTARD PRINTER STILL REFUSES TO BEHAVE Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Buy a new printer - on 'tintermong like... whistle:
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This is the new BASTARD PRINTER Angry9:
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This is the new BASTARD PRINTER Angry9:
You need to buy SON OF BASTARD PRINTER then... lol:
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Viking Direct are delivering cartridges today. Now I daren't go out Banghead
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Viking Direct are delivering cartridges today. Now I daren't go out Banghead
Oh dear, oh dear... noooo:
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I went round the corner to buy some fags (and some more milk redface:) and the bastards came and left a card "We tried to deliver your order but you were not in....." cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Don't worry ~ If it's Viking they were either going to deliver a pallet load or the wrong ones.
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No, that's Tesco evil:
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It is also why I won't deal with Viking ~ B@st@rds tried to take me to court for items they claimed to have delivered but that I had never ordered let alone received. Shite Company. Go to www.ijtdirect.co.uk. I get all my inks and toners from them.
Next day delivery, if asked they will leave in a convenient hiding place (in shed for example). Never a problem.
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Now you fooking tell me censored: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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I can also tell you that my Epsom works if I set it to Black whistle:
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WELL MINE DOESN'T
OK?
Banghead Banghead Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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This being a new printer and all it probably came with half filled ink tanks anyway. I always keep a small stock of replacements angel1
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Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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I can also tell you that my Epsom works if I set it to Black whistle:
Lucky you didn't buy an Epson like Nick then.
Mind you, I never thought of Epsom as Black-friendly. rubschin:
TMR or Wenchy could tell us no doubt
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I can also tell you that my Epsom works if I set it to Black whistle:
Lucky you didn't buy an Epson like Nick then.
Mind you, I never thought of Epsom as Black-friendly. rubschin:
TMR or Wenchy could tell us no doubt
happy001
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Like I'm the only one who can make a typo. ::)
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I can confirm you generally only see lighter shades in Epsom. Except on the 1st Saturday in June, when the general colour is black and blue.
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Nick, have you considered one of these...?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hancocklawfirm.net%2FMore.typewriters%2520009.jpg&hash=52efbe907eb279f032ad0244fddb9249fd1d84f5)
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He's prolly got one of these
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi46.tinypic.com%2F30uzltc.jpg&hash=ffb9a6497b1ec6bd55cd8e1c6142fb1f9f0a6715)
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Bet he hasn't got any of these though
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.postimage.org%2F_XBI0.jpg&hash=5b491397326f898efa00262f3d0d01e34766abe1) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx_XBI0)