The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on May 02, 2009, 05:43:40 PM
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As reported earlier Mrs Nick has volunteered us to feed the neighbours' cats for the weekend, quite forgetting that we too are going away. noooo:
We are due at a party in London at 2.00 tomorrow. We must therefore leave just after 10. Fat fooking chance. I shall remain calm angry041:
She now tells me that she has agreed with our hosts that we shall take: duvets, pillows and A MATTRESS! eeek:
Packing SHOULD be minimal otherwise. We are arriving, going to bed (on our own mattress evil:) and then leaving. Waddya need? Change of pants and stuff, toothbrush, head brush, um, that's it. FAT FOOKING CHANCE evil:
I predict:
1. Leave late with MAHOOSIVE amounts of luggage + mattress
2. Stop and come back for summat (e.g. shoes)
3. Leave again and then go shopping ('I have to take a present for X, Y or Z...')
4. Arrive at 5 to find party over
5. Try to get fooking mattress out of car (if we even get it in)
6. Get back in Bank HOliday traffic to find three dead cats and some irate neighbours
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Check the rad fan in the car works !!! As well!
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Can you not take an air bed mattress rubschin:
But as for other stuff......you have severely underestimated the packing requirements...you will need to factor in nightwear, a complete change of clothes for the next day if not two ( a girl has to have choices) , toiletries ( that is almost entitled to a case of it's own), bags of snacks and food ( you never know what kind of healthy crap they may try and feed you lol: ) and the list goes on
Set your alarm early - you may need every spare second you have whistle:
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You are Mrs Nick and I claim my £5.
What fooking airbed mattress? Do we have one my little crocodile?
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Actually, if it all goes wrong PM me the address and MissD and I will go to the party to represent you! eveilgrin:
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It should be quite a good do, they have some interesting friends. But I fear we shall miss it noooo:
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You are Mrs Nick and I claim my £5.
What fooking airbed mattress? Do we have one my little crocodile?
You can feckin borrow mine if it makes life easier and you are anywhere near sarf london my little piranha lol:
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Ealing noooo:
But thanks anyhoo
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You are Mrs Nick and I claim my £5.
What fooking airbed mattress? Do we have one my little crocodile?
You can feckin borrow mine if it makes life easier and you are anywhere near sarf london my little piranha lol:
I could have called in for a cuppa while the engine cooled down rubschin:
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And arrive hot and steaming at Miss D's door? eeek:
She may have jumped to conclusions noooo:
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And arrive hot and steaming at Miss D's door? eeek:
She may have jumped to conclusions noooo:
I am not the judgemental sort angel1
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char048
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You won't have room in the car for an appendage that long Nicholas lol:
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Getting back to the cats for a mo' why not just lock them in to a room with a huge bowl of food and a sand pit rubschin:
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I presume that you are only going for one night. Pastis is using his compassionate pet loving side of the brain and offering you practical solutions ;D
Personally I would kick them all out of the house and let them back in when you will return. They can survive for a day without any food even if they are too domesticated or lazy to catch their own 8)
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angel1
Many moons ago, we had a cat who was always ravenous. Out of curiosity I wondered just how much he would eat given the opportunity rubschin:
He managed 2 and a half bowls of food before crawling away to sleep; his legs couldn't support the weight and he clawed himself across the carpet to the other side of the room.... redface:
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I normally feel like that after Christmas dinner..... redface:
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I presume that you are only going for one night. Pastis is using his compassionate pet loving side of the brain and offering you practical solutions ;D
Personally I would kick them all out of the house and let them back in when you will return. They can survive for a day without any food even if they are too domesticated or lazy to catch their own 8)
2 of them are kittens cry:
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So the decision is simple: Do you (a) deprive yourself of a long drive, an uncomfortable night and a family row whilst letting down your neighbours who have relied on Mrs Nick's promise OR (b) do you stay at home, keep your wife's promises and put one less car on the road this bank holiday weekend?
I don't like cats but it wouldn't take me any thought to elect the latter.
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They could take the cats with them like... whistle:
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They could but they would only lose them. ::)
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Popcorn:
What could possibly go wrong rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fworkfails.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F03%2Fmattressesonroofhooray.jpg&hash=14ab291ed45c4c462576c47097b5c8b9081f3811)
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Or change of wife...? rubschin:
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Explanation for that seemingly disconnected post by BM. I removed a post that I had just made because the picture did not work. Unfortunately the Old Silver Fox was too quick off the mark (I have heard it said this is a recurring problem razz:) and ended up posting a reply to something I had removed.
Soooooooooooo ~ Moving on from insulting Nick let's all hope they all have a lovely day and that the kittens survive.
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Oh and the missing post concerned the suggestion of a change of avatar for Nick.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F2%2F20%2FSunsetBoulevardfinaleGloriaSwanson.jpg&hash=919b3592a0091a251c03e84a86ae742501321713)
"Norma Desmond" The original Drama Queen.
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Mrs Nick has gone swimming Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
It has occurred to me to develop some flu symptoms, like
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Mrs Nick has gone swimming Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
It has occurred to me to develop some flu symptoms, like
But don't you have to leave at 10 ??????
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Oh yes. noooo:
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Oh yes. noooo:
point:
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She just got back. Now she has to pack. And of course get the mattress in the car noooo:
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She just got back. Now she has to pack. And of course get the mattress in the car noooo:
I hope the 2 o 'clock deadline was very flexible noooo:
Just keep out of the way until you are told it is time to go. Then sit in the car and say little to nowt .
Get to the party and then enjoy yourself plenty 8)
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This is all going to routine. I have now been told to go shopping cussing:
Mrs Nick also informs me that she wishes to avoid motorways if possible rubschin:
11.16. An argument about trousers has broken out noooo:
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Popcorn:
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11.16. An argument about trousers has broken out noooo:
Presumably about who is wearing them?
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Coded message received from Señor Nic:
"I am surrounded by idiots sneezing Mexicans!"
I believe it's a bluff rubschin:
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Coded message received from Señor Nic:
"I am surrounded by idiots sneezing Mexicans!"
I believe it's a bluff rubschin:
You beat me home again eastdrink048
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Coded message received from Señor Nic:
"I am surrounded by idiots sneezing Mexicans!"
I believe it's a bluff rubschin:
You beat me home again eastdrink048
I refute that; there was no beating involved... the occasional nudge perhaps whistle:
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Coded message received from Señor Nic:
"I am surrounded by idiots sneezing Mexicans!"
I believe it's a bluff rubschin:
Popcorn:
Just where has he gone for this party rubschin:
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tunble:
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I believe Ealing was mentioned elsewhere but then so was London ~ and as any fule know there is a world of difference so expect tales of woe and satnag errors etc on his return..
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Was he meant to be back today ???
Checked the local news - no outbreaks of flu in the Ealing area, no roads blocked because of a mattress incident and no local computer systems seem to have been hacked into.
Seems like they are having a quiet weekend happy001
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In preparation like ;D
Popcorn:
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Ghastly from start to finish noooo:
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but.... but....
Popcorn:
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More tomorrow. We have an infestation to deal with evil:
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bed bugs in the mattress eeek:
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bed bugs in the mattress eeek:
It'll be those sneezy Mexicans ... scared2:
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Fleas evil:
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Las pulgas con el gripe porcine! eeek: scared2:
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Google translate ????
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Fleas with swine 'flu ... 8)
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The cat did a round of the beds last night. Very purry, like. We remarked on this to our host. 'I don't have a cat' eeek:
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Ta very much - I am being a slob tonight lol:
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The cat did a round of the beds last night. Very purry, like. We remarked on this to our host. 'I don't have a cat' eeek:
point:
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Cat Flu can be very nasty.
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Fur balls can cause so many problems, or so I have heard. redface:
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My old cat came in one day with fleas a couple of years back, & although we got rid of them on him we still get a resurgence every so often in the house, despite using every pesticide under the sun.
If you get rid of the little b*ggers, tell me what you used plse. Ta muchly.
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We were staying at a friend's house. I suspected for a while she has gone a bit odd. I have never in my life seen such a pitlike hovel as the one she now lives in. Full, chock full of shite. It was like one of those houses you read about which have been occupied for years by some hermit and the council have to tunnel in through old newspapers and cans of dog food etc.
She has invited us back. Never again. SHe has clearly lost the plot.
And yes, the party. We arrived after it had been in full swing for 2 hours, so most food gone, loads of tipsy folks and the smoking corner was full of Mexicans who claimed they had hay fever which is why they kept sneezing. rubschin: