The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 10:29:11 AM

Title: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 10:29:11 AM
Some muppet has, yet again, posted one through the door. He will, it seems, call back to collect it in about a week.  Angry9:

Oh no. If he posts junk through my door he can't expect me to save it carefully and be here to hand it back to him when he tries to retrieve it  noooo:

Anyhoo, Mrs Nick is addicted to such shite and will doubtless buy more useless items.

Shite like this, for example




BIN!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV14rqr.jpg&hash=f11bab64abf68006f72b701dea4bb9a95b22252d) (http://www.postimage.org/)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 10:34:10 AM
BM would never need on of those  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 10:42:57 AM
On average we get one of these a month. We also get plastic bags, sealed in smaller plastic bags from: The British Heart Foundation, The NSPCC, The RSPCSA. The PDSA, Age Concern, Save the Children and a variety of other charities. Apart from the obvious fact that nobody, not even Wenchy, has that much tat to give away even if I do unseal the small plastic bag, take out the larger one contained therein, proceed to fill the large bag with unwanted clothing and place it on my doorstep on MONDAY (as the instructions say on the small bag says) the b@st@rds never, ever collect them and on TUESDAY it is still sat there. I have left them there for a week and still no-one takes it.

If I put down a bag of shopping whilst I struggle to open the door and get the kids into the house some scrote will try to snatch the shopping but they never steal the charity bags I leave out.

As for the Bettaware catalogue people THEY never call on the day they threaten either and the fecking catalogues sit on the doorstep waiting to be picked up for days and days. If, however I throw it away, someone will turn up on the stated "order collection day" and ask what I want to order because "You've not left the book on the step so that means you want something"  Banghead
 NO! I just want to be left without all this crap on my doorstep.  cussing:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 10:43:15 AM
Miss D can confirm my hairyness...  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 10:45:20 AM
I bet you got one of these for her visit

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F102%2F302105350_01814b8ad7.jpg%3Fv%3D0&hash=9d330863108812a356bec2a6ba897d19e007b66e)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 10:46:44 AM
I think the Betterware people sell those  noooo:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 10:49:31 AM
We had a team of charity collectors descend on the street yesterday... Oxfam or some such...

BM: (halfway through the girl's unintelligible spiel) No thank you we're not interested
Oxfam Girl: (disgusted) But it is for Sril lanka!
BM: No thank you we are not interested! (closes door)

This isn't collecting for charity it is extortion!  cussing:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 10:51:35 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqcHFr0.jpg&hash=6ddff47d492b189b021717a24d7533d6fe26e08e) (http://www.postimage.org/)

WHo in their right mind would use one of these? Let alone buy one!!
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 10:56:46 AM
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6324678.ece

Do not give to any charity claiming to be in aid of Sri Lanka ~ even the Red Cross have ceased operations there. Your money will not help starving, displaced persons but it will provide big cars for the politicians and ammo for the fighters.

I only support a limited number of charites and apart from the LifeBoats they are all Services based (Royal British Legion, RAF Association etc). The rest get told to feck off.
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 10:57:26 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqcHFr0.jpg&hash=6ddff47d492b189b021717a24d7533d6fe26e08e) (http://www.postimage.org/)

WHo in their right mind would use one of these? Let alone buy one!!



I could find a use for her  eyes:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 11:02:14 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqcHFr0.jpg&hash=6ddff47d492b189b021717a24d7533d6fe26e08e) (http://www.postimage.org/)

WHo in their right mind would use one of these? Let alone buy one!!

rubschin:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 11:23:45 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqcHFr0.jpg&hash=6ddff47d492b189b021717a24d7533d6fe26e08e) (http://www.postimage.org/)

WHo in their right mind would use one of these? Let alone buy one!!

rubschin:

I think the operative words used were "WHo in their right mind"

For taking delay time exposures etc these are better

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.photojojo.com%2Funcut%2Fwp-content%2F_uploads%2F2006%2F08%2Fgorillapod_SLR.jpg&hash=24504d5ab7cacc8f73f2e5df8cbc10f23fa7de1c)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 11:24:11 AM
Miss D can confirm my hairyness...  whistle:

Spent ages every morning getting it 'just so'  ;)





Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 12:56:01 PM
Whatever happened to the 'Inventions' ones - they used to be in newspapers if I remember rightly. They used to be fantastically entertaining   lol:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:00:53 PM
Innovations, I think. They had some truly bonkers stuff in them. Fortunately, we now have this


http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/new-arrivals/lightsabre-umbrella/index.html (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/new-arrivals/lightsabre-umbrella/index.html)

and of course this

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/how-smart-is-your-dog-iq-test/index.html (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/how-smart-is-your-dog-iq-test/index.html)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:01:51 PM
Do you mean "Innovations"? They still exist but they seem to distribute by direct mail to those who have been customers in the past. Seldom see them in the Sunday papers any more ~ prolly too expensive for little return




Snap! Two minds in sync again.
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:03:44 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm)  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:04:11 PM
2 peas in a pod  scared2:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:08:19 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm)  whistle:


I stand corrected ~ they do not still exist then but one gets so much crap through the letter box. Coopers of Stortford are one such and then there's Stowes of Bath and so it goes on and on. I still get one occasionally that offers the most bizarre items which is why I assumed Innovations was still going ~ they all go in the recycling box unread anyway.


Perhaps you should have looked a little further Nick ....... 6 months later the BBC said

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3217633.stm   whistle: whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:11:14 PM
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/tattoos/index.html (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/tattoos/index.html)  eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:13:06 PM
 lol: Innovations Lives!
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:14:32 PM
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/luv-duck/index.html (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/luv-duck/index.html)  eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:16:23 PM
 eyes:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:16:49 PM
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/holy-toast-set-of-2/index.html (http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/kitsch-daft/holy-toast-set-of-2/index.html)  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 01:19:03 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8058221.stm

This is how you love a duck  8)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:20:13 PM
I think Nick has found something to keep him entertained all afternoon now  noooo:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:21:18 PM
Well the numpty in Bradford has not sent me the promised e mail, so I am twiddling now
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 01:21:52 PM
Well the numpty in Bradford has not sent me the promised e mail, so I am twiddling now

 eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:23:59 PM
ANd what with Mrs Nick being fingerprinted again  ::)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:26:42 PM
ANd what with Mrs Nick being fingerprinted again  ::)

I presume this is for her  impending trip to Libya again ..... rather than wreckless criminal behaviour  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:30:54 PM
They seem to have to start all over again with the fingerprinting every time she goes there  noooo: In case she has cloned herself or has a twin sister or summat ( scared2:).

Very odd.
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:32:26 PM
 rubschin: How sure are you that this isn't a matter of Mrs Nick having an Inky Finger Fetish?
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:32:48 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:34:18 PM
Well nobody would ever imagine there were two of her ~ not even in your worst nightmares. ;)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:37:36 PM
Double the happiness surely  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:38:09 PM
Words fail me
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 01:39:11 PM
Words fail me
How about "aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:44:00 PM
But getting back on topic what happened to Kleeneze(sp)?
They were like Bettaware but bigger and better my old Mum used to say ~ but then she used to buy onions off a Frenchman on a Bike, Pegs from a Gypsy woman who came round every Spring, the milk came before 5am in bottles carried by a horsedrawn cart and we had three postal deliveries a day. cloud9:




We also had proper exams called GCEs at 'O' Level and then 'A' Level and something called a School Leaving Certificate for those who failed to get any 'O' Levels.
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:45:55 PM
 http://www.kleeneze.co.uk/ (http://www.kleeneze.co.uk/)  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:49:37 PM
OK so now what about the three postal deliveries, the milk in bottle delivered early in the morning, Old Ladies riding their bicycles through the mists to early morning mass and proper exams. Where are Johnny Onion and the Peg Lady?

I want my life back! cussing:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 01:51:24 PM
Cable TV by Redifusion with bakelite controls   cloud9:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 01:54:34 PM
Snap out of it you two.... you have reality to deal with   confused:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 01:54:42 PM
I want my life back! cussing:

Here...  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.investingator.org%2Frose-tints.jpg&hash=9503e0fd85a39496f67ce4b0fd9e71199f9f472a)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 02:00:49 PM
I want my life back! cussing:

Here...  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.investingator.org%2Frose-tints.jpg&hash=9503e0fd85a39496f67ce4b0fd9e71199f9f472a)

 rubschin: I remember one day when I got six of the best across the arse from the Head Master for bunking off, a wallop round the left ear from the local policeman for scrumping apples and a hiding off me dad for ripping me school trousers on a fence (which is how the copper caught up with me).
The 'appiest days o' me life  ::)
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 02:12:12 PM
So you like being spanked  eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 02:18:18 PM
So you like being spanked  eeek:

I'd prefer to be the spanker rather than the spankee but it depends who is making the offer.
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Pastis on May 20, 2009, 02:38:37 PM
 eeek:  The stuff I miss when werk beckons!   eeek:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 02:40:12 PM
WERK!  point:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Pastis on May 20, 2009, 02:47:18 PM
 evil:

But it pays the bills
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 02:57:55 PM
My dustbin eats my bills  whistle:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Pastis on May 20, 2009, 03:01:07 PM
Freddie Starr Ate my Hamster!
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 20, 2009, 05:53:28 PM
Some Peruvians of our acquaintance were eyeing some guinea pigs in a local pet shop with some interest. Seems they are a very popular lunch in Peru.

Anyhoo, and getting back in the direction of the topic, Mrs Nick arrived home with several bottles of Dandelion and Burdock. I know not why
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:25:49 AM
Mrs Nick found the Betterware catalogue in the bin and retrieved it. I am braced for deliveries of useless tat  noooo:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2009, 10:12:27 AM
Mrs Nick found the Betterware catalogue in the bin and retrieved it. I am braced for deliveries of useless tat  noooo:
Rugs 'n stuff...?
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 21, 2009, 10:13:05 AM
Mrs Nick found the Betterware catalogue in the bin and retrieved it. I am braced for deliveries of useless tat  noooo:

And the difference this week is  Shrugs:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 10:17:57 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 10:30:14 AM
A sensible man would have torn it into several pieces ....................... yes I can see the obvious flaw in my argument.  point:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 10:44:44 AM
A sensible woman would have torn it to shreds and smeared it with baked bean juice!  lol:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 21, 2009, 08:24:08 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2957409.stm)  whistle:


I stand corrected ~ they do not still exist then but one gets so much crap through the letter box. Coopers of Stortford are one such and then there's Stowes of Bath and so it goes on and on. I still get one occasionally that offers the most bizarre items which is why I assumed Innovations was still going ~ they all go in the recycling box unread anyway.


Perhaps you should have looked a little further Nick ....... 6 months later the BBC said

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3217633.stm   whistle: whistle:

Do you get GOS of Birmingham
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 21, 2009, 08:29:00 PM
OK so now what about the three postal deliveries, the milk in bottle delivered early in the morning, Old Ladies riding their bicycles through the mists to early morning mass and proper exams. Where are Johnny Onion and the Peg Lady?

I want my life back! cussing:
And the man who brought blocks of salt around on his horse drawn cart, and the scary gypsy lady with sprigs of heather, if you didn't buy any she would place a curse on you and your family for 7 generations, another reason why I have ended up on here!
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2009, 05:46:15 AM
OK so now what about the three postal deliveries, the milk in bottle delivered early in the morning, Old Ladies riding their bicycles through the mists to early morning mass and proper exams. Where are Johnny Onion and the Peg Lady?

I want my life back! cussing:
And the man who brought blocks of salt around on his horse drawn cart, and the scary gypsy lady with sprigs of heather, if you didn't buy any she would place a curse on you and your family for 7 generations, another reason why I have ended up on here!
But the curse is lifted when you reach 10,000 posts GOS!  lol:
Title: Re: The Betterware Catalogue
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 22, 2009, 06:21:47 AM
Thank you exalted master