The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on May 26, 2009, 07:34:37 AM
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So I returned home late last night and had just been sorting everything out when I hear a god almighty noise out the back about 10 o clock.
I live on an end of terrace ( 4 houses in front , 3 behind) and there is a walkway down the side of my house to access the properties behind. I looked out of my patio windows to see 2 hoooooooge guys shouting and swearing at the house behind me. This is where the polish builders live. No one was answering their door so they started to get really angry.
This is when the feckin bastards decided they were going to adopt a more hands on approach and turned round and started to kick my garden fence in eeek:
The red mist descended and without thinking I went out there to politely ask them to refrain from destroying my property cussing: . Not my smartest move noooo: . These 2 Humungous Eastern European blokes then started throwing wooden spears in my direction scared2:
So I went back inside and locked the door and called the police. By this time The Brat was crying and all the other neighbours were peering out from their windows ( except of course the Polish builders house )
The two blokes were obviously high as a kite on something and not very open to a reasoned debate Shrugs: - so whilst they literally continued to tear apart the whole of my fence and throw it at the polish builders house I could do nothing.
They left about 10 minutes later and the police arrived after 20 minutes noooo:
I have had a call this morning from the police and they believe they have arrested one of them Shrugs:....meanwhile back in the land of reality my garden looks like a tornado has hit it ..... angry041:
I have to go and make a statement today but lets face it WTF is going to happen - sweet FA noooo:
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad............and fenceless cry:
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Insurance claim?
And time to move up that plan to ................. errrrr ............... move house.
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Insurance claim for sure. Take your axe to the garden a bit and claim for damage to garden on insurance too. A hunky man will arrive in tight shorts and a vest and will labour away doing a TV style makeover while you watch quietly through your binoculars.
Top Tips! happy088
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Ensure you get a Crime Report Number from the Police ~ your insurance company will want it.
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Nick ~ are you sure that defrauding the insurance company can be counted as a 'top tip' rubschin:
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Well her fence has gone and her garden 'looks like a tornado has hit it'*. I think she should deffo get a man in!! I am sure her insurance will pay up
*and prolly always did.
ANd how do we know her fence was in perfect werking order, like?
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I was referring to 'Take your axe to the garden a bit...'
I have no problem with charging for getting man in.
Miss D, as Snoopy has said, it's time to move out. I had similar problems when I lived in Ponders End. My house had an alleyway running up the side and rear of the garden. Often noise and altercations late at night. And the fence got set on fire one evening. The Fire Brigade were a damn sight quicker than the police.
We moved out when the children were born as we didn't fancy raising them in that neighbourhood.
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We had the same problem when we lived in Wimbeldon. I can agree that the fire brigade are far quicker!
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shutup:
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I had to go to Ponders End once. I thought it was a medical condition.
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You're thinking of the Balls Pond Road ~ very nasty until they invented penicillin. ;D
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An unfortunate naming there, indeed. I pass a place regularly in SE1 that's no more than a passage, 5' wide and about 15 yds long with a street sign saying "Gibbon's Rents" ... It's nothing now other than the back walls of two buildings but the name conjures images of Dickensian poverty and deprivation. I need to research it at some point rubschin:
Apologies to MissD btw... sounds awful happy100
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This had me scurrying into the London Encyclopaedia - which fails to mention Gibbon's Rents eeek:
Anyhoo it commemorates some sort of property ownership, prolly 17th century
But we digress. I wonder how Miss D is getting along with her hunky new gardener. SHe ought to get some HobNobs in.
Popcorn:
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Pastis
If London fascinates you as it does me you could do worse than getting hold of a copy of "Do Not Pass Go" by Tim Moore.
Based on his life long addiction to Monopoly he researches the place names of the squares on the standard board by visiting them and telling their stories. He is both amusing and informative. Oh and he relates the history of the board game as well.
ISBN 0-099-43386-9
Or if you can't find it in your local library shout and you can borrow my copy.
Black Boy Lane (like the Black Boy public houses) so called in "honour" of Charles the Second who was known as The Black Boy because of his swarthy complexion ~ I have no idea where I picked up that gem but it amuses me to relate it.
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Peter Ackroyd is yer man, though Sinclair's Lights out for the Territory is a good, if sometimes difficult, read.
Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
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This had me scurrying into the London Encyclopaedia - which fails to mention Gibbon's Rents eeek:
Anyhoo it commemorates some sort of property ownership, prolly 17th century
But we digress. I wonder how Miss D is getting along with her hunky new gardener. SHe ought to get some HobNobs in.
Popcorn:
http://www.london-se1.co.uk/forum/read/1/85261 whistle:
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Aha.... scared2:
http://www.oldbaileyonline.org.uk/browse.jsp?id=t18470614-1425&div=t18470614-1425#highlight
ANTHONY JPWLING . I am a Carmen in the employment of Mr. Thomas Hawley, and live in Gibbon's-rents, Tooley-street. On the 6th of May I had a wagon laden with twelve barrels of sugar—I had received it at the East India Docks, and was going up Ratcliff-cross—a man met me and told me about my mate being in trouble, (I was aware that a fellow-servant of mine was coming up the Commercial-road with a cart)—I was indiscreet enough to leave my wagon, and go to the King's arms—I did not find my fellow-servant there—I came back, and my wagon was gone—I met the prisoner in an empty van near where u had left my wagon—I asked him if he had seen the wagon—he said he thought he had, up the Commercial-road—I went, and found the wagon in a street—eight barrels only were left in it out of the twelve—I afterwards noticed the prisoner, in the same van I had seen him in before, driving in a direction from the wagon—he had four barrels of sugar in the van—I called out to him, he began to roll the barrels out of van into the street, jumped out of the van, ran away, and was taken by the policeman—it was about five o'clock when I left my wagon and horses at Ratcliff-cross...
Skullduggery if ever there was... rubschin: 14th June 1847
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Anyhoo, this is not buttering Miss D's fence!!
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Aha.... scared2:
http://www.oldbaileyonline.org.uk/browse.jsp?id=t18470614-1425&div=t18470614-1425#highlight
ANTHONY JPWLING . I am a Carmen in the employment of Mr. Thomas Hawley, and live in Gibbon's-rents, Tooley-street. On the 6th of May I had a wagon laden with twelve barrels of sugar—I had received it at the East India Docks, and was going up Ratcliff-cross—a man met me and told me about my mate being in trouble, (I was aware that a fellow-servant of mine was coming up the Commercial-road with a cart)—I was indiscreet enough to leave my wagon, and go to the King's arms—I did not find my fellow-servant there—I came back, and my wagon was gone—I met the prisoner in an empty van near where u had left my wagon—I asked him if he had seen the wagon—he said he thought he had, up the Commercial-road—I went, and found the wagon in a street—eight barrels only were left in it out of the twelve—I afterwards noticed the prisoner, in the same van I had seen him in before, driving in a direction from the wagon—he had four barrels of sugar in the van—I called out to him, he began to roll the barrels out of van into the street, jumped out of the van, ran away, and was taken by the policeman—it was about five o'clock when I left my wagon and horses at Ratcliff-cross...
Skullduggery if ever there was... rubschin: 14th June 1847
It is a mine of wonderful information that site. I spend hours there seeking ancestors silly enough to get caught.
The biggest rogue in my tree was a Highwayman but he appeared at Lewes Assizes and got Transportation for Life.
Another one I uncovered tried to murder his mother and sister with a hammer but was committed to Broadmoor.
Are you sure you want to meet up on Friday? whistle:
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Anyhoo, this is not buttering Miss D's fence!!
Nor her parsnips
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Anyhoo, this is not buttering Miss D's fence!!
Nor her parsnips
Nor her paws
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Anyhoo, this is not buttering Miss D's fence!!
Nor her parsnips
Nor her paws
I await Nick making the connection Popcorn:
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It is a mine of wonderful information that site. I spend hours there seeking ancestors silly enough to get caught.
The biggest rogue in my tree was a Highwayman but he appeared at Lewes Assizes and got Transportation for Life.
Another one I uncovered tried to murder his mother and sister with a hammer but was committed to Broadmoor.
Are you sure you want to meet up on Friday? whistle:
Coming from a long line, allegedly, of horse thieves, womanisers, gamblers, alcoholics and general ne'er do wells, I don't think we have a problem ;)
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I doubt she wants buttering at all
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I doubt she wants buttering at all
Buttressing would be more appropriate, the garden I mean.
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Of course, of course
scared:
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Uh-oh ~ She's here. Act innocent whistle:
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That was a quick visit eeek:
One double vodka and lime and she was there she was ~ gone.
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SHe is probably keeping an eye on Sven
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That'll be "Sven is he going to Finnish" will it?
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He's there late. I expect he'll have to come again tomorrow. To finish off, like
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Prolly ~ Fins ain't what they used to be.
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There's a Pole joke in here somewhere rubschin:
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The good news is there'll be less to climb over the next time she locks herself out... whistle:
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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scared:
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The red mist descended and without thinking I went out there to politely ask them to refrain from destroying my property cussing: . Not my smartest move noooo: . These 2 Humungous Eastern European blokes then started throwing wooden spears in my direction scared2:
If you'd have said nothing, they wouldn't of taken affence point:
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scared:
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I have had a day ....down the police station for two and a half hours ( waiting mainly evil: ) ..got home signed on briefly as you noticed 8) - then the head of the polish builders house came a calling.
He does not know who did this ( what utter b******s ) and was more interested in what the police know about the altercation than about an apology or offering to fix it. I simply said I couldn't divulge what I had been told by the police or confirm if they had arrested anyone. He was not happy. Bless him evil:
Meanwhile I have contacted the insurance company and before I can do anything I have to have an assessor around and then get 3 friggin quotes....no quick fix then evil:
Meanwhile absolutely anyone can wander in and press their nose up against my window whilst I'm watching TV scared2:
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By the way your p1ss taking of my situation has been noted - have your fun because revenge will be mine.
Not today of course - that would be too easy noooo: ...... but when the time is right - my memory is after all much better than yours eveilgrin:
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BM deserves a clout
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By the way your p1ss taking of my situation has been noted - have your fun because revenge will be mine.
Not today of course - that would be too easy noooo: ...... but when the time is right - my memory is after all much better than yours eveilgrin:
eeek:
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By the way your p1ss taking of my situation has been noted - have your fun because revenge will be mine.
Not today of course - that would be too easy noooo: ...... but when the time is right - my memory is after all much better than yours eveilgrin:
shocked003
Meanwhile absolutely anyone can wander in and press their nose up against my window whilst I'm watching TV
Had you thought about pulling the curtains?
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Indeed Snoops ......I am now living in darkness - well that's probably a bit dramatic but the curtains are closed when I leave the house so no one can wander up and have a look through the window at what they'd like to take scared2:
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freddy:
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That's scary sad32:
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Sorry, couldn't resist the temptation redface:
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£950 to repair fence eeek: eeek: eeek:
Of which I have to pay £150 ( Insurance excess charge) Banghead Banghead Banghead
Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
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£950 to repair fence eeek: eeek: eeek:
Of which I have to pay £150 ( Insurance excess charge) Banghead Banghead Banghead
Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
How bloody long is it then...?
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Only 5 feet. But it is nearly 200 feet high whistle:
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Only 5 feet. But it is nearly 200 feet high whistle:
Is that Pole proof then...? rubschin:
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Also got my letter from Victim Support today - how feckin ironic evil:
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£950 to repair fence eeek: eeek: eeek:
Of which I have to pay £150 ( Insurance excess charge) Banghead Banghead Banghead
Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
How bloody long is it then...?
It's tiny Shrugs:
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£950 to repair fence eeek: eeek: eeek:
Of which I have to pay £150 ( Insurance excess charge) Banghead Banghead Banghead
Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
How bloody long is it then...?
It's tiny Shrugs:
Define tiny.... whistle:
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Can just about swing the cat
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.zdnet.com%2Fblogs%2Fno_cat_swinging.png&hash=3efbdd221c3fc16c336e7fad8b7dcc02234d7b44)
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Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
I take it sunbathing in garden this summer not on then?
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Unless she sells tickets
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Can't do it for several weeks either as they are busy cussing: cussing: cussing:
I take it sunbathing in garden this summer not on then?
Not at all - I will not be defeated whistle:
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AAAAAAAAGgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Banghead Banghead Banghead
I have just returned home to find the police waiting for me scared2: - quick panic - I'm sure I paid for everything at the shops rubschin:
But no, feckin simple fence situation rumbles on. Apparently the guy they arrested has put his hands up said it was me and only me but that he did it in self defence ( how the hell that works I don't know noooo: ) and even though the witnesses at the time said there were two of them and they both destroyed the fence - anyhoo -I digress
So smiley police man said they have decided to issue a conditional discharge as wait for it - this is the good bit - the man wants to come round and fix the damage himself.
How do I feel about that I was asked censored: censored: censored: censored: was my reply noooo:
They apparently thought that might be the case - so have spoken to blokey about paying for any of my expenses that I may have incurred. So I say and show them letter from my insurance company - will he pay the £150 excess ?
Yes they confirm - but it will be at a rate of £5 a week and they will need my bank details
I don't think I can wait to tomorrow to start drinking evil: evil: evil:
P.S. Also got a letter from the Insurance people this morning - they need me to pay excesses charge up front before they arrange for Sven to come round - but will only accept cheques and will have to wait until that is cleared.
Do you ever feel you are having one of 'those' days noooo:
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The whole thing is idiotic. He gets a conditional discharge for making an offer which you rightly refuse? Tell them he should be locked up!! cussing:
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Completely agree - he has also written a letter of apology . Should explain - when he was rampaging through my garden he threw a piece of wood that hit me on the leg - caused minor cut and bruising etc and so they were also meant to be charging him with actual bodily harm and criminal damage. Didn't really want to go into that before sorry cry:
But because he says he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol he was not responsible for his actions evil: - I read his letter and tore it up in front of the police officer. Today is not a good day for such bullshit evil:
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That is truly outrageous! cussing:
Next time I get caught speeding I will tell them I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol and therefore not responsible for my actions! eveilgrin:
Oh, hold on tho... rubschin:
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Does Sanatogen count as drugs rubschin:
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Does Sanatogen count as drugs rubschin:
cussing:
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Sven has just rang me cloud9:
Next Friday he will sort out my woes lol:
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And is he going to mend your fence too?
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My barriers will be put back up cloud9:
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shutup:
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Popcorn:
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Isn't Sven there with his toolkit today>
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Not here yet evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
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Get out your OMO. That will hasten his arrival
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Haven't got any evil:
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Best get dressed then.
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fence:
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I have just rung them and apparently Sven is busy and will not be able to attend today - of course they have allegedly left me an A/P message to inform me of this - lying scumbags
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Not for another 2 weeks can he attend Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Why do werkmen do this? noooo:
You should get another man in
Actually, if it's an insurance job you could get your insurers onto them rubschin:
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Sven v2.0 rubschin:
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Perhaps we should resurrect the 'posting planks plan'? rubschin:
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Excellent!! She will be thrilled for her birthday, like. A load of planks in her house. Rather like this place on her compooter cloud9:
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Excellent!! She will be thrilled for her birthday, like. A load of planks in her house. Rather like this place on her compooter cloud9:
Will you be posting two short planks then? happy001
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I thought you were doing that. I am better at poles angel1
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I have just rung them and apparently Sven is busy and will not be able to attend today - of course they have allegedly left me an A/P message to inform me of this - lying scumbags
cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
England U21 vs Sweden U21 ...European Under-21 Championship Semi-Final 26th June 2009 KO 17:00 Ground: Gamla Ullevi
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We shall all be glued to it ::)
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We shall all be glued to it ::)
What, the fence...? Shrugs:
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Miss D and Sven (at some point) eyes:
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We shall all be glued to it ::)
whacky115 It was a suggestion as to why Sven was not availble today...gone to see the match shrugs:
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England went through...Sven won't be happy noooo:
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We shall all be glued to it ::)
whacky115 It was a suggestion as to why Sven was not availble today...gone to see the match shrugs:
I got it pirate... Nick is infatuated with the stupid cat... he can't see the wood for the trees... noooo:
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Got knockers on his mind as well
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Got knockers on his mind as well
And his shoulders prolly... noooo:
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All over the house noooo:
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Why do werkmen do this? noooo:
You should get another man in
Actually, if it's an insurance job you could get your insurers onto them rubschin:
It is the Insurance company's contractor - apparently I have no choice in this matter evil:
The idea of posting planks is becoming more attractive by the day ..... noooo:
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Sven 1 and Sven 2 have arrived and are currently drinking enough tea and coffee to sink an armada noooo: noooo: noooo:
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Sven 1 and Sven 2 have arrived and are currently drinking enough tea and coffee to sink an armada noooo: noooo: noooo:
But the important question is do they look good while doing it!
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Not bad I have to say whistle:
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Roughly translated that means that she has one old workman and a spotty yoof to assist him.
Heigh Ho ~ Any port in a storm eh? whistle:
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You are so cynical Snoops lol:
2 young men , I would put 1 in his late twenties and 1 in his early thirties. Both slim and no spotty faces that I can see.
Patio door open whilst I'm watching them sawing away .....and working at home of course whistle:
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Not bad I have to say whistle:
eyes:
Mother Wench's gardener is here. eyes: Now he is a total dish!
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Cold showers for the pair of you then!
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Not bad I have to say whistle:
eyes:
Mother Wench's gardener is here. eyes: Now he is a total dish!
No wonder you're awake lol:
Time for a bit of sunbathing eh eyes:
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Not bad I have to say whistle:
eyes:
Mother Wench's gardener is here. eyes: Now he is a total dish!
No wonder you're awake lol:
Time for a bit of sunbathing eh eyes:
He has just taken his top off to clean the pool. I may swoon!
Had such a major crush on him when I was a teenager. redface:
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'Had' - I'm sure that's not meant to be in the past tense my dear....
You swoon away lol:
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redface:
My Dad stopped employing him when I hit 18, he died and one of the first things my Mum did was hire him back!! lol:
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Close those patio doors and back to work MissD. You know it makes sense ;)
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But it's time for a Diet Coke break surely whistle: whistle: whistle:
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Sven has left the building
Fence restored cloud9:
Old fence debris still left in garden evil: - has to come back on Monday with different van - the van he has today is a new one and it will get all scuffed up if that is in the back Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Go and lay into it with that axe. It's bound to make you feel better ;D
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I may be posting in The Splinter thread later lol:
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Sven has left the building
Fence restored cloud9:
Old fence debris still left in garden evil: - has to come back on Monday with different van - the van he has today is a new one and it will get all scuffed up if that is in the back Banghead Banghead Banghead
I guess they charge by the day or part thereof, hence the second visit whistle:
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They are charging the insurance company so of that I have no doubt.
I got my second letter from victim support yesterday - said effectively they have nothing further to say but that they will write again when they do .... noooo: noooo: noooo:
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I got my second letter from victim support yesterday - said effectively they have nothing further to say but that they will write again when they do .... noooo: noooo: noooo:
Tossers cussing:
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Well, well , well ....
I have just had a call from the Police scared2:
They have a cheque for me for ?150 from the courts (the excess of my insurance claim) . Would seem the knobheads who destroyed my fence have paid up and the kindly policeman said he will pop it round to me today rather than put it in the post.
I seriously didn't think that was going to happen eeek:
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Just read all this MD. Glad you finally got it sorted chicky, but you shouldn't have had to go through it all in the first place, bloody arse wipes. cussing:
I had similar fence woes 2 years ago but finally got it sorted by taking the law into me own hands ( can't reveal what I did on a public forum) after having my fence kicked in by 4 cretins who simply marched over the flattened fence to retrieve their ball and verbally abused and threatened me and the Growler family when confronted, by arranging meetings with the plod and council and getting the park and what was left of its equipment ;) removed and shut.
Yoofs no longer find it so attractive sitting in long wet grass full of dog shite. happy088
Got over ?2000 worth of prickly bushes planted by the council around the perimeter of the park to protect everyones fences too. Damned good victory that I'm proud of.
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Excellent! ~ Both of you. happ096
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Well, well , well ....
I have just had a call from the Police scared2:
They have a cheque for me for ?150 from the courts (the excess of my insurance claim) . Would seem the knobheads who destroyed my fence have paid up and the kindly policeman said he will pop it round to me today rather than put it in the post.
I seriously didn't think that was going to happen eeek:
He is going to pop it round on a Sunday...? rubschin:
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He has already been and furnished me with a cheque .
Sunday morning - quietest time of the week apparently whistle:
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Anything to get out of cleaning the patrol car
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I don't care....most grateful. Saves it being lost in the post for weeks and allows me to bank it and spend it by the weekend whistle:
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I don't care....most grateful. Saves it being lost in the post for weeks and allows me to bank it and spend it by the weekend whistle:
Most grateful eh...? eyes:
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Men in uniforms eyes:
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Men in uniforms eyes:
Tsk, tsk... the poor chap didn't stand a chance... noooo:
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Did you make him a cup of tea?
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Give him a hobnob?
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Pirate is jealous... whistle:
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I don't drink tea or coffee ...and only have Jaffa Cakes whistle:
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No doughnuts...
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If I did I wouldn't be offering them up ;)
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I don't drink tea or coffee ...and only have Jaffa Cakes whistle:
Well wtf DO you drink then, or is that this weeks daftest question....ever? ::)
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I don't drink tea or coffee ...and only have Jaffa Cakes whistle:
Well wtf DO you drink then, or is that this weeks daftest question....ever? ::)
I have her down as drinking mainly alcohol and/or designer water. Possible the odd Hot Chocolate.
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I don't drink tea or coffee ...and only have Jaffa Cakes whistle:
Well wtf DO you drink then, or is that this weeks daftest question....ever? ::)
I have her down as drinking mainly alcohol and/or designer water. Possible the odd Hot Chocolate.
I concur with Mr Snoopy in this prediction.
We await the good lady and her confession. . .
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It'll be one of the fancy pants designer label shitty herbal brewy things that come in their own little pouches from the Asda, you watch and see.
Mrs G has them sometimes. ::) Rosehip tea or some such utter shite. sick2:
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I've never seen her drink anything other than vodka and white wine... noooo:
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I don't like hot drink ...including hot chocolate cry:
Anything cold and wet is ok whistle:
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I've never seen her drink anything other than vodka and white wine... noooo:
Why do I believe that? rubschin:
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I've never seen her drink anything other than vodka and white wine... noooo:
Liar:
I drink lots of water and soft drinks during the day angel1
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I don't like hot drink ...including hot chocolate cry:
Anything cold and wet is ok whistle:
Snoopys 'ooter then p'raps? cloud9:
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I've never seen her drink anything other than vodka and white wine... noooo:
Liar:
I drink lots of water and soft drinks during the day angel1
"Soft" as in below 3%?
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I don't like hot drink ...including hot chocolate cry:
Anything cold and wet is ok whistle:
Snoopys 'ooter then p'raps? cloud9:
That would have to be on a drip feed basis I take it eeek: