The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 08:56:50 AM

Title: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 08:56:50 AM: cussing:

He has taken to wandering about at night again. The attraction now seems to be the large box of Cadbury's Roses left by my sister. He ate the lot in the small hours evil: No wonder he didn't fancy any breakfast evil:

Irked, no doubt, by being discovered, I now find (after a flurry of irate e mails) that he has set both house phone and mobile to Silent.

I cannot figure out how to make them ring again Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

I have been looking for the manuals noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: barmisspah? on June 25, 2009, 09:02:52 AM: The Boys' a genius !!! lol:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Bar Wench on June 25, 2009, 09:05:09 AM: I love a good boy story!
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 25, 2009, 09:07:07 AM: Quote from: Nick on June 25, 2009, 08:56:50 AM

I cannot figure out how to make them ring again Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

I have been looking for the manuals noooo:

Just ask him when he returns home from school shortly after puking up everywhere in class whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 09:15:20 AM: Quote from: barmisspah? on June 25, 2009, 09:02:52 AM
The Boys' a genius !!! lol:
evil:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: barmisspah? on June 25, 2009, 09:31:26 AM: Quote from: Nick on June 25, 2009, 09:15:20 AM
Quote from: barmisspah? on June 25, 2009, 09:02:52 AM
The Boy's a genius !!! lol:
evil:

Well you need the manual to change them back he obviously didn't, unless he's hidden them, either way I repeat the boy's a genius point:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Snoopy on June 25, 2009, 11:58:35 AM: There should be a switch under the phone (usually to one side) marked "Ringer" or "Ring Tone" (at least there are on all the phones in this house)
Locate said switch and move it to the other position.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 11:59:49 AM: No they are more complicated than that. Anyhoo all fixed now evil:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 25, 2009, 12:00:23 PM: Nick, are you sure you just haven't gone deaf in your old age? whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2009, 12:00:37 PM: Pardon?
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 27, 2009, 08:33:16 PM: I see either a Prime Minister or Bondesque super villain in the making here. lol:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 11:56:44 AM: A late birthday card arrives. It contains a ?10 note.

The Boy (still off school for biting Sam) slips out and, in Gordon Brown's word, 'invests' it in sweets and ice cream Angry9: All of it! eeek:

They had to give him a carrier bag Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 03, 2009, 12:10:43 PM: Well he can't have eaten them all. Put the rest where he can't get at them.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 12:28:43 PM: I have. But he is very cunning when it comes to chocolate
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Snoopy on July 03, 2009, 12:33:37 PM: Then why did you not do what other parents do and take the tenner off him the minute he opened the card and put it in a bank account for him?

Contact the sender and INSIST in future cheques only. We did that many years ago and all three now have a nice little nest egg which they can get at when they are 18. Until then only we can access the money.

Giving children money as presents is pure laziness anyway and something that I never do but I accept that others will and have devised a method of dealing with it.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 03, 2009, 12:35:00 PM: He opened the card and pocketed the tenner before I saw it. The truth came out under ~~torture~~ interrogation
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 05:23:10 PM: Oh dear.

The Other Boy's parents, irate about incident at skool have called in the Plod. Nice WPC just been round to talk to The Boy scared2:

He is out.

She is coming back
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 04, 2009, 05:24:53 PM: I'm sure your appearance would have helped alleviate the situation scared2:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Pastis on July 04, 2009, 05:26:45 PM: Sorry, but ...

happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 05:27:50 PM: I told Mrs Nick that this might happen, but would she listen?
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 05:28:18 PM: Quote from: Miss Demeanor on July 04, 2009, 05:24:53 PM
I'm sure your appearance would have helped alleviate the situation scared2:

Quite. She did seem to notice my scar ::)
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 04, 2009, 05:31:01 PM: So did you tell the WPC the other lad was fortunate as that is what the Boy does when he's really angry?
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Pastis on July 04, 2009, 05:33:13 PM: Nick takes a virtuous and unbiassed position:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg10.imageshack.us%2Fimg10%2F2742%2F88290904.th.jpg&hash=7ee77c3bec57ebb1771cdbe43cee78745f0272cd) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVaE79A)
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 05:35:50 PM: Quote from: Uncle Mort on July 04, 2009, 05:31:01 PM
So did you tell the WPC the other lad was fortunate as that is what the Boy does when he's really angry?

I clarified matters for her. As has the Head of the school
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 04, 2009, 05:38:30 PM: I apologise for my levity.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 05:39:57 PM: No need
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 04, 2009, 05:46:29 PM: I really don't know how you and Mrs Nick cope.

You have my admiration.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 04, 2009, 06:14:54 PM: We nearly keeeell each other eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Barman on July 05, 2009, 04:54:31 AM: What a sad state of affairs this is - getting plod involved when two boys fight at school...? noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2009, 09:15:42 AM: Quite. noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 06, 2009, 03:56:59 PM: He has just passed Grade 3 piano. happy088

Now we face the Police noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2009, 04:02:57 PM: Well done The Boy! happ096

Get him to play something for the filth when they arrive! ;)
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 06, 2009, 04:03:12 PM: (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg44.imageshack.us%2Fimg44%2F2631%2F85507607.jpg&hash=b822c6b2033b0b57194dfc66205254890bee8eb9) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Snoopy on July 06, 2009, 04:03:56 PM: He played it for them ~ now he can play it for her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vThuwa5RZU
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: barmisspah? on July 07, 2009, 09:37:51 AM: Quote from: Nick on July 06, 2009, 03:56:59 PM
He has just passed Grade 3 piano. happy088

Now we face the Police noooo:

Oh come on, his playing can't be that bad ! lol:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 07, 2009, 10:10:17 AM: Could be his musical inspiration whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 07, 2009, 10:16:00 AM: I am NOT in a good mood evil:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2009, 10:21:22 AM: Quote from: Nick on July 07, 2009, 10:16:00 AM
I am NOT in a good mood evil:
Popcorn:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 07, 2009, 10:23:21 AM: evil:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2009, 10:27:57 AM: Quote from: Nick on July 07, 2009, 10:23:21 AM
evil:
Well...? Popcorn:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 09, 2009, 04:55:13 PM: I return to new joy. Banghead

Police deal with assault charge and, as a matter of routine, are required to report incident to Social Services. Social Werker calls and asks if she can offer any 'support' . Toy with the idea of telling her to fook off, but instead describe:

Special Needs Statement
Psychotherapy
Drugs
Child Psychiatrist
Personal mentor
Ed Psychologist
Behavioural Psychologist
Post Adoption Support 'Werker'
Special Needs Co-ordinator....

And ask politely what else she has in mind. 'I don't know but we need to come round and see you tomorrow at 11.00'

Interfering fooking busybodies
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Pastis on July 09, 2009, 04:58:18 PM: Welcome home! happy100

At least Brum didn't cause a problem?
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 09, 2009, 05:08:27 PM: Quote from: Nick on July 09, 2009, 04:55:13 PM
I return to new joy. Banghead

Police deal with assault charge and, as a matter of routine, are required to report incident to Social Services. Social Werker calls and asks if she can offer any 'support' . Toy with the idea of telling her to fook off, but instead describe:

Special Needs Statement
Psychotherapy
Drugs
Child Psychiatrist
Personal mentor
Ed Psychologist
Behavioural Psychologist
Post Adoption Support 'Werker'
Special Needs Co-ordinator....

And ask politely what else she has in mind. 'I don't know but we need to come round and see you tomorrow at 11.00'

Interfering fooking busybodies

Unfortunately after the Baby P scandal social workers are paranoid that they may miss something.
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 09, 2009, 05:18:52 PM: Like they miss two small boys scrapping about a football cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 09, 2009, 05:25:59 PM: But you will be the one with visible injuries scared2:

That should completely confuse them whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 10, 2009, 09:15:47 AM: They have just called and cancelled happy088
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 10, 2009, 09:16:23 AM: It's Friday - they are prolly very very busy noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 10, 2009, 09:17:26 AM: Of course, of course
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Snoopy on July 10, 2009, 09:44:21 AM: Quote from: Nick on July 10, 2009, 09:15:47 AM
They have just called and cancelled happy088

So they called at least one person on your list and got told to back off as it is outside their area of competence. whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy: I keeeel him
Post by: Nick on July 31, 2009, 10:10:58 AM: I lose track of how many times I have told him NOT TO PLAY TENNIS against the side of the house. So many windows evil:. Big windows. eeek:

Will he listen? noooo:

The glazier will be here in a couple of hours evil: