The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on April 01, 2009, 05:21:37 PM
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Ok for a bit of background setting the last few days have been a nightmare with The Brat. In trouble at school - attitude at home etc...which culminated in a huge set to at 6.30 this morning noooo:
I have confiscated her mobile phone as punishment and decided that I would come home early this afternoon to try and talk to her about a way forward out of this crap.
School finished at 3.30. It is a ten minute walk to our house. By 5.30 she had not returned home evil:
So I turned on her mobile phone to get numbers for her friends that I was going to ring.......she doesn't think I know the password noooo:
As I do this the text message alerts beep. Should I look. Damn right I should.
Text messages from her "boyfriend" .........her feckin boyfriend ......she is feckin 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh how he loves her......oh how he's sorry he didn't treat her right today at school............oh how they're all planning to go out at the weekend.
Explode:
I have not said a word to The Brat . She returned at 5.45 saying she had been to football - which I had forgotten was happening redface:
She is just getting ready to go to guides....
I meantime I will be making a call to " TJ" ......and introduce myself as the person that is going to rip his feckin head off and shove it down his undeveloped throat in front of all his spotty mates if he thinks he is going near her again.
No doubt he will see her in school tomorrow and tell her all about his 'upsetting' phone call and I will be prepared for our little chat tomorrow night about just exactly how unreasonable I am.
So be it Angry9:
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scared:
You may have just topped Mrs Nick in the bloody scary poll... scared2:
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She is now at guides I am just going through texts......
Bless him he sent her a poem......
"If someone invented a gadget
That made me terrific in bed
I think I'd buy 25,000
And do it with you til I am dead "
I am just off to make a call......I won't be long.
Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
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Wanna borrow my tee shirt? whistle:
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Which one is that then Snoop's ...is that the heavily blood stained "Been through that T shirt " lol:
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Which one is that then Snoop's ...is that the heavily blood stained "Been through that T shirt " lol:
That's the one ~ Feckin' daughters! Banghead Banghead Banghead
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I can feel the anger from here....and rightly so in this case too. eeek: eeek:
Try and stay calm MD, or is it too late? eeek:
'kin kids....'specially daughters. Banghead
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Has she told you she has "Rights" yet? They teach them those at school ~ no bloody mention of the responsibilities that go with having rights though.
PS One such "Right" given to them at school is the right to contraceptive advice and/or private consultation with the school nursing service regarding the "Morning After Pill" THAT WILL NOT BE DISCLOSED TO THE PARENTS!
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My bastard bladder is foaming for MD here, and the brat isn't even my daughter...fortunately in this instance.
I can only try and imagine how I'd feel if I'd read a text message like that on the mini moose's phone. cussing:
What can we say to help? Shrugs:
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I am on my second glass of wine...
Whilst she is out I have checked through her diary. I have never done this before and am disappointed in myself for doing it. However she has lost all my trust and I might as well be in for a penny as in for a pound.
Full of this little twat's love notes from the end of February. One of them asking if he can touch her bum - she at least protested some indignation in her reply evil:
She is fucking 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't think I will be able to utter one word in her direction tonight because otherwise I could be up on manslaughter charges. But all hell will break loose tomorrow night when she returns and finds out I know the truth
She could be going to stay with her dad for a while evil: evil: evil:
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I feel for you... we've been through it... noooo:
Mind you, ours was thirteen...
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TBH there is nothing anyone can do or say. Raising children is an individual thing and we all stumble through it best we can.
Kids don't come with a manual or any requirement for lessons in how to raise them.
I have been at this child rearing lark since my first was born in 1968, my youngest is 8 ~ it gets no easier I promise you.
Everyone of them has been different and reacted differently to the others. No one solution ever works more than once and that is all I have really learned about it in exactly 41 years ~ yes my eldest is 41 today.
I think that they all fall in and out of love from about the age of ten or eleven. It is an almost daily thing and the peer pressure is tremendous these days. Add the TV (Try watching Hannah Montana or My Parents are Aliens or similar on TV) telling them that they SHOULD be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex or their own gender if they prefer and old fashioned ideas like ours don't have a chance. With sons you just hope that they will be OK but you know that at least they can't get pregnant. With daughters all you can do is pray.
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I can't really add to this other than barman: which sometimes is as good as it gets.
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I'm with Snoopy though a darn lot younger.
Can you do right for doing wrong? And a none too distant memory reminds me of what I was trying to be up to at their age, though to be fair at 12 i think sex was a million times behind playing football. I just hear myself bollocking the kids for doing things I would try and do myself what seems like a blink of an eye ago.
Having said that, my 4 year old is bookies favourite to win the Easter Bonnet competition at Nursery tomorrow but he's upset because Katie's mum prefers spending her 'benefits' on fags and Lambrini rather than Arts and Crafts. He wants us to make her a bonnet so she can look "loveliful"...
cloud9:
But if I ever catch him sending a text like that Miss D be assured I'll kick his arse!
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Sympathies Miss D. I agree with other posters, child rearing is never an easy thing to do, especially as their brains are not wired up properly. Peer group pressure is, IMHO far worse today than it was when I was 'the Brats' age, mind you the dinosaurs had only just crawled out of the swamps then!
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lol:
Hardly Miss C !!
Round 2 will continue tonight when she returns home form being with her romeo in class all day. He will no doubt inform her of our 'conversation' and we will have a conversation of our own evil:
Can't wait ::)
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I hope that you have a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge, purely for medicinal purposes you understand, they will help to keep your blood pressure down. ;)
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lol:
Hardly Miss C !!
Round 2 will continue tonight when she returns home form being with her romeo in class all day. He will no doubt inform her of our 'conversation' and we will have a conversation of our own evil:
Can't wait ::)
Oh. You rang HIM then? scared:
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Oh yes...I had confiscated her phone.
I used her phone and rang him and then was silent for a minute or two while he babbled on ...hi baby ...wot u up to innit ...and similar such bollocks. Then I formally introduced myself eveilgrin:
The Brat will also realise I know the security code for her phone which no doubt she will change as soon as she has her phone returned to her - so in the meantime I have copied all her numbers to a spare SIM of mine whistle:
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Popcorn:
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Popcorn:
Is thar'it like? You sole input is to stuff your fat bearded mousy face like? ::)
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Popcorn:
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Point is Miss D ~ As a parent you either want to know EVERYTHING your child is doing or you want to know NOTHING about what your child is doing.
Frankly the way to sanity is the latter option. Impractical I know but it does make for a restful life. They do eventually reach an age when you are better not knowing ...... it is at that point that the little sods start telling you everything. Banghead
You will of course now be accused of breaching her privacy, violating her trust etc etc and you may drive the "affair" underground. What you will never do, unless you place her in a convent, is stop her seeing him or any other boy that takes her eye. Take the pragmatic view. Use this as the opportunity to speak of mutual trust, her good sense (in which YOU have implicit faith) and have a long talk about birds and bees, the ruining of a young life etc etc. Then get her to the doctors for the anti cervical cancer jab ASAP ~ my little "angel" managed to become "sexually active" before we had the chance to get that jab for her and she now does not qualify for it, having ruled herself out by one little bit of nooky. Banghead
When we accepted that we could not be with her 24/24 and that if she was determined to have sex with her BF (OK she is almost 16 but!!!!!) and that my ripping his bollox off would only drive them closer together we made damned sure she was on the pill. She then accused us, based on some spurious stats issued by the school in one of their "Rights without Responsibilities" lessons that by taking the pill for a prolonged period (ie starting it so early in her life), of almost certainly condemning her to future breast cancer I could have, but didn't, strangled her.
I tell you all this to demonstrate that you need to consider what you say ~ do NOT speak in anger ~ which I know you rightly feel, as did we.
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We are thinking of having the Boy castrated. As a birthday present, like
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Point is Miss D ~ As a parent you either want to know EVERYTHING your child is doing or you want to know NOTHING about what your child is doing.
You talk sense Snoops
I was just not prepared for this at 12 !!!!
Maybe in a year or 2 perhaps but not now. I guess that is my naivety noooo:
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I am not a parent but have seen this with friends and family, not a pleasant experience but seemingly more and more common.
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One of Mrs Growlers friends was banned from having boyfriends by her over protective father. Locked her in her room, wouldn't let her out at night etc.
She was 'up the duff' at 16. ::)
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Miss D, I have rather avoided this thread as these problems are deeply personal for both parent and child and the varied opinions of a bunch of virtual friends may hinder rather than help.
I can assure you that the difficulties are quite universal and girls are more of a problem than boys in my experience, probably due to hormonal fluctuations that they must learn to cope with.
There is little you can do apart from worry, and hope that rules you imposed and the examples you set, prove a stronger influence than their peers.
Luckily all mine turned out OK and matured into reasonable people after going through the same kinds of antics.
Snoopy has it all about right.
You are not alone. happy100
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What he said!
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Miss D, I have rather avoided this thread as these problems are deeply personal for both parent and child and the varied opinions of a bunch of virtual friends may hinder rather than help.
I can assure you that the difficulties are quite universal and girls are more of a problem than boys in my experience, probably due to hormonal fluctuations that they must learn to cope with.
There is little you can do apart from worry, and hope that rules you imposed and the examples you set, prove a stronger influence than their peers.
Luckily all mine turned out OK and matured into reasonable people after going through the same kinds of antics.
Snoopy has it all about right.
You are not alone. happy100
happ096
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The Brat will also realise I know the security code for her phone which no doubt she will change as soon as she has her phone returned to her -
Not that I want to give you any ideas but I suspect that the brat can only change the security code if you haven't beaten her to it first as the current code would need to be entered first..
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I could change her security code GM but when I give the phone back she will need to know it and that would defeat the whole purpose evil:
Far better to copy all her contacts and have them at my disposal , if and when they are ever equired , without her knowing of course.
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She's good eeek:
I have come home tonight and not a word has she mentioned yet . I am biding my time this evening but we shall have a friendly chat shortly.
In the meantime however she has hoovered the whole house, cleaned her room eeek: , washed up all the dishes, all prior to me coming home. To top it all she had her end of school term report waiting for me on the side which showed great results this term and an improvement over last.
I wonder who could have taught her such devious tactics rubschin:
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She's good eeek:
I have come home tonight and not a word has she mentioned yet . I am biding my time this evening but we shall have a friendly chat shortly.
In the meantime however she has hoovered the whole house, cleaned her room eeek: , washed up all the dishes, all prior to me coming home. To top it all she had her end of school term report waiting for me on the side which showed great results this term and an improvement over last.
I wonder who could have taught her such devious tactics rubschin:
Go check the bathroom mirror. The answer will be staring you in the face. lol:
Come on ~ cut the kid a bit of slack. You've made your point, that much is obvious, now you can both be adult about it all. She prolly hasn't done anything more than held his hand and kissed him a couple of times.
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I am cutting her some slack Snoops as advised cloud9:...I am being lovely this evening ...even if I say so myself lol:
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Miss D, I have rather avoided this thread as these problems are deeply personal for both parent and child and the varied opinions of a bunch of virtual friends may hinder rather than help.
I'll do a Nick & Co., and keep me gob shut then. Don't want to seem to be giving you some unhelpful and hindering advice.
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I'll do a Nick & Co., and keep me gob shut then. Don't want to seem to be giving you some unhelpful and hindering advice.
Don't be a muppet - you're advice and support has been invaluable and very appreciated cloud9:
I will make cake 8)
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I am cutting her some slack Snoops as advised cloud9:...I am being lovely this evening ...even if I say so myself lol:
You've been reading up on psychological warfare haven't you. That will freak her out more than the WWIII confrontation she was expecting. lol:
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Just bought her a take away ..of her choice whistle:
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As a finishing touch can I suggest a family movie night. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" perchance whistle:
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I feel sick.... noooo:
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We warned you about that special basil bread recipe BM, but did you listen? noooo:
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Should have cooked the pizza lol:
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evil:
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Should have cooked the pizza lol:
Its not BM's fault, it said "Hot Pepperoni" on the box. whistle:
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Should have cooked the pizza lol:
Its not BM's fault, it said "Hot Pepperoni" on the box. whistle:
How did you know that...? rubschin:
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Simple, you are the Med's version of Nick so it was obvious lol:
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Simple, you are the Med's version of Nick so it was obvious lol:
rubschin:
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point:
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point:
evil:
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I'd like to echo Darwin's sentiments but I'm a sadist and think my opinion is worthy of web space.
Do a Frizel reverse, i.e lock her in the attic and don't give her access to inappropriate lewdness. It worked for Ann Frank...
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I'd like to echo Darwin's sentiments but I'm a sadist and think my opinion is worthy of web space.
Do a Frizel reverse, i.e lock her in the attic and don't give her access to inappropriate lewdness. It worked for Ann Frank...
lol:
Mmmmm the old basket case in the attic syndrome - has some potential I think lol:
Could do with living in a much older house though. At her first strop , she will stamp her Ugg plated hoofs through the plasterboard and be back in my space again noooo:
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We have a big dark cellar eveilgrin:
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We have a big dark cellar eveilgrin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqWKOuJ.jpg&hash=210b20ef3a4548a3c5f852cae2292236a2e38c02) (http://www.postimage.org/)
What does yours have on offer?
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A day of puns looms noooo:
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A day of puns looms noooo:
rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stringpage.com%2Floom%2Fplaid-loom.png&hash=cabd8771df89c571575201d6cf01674fd6e85a90)
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I'll set them up....
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We have a big dark cellar eveilgrin:
Is that where you were spoor sniffing?
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No, it was something I found under the Boy's bed evil:
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No, it was something I found under the Boy's bed evil:
eeek: Heaven only knows what it is/was comprised of, then. Did you find any crumpled up well used tissues? Did you check under the mattress for 'interesting' reading material?scared2:
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I believe it may once have been some sort of foodstuff, except it was about as big as a football and unpleasantly fluffy evil:
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I believe it may once have been some sort of foodstuff, except it was about as big as a football and unpleasantly fluffy evil:
Bereks head?
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Puff ball mushroom?
Magic mushroon?
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Is it not his Chewbacca mask that he is cultivating so he can look like his idol - Growler lol:
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Puff ball mushroom?
Magic mushroon?
Magic Puff dragon?
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Lived by the sea...allegedly
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Brighton prolly whistle:
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Brighton prolly whistle:
That was Poof the Magic Dragon.
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Brighton prolly whistle:
I was ther last weekend, bloody strange wedding...
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Brighton prolly whistle:
Brighton University now I 'spec...
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Brighton prolly whistle:
Brighton University now I 'spec...
drumroll: drumroll:
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By way of an update for my advisores here (anyone not remotely interested please feeel free to switch to another thread now before reading this and moaning lol:)
The Brat and I had a long chat last night about the BF eeek:
I was so calm, listened , and she actually talked about him. You lot know your onions I tell ya lol:
Apparently she does like him but would much rather hang out with her girly mates. They have had a small kiss but that is it. I did the "what boys will expect talk" and she said if ever that was the case and she was tempted whatever her age she would talk to me - the last thing she was going to end up was pregnant as she was going to travel when she left school eeek:. This was news to me but glad she was thinking this far ahead.
A very positive end to a hideous week
Ta
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By way of an update for my advisores here (anyway not remotely interested please feeel free to switch to another thread now before reading this and moaning lol:)
The Brat and I had a long chat last night about the BF eeek:
I was so calm, listened , and she actually talked about him. You lot know your onions I tell ya lol:
Apparently she does like him but would much rather hang out with her girly mates. They have had a small kiss but that is it. I did the "what boys will expect talk" and she said if ever that was the case and she was tempted whatever her age she would talk to me - the last thing she was going to end up was pregnant as she was going to travel when she left school eeek:. This was news to me but glad she was thinking this far ahead.
A very positive end to a hideous week
Ta
happ096
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By way of an update for my advisores here (anyone not remotely interested please feeel free to switch to another thread now before reading this and moaning lol:)
The Brat and I had a long chat last night about the BF eeek:
I was so calm, listened , and she actually talked about him. You lot know your onions I tell ya lol:
Apparently she does like him but would much rather hang out with her girly mates. They have had a small kiss but that is it. I did the "what boys will expect talk" and she said if ever that was the case and she was tempted whatever her age she would talk to me - the last thing she was going to end up was pregnant as she was going to travel when she left school eeek:. This was news to me but glad she was thinking this far ahead.
A very positive end to a hideous week
Ta
Very pleased you sorted it. ;)
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By way of an update for my advisores here (anyone not remotely interested please feeel free to switch to another thread now before reading this and moaning lol:)
The Brat and I had a long chat last night about the BF eeek:
I was so calm, listened , and she actually talked about him. You lot know your onions I tell ya lol:
Apparently she does like him but would much rather hang out with her girly mates. They have had a small kiss but that is it. I did the "what boys will expect talk" and she said if ever that was the case and she was tempted whatever her age she would talk to me - the last thing she was going to end up was pregnant as she was going to travel when she left school eeek:. This was news to me but glad she was thinking this far ahead.
A very positive end to a hideous week
Ta
Well done girl. happy088
You have now established the first proper "Adult-Adult" bond which will see you through many traumas and problems over the years.
It will be a two-way street as well. ;)
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happ096
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lol: lol: lol:
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I have emailed copies to the THW, her BF and to my Granddaughter aged 15 whistle: