The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Computer Room => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on July 07, 2009, 11:51:47 AM
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The talk of killing sprees has been inspired today by dealings with our IT dept cussing:
Why oh why oh why oh why do they have to make everything so fecking complicated?.. Banghead
We have had 6 new starters join this week. They therefore need laptops so that they can hotdesk . Each desk has a docking station so they can just put it on and it will all be connected to the keyboard, monitor, printer etc. Usual practice I'm sure.
So the 6 new laptops arrive this morning ? except they are a lot smaller and therefore do not fit the docking stations. Shrugs:
You do not have a choice when ordering a laptop as they are all standard apparently noooo:
So I.T. man comes down from his protected , oxygenated penthouse in the sky and assesses the problem.
These laptops are smaller he says. Some of the connections and the power cable is different he says. ::) ::) ::)
Feckin genius I think and instantly fall in love with him for that eveilgrin:
So is there any chance of any smaller docking stations I ask ? so that at least we can install those on a couple of desks and there will be a choice.
?No love? he says ? we don?t provide docking stations any more. There was always a problem with incompatibility. censored:
So does that mean that every time a person comes into the office they have to disconnect all the cables from the old docking station, connect what they can from this and then plug in all their other attachments , having to lift up the desk to reach the hidden power cables and then put everything back together again ?
?Yes love? he says
Explode:
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He is a grade A arsehole... Period.
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He is TRM and I claim my fiver in used notes. lol:
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There is no grease under his fingernails rubschin:
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He is TRM and I claim my fiver in used notes. lol:
Who be he?
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In the good old days ~ before Bill Gates ~ I used get into the office and my post would be delivered by a lovely from reception. I would open and read it, consider that which needed an immediate reply and that which could wait. I would make a couple of phone calls by dialling 9 for an outside line and if none was free the switchboard would get the number I wanted for me and call me when they achieved a connection. This would deal with the "urgent" replies with a following letter in confirmarion of the telephone call. To send a letter I would press the switch on the intercom that connected my office to the outer office and ask if one of the secretaries was free. A lovely in a short skirt would trip into my office, take a seat where I had a good view of her legs/thighs (depending on time of year and length of skirt), and take down my replies to the letters in shorthand. She would then depart, to return some hours later with the letters, neatly typed in duplicate, for my signature. She would then ensure that the correct postage was put on each letter according to my instructions (1st or 2nd class, Recorded delivery etc) and an office boy would leg it to the nearest post office before the last collection at 6.30pm. The lovely would file the duplicate with the original enquiry and no matter if I was absent on leave, sick or just down the pub anyone who needed to could seek and find the query and reply.
Suddenly it all changed and we got PCs on our desks, lost the secretarial support and the office boy. Post still arrived but was tossed through the door by some numpty of a security guard, usually the bundle would contain other people's post as well and half an hour would be spent whilst we all resorted the letters between ourselves. Replies had to be typed by the recipents but the printer was at the end of the corridor and everyone was connected to it. You had no idea when it had run out of paper or when your mail would reach the end of the queue and get printed. Instructions pencilled on envelopes were routinely ignored by the new "post room" ~ same security numpty in there as threw your letters at you in the mornings. Post would be collected from each floor by said numpty at about 3pm so anything not yet ready to go waited until the following day.
Filing cabinets in which copies used to be kept were disposed of only to be replaced six months later when it was realised that unless a paper copy was retained all record was lost. BUT now we each had to have a filing cabinet because we had to keep our own files and we all kept them locked to ensure no-one accessed the bottom drawer where the drinks were kept.
Then came EMAIL ~ and more filing cabinets, more printing and a person to take charge of the printer as it was forever running out of paper. This was swiftly followed by a deluge of early morning messages from a variety of people asking if you has received their email as they had not yet received your reply. These calls always commenced the moment you walked into the office and before you had even turned your screen on.
Finally there came the day, when at a sales management meeting, we pointed out to our MD that we were losing business because we were now so tied to the office dealing with mail (e and other) that we had little time left for doing the basics of selling ie getting in front of the buyers. This point was made so strongly (well there were 6 sales managers in the room ~ he didn't stand a chance by the time we had each produced the graphs of our own working week + those of our salesmen of which we each had about dozen showing the unproductive time etc. The poor man must have thought Power Point had been invented to destroy his mind) that he authorised the employment of secretaries for us all and life returned to normality. cloud9:
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He is TRM and I claim my fiver in used notes. lol:
Who be he?
Your cousin The Right Moaner
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I should probably comment on this thread, but I shall refrain.
Made me laugh.
Tis reality come home to roost.
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It gets worse..... the keyboards they have provided with these laptops have no backslash button. I checked and double checked and even got someone else to check.
When IT bod came back this afternoon I didn't say anything but asked if he would configure the laptop to the networked printers etc then stood back. Watched him get as far as I did earlier and then the fatal next step which requires - guess what a backslash button whistle:
he then did this confused2:
followed by this whacky115
followed by me doing this angry041:
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So pleased we have brightened your day tel. ;)
You see the one thing all those who advocated the "paperless" office and the use of lap-tops, emails, blackberrys (ies?) etc forgot was that previously girls (and some boys) who wished to be secretaries had been trained to type and could go, with all fingers flying, at a rate of 80 words per minute, with few errors and good shorthand note takers could be reckoned on reaching about 60 words per minute. Your average secretary or girl from the typing pool was capable of achieving 50 wpm shorthand and 65/70 wpm typing. I use two (sometimes three) fingers to type and achieve about 25wpm but it is full of errors which then have to be corrected. I cannot touch type of course. Also the secretary would correct, as she went, any gramatical errors etc and the signatory would give the letter a final proof read. The secretary could also deal with letters, dictated into a dictaphone, that you recorded whilst en route to the office for her to transcribe whilst you got on with other tasks. All these skills and attendant double checking is lost when you take modern educated people and tell them to produce their own letters and NO-ONE checks them before they are sent. Just a few more reasons why newer is not always better and a pointer as to why we all receive so many poorly written letters from various businesses, councils, etc these days.
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I can't see why you need a "backslash".
Printers are connected at logon or by selection if allowed by the administrator.
Someone ain't doing their job properly or efficiently.
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So her tecchies are nincompoops then! happy088
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As they are not her personal ones, she won't be offended when I agree with that assessment.
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You cannot connect new laptops to the networked printers etc at logon I'm afraid , if only life was that simple noooo:- they have to be set up by tekky man ( nincompoop that he is ) - and I'm afraid the backslash would appear to be essential in this process.
However they have now gone away to come up with a workaround ...to be continued tomorrow angry041: angry041: angry041:
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As they are not her personal ones, she won't be offended when I agree with that assessment.
Please feel free to call him whatever you want - I would be interested to see if you came up with names I haven't used yet lol:
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So pleased we have brightened your day tel. ;)
You see the one thing all those who advocated the "paperless" office and the use of lap-tops, emails, blackberrys (ies?) etc forgot was that previously girls (and some boys) who wished to be secretaries had been trained to type and could go, with all fingers flying, at a rate of 80 words per minute, with few errors and good shorthand note takers could be reckoned on reaching about 60 words per minute. Your average secretary or girl from the typing pool was capable of achieving 50 wpm shorthand and 65/70 wpm typing. I use two (sometimes three) fingers to type and achieve about 25wpm but it is full of errors which then have to be corrected. I cannot touch type of course. Also the secretary would correct, as she went, any gramatical errors etc and the signatory would give the letter a final proof read. The secretary could also deal with letters, dictated into a dictaphone, that you recorded whilst en route to the office for her to transcribe whilst you got on with other tasks. All these skills and attendant double checking is lost when you take modern educated people and tell them to produce their own letters and NO-ONE checks them before they are sent. Just a few more reasons why newer is not always better and a pointer as to why we all receive so many poorly written letters from various businesses, councils, etc these days.
I typed my own letters when I first joined my old company. No-one checked them. The problems arose because the customers didn't understand some of the words I used. Please don't tarnish all is "modern educated people" with the same brush. And I do about 45wpm.
And I can spell "grammatical" etc. ;)
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Yes I am sure you can but "Modern Educated" refers to the likes of my Daughter who can barely spell her own name and is rated an A* GCSE student.
You, as I recall, left school a long time before she was born.
Me? I too went to Grammar school but am capable of typos because I am not a f*cking trained typist ~ I was a manager. There is a difference in the job specification. You are merely confirming my point ~ every man to his last. My secretary typed the letters ~ I did the selling and the management of the department. She was paid ?18k, I was paid ?45k. Tells me all I need to know.
don't tarnish all is "modern educated people" with the same brush
BTW Why is you talking with a West Indian accent. point: Typo perhaps?
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noooo: noooo: noooo:
Has it really come down to my typo's are bigger than yours whistle:
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Yes I am sure you can but "Modern Educated" refers to the likes of my Daughter who can barely spell her own name and is rated an A* GCSE student.
You, as I recall, left school a long time before she was born.
Me? I too went to Grammar school but am capable of typos because I am not a f*cking trained typist ~ I was a manager. There is a difference in the job specification. You are merely confirming my point ~ every man to his last. My secretary typed the letters ~ I did the selling and the management of the department. She was paid ?18k, I was paid ?45k. Tells me all I need to know.
don't tarnish all is "modern educated people" with the same brush
BTW Why is you talking with a West Indian accent. point: Typo perhaps?
Bottoms redface:
So the combined total salary was ?63k. I can't help thinking most businesses took the line of "sod that, they can type their own, we'll save a packet and live with the odd typo". And it wouldn't take much cerebration to consider sending people on typing courses. Time could be saved too - by the time you've dictated your missive, along with all the "erms.." and lengthy pauses, the secretary has painted her nails, scratched her fanny and typed it, it could easily already be winging its way to its destination via our wonderful red-band dropping Post Office.
Prolly. whistle:
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I imagine ?63 K was quite handsome in 1922 whistle:
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I imagine ?63 K was quite handsome in 1922 whistle:
When Snoopy was young, weren't they still using Groats? whistle:
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I imagine ?63 K was quite handsome in 1922 whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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You cannot connect new laptops to the networked printers etc at logon I'm afraid , if only life was that simple noooo:- they have to be set up by tekky man ( nincompoop that he is ) - and I'm afraid the backslash would appear to be essential in this process.
However they have now gone away to come up with a workaround ...to be continued tomorrow angry041: angry041: angry041:
Basically, in a "proper" networked environment, users access and accessibility would be centrally controlled - ie shares on servers, email, internet access, printers etc., would be allocated by their logon. This makes life simpler for the administrator and the user. It is also more secure and safer.
Your "techies" would appear to be a bunch of amateurs. They are also slow and very un-professional, even by my standards.
Twould seem that they should be shown the door.
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We have "roving profiles" so wherever I login I get all my files, access to printers etc.
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Uncle Mort's life takes on a whole new aspect
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siQtzrI5w88 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siQtzrI5w88)
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We have "roving profiles" so wherever I login I get all my files, access to printers etc.
The term is roaming", so less of the wild.
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redface:
I.T. guys tend to mumble. whistle:
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We have "roving profiles" so wherever I login I get all my files, access to printers etc.
The term is roaming", so less of the wild.
Except after 'lunch' whistle:
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Roaming profiles can also be a pain in the arse, if not set-up properly. It's great fun when your Outlook .pst file decides to bung itself on the hard drive of a PC you may be temporarily using.
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Oh yes.
Amazing how pissed off, people get when they try to logon and it takes forever.
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He has not turned up yet.....I have made a formal complaint....I will get a standard response saying you will receive a reply to your enquiry in 24 hrs.
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Oh yes.
Amazing how pissed off, people get when they try to logon and it takes forever.
Been there. cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Can we designate Friday to be VP problem free day cloud9: - a sanctuary away from I.T cock up's, children , staff problems, partner problems and animal related incidents rubschin:
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We can but why do I get a feeling doing that is just asking for trouble? rubschin:
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Wot he said
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We will make it so cloud9:
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happy001
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Oh yes.
Amazing how pissed off, people get when they try to logon and it takes forever.
Like this place you mean?
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Wot happened?
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Have you been having sleepness nights Tel or preparing your buy out spec for the contract lol: - wish you would whistle:
The solution is there is no solution - apparently we are all to get new laptops soon ( obviously no date given ) with integrated webcams and such like eeek: eeek: eeek: - feckin hate webcams and if they expect these to be on when working from home they can go to hell. The whole point of working from home is that you don't have to get dressed evil: evil: evil:
So the suggestion has been as an interim arrangement ( which will prolly be 6- 12 months) those with the new laptops have to disconnect all the cables from the old docking stations and manually connect everything up every morning.
I got a response to my formal complaint that said yes ,we uphold your complaint and this is totelly unsatisfactory - however we cannot do anything until the contract with the supplier has been changed Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Anyway is it going to be a problem free day?
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happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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Anyway is it going to be a problem free day?
I am not going to get get stressed today and will rise above any 'challenges' - I will have a problem free day . I will whistle:
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Whoever agreed the contracts and SLAs needs shooting - the paymaster is supposed to have the upper hand whatever the industry sector - the paymaster is also accountable for their actions and should be punished (particularly where public money is involved).
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feckin hate webcams and if they expect these to be on when working from home they can go to hell. The whole point of working from home is that you don't have to get dressed evil: evil: evil:
Simple solution there Miss D, check your Cyprus holiday pics and mount one in front of the webcam that just shows BM in a pair of speedos. Give it a week or so & you can wear what you want again as nobody would dare view the feed whistle: