The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:12:31 AM

Title: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:12:31 AM
I have only just realised that in order to put on my trousers in the morning I have to lean on a wall in order to stop myself from falling over.

Is this normal?
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: tel on January 07, 2010, 10:18:32 AM
Yes, if you only have one leg.
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 07, 2010, 10:33:14 AM
I have only just realised that in order to put on my trousers in the morning I have to lean on a wall in order to stop myself from falling over.

Is this normal?

Pissed again are we? ::)
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:36:49 AM
So what trouser donning technique do you 'ave then, o wise one?
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 07, 2010, 10:37:47 AM
It's an age thing the alternative is hopping around the room for a while before falling over in an undignified heap.
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:38:42 AM
Been there, done that  redface:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Snoopy on January 07, 2010, 10:40:11 AM
Depends on the size of the bedroom. Most ELDERLY people sit on the bed to put their trousers on. I, fortunately, am still able to stand on one leg.
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:41:47 AM
How can anyone put trousers on whilst sitting down? rubschin:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Snoopy on January 07, 2010, 10:42:55 AM
Try it and see  ::)
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:43:43 AM
I just did. I fell over  cussing:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 07, 2010, 10:48:18 AM
If you don't know by now it really doesn't matter .....your carers will do it all for you soon anyways  whistle:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:48:53 AM
 sad24:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Snoopy on January 07, 2010, 10:49:10 AM
Sit on the edge of the bed, pull trousers over feet and legs, make sure feet are clear of trousers. When you have the waist band up to upper thigh level, slowly stand up and pull trousers over your fat arse. Fasten trousers at waist. Remember to do up the fly.

I cannot be responsible for your lack of co-ordination but the above described method is the one I have seen employed with success by many ELDERLY men in hospital wards over recent years ~ they too have to be reminded to zip up their fly, usually by a nurse. ::)
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 10:49:57 AM
It was the feet bit I got wrong  redface:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 07, 2010, 11:03:36 AM
Give me bloody strength.  Banghead
Here we are trying to teach a man in his mid/late 50's how to put his friggin' kecks on.
I bloody despair, I REALLY do. noooo:

Is it any wonder this cuntree is totally goosed, IS IT, EY? cussing:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:04:38 AM
I am only 54  cussing:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 07, 2010, 11:09:48 AM
I am only 54  cussing:

So?  Shrugs:

You're an old fart that needs help putting his trollies on. ::)
Have you comsidered applying for a home help p'raps, being so incapable like?

Ventured out for your pint of milk and digestives yet?  scared2:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:11:06 AM
Yes I did. Fooking freezing. No traffic, no grit
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 07, 2010, 11:15:18 AM
Yes I did. Fooking freezing. No traffic, no grit


Ahhhhh, bless you, little lamb. happy100

Get yourself wrapped up into some nice warm blankets now won't you, and I'll come back in here afterwards to check you're still alive like.

take great care now luvee, xxx. G













 sick2:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Barman on January 07, 2010, 11:15:55 AM
Yes I did. Fooking freezing. No traffic, no grit

Did you want to buy some grit then...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Just One More on January 07, 2010, 11:16:33 AM
Kerchingggg!  lol:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:16:48 AM
So how do you put yours on. Hopping? Leaning? Sitting? Flamingo styleee?
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:17:43 AM
Yes I did. Fooking freezing. No traffic, no grit

Did you want to buy some grit then...?  rubschin:

And you. Hop, sit or lean?
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Barman on January 07, 2010, 11:17:58 AM
Kerchingggg!  lol:

 lol: lol: lol:

How much can you spare him...?
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 07, 2010, 11:25:04 AM
Little grit, and now no binnies, lazy bastards. H & S dictates no doubt. cussing:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 07, 2010, 11:26:40 AM
If you're not going out I recommend:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.postimage.org%2F1UUXwi.jpg&hash=d47f2528ec5e504f0a9ad2ab45d73d8cd87b863d) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Ts1UUXwi)
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:27:26 AM
Quote
Other maimers and killers in the United Kingdom were almost equally surprising. Citing a recent report from the Department of Trade and Industry, Henderson warned Britons to be much more cautious while getting dressed in the morning. The number of folks injured by trousers, socks and tights climbed by almost 1,800 in 1999.

Trouser-related injuries alone climbed to 5,945 -- up from 5,137 --the report warned, accounting for almost five times as many injuries as chain saws during the same time period (1,207). Socks and tights caused 10,773 injuries, up from 9,843. The report said that falls resulting from attempting to dress too quickly were the major source of these injuries, followed closely by messy bedrooms.

And I see Growler has voted  point:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 07, 2010, 11:44:21 AM
I am only 49 and I fall over regularly.  redface: It's not the PG either. noooo:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:45:16 AM
A wise vote Miss C!
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Snoopy on January 07, 2010, 11:46:21 AM
Yes I did. Fooking freezing. No traffic, no grit

And presumably no trousers point:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:47:34 AM
No  ::) I am sensible and lean on walls  angel1
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Barman on January 07, 2010, 11:51:27 AM
Nick struggles with his morning dressing routine...  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fglobaltolerance.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F01%2Fwallace-in-wrong-trousers.jpg&hash=ff855ee68efd4957813eb5b4918a536df918d9c8)
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Nick on January 07, 2010, 11:53:22 AM
My trousers know who is boss.Mrs Nick, unfortunately, does not  noooo:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 07, 2010, 05:40:52 PM
Perhaps you would be safer wearing a kilt.....  whistle:
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: Barman on January 07, 2010, 06:58:28 PM
Perhaps you would be safer wearing a kilt.....  whistle:

Quicker!  happy001
Title: Re: Trouser query
Post by: GROWLER on January 08, 2010, 10:17:48 AM
Quote
Other maimers and killers in the United Kingdom were almost equally surprising. Citing a recent report from the Department of Trade and Industry, Henderson warned Britons to be much more cautious while getting dressed in the morning. The number of folks injured by trousers, socks and tights climbed by almost 1,800 in 1999.

Trouser-related injuries alone climbed to 5,945 -- up from 5,137 --the report warned, accounting for almost five times as many injuries as chain saws during the same time period (1,207). Socks and tights caused 10,773 injuries, up from 9,843. The report said that falls resulting from attempting to dress too quickly were the major source of these injuries, followed closely by messy bedrooms.

And I see Growler has voted  point:

Wrong.  point:
I haven't entered into the spirit of your self indulgent utter tripe, so up yours mousey. Finger: