The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on May 30, 2009, 02:03:22 PM

Title: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2009, 02:03:22 PM: Hot day.

Open windows and doors for breeze.

Effing flies come in. Swat, buzz, spray, buzz.

Bastards evil:

ANd why is my ceiling so fooking interesting, eh. eh? Bastards
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Snoopy on May 30, 2009, 03:03:57 PM: Flies spread unwanted diseases ~ keep yours buttoned up. whistle:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 30, 2009, 04:14:14 PM: eeek:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Pastis on May 30, 2009, 04:59:07 PM: >>>> village shop.. vapona >>> home >>> ceiling>>> flies >>> dead happy088
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Snoopy on May 30, 2009, 04:59:30 PM: First seen on the bog wall at my junior school around 1955

I didn't understand it but happily repeated it to a hushed family Sunday lunch redface:

Mother was not amused.
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Snoopy on May 30, 2009, 05:00:43 PM: A rolled newspaper is not just for beagles 8)
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Pastis on May 30, 2009, 05:05:16 PM: These can be fun, allegedly, and Wimbledon is soon to be upon us whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1bL4aS.jpg&hash=331f1e59a517d0d8d9e86c333e681763dcce0ab0) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 30, 2009, 05:56:43 PM: Many years ago I lived on a farm, they had a small dairy and used to have these hanging in there. They still make me shudder. scared2:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVTrXsi.jpg&hash=427818a40feded58f44a082a08e5e693f06b52aa) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Pastis on May 30, 2009, 06:02:00 PM: They look remarkably well preserved MissC. You haven't been at the Photoshop, have you? ;)
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2009, 07:15:45 AM: Our dog is Flymaster General! eveilgrin: He hates them and chases them all around the house...

Also, we have one of those zapper things with the UV light in the kitchen... the sound of flies getting 100,000 volts is most pleasing... eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 31, 2009, 08:54:23 AM: You'd think you wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to swat the buggers with the amount of time they spend banging into windows - don't flies suffer concussion rubschin:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 31, 2009, 09:43:13 AM: Quote from: Pastis on May 30, 2009, 06:02:00 PM
They look remarkably well preserved MissC. You haven't been at the Photoshop, have you? ;)

Nooo noooo: It came like that from Google.

My brother in law hoovers flies up by swinging the vacuum hose around his head at speed.

Note to Nick...check under the boys bead there may be something decomposing, hence the flies. scared2:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 31, 2009, 10:01:50 AM: bead? oh, bed. No, I do not go into his room noooo:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 31, 2009, 10:05:11 AM: Quote from: Miss Creant on May 31, 2009, 09:43:13 AM
My brother in law hoovers flies up by swinging the vacuum hose around his head at speed.

Is that not likely to cause an awful lot of damage scared2:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Snoopy on May 31, 2009, 10:16:43 AM: My father always used to say that flies are attracted to two things: Manure and Roses ~ which are you? eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 31, 2009, 10:18:07 AM: I fall more into the manure camp noooo:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2009, 10:18:29 AM: Quote from: Nick on May 31, 2009, 10:18:07 AM
I fall more into the manure camp noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 01:45:16 PM: What is it that compels flies to circle central light fittings? rubschin:

Goes out to buy death spray eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: apc2010 on May 18, 2014, 01:47:02 PM: Quote from: Nick (I am me again officially) on May 18, 2014, 01:45:16 PM
What is it that compels flies to circle central light fittings? rubschin:

Goes out to buy death spray eveilgrin:

Flame thrower.... scared2:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 18, 2014, 01:54:29 PM: Get one of those electrified tennis racquets. About a fiver and great fun.
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: apc2010 on May 18, 2014, 01:59:18 PM: Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 18, 2014, 01:54:29 PM
Get one of those electrified tennis racquets. About a fiver and great fun.

Thumbs: wot could go wrong...
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 01:59:45 PM: Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 18, 2014, 01:54:29 PM
Get one of those electrified tennis racquets. About a fiver and great fun.
rubschin: rubschin:

Details?
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 18, 2014, 02:05:37 PM: Quote from: Nick (I am me again officially) on May 18, 2014, 01:59:45 PM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 18, 2014, 01:54:29 PM
Get one of those electrified tennis racquets. About a fiver and great fun.
rubschin: rubschin:

Details?

http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/electronic-fly-swatter-l91aw
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Barman on May 18, 2014, 02:05:48 PM: Quote from: Nick (I am me again officially) on May 18, 2014, 01:59:45 PM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 18, 2014, 01:54:29 PM
Get one of those electrified tennis racquets. About a fiver and great fun.
rubschin: rubschin:

Details?

Here... (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Electronic-Electric-Insect-Bug-Fly-Bee-Wasp-Swatter-Zapper-Killer-Bat-/170922456629?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Garden_Plants_Weed_Pest_Control_CV&hash=item27cbc5b635) whistle:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 02:08:15 PM: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 18, 2014, 02:08:29 PM: http://youtu.be/BKmateFolQ7jw (http://youtu.be/BKmateFolQ7jw)
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Nick on May 18, 2014, 02:09:48 PM: whatimage: whatimage:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Steve on May 18, 2014, 07:47:49 PM: Quote from: Nick (I am me again officially) on May 18, 2014, 01:45:16 PM
What is it that compels flies to circle central light fittings? rubschin:
. . .
You placing Mr Stew underneath them?
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Just One More on May 19, 2014, 06:14:09 AM: It should be in "Top Tips" really...

Given the beautiful sunny and warm weather kitchens can be prone to attracting flies. To combat this, simply place a bucket of shit in your front room
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Barman on May 19, 2014, 06:22:26 AM: Quote from: Just One More on May 19, 2014, 06:14:09 AM
It should be in "Top Tips" really...

Given the beautiful sunny and warm weather kitchens can be prone to attracting flies. To combat this, simply place a bucket of shit in your front room

happy001
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Baldy on May 19, 2014, 06:24:23 AM: Quote from: Just One More on May 19, 2014, 06:14:09 AM
It should be in "Top Tips" really...

Given the beautiful sunny and warm weather kitchens can be prone to attracting flies. To combat this, simply place a bucket of shit in your front room

lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Steve on May 19, 2014, 10:28:02 AM: Quote from: Baldy on May 19, 2014, 06:24:23 AM
Quote from: Just One More on May 19, 2014, 06:14:09 AM
It should be in "Top Tips" really...

Given the beautiful sunny and warm weather kitchens can be prone to attracting flies. To combat this, simply place a bucket of shit in your front room

lol: lol: lol:
happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Flies
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 19, 2014, 11:52:23 AM: Quote from: Steve on May 19, 2014, 10:28:02 AM
Quote from: Baldy on May 19, 2014, 06:24:23 AM
Quote from: Just One More on May 19, 2014, 06:14:09 AM
It should be in "Top Tips" really...

Given the beautiful sunny and warm weather kitchens can be prone to attracting flies. To combat this, simply place a bucket of shit in your front room

lol: lol: lol:
happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001

See also "It keeps the flies off the melon" Lenny Bruce - circa 1960