The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on June 29, 2007, 11:15:24 PM

Title: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on June 29, 2007, 11:15:24 PM
Doin' me duty tonight...as usual, new man you know whistle:....and was at the checkout having a bit of banter, when there was an almighty bloody crash from the nearby booze aisle. eeek:
Nearly dropped me lentils I'd purchased for Mozo! ;D

There standing with the full munters grins, were 2 ferkin' apes, trying to carry...unsuccessfully...2 very large boxes of bottles of Grolch each stacked up on top of each other. Probably 12 in each box.
They couldn't see where they where going ffs. ::)
1 of the boxes had either overbalanced or he'd crashed into his gorrila friend and fallen to the floor smashing the entire contents.
DIDN'T YOU NOT CONSIDER USING A TROLLEY YOU USELESS BREATH WASTING WASTE OF SPACE, or is that a vacumn I detect between your ears? evil:

The lad on the checkout rolled his eyes and exclaimed "down goes our bonus again" as these two tossers gently strolled away for the staff to clean up after them...ARSE HOLES! evil:
God, I fckin' hate this bastard country and the majority of it's selfish reptilian residents. Banghead
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2007, 06:08:43 AM
Doin' me duty tonight...as usual, new man you know whistle:....and was at the checkout having a bit of banter, when there was an almighty bloody crash from the nearby booze aisle. eeek:
Nearly dropped me lentils I'd purchased for Mozo! ;D

There standing with the full munters grins, were 2 ferkin' apes, trying to carry...unsuccessfully...2 very large boxes of bottles of Grolch each stacked up on top of each other. Probably 12 in each box.
They couldn't see where they where going ffs. ::)
1 of the boxes had either overbalanced or he'd crashed into his gorrila friend and fallen to the floor smashing the entire contents.
DIDN'T YOU NOT CONSIDER USING A TROLLEY YOU USELESS BREATH WASTING WASTE OF SPACE, or is that a vacumn I detect between your ears? evil:

The lad on the checkout rolled his eyes and exclaimed "down goes our bonus again" as these two tossers gently strolled away for the staff to clean up after them...ARSE HOLES! evil:
God, I fckin' hate this bastard country and the majority of it's selfish reptilian residents. Banghead
Poor you...  happy100

Not to worry though, that nice Mr. Brown is in charge now ? he?ll sort everything out? won?t he?  noooo:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Berek on June 30, 2007, 07:32:44 AM
have you seen the self service checkouts in ASDA ???.. I wont try one in fear of doing a Nick and bringing the store to a standstill whistle:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on June 30, 2007, 08:06:03 AM
have you seen the self service checkouts in ASDA ???.. I wont try one in fear of doing a Nick and bringing the store to a standstill whistle:

Same here. They bloody talk to you! eeek:
I could see me having an arguement with one tbh

"HOW MUCH?" evil:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Mr Happy on June 30, 2007, 09:57:52 AM
WTF do they give checkout staff a bonus for?

The self service checkout is shite, they don't reduce the price for the fact that you're replacing one of their paid muppetts.  If you get anything from the ol reduced shelf it doesn't work and the Poles just use it as a rob-a-thon.

I scanned a bottle of Lancaster Bomber last night and the stupid thing shouted 'approval needed' at me.  Happy to oblige, out came the Swiss Army Knife, bottle top off, necked it.  Met with my approval no problem  ;)
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Mozo on June 30, 2007, 10:46:17 AM
Doin' me duty tonight...as usual, new man you know whistle:....and was at the checkout having a bit of banter, when there was an almighty bloody crash from the nearby booze aisle. eeek:
Nearly dropped me lentils I'd purchased for Mozo! ;D

Deeply touched, Growler.    sad24:

Don't write ... send lentils!
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2007, 11:07:33 AM
WTF do they give checkout staff a bonus for?

The self service checkout is shite, they don't reduce the price for the fact that you're replacing one of their paid muppetts.  If you get anything from the ol reduced shelf it doesn't work and the Poles just use it as a rob-a-thon.

I scanned a bottle of Lancaster Bomber last night and the stupid thing shouted 'approval needed' at me.  Happy to oblige, out came the Swiss Army Knife, bottle top off, necked it.  Met with my approval no problem  ;)
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 07:43:18 AM
Ummm the supermarket you were frequenting is often inhabited by these sorts of people. If you must use Asda use their home delivery system. I still don't really understand why anyone who is even vaguely pc literate still uses the supermarket.
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2007, 07:46:05 AM
Ummm the supermarket you were frequenting is often inhabited by these sorts of people. If you must use Asda use their home delivery system. I still don't really understand why anyone who is even vaguely pc literate still uses the supermarket.
Home delivery is the (non environmentally friendly) way forward for sure!  ;)
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on July 03, 2007, 07:46:17 AM
Ummm the supermarket you were frequenting is often inhabited by these sorts of people. If you must use Asda use their home delivery system. I still don't really understand why anyone who is even vaguely pc literate still uses the supermarket.
Simply because they send you all the stalest oldest shite they have.
I always take great pleasure in rummaging to the back of the shelves to get the fresh stuff
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 07:47:39 AM
Hmmm, never had that problem. Having said that fruit, veg and meat gets purchased locally so it is really only store cupboard stuff I get delivered.
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on July 03, 2007, 07:59:27 AM
Hmmm, never had that problem. Having said that fruit, veg and meat gets purchased locally so it is really only store cupboard stuff I get delivered.

Fruit veg and meat LOCALLY?

The shops around here that used to sell that sort of produce are now selling stinking rat meat Kebabs, happy bastard pizzas or grossly overpriced houses....not forgetting Chantels nail bastard fckin parlour. evil:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 08:00:13 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2007, 08:02:52 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on July 03, 2007, 08:06:50 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:

I'd love to see her in her wellies. Nowt else, just wellies. cloud9:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2007, 08:19:09 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:

I'd love to see her in her wellies. Nowt else, just wellies. cloud9:

Secateurs in one hand a basket in the other?   eeek:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 08:20:36 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:

No, I don't  eeek:

I want one though.

At the moment my garden is taken over by 15 tomato plants, 10 cucumber plants and a variety of lettuce and salad leaves. Mr Wench has caught the gardening bug and his new found enthusiasm knows no bounds. The height of romance in the Wench household at the moment is the nightly slug collection.  sick2:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: GROWLER on July 03, 2007, 08:22:22 AM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:

I'd love to see her in her wellies. Nowt else, just wellies. cloud9:

Secateurs in one hand a basket in the other?   eeek:

 eeek:

Yea. Merrily skipping through the cabbage patch to the sounds of 'Lets go to San Francisco' with flowers in our hair. angel1
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 08:23:08 AM
Hey nonny nonny.  ::)
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Mr Happy on July 03, 2007, 11:04:27 AM
The height of romance in the Wench household at the moment is the nightly slug collection.  sick2:

I've never heard it called that before...
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 03, 2007, 01:03:15 PM
Mr Wench has caught the gardening bug

My advice is to step on it quickly. noooo:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2007, 02:52:31 PM
I live in suburbia Dahling. Lots of Yummy Tofu Mummys that won't accept anything but the best.
Plus she has an allotment!  point:

No, I don't  eeek:

I want one though.

At the moment my garden is taken over by 15 tomato plants, 10 cucumber plants and a variety of lettuce and salad leaves. Mr Wench has caught the gardening bug and his new found enthusiasm knows no bounds. The height of romance in the Wench household at the moment is the nightly slug collection.  sick2:
Wasn?t as funny as I?d imagined ? a joke about Mr. Wench having a small holding would have been better with hindsight?  drumroll:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Bar Wench on July 03, 2007, 03:23:32 PM
I agree.  lol:
Title: Re: Useless gormless cretins in Asda
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2007, 05:36:18 PM
I agree.  lol:
;D