The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on August 10, 2009, 06:58:39 PM
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This is really getting on my tits now evil:
Werkmen come and knock hell out of our living room and the Boy's bedroom for over a week. Amazing mess and noise.
There there is a pause
Then sanding floors man comes and we have to shift all furniture out of the living room to clear it. OK.
Currently then, My office, in addition to its usual furniture, contains: a three piece suite, a mahoosive telly, several tables, about 400 cushions and other shite. The bathroom (MY bathroom) is full of PLANTS, like a fooking jungle evil:
The landing outside contains a bookcase, corner unit, stereo system and a lamp. To get into the office, into the bathroom or anywhere near the stairs I have to breathe in evil: Bathroom may also require a machete in due course cussing:
Upstairs most of the furniture from The Boy's bedroom is in our bedroom making into some sort of nightmarish assault course. Other stuff (including several hundred books) spill out onto the stairs.
The dining room is being used for 'overflow stuff' so it looks like a junk shop. So does the route to the front door. cussing:
Only the kitchen is normal.
This situation will prevail, it seems, until about the 28th of this month cussing: when we can put stuff back in the living room and will drift on into the first week of September for the Boy's room.
After that werkmen will return to destroy our bedroom cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: Banghead Angry9:
Tonight Mrs Nick springs a new set of information on me Angry9:
We have another house nearby that we rent out to students. It is currently empty. She suggests we move there (during the day mercifully) so we have somewhere to sit. Mebbe rubschin:
But there is a catch.
Mrs Nick: I have bought something called a Paint Pod eeek: and since it needs some redecorating we can do that to keep ourselves busy.'
angry041: angry041: angry041: Explode:
Me: 'And what about The Boy?'
'He is going to paint the shed. while you cut the lawn' eeek:
Me: 'But but but, the lawn is 2 feet high.' sad24:
'So it needs doing then. eveilgrin:'
Explode:
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shutup:
I think you've just won the Post of the Week award!
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I forgot to mention the Boy's historic collection of enormous stuffed toys evil: evil: evil: evil: under my desk. My feet are resting on a hooge teddy bear noooo:
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And where do they fit into the Rubik's Cube that is your ever changing dwelling?
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Stuffed under his bed normally along with the plates, fungus, apple cores, sweet papers, cheesy socks and other shite cussing:
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Now ~ Think carefully ........... What was it that attracted you to the lady in the first place?
Was it her sweet and reasonable nature? angel1
Was it that you were overwhelmed by her radiant beauty? cloud9:
Was it the size and shape of her bosom/backside/legs? whistle:
Was it her willingness to indulge your every whim? eyes:
Was it her organisational abilities? whip:
Was it that you were blind drunk when you proposed marriage? eastdrink048
Was it that she ordered you to marry her? angry041:
Whatever it was YOU surrender: failed to resist and must now pay. eveilgrin:
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shocked003
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It was obviously her property portfolio whistle:
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And you can fook off! evil:
I also find that MY tenants in whistle: (cough) the London flat are moving out at the end of the month and werk will be required there too. I shall have to spend a few days there I think cloud9: and will therefore be unable to visit her relatives in fooking Swansea eveilgrin:
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The end of the month you say scared2: scared2: scared2:
Pastis will be pleased to see you again whistle:
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I could do a whelks and collapso party rubschin:
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Think that might be a solo night in sick2:
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It was obviously her property portfolio whistle:
doh: I hadn't considered he would be so base as to marry the woman for her assets.
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BM will be delighted to have a Pod Buddy whistle:
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Fooking thing had better werk, like evil:
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Fooking thing had better werk, like evil:
PaintPod! point:
happy001
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I have a list of DIY jobs as long as yer arm - assuming you have an extremely long arm that is! Banghead
Her sister is arriving Sunday for a week... noooo:
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We have another house nearby... currently empty.
And it didn't cross your mind to move in there before the workmen arrived?
noooo:
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No evil:
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I have a list of DIY jobs as long as yer arm - assuming you have an extremely long arm that is! Banghead
Her sister is arriving Sunday for a week... noooo:
point:
Double trouble. Have you thought of leaving the country?
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I have a list of DIY jobs as long as yer arm - assuming you have an extremely long arm that is! Banghead
Her sister is arriving Sunday for a week... noooo:
point:
Double trouble. Have you thought of leaving the country?
I did think of it actually.... redface:
School holidays tho - return fare ?850! Banghead
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Chaotic systems appear to be disorderly, even random. But they are not. Beneath the random behavior is a sense of order and pattern. Truly random systems are not chaotic. ......
So applying that to your circumstances - seek solace in the fact that Mrs Nick is probably, in all likelihood, to be a very orderly person.
Hope you know where you've stored all The Boy's new school uniform - you wouldn't want to start the first day off in a new school with the wrong impression scared2:
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Off we go again!
Mrs Nick has discovered a defect in the last lot of building work and is demanding they come back to fix it evil: Yes, there is a defect, visibile only from floor level with the use of a microsope noooo:
And now we have to go out to arrange to recarpet the other house. All of it. noooo:
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Chaotic systems appear to be disorderly, even random. But they are not. Beneath the random behavior is a sense of order and pattern. Truly random systems are not chaotic. ......
So applying that to your circumstances - seek solace in the fact that Mrs Nick is probably, in all likelihood, to be a very orderly person.
Hope you know where you've stored all The Boy's new school uniform - you wouldn't want to start the first day off in a new school with the wrong impression scared2:
All The Boy's skool uniform is now here. Spread around the house in bags and covered by piles of shite, but here. Somewhere noooo:
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Off we go again!
Mrs Nick has discovered a defect in the last lot of building work and is demanding they come back to fix it evil: Yes, there is a defect, visibile only from floor level with the use of a microsope noooo:
And now we have to go out to arrange to recarpet the other house. All of it. noooo:
Even the newly sanded bits...? rubschin:
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Eh?
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Eh?
Oh I see... the other house... redface:
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Yes, house number three whistle:
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Yes, house number three whistle:
You're a proper little property tycoon aren'tcha?
Did you like Monopoly when you were a kid like...?
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Yes, house number three whistle:
You're a proper little property tycoon aren'tcha?
Did you like Monopoly when you were a kid like...?
I bet every time he threw the dice he knocked over all the little houses. ;)
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Yes, house number three whistle:
You're a proper little property tycoon aren'tcha?
Did you like Monopoly when you were a kid like...?
I bet every time he threw the dice he knocked over all the little houses. ;)
happy001
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Bugger.
Sandman left all his stuff here including 2 mahoosive sanding machines. Plugged in.
As he left last night, he said, 'The Boy won't touch those will he?'
We reassured him.
Wrongly cussing:
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Bugger.
Sandman left all his stuff here including 2 mahoosive sanding machines. Plugged in.
As he left last night, he said, 'The Boy won't touch those will he?'
We reassured him.
Wrongly cussing:
lol: lol: lol:
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You could start offering pedicures to your neighbours like whistle:
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rubschin:
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Offer to live in the second house BY YOURSELF (this is very important) while you redecorate etc . Then get the local handyman in to do the work for you. Simples.
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That is a very good plan!!
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One does one's best lol:
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If you follow this very good plan don't forget to splash a little paint about your person in case you happen to meet Mrs Nick.
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Top tip, shaggy!
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Your are now a co-conspirator in this plan Snoops and will be blamed by Mrs Nick for leading her man astray whistle:
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scared2:
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point: