The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Mozo on July 02, 2007, 06:55:41 AM

Title: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Mozo on July 02, 2007, 06:55:41 AM
A fact of life for many males over fifty seems to be an enlarged prostate gland. Not only a nuisance, but literally, a pain in the arse. Its symptoms are discomfort and burning sensations, delayed and interrupted flow, frequent urination and if untreated, constant dribbling and incontinance. Those are the benign symptoms ... before the nasty "C" word comes in and this normally maneagable complaint turns into "life threatening".

I have been its victim for about fifteen years and have tried verious remedies and medication, While some seem to alleviate the condition, nothing cures; the only urologist  advised option being surgery, with a catheter aided post operative period of one to three weeks. (They say)

The fact is, from conversation with quite a few patients, it's not always that simple. Some have compained of several weeks of post op infections and very slow healing ... Some, almost gothic horror stories of loss of libido and ongoing incontinance.

Since I do not relish the prospect of having a Black and Decker shoved down my dick and all the other appliances, I have opted for the mediacation route, and am happy to report that although the problem is still there, IT IS GETTING BETTER and I may now get a good night's sleep without interruption on most nights.

Prostatitis is a curse for many mature men, and as I am still willing to learn, is there anyone out there with alternative experience to share?     scared2:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:17:52 AM
Too much information.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:20:07 AM
FWIW Moz, I've had a couple of run-ins with the prostate.  Both time diagnosed as Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia which is basically an annoyed and inflamed prostate.  Gives all the symptoms you describe - the worst of which is trying for half an hour to piss while desperate!

Both times it cleared up of its own accord after a week or two.  PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) tests both times within normal range so no big C in question.  First was 10 years ago, second 5, so I'm half expecting another one soon.

Though, to be fair, I have a sneaking suspicion that it was a very small stone that caused the problems since the last bout stopped quite suddenly.

You have my sympathy - I am reliably informed that orgasms help since they exercise the wretched thing.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:20:14 AM
Too much information.
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:21:25 AM
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692.  msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information. 

Read and learn Nick - it may strike you one day! We're none of us (except the ladies of course - the genuine ones that is) immune from the potential for problems in this area!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:21:44 AM
No. Having a medical room would just encourage other hypochondriacs, whingers and so on to let it all hang out. I smote him!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:22:31 AM
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information.

Read and learn Nick - it may strike you one day! We're none of (except the ladies of course - the genuine ones that is) immune from the potential for problems in this area!

Possibly so, but I don't want to read about it. I have now got my legs crossed becuase of this thread!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:22:40 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information.
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:23:50 AM
 :lalalala :lalalala :lalalala :lalalala
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:24:09 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information.
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint.
How about women?s problems though?  noooo:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:24:28 AM
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10428#msg10428 date=1183371704
No.  Having a medical room would just encourage other hypochondriacs, whingers and so on to let it all hang out.  I smote him!

Who did you smote? Me? Pourquoi? What did I do to warrant such cavalier treatment?

(goes off to cry in his pint in the corner)
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:25:15 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information.
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint.
How about women?s problems though?  noooo:

All psychiatric! evil:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:26:15 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information.
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint.
How about women?s problems though?  noooo:

All psychiatric! evil:
Eeeeek!  scared2:

What will Wenchy say when she gets here????  noooo:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:26:45 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10432#msg10432 date=1183371849
Quote from: Marleys Ghost link=topic=692. msg10430#msg10430 date=1183371760
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692.  msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692.  msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information. 
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint. 
How about women?s problems though?  noooo:

Have you never spent an illuminating evening earwigging the group of women at the table by the window? You'd be amazed at the exchange of information!! Positively makes your eyes boggle!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:28:31 AM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692. msg10432#msg10432 date=1183371849
Quote from: Marleys Ghost link=topic=692. msg10430#msg10430 date=1183371760
Quote from: Barman link=topic=692.  msg10425#msg10425 date=1183371614
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692.  msg10422#msg10422 date=1183371472
Too much information. 
Indeed? I moved it out of the saloon but wasn?t sure where else to dump it ? do you think it should go or do we need a medical room for such topics?  sick2:

A top idea sirrah! A medical room would be quite useful - after all, lots of medical stuff routinely gets discussed of a pie and a pint. 
How about women?s problems though?  noooo:

Have you never spent an illuminating evening earwigging the group of women at the table by the window? You'd be amazed at the exchange of information!! Positively makes your eyes boggle!
Makes my stomach turn? They should stand outside with the smokers if they want to talk about that stuff.  noooo:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:30:14 AM
Yes. All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them. I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:32:08 AM
Yes. All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them. I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:
I was in the chemist this morning and the woman in front of me asked if he had anything for cystitis ? just like that, bold as brass ? didn?t whisper or anything?   noooo:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:34:03 AM
Quote from: Nick link=topic=692. msg10438#msg10438 date=1183372214
Yes.  All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them.  I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:

I think you'll find that their 'plumbing' in the strict sense of the word is actually simpler - they don't have the damned valve that causes all or our problems do they?

They do, however, have much more interesting bits elsewhere!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:35:17 AM
I once got sent to the Chemist to buy some sanitary towels for Mrs Nick in some sort of plumbing emergency. Surveying the vast range on offer when the chemist man approached me and asked if I wanted help.

I said I wanted some sanitary towels.

He said, "For a woman?"

We both sort of froze after that eeek:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:35:57 AM
Yes. All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them. I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:
I was in the chemist this morning and the woman in front of me asked if he had anything for cystitis ? just like that, bold as brass ? didn?t whisper or anything?   noooo:

Cranberry Juice I am told!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:38:52 AM
Yes. All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them. I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:
I was in the chemist this morning and the woman in front of me asked if he had anything for cystitis ? just like that, bold as brass ? didn?t whisper or anything?   noooo:

Cranberry Juice I am told!

