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Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Nick on January 01, 2010, 02:10:13 PM

Title: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 01, 2010, 02:10:13 PM
Miss D should get her nurse's uniform on and get round there.



























That would finish him off
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: tel on January 01, 2010, 02:20:14 PM
ER, does he need finishing off?
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 01, 2010, 02:31:53 PM
 eyes:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Barman on January 01, 2010, 03:18:15 PM
I didn't realise she did finishing off...  Banghead

Or nurses uniforms...  noooo:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 01, 2010, 03:42:40 PM
Poor old Mr P ~ I'll not bother him but wish him a speedy recovery when next you speak.
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 01, 2010, 03:58:51 PM
He can't speak. He has the oink flu  ::)
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 01, 2010, 07:38:15 PM
 Banghead

Next time you email/text/pm/semaphore/communicate with him in any way shape or form .................. Don't bother, I'll ring him myself in a day or two.















PS ~ Have you checked your tail lately? You had lunch with him a few days ago, you may have caught it yourself.  point:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 02, 2010, 08:15:56 AM
I didn't realise she did finishing off...  Banghead

Or nurses uniforms...  noooo:

Certainly not district nurse ones  scared2:

Poor Pastis -though . I will take him chocolate , that cures everything
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 02, 2010, 08:18:55 AM
I didn't realise she did finishing off...  Banghead

Or nurses uniforms...  noooo:

Certainly not district nurse ones  scared2:

Poor Pastis -though . I will take him fish , that cures everything
eeek:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 02, 2010, 08:30:22 AM
Maybe he has fish flu instead ...as caused by a dodgy Sea Bass  scared2:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Barman on January 02, 2010, 09:43:00 AM
Maybe he has fish flu instead ...as caused by a dodgy Sea Bass  scared2:

More likely, given the source....  noooo:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Just One More on January 02, 2010, 01:41:52 PM
I didn't realise she did finishing off...  Banghead

Or nurses uniforms...  noooo:

Certainly not district nurse ones  scared2:

Is this a process by elimination type game then?


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Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 02, 2010, 09:25:41 PM
ANyhoo  ::)  Pastis reports he is slightly improved but still needs the attention of hte district nurse. He is living on baked beans.  noooo:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 02, 2010, 10:06:11 PM
I offered to pop round with some chicken soup ( the ancient cure all for all ills ) but he had just had his beans and was going back to bed.

Poor boy  happy100
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 03, 2010, 09:19:57 AM
Chicken soup AKA Jewish penicillin  cloud9:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2010, 09:20:27 AM
I offered to pop round with some chicken soup ( the ancient cure all for all ills ) but he had just had his beans and was going back to bed.

Poor boy  happy100

Send The Brat round to look after him...  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 03, 2010, 09:22:17 AM
Exactly - I'm surprised it hasn't been patented by Smithkline Beecham
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 03, 2010, 09:25:03 AM
Exactly - I'm surprised it hasn't been patented by Smithkline Beecham

Nigella has the patent  lol:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 03, 2010, 11:54:59 AM
Mornin'   surrender:

Nice to find a thread dedicated to oneself  eeek:.
I think the worst is over if managing to post on VP is anything to go by. Temperature's been up and down like Tower Bridge ~ currently nearly 99? which is a bit high for the morning but better than the 101? a couple of days ago.

Whether it's the Oink variety who can say? Trying to get medical advice on a Bank holiday or weekend deserves a thread of its own  noooo:.  I did the online assessment which resulted in my being given an authorisation code to go and pick up an antiviral treatment, plus, was told to go back to bed!
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2010, 11:57:00 AM
Get Miss D to get it for you.But she has to wear her uniform, like, to make it official.
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 03, 2010, 12:07:35 PM
I did actually think of that since the only pharmacy giving out the treatments is quite near her. This would entail her coming over to mine to pick up ID from me and the authorisation code, then her going home and thence to the pharmacy (making sure she's got her own ID and authority from me), then coming back to mine with the treatment and then returning home. It'd probably take the best part of a day  ::).
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2010, 12:09:54 PM
 Violins:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 03, 2010, 02:00:41 PM
I did actually think of that since the only pharmacy giving out the treatments is quite near her. This would entail her coming over to mine to pick up ID from me and the authorisation code, then her going home and thence to the pharmacy (making sure she's got her own ID and authority from me), then coming back to mine with the treatment and then returning home. It'd probably take the best part of a day  ::).

Hey ....not a problem honey ...you need your meds  happy100

Is that Westbury's to which you are referring ???? - must be a simpler way of doing this ...but even if there isn't not a problem - I am in full flu nurse mode today anyway

Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2010, 02:11:24 PM
His cunning plan werked  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 03, 2010, 05:01:16 PM

Is that Westbury's to which you are referring ???? - must be a simpler way of doing this ...but even if there isn't not a problem - I am in full flu nurse mode today anyway

A very kind offer for which thank you but since I think it's over the worst I'll stick to the Night/Day Nurse, the Benylin, the Echinacea and fruit. There's a pharmacy about 3/4 of a mile away which is authorised and will open tomorrow but the irony remains that I still can't go and collect it. Apparently, so the NHS lady on the phone told me, if I turn up with the document they'll shoo me off the premises and tell me to go back to bed  eeek:
The other thing is that if I do take a treatment then it's a one off and can't do so again, so might as well leave it. It's all very confusing  surrender:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2010, 07:35:16 PM
Precisely which gummant twat is in charge of this shite?!
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 03, 2010, 07:47:40 PM
May I present
Rt Hon Andy Burnham MP
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Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 04, 2010, 11:01:28 AM
Keeeeeel heeeeeem  evil:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Nick on January 04, 2010, 11:05:30 AM
Just pop round and sneeze on him. Simples
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 06:26:08 PM
The next pandemic

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed  copious amounts of alcohol.

I awoke this morning not feeling well, with  what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore  eyes, etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately  tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This  debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated  case.

Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others  diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned  tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie  down.

However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent  a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that  has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting a  full english can also help in some cases. If not, then further  application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose,  has been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life  threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour  period.

NOTE
If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has  mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly  spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious case of  eye-rolling.
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 04, 2010, 06:56:26 PM
So that's all three for me then, swine, wine and whine  whistle:   Are there prizes?

PS  How's TMR coping?
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 04, 2010, 06:58:21 PM
So that's all three for me then, swine, wine and whine  whistle:   Are there prizes?

PS  How's TMR coping?

There's a brave little soldier ~ feeling better are we?
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 06:58:57 PM
So that's all three for me then, swine, wine and whine  whistle:   Are there prizes?

PS  How's TMR coping?

He's in Swindon - he's really suffering  lol:

Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 04, 2010, 07:06:51 PM
It never stops raining in Swindon.
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 04, 2010, 07:08:00 PM
So that's all three for me then, swine, wine and whine  whistle:   Are there prizes?

PS  How's TMR coping?

There's a brave little soldier ~ feeling better are we?

It said in the online literature propaganda that 5 - 7 days should see recovery; well, it's had 5 so I've told it to feck off!

I've lost nearly 2 kilos btw  eeek:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 07:11:42 PM
Without even trying  sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 04, 2010, 07:22:18 PM
 happy100

No appetite, no booze, picking at fruit, sweating like an Oink, hardly any sleep... it's no fun  noooo:

Besides, it'll all go back on this weekend cos it's .... The Wedding  eeek:    scared2:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 07:33:30 PM
So you've had plenty of sleep, looking svelte and will be overjoyed at having your energy levels back .

Those girls won't know what's hit em  eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 04, 2010, 07:35:50 PM
Until they start coughing, sneezing, shivering and feeling generally shite like .... then they might just guess.
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 07:40:06 PM
Oh no ...this is fated in the stars  cloud9:

I've already bought me hat  ;)
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 04, 2010, 07:41:49 PM
What was wrong with the one you had?
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Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 07:48:23 PM
It fell in the dog stew I was cooking  evil:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Pastis on January 04, 2010, 07:50:21 PM
Well at least the proverbially lined-up Mrs Doyle's in Australia so I can rest easy on that score  confused:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Snoopy on January 04, 2010, 07:51:37 PM
It fell in the dog stew I was cooking  evil:

 eeek: shocked003  scared2:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 04, 2010, 07:53:48 PM
Well at least the proverbially lined-up Mrs Doyle's in Australia so I can rest easy on that score  confused:


but now you have the choice of two for the price of one......double bubble .... eyes:

The odds are even greater  whistle:
Title: Re: Pastis has the oink flu
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on January 05, 2010, 09:41:08 PM
Glad to hear that you are on the mend Pastis, I had some sort of flu last year it was ghastly. noooo: