The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 02:15:53 PM
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Popcorn:
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eeek: Popcorn:
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Popcorn: Popcorn:
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She has buggered off like... noooo:
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I think a Sunday Lunch is called for rubschin:
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Popcorn:
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I think a Sunday Lunch is called for rubschin:
Careful what you wish for , we might all rock up! 8)
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eeek:
Popcorn:
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I am back ...though still not home yet....plane delays yesterday so I think there is very little chance of me working at home today whistle:
The last few days have been totally and utterly mental - culminating in a scene yesterday eeek:
Still had a fabulous time and of course am glad to 'see' you all again cloud9:
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A scene?
Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
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Your leetle waiters did not want to let you go? The Brat has fallen in lurve and wants to stay behind? Customs objected to your bring home a camel? Drugs found in the back pack that nice boy asked you to deliver to his uncle in the UK?
WHAT????????
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She has gone... Shrugs:
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Banghead
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OMG !!!!!!!
The Pool boy ( he is only 20 eeek: ) asked me on a date a couple of nights ago noooo: - I didn't turn up , I had said I wouldn't - the next day he was really arsey with me Shrugs:
Then he apologised and gave it the usual blarney...so spent about half an hour talking to him about his 'stuff'. Waiter man who thought he 'owned' me, saw this and did not like this 'conversation' - so the two of them ended up having a huge argument noooo: However after that waiter man left well alone thank goodness.
However meanwhile in the hotel there is a main buffet restuarant and an adult one - which was much quieter, smaller , lovely views etc. And so obviously my place of choice to eat , especially for breakfast.
Restuarant manager , often came over and chatted but over the last coule of days had started to get weird. On Saturday when I told him I would be going home tomorrow he got sad - to the point of crying - a performance that I think even Meryl Streep would not have been unable to rival whistle:
Please bear in mind that I no way believe any of this crap and totally get the single white western female ticket is all that they see ::)
Yesterday, being my final day, he saw me in the main restuarant with the Brat and asked me to come over when we had finished as he had prepared a special going away breakfast. I walked in there with my friend and her husband and he had prepared a special area with flowers and all that stuff. My mate was pissing herself - it was sooooo cringe worthy ....anyhoo he started crying again ...so I ate my stuff and got out of there bloody quickly.
Only to be followed all day by this man ....standing in front of the Brat and her friends and my friends telling that he lurved me .....oh FFS Banghead Banghead Banghead. Obviously the Brat and her best friend were just in hysterics noooo:
Pool boy saw this and then came over and asked if he was troubling me and yet another altercation took place. Restuarant manager punched him eeek:
I am condensing much of this but suffice to say this culminated in a marriage proposal in front of the whole reception area yesterday as we were waiting for the coach to take us back to the airport...naturally with assoicated tears ( his of course)
then I had to face the whole of the coach party taking the piss ...
Anyhoo - good to be back lol: lol: lol:
Great holiday though cloud9:
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So ~
Bognor next year is it?
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Well, if nothing else, that has put a smile on the start of my day. smile:
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Good grief woman, did you not heed my advice re leaving the Lynx aftershave at home. lol:
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Since he has access to the hotel registrations (and thus your address) what's the betting he turns up on your doorstep within a year begging to be allowed to stay?
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Since he has access to the hotel registrations (and thus your address) what's the betting he turns up on your doorstep within a year begging to be allowed to stay?
eeek:
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Time to move then lol:
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That happened to me once. Mrs S#1 got into conversation with a German in a bar and gave him her (our) phone number with the standard "If ever you are in England" ~ bastard turned up about 6 months later and stayed for weeks.
Yes I expect she did.
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OMG !!!!!!!
The Pool boy ( he is only 20 eeek: ) asked me on a date a couple of nights ago noooo: - I didn't turn up , I had said I wouldn't - the next day he was really arsey with me Shrugs:
Then he apologised and gave it the usual blarney...so spent about half an hour talking to him about his 'stuff'. Waiter man who thought he 'owned' me, saw this and did not like this 'conversation' - so the two of them ended up having a huge argument noooo: However after that waiter man left well alone thank goodness.
However meanwhile in the hotel there is a main buffet restuarant and an adult one - which was much quieter, smaller , lovely views etc. And so obviously my place of choice to eat , especially for breakfast.
Restuarant manager , often came over and chatted but over the last coule of days had started to get weird. On Saturday when I told him I would be going home tomorrow he got sad - to the point of crying - a performance that I think even Meryl Streep would not have been unable to rival whistle:
Please bear in mind that I no way believe any of this crap and totally get the single white western female ticket is all that they see ::)
Yesterday, being my final day, he saw me in the main restuarant with the Brat and asked me to come over when we had finished as he had prepared a special going away breakfast. I walked in there with my friend and her husband and he had prepared a special area with flowers and all that stuff. My mate was pissing herself - it was sooooo cringe worthy ....anyhoo he started crying again ...so I ate my stuff and got out of there bloody quickly.
Only to be followed all day by this man ....standing in front of the Brat and her friends and my friends telling that he lurved me .....oh FFS Banghead Banghead Banghead. Obviously the Brat and her best friend were just in hysterics noooo:
Pool boy saw this and then came over and asked if he was troubling me and yet another altercation took place. Restuarant manager punched him eeek:
I am condensing much of this but suffice to say this culminated in a marriage proposal in front of the whole reception area yesterday as we were waiting for the coach to take us back to the airport...naturally with assoicated tears ( his of course)
then I had to face the whole of the coach party taking the piss ...
Anyhoo - good to be back lol: lol: lol:
Great holiday though cloud9:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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eeek:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Good Grief!
Scary but very funny. ;D ;D
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Sorry but I have to happy001 happy001
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Oh I also forgot - I was asked if I had any lesbian tendencies - by that was by a fellow female guest eeek: eeek: eeek:
Now she was scary scared2:
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Sounds like a good holiday.
What did you say to her? Popcorn:
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noooo:
That my friend, who I did much lazing on sunbeds with , was married and her husband- who burns easily - was therefore not interested in joining us.
That we were not lovers and we were in fact just very very good friends angel1
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Sounds like a pack of lies to me noooo:
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Naturally noooo: noooo: noooo:
Now I have to start the whole process of unpacking ......how depressing cry:
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Check carefully for stowaway scorpions.snakes/deadly spiders/diminutive hotel boys
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I was given a present as a keepsake noooo: noooo: noooo:
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Does it vibrate?
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No - but it might decay sick2:
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You bought a body back. eeek:
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It's something dead, deffo noooo:
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It's been binned don't worry noooo:
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And it was? Popcorn:
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Oh please don't make me say - it was excruciating redface:
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Popcorn:
She is dying to tell us Popcorn:
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Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
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Anyway back to holiday snaps ....this is one I took ( honestly) when we went for a star gazing night out - through a super dooper telescope of course ...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg26.imageshack.us%2Fimg26%2F2373%2F32365643.th.jpg&hash=f16c2351c6692a70dce898a9c64ee3690042dc10) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1m_Fii)
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Anyway back to holiday snaps ....this is one I took ( honestly) when we went for a star gazing night out - through a super dooper telescope of course ...
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg26.imageshack.us%2Fimg26%2F2373%2F32365643.th.jpg&hash=f16c2351c6692a70dce898a9c64ee3690042dc10) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1m_Fii)
A romantic walk under the stars eh...? eyes:
Popcorn:
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It looks like a bad picture of someone with acne noooo:
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
I shall share no more then evil:
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You have more snaps of other popular skin diseases? eeek:
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It is my speciality whistle:
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
I shall share no more then evil:
Take no notice of their callous remarks Miss D, they have missed your presence. Liken it, if you will, to a dog that you put into kennels, it is so pleased to see you when you collect it, but misbehaves just to make it's displeasure known. ;)
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She has been fought over by A-rabs and chased by a lesbian. 'A good holiday' she calls it whacky115
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That is all the 'aside stuff ' - the main part and context of the holiday was to relax , spend time with The Brat and my friends, enjoy ourselves, go and explore and forget all about the day to day stuff. This was done in abundance.
The Brat and I actually got on really well - she even became affectionate ( must have been heat stroke) . Time spent with my friend and her husband is always brilliant as they are the loveliest people you could meet. The kids were happy . We had many many laughs and some of these were not even at my expense .
So yes - a great holiday indeed lol:
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
I shall share no more then evil:
Take no notice of their callous remarks Miss D, they have missed your presence. Liken it, if you will, to a dog that you put into kennels, it is so pleased to see you when you collect it, but misbehaves just to make it's displeasure known. ;)
Aaahh I see - a bit of disciplinary action is required then eh ;)
By the way I am sure I will catch up Miss C - but where for art thou legs gone eeek:
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I have it. A likeness of your good self fashioned out of varnished camel dung!
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It is coming back, BM has promised to clean it off and let me have it back, prolly best you don't think too much about that, I had porcine flu (wel,l a bit of a cold to say the least) Mr Selection sent me off truffle hunting. sad24:
As you can imagine I got no sympathy. noooo:
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Poor poor you happy100
and it was so bad your legs fell off eeek: - is this one of the more obscure symptoms ????
BM is restoring them you say ......have you always wanted to walk backwards eeek:
I hope you are resting and being given lots of treats to make you feel better 8)
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I have it. A likeness of your good self fashioned out of varnished camel dung!
It is my side profile taken at hip level doh:
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So, this present then ?
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A likeness of Miss D fashioned out of varnished camel dung!
Like I said, like ::)
That or a mummified donkey willy
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
I was presented with a very small ( fit in the palm of your hand) , silver trinket box, which in itself was lovely. As this was in reception and everyone was there I did not offend by refusing the gift and graciously just said thank you.
When he started shaking his head I worried that I had done the wrong thing and not wanting any more tears once again repeated thank you , it was very thoughtful etc etc etc. Must go coach is waiting - that kind of thing.
He then produced a pair of nail scissors from his pocket. So to my mind I was either going to be stabbed through the heart ...although I'm sure he didn't think I had one at this point or in the eyes . When he turned and said I must take a piece of him with me I was obviously alarmed that a pair of nail scissors would be adequate to perform this kind of operation. However I must learn to take my smutty , cynical mind out of the gutter. He cut off one of his curly locks and placed it in the box. How bloody dramatic do you want to be noooo: noooo: noooo:
When I turned round my friend had dissolved into tears of stifled laughter and was crossing her legs so that she didn't wet herself. I think I went beetroot red and scuttled to the coach in the fastest scarab walk I could muster and boarded the coach. I couldn't look out the window again but they were all saying ahhhh 'he's crying' noooo: noooo: noooo:
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That is an A-rab marriage ceremony. You will have to get him a visa now noooo:
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Or a rucksack rubschin:
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Curly locks? eeek:
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oh dear.....
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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they were all saying ahhhh 'he's crying'
She prolly kicked him noooo:
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Poor poor you happy100
and it was so bad your legs fell off eeek: - is this one of the more obscure symptoms ????
BM is restoring them you say ......have you always wanted to walk backwards eeek:
I hope you are resting and being given lots of treats to make you feel better 8)
There you see I am restored, there are only one or two small stains and you can't really see them. I shall just have to practice walking. redface:
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I said it would happen!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2007%2F04_01%2FvalentineDM1204_468x376.jpg&hash=2eba3339f3ded764942ef3e49976a012a282afdb)
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He's prolly en route to Sangatte right now noooo:
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Curly locks? eeek:
Yes BM - some men do have hair whistle:
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Curly locks? eeek:
Yes BM - some men do have hair whistle:
Banghead
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Curly locks? eeek:
Yes BM - some men do have hair whistle:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happ096 happy088
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He's prolly en route to Sangatte right now noooo:
Shouldn't you and Mrs Nick organise a weekend down there to broaden your horizons even further lol:
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Do they have Patagonian flute players there then?
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He's prolly en route to Sangatte right now noooo:
Shouldn't you and Mrs Nick organise a weekend down there to broaden your horizons even further lol:
I might get a bit more for her in Egypt rubschin:
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I have received an email this morning from matey boy eeek: eeek: eeek:
I forgot we put email addresses on comments cards etc noooo:
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Didn't I tell you he would? whistle:
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eeek:
You're doomed.
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Can you tell me the lottery numbers for this week please Snoops lol:
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He can't - he seems to know a lot about how to stalk women though rubschin:
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Mmmmm good point well made ......he will blame it on his hunting pedigree no doubt whistle:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fredtreetimes.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2Fkid-snoopy_cool.jpg&hash=a513f129f1220d93a93b2d9af30ffdd321fc6ea8)
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Have you replied? Popcorn:
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That's a definite no, no. noooo:
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Popcorn:
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Have you replied? Popcorn:
I have and then I have blocked any further emails from his address whistle:
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noooo:
He is busying signing up for googlemail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. etc. etc.