The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2009, 04:19:41 PM
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I have just been in the garden sprinkling salt on slugs. eveilgrin:
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I have just been in the garden sprinkling salt on slugs. eveilgrin:
eveilgrin:
The dog's food bowl attracted a mahoosive swarm of wasps yesterday... eveilgrin:
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...and?
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
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...and?
Well, I thwacked them all of course! eveilgrin:
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
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...and?
Well, I thwacked them all of course! eveilgrin:
What is the point of wasps and daddylonglegs?
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
You should have tried Dettol Kitchen Spray - they hate that! eveilgrin:
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
You should have tried Dettol Kitchen Spray - they hate that! eveilgrin:
I usually deploy the hairspray and match option myself eveilgrin:
Note to Nick ~ not advisable in a wooden porch or shed ~ or anywhere in your case.
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
You should have tried Dettol Kitchen Spray - they hate that! eveilgrin:
I usually deploy the hairspray and match option myself eveilgrin:
Note to Nick ~ not advisable in a wooden porch or shed ~ or anywhere in your case.
Yes Nick... this is one of those 'sit down and forget about it moments'.... whistle:
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I once set an ants' nest on fire. That was unwise, since it was under Mrs Nick (2B's) kitchen noooo:
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And she still married you? shocked003
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I explained it away, like
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
You should have tried Dettol Kitchen Spray - they hate that! eveilgrin:
I want to get rid of them not just wind them up a bit. evil:
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I explained it away, like
How? Popcorn:
This is going to be a good one I can feel it in my bones.
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I explained it away, like
Spontaneous combustion perchance...? whistle:
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Have I told you about my wasps nest?
Is that a euphemism...? rubschin:
Nooo noooo: I have a wasp's nest in the roof of the porch not the brightest idea to spray the entrance with fly killer. redface:
You should have tried Dettol Kitchen Spray - they hate that! eveilgrin:
I want to get rid of them not just wind them up a bit. evil:
Kills them on contact! eveilgrin:
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That sounds good in theory but there are millions of them. I am a whimp at heart. scared2:
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That sounds good in theory but there are millions of them. I am a whimp at heart. scared2:
Trust me! angel1
Get the aerosol version for a steady flow! whistle:
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I shall get some tomorrow, if I get stung on your head be it.
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I shall get some tomorrow, if I get stung on your head be it.
Well, the sting won't be on my head will it...? ::)
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Personally Miss C, if I were you, I'd call in an expert. Shut the doors and windows and leave him to it. It'll cost about ?30 but you'll be rid of the little buggers and he takes all the risks.
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Personally Miss C, if I were you, I'd call in an expert. Shut the doors and windows and leave him to it. It'll cost about ?30 but you'll be rid of the little buggers and he takes all the risks.
We called the 'experts' when we had a wasps nest in the loft of our house in Maidenhead...
After about five minutes the 'expert' came tumbling down the loft hatch and ran out of the house never to be seen again... noooo:
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What had he found?
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Personally Miss C, if I were you, I'd call in an expert. Shut the doors and windows and leave him to it. It'll cost about ?30 but you'll be rid of the little buggers and he takes all the risks.
We called the 'experts' when we had a wasps nest in the loft of our house in Maidenhead...
After about five minutes the 'expert' came tumbling down the loft hatch and ran out of the house never to be seen again... noooo:
Unlikely to be the same expert tho' noooo:
Best to contact the council and ask who they have that deals with wasps.
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The council will just send the usual lesbians along noooo:
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The council will just send the usual lesbians along noooo:
eeek:
We get a dark, beetle browed, saturnine Welshman who answers to the name of Jones the pest
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What had he found?
The fecking great wasps nest I sent him up there to remove! ::)
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The council will just send the usual lesbians along noooo:
eeek:
We get a dark, beetle browed, saturnine Welshman who answers to the name of Jones the pest
When I lived in Dinas Powys 'Jones the pest' was the local flasher. ;)
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I suppose you must miss him
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noooo: Can't say as I do.
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The council will just send the usual lesbians along noooo:
eeek:
We get a dark, beetle browed, saturnine Welshman who answers to the name of Jones the pest
When I lived in Dinas Powys 'Jones the pest' was the local flasher. ;)
drumroll:
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Asking the council isn't a bad idea, some of them will do it for free.
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Do you honestly think that I am going to the local council to ask them to send a 'flasher' round free of charge. I am more than capable of loitering on street corners waiting for my own, I'll have you know. noooo:
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It was only a suggestion, no need to get your knickers in a twist.
Honestly you can't help some people !!! ;)
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I can do flashing for a small fee
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I can do flashing for a small fee
A very small fee ~ he charges by the inch or part thereof.
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lol: lol: Will I have to pay his traveling expenses
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I can do flashing for a small fee
A very small fee ~ he charges by the inch mm or part thereof.
There... ;)
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sad24:
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lol: lol: Will I have to pay his traveling expenses
Yes, if you want him to put himself out for you.
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lol: lol: Will I have to pay his traveling expenses
Yes, if you want him to put himself out for you.
Umm but now he has damaged it and it's bleeding all over the place, bleeding as in huge gouts of blood rather than flopping about in a random manner, although it might well be doing that as well.
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lol: lol: Will I have to pay his traveling expenses
Yes, if you want him to put himself out for you.
Umm but now he has damaged it and it's bleeding all over the place, bleeding as in huge gouts of blood rather than flopping about in a random manner, although it might well be doing that as well.
You paint a wonderful word picture ~ the vision will remain to haunt me for a long time I suspect. surrender:
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Nightmares tonight then? eveilgrin:
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I shall take a pill and sleep like the dead.
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Be carefull you never know what might happen at your advanced age, still, I will say a few kind words at your funeral....Honest angel1
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They are prescription sleeping pills. I take them regularly.
But do tell me more about the kind words. cloud9:
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They are prescription sleeping pills. I take them regularly.
But do tell me more about the kind words. cloud9:
Loyal, obedient, chases sticks and shags legs will that do for starters?
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They are prescription sleeping pills. I take them regularly.
But do tell me more about the kind words. cloud9:
Loyal, obedient, chases sticks and shags legs will that do for starters?
Very suitable ::)
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There is a huge slug on the patio, it's brown and huge in a huge sort of way, but it's not feeling very well I think it has been munching slug pellets. I may take pictures. eveilgrin:
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There is a huge slug on the patio, it's brown and huge in a huge sort of way, but it's not feeling very well I think it has been munching slug pellets. I may take pictures. eveilgrin:
Are you sure it is a slug and you haven't had a nocturnal visit by Nicks builders?
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Take it fishing! eveilgrin:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FgxebfZA.jpg&hash=02be91306deb6b8f0bf08efd694a799f0751366f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxebfZA)
Deffo a slug and not Nicks nocturnal (try saying that rapidly) visitor.
Slugs don't like fishing I asked it. angel1
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FgxebfZA.jpg&hash=02be91306deb6b8f0bf08efd694a799f0751366f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gxebfZA)
Deffo a slug and not Nicks nocturnal (try saying that rapidly) visitor.
Slugs don't like fishing I asked it. angel1
If those are railway sleepers it is sitting on, you have every need to worry. scared2:
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I did tell you that it was huge.
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There's huge and there's hooooge and there's taking the p*ss. rubschin:
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It is taking the piss, seriously it is now being rinsed off by the rain I fear for my safety.
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Cricket bat! eveilgrin:
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Yesterday you wanted me to befriend it and take it on outings and today you want me to kill it off, how fickle. lol:
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Yesterday you wanted me to befriend it and take it on outings and today you want me to kill it off, how fickle. lol:
So, which did you do...? Shrugs:
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Reminds me of a story I think I heard on the wireless about an advertisment for a "Guaranteed 100% effective cure for garden slugs. Only ?10"
Intrigued, the story teller sent off for it and by return received a parcel containing two blocks of wood and a photocopied instruction sheet which began 'place the slug on the lower block..."
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Reminds me of a story I think I heard on the wireless about an advertisment for a "Guaranteed 100% effective cure for garden slugs. Only ?10"
Intrigued, the story teller sent off for it and by return received a parcel containing two blocks of wood and a photocopied instruction sheet which began 'place the slug on the lower block..."
And I suppose you'll only tell us the rest if we send you ?10...? rubschin:
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Reminds me of a story I think I heard on the wireless about an advertisment for a "Guaranteed 100% effective cure for garden slugs. Only ?10"
Intrigued, the story teller sent off for it and by return received a parcel containing two blocks of wood and a photocopied instruction sheet which began 'place the slug on the lower block..."
And I suppose you'll only tell us the rest if we send you ?10...? rubschin:
?8.
There is a special discount for VP members.
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Reminds me of a story I think I heard on the wireless about an advertisment for a "Guaranteed 100% effective cure for garden slugs. Only ?10"
Intrigued, the story teller sent off for it and by return received a parcel containing two blocks of wood and a photocopied instruction sheet which began 'place the slug on the lower block..."
And I suppose you'll only tell us the rest if we send you ?10...? rubschin:
?8.
There is a special discount for VP members.
Oooooh, only eight Pounds! cloud9:
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Yesterday you wanted me to befriend it and take it on outings and today you want me to kill it off, how fickle. lol:
So, which did you do...? Shrugs:
I have been trying to teach it to play cricket. whistle:
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Yesterday you wanted me to befriend it and take it on outings and today you want me to kill it off, how fickle. lol:
So, which did you do...? Shrugs:
I have been trying to teach it to play cricket. whistle:
Batting or bowling...?
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As if a slug would be able to bowl, you're just being silly now.
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As if a slug would be able to bowl, you're just being silly now.
redface:
I've gone too far... I can see that now...
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Quite so.
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Quite so.
redface:
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I should think so too.
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I should think so too.
Perhaps a simpler sport... like tiddlywinks? Shrugs:
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
Macro?
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That's the local cash and carry, you are completely off your trolly...
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That's the local cash and carry, you are completely off your trolly...
I'm sure you'd need a trolley in Makro... ;D
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
I have a sack of turnips to go back to Cyprus when you have finished the orthopod activities.
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You have? How strange.
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You have? How strange.
Strange in what way exactly?
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I didn't know that they grow turnips in Cyprus. Why are you importing them? Why do they need to go back are they the wrong size/colour?
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I didn't know that they grow turnips in Cyprus. Why are you importing them? Why do they need to go back are they the wrong size/colour?
Have you had a blow to the head recently?
(Not Kleenex and Swine Flu I hope)
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
I have a sack of turnips to go back to Cyprus when you have finished the orthopod activities.
If they have to go back to Cyprus the implication is that they came from Cyprus. If having arrived here they need to be sent back surely there must be something wrong with them. Shrugs:
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
I have a sack of turnips to go back to Cyprus when you have finished the orthopod activities.
If they have to go back to Cyprus the implication is that they came from Cyprus. If having arrived here they need to be sent back surely there must be something wrong with them. Shrugs:
No refunds! eveilgrin:
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
I have a sack of turnips to go back to Cyprus when you have finished the orthopod activities.
If they have to go back to Cyprus the implication is that they came from Cyprus. If having arrived here they need to be sent back surely there must be something wrong with them. Shrugs:
No refunds! eveilgrin:
noooo: Have you seen DS when he's hacked off?
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Can I borrow yours then as you're not using it?
If you'll pay the postage... whistle:
I have a sack of turnips to go back to Cyprus when you have finished the orthopod activities.
If they have to go back to Cyprus the implication is that they came from Cyprus. If having arrived here they need to be sent back surely there must be something wrong with them. Shrugs:
No refunds! eveilgrin:
noooo: Have you seen DS when he's hacked off?
I recall he once gave a car a sound thrashing.
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With half a tree?
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I am the very epitome of self control and good manners. angel1
If someone needs a good shoeing, I sub-contract. evil:
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg11.imageshack.us%2Fimg11%2F5540%2F54802724.th.jpg&hash=556f76a16219c2b20e149263679fed281dba8545) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2noLS)
I really must get a life! redface:
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg11.imageshack.us%2Fimg11%2F5540%2F54802724.th.jpg&hash=556f76a16219c2b20e149263679fed281dba8545) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2noLS)
I really must get a life! redface:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.britsuperstore.com%2Facatalog%2FSaxa_Table_Salt_750g.jpg&hash=491a7201f4875ca5c41abe2fd140c60f23a81956)
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg11.imageshack.us%2Fimg11%2F5540%2F54802724.th.jpg&hash=556f76a16219c2b20e149263679fed281dba8545) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2noLS)
I really must get a life! redface:
happy001
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg11.imageshack.us%2Fimg11%2F5540%2F54802724.th.jpg&hash=556f76a16219c2b20e149263679fed281dba8545) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2noLS)
I really must get a life! redface:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.britsuperstore.com%2Facatalog%2FSaxa_Table_Salt_750g.jpg&hash=491a7201f4875ca5c41abe2fd140c60f23a81956)
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The threat is over for now....oink
The all new 'satisfying Activities' thread.
? on: July 21, 2009, 05:19:41 PM ?
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I have just been in the garden sprinkling salt on slugs.
Report to moderator
Do pay attention at the back there! ::)
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That would prolly work. I will take pictures if I succeed.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg11.imageshack.us%2Fimg11%2F5540%2F54802724.th.jpg&hash=556f76a16219c2b20e149263679fed281dba8545) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2noLS)
I really must get a life! redface:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.britsuperstore.com%2Facatalog%2FSaxa_Table_Salt_750g.jpg&hash=491a7201f4875ca5c41abe2fd140c60f23a81956)
Hero Member
Karma: 26
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Posts: 2334
The threat is over for now....oink
The all new 'satisfying Activities' thread.
« on: July 21, 2009, 05:19:41 PM »
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I have just been in the garden sprinkling salt on slugs.
Report to moderator
Do pay attention at the back there! ::)
Do what now...? Shrugs:
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
But I expect that from you. point:
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
But I expect that from you. point:
Implication that I do pay attention?
I think not. noooo:
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
But I expect that from you. point:
evil:
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
But I expect that from you. point:
Implication that I do pay attention?
I think not. noooo:
And I thought that you waited avidly for my every pearl of wisdom. cloud9:
Yes I know... you are still waiting for the first one. ::)
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Darwin wasn't paying attention.
Nor me... noooo:
But I expect that from you. point:
Implication that I do pay attention?
I think not. noooo:
And I thought that you waited avidly for my every pearl of wisdom. cloud9:
Yes I know... you are still waiting for the first one. ::)
I do, and I am sure it would seem fresh and new to me every time I read it.
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Washing things with my new jetwasher cloud9:
I am running out of things to jetwash sad24:
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You could offer to do the neighbours like whistle:
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I could give the svelte redhead a bit of a hosing rubschin:
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Have you sprayed the cat(s) with it yet eveilgrin:
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Only during mating activities eveilgrin:
Jim is not fond of water
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Passing strangers would be good for a laugh. angel1