The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Restaurant => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2009, 05:46:10 PM
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I have watched a few of these programmes. If you are unaware this is essentially where 5 strangers get together, host a dinner party at their house on consecutive nights of the week and pretend they can cook , be a good host / ess . They get marked out of ten by their guests for their efforts. This is done at the end of the night - usually when they are totally sozzled. The best bit is the voice over commentary which is truly bitchy coupled with the cringe fest moments when they try and entertain their guests by singing, magic tricks etc.
The prize - a piss poor meagre £1000 noooo:
Your fellow diners meanwhile go round your house, opening your bedside cabinet draws etc and making bitchy comments about your decor etc before turning their nose up at the food you have slaved away all day cooking (most of the time).
In every program there are a number of characters to choose from whether this is the picky eater (a vegan or coeliac), the drunk (who falls asleep through dinner), the cheat (who uses packets or a local restaurant!). the opinionated know it all , the am dram queen , the hunter and gatherer type, the pretentious wine buff, the housewife who shops only at Iceland etc
So who is going to be first to host the VP Come Dine With Me Dinner Party and what we will eat and find in your house rubschin:
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lol: lol: lol:
Ah don't tink soooooooooo! noooo:
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So who is going to be first to host the VP Come Dine With Me Dinner Party and what we will eat and find in your house rubschin:
Well Old Baldy is having you over to Cyprus Miss D....
The question is are you brave enough to go poking through his cupboards whistle:
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lol: lol: lol:
Ah don't tink soooooooooo! noooo:
So we'll be having chicken then lol:
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rubschin: My Jamaican Jerked Chicken is spoken of with some reverence in certain circles but ah still don't tink soooooooooooo! noooo:
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I do a mean mexican