I am told that yoghurt can be useful on occasions too!  redface:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:42:15 AM
I think that is for thrush.

Christ, you've got me at it now too. evil:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:44:22 AM
I think that is for thrush.

Christ, you've got me at it now too. evil:

There you go! Not too painful was it? Hiding from these things is no good Nick. It doesn't make them go away anymore than it does with taxes and stuff.

So what's your 'complaint of the month' then?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:47:24 AM
I suggest you hide your e mail address from teh world by amending your profile!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 10:48:41 AM
By the way Nick, you're getting smote. My reason? You had a moan about this thread, yet I found  this thread  (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=185.0) in the top section!

Talk about double standards. You owe me a pint at least.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 10:49:01 AM
I think that is for thrush.

Christ, you've got me at it now too. evil:

There you go! Not too painful was it? Hiding from these things is no good Nick. It doesn't make them go away anymore than it does with taxes and stuff.

So what's your 'complaint of the month' then?

Oddly enough I have not been ill for ages, years I think. Consider Providence tempted
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 10:49:14 AM
Yes. All they talk about is plumbing too, except it seems more complicated with them. I have noticed a drift towards boob jobs and liposuction in recent years though eeek:
I was in the chemist this morning and the woman in front of me asked if he had anything for cystitis ? just like that, bold as brass ? didn?t whisper or anything?   noooo:

Cranberry Juice I am told!
She should have been in the bloody supermarket then!  point:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Mozo on July 02, 2007, 11:20:09 AM
No. Having a medical room would just encourage other hypochondriacs, whingers and so on to let it all hang out. I smote him!

Smote not lest ye be smitten!

Yours may HANG out, Nick.

Mine STICKS out !    ::)
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 11:21:23 AM
Braggart!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 11:22:15 AM
Is this what you call 'cock waving'?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 02, 2007, 01:42:17 PM
May we move on to Constipation?  Three days, no movement, despite heroic amounts of Young's Ordinary, a devilish Chicken Phall and seriously evil chile sauce...

I can only assume that my quest to try all the Biltong in the pub (Cow, Ostrich and some sort of Antelope type thingy) on Friday night caused a major blockage?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 01:43:57 PM
May we move on to Constipation?  Three days, no movement, despite heroic amounts of Young's Ordinary, a devilish Chicken Phall and seriously evil chile sauce...

I can only assume that my quest to try all the Biltong in the pub (Cow, Ostrich and some sort of Antelope type thingy) on Friday night caused a major blockage?
My home brew would do the trick!  whistle:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 02, 2007, 01:54:49 PM
May we move on to Constipation?  Three days, no movement, despite heroic amounts of Young's Ordinary, a devilish Chicken Phall and seriously evil chile sauce...

I can only assume that my quest to try all the Biltong in the pub (Cow, Ostrich and some sort of Antelope type thingy) on Friday night caused a major blockage?
My home brew would do the trick!  whistle:

I've already had some line cleaner (seriously) and that didn't work...normally guaranteed within a minute.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 01:56:05 PM
May we move on to Constipation?  Three days, no movement, despite heroic amounts of Young's Ordinary, a devilish Chicken Phall and seriously evil chile sauce...

I can only assume that my quest to try all the Biltong in the pub (Cow, Ostrich and some sort of Antelope type thingy) on Friday night caused a major blockage?
My home brew would do the trick!  whistle:

I've already had some line cleaner (seriously) and that didn't work...normally guaranteed within a minute.
My home brew would definitely do the trick!  ;)
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Bar Wench on July 02, 2007, 01:56:35 PM
Colonic irrigation?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 02:06:16 PM
Colonic irrigation?
Nah, just drink it...  noooo:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 02:09:32 PM
Anyway, which part of 'Men's eyes only' didn't you understand?  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Bar Wench on July 02, 2007, 02:17:02 PM
 cussing:

I'll sue!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 02:40:55 PM
cussing:

I'll sue!
If you?re a ?boy named Sue? you can read it then?  point:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Bar Wench on July 02, 2007, 03:04:14 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 03:35:46 PM
Diarrhoea anyone?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Snoopy on July 02, 2007, 04:08:05 PM
No thanks ~ I think I've got some here somewhere ..... just hold my bicycle clips will you.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 04:15:24 PM
Not me. Just wondering. Perhaps the constipated and the diarrhoeaised (sp?) could meet in the Snug and compare notes!
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Snoopy on July 02, 2007, 04:21:36 PM
Not me. Just wondering. Perhaps the constipated and the diarrhoeaised (sp?) could meet in the Snug and compare notes!

Don't you think conversation might be a bit strained?
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2007, 04:34:14 PM
Not me. Just wondering. Perhaps the constipated and the diarrhoeaised (sp?) could meet in the Snug and compare notes!

Don't you think conversation might be a bit strained?
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 05:01:44 PM
 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 02, 2007, 05:57:12 PM
Not me. Just wondering. Perhaps the constipated and the diarrhoeaised (sp?) could meet in the Snug and compare notes!

Don't you think conversation might be a bit strained?

just don't try cracking out a crafty one! It could very well end in tears.
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Snoopy on July 02, 2007, 06:01:53 PM
Not me. Just wondering. Perhaps the constipated and the diarrhoeaised (sp?) could meet in the Snug and compare notes!

Don't you think conversation might be a bit strained?

just don't try cracking out a crafty one! It could very well end in tears.

Why do you think I'm wearing the bicycle clips? Banghead
Title: Re: Sorry Ladies ~ Mens' Eyes Only !
Post by: Nick on July 02, 2007, 08:32:42 PM
Bike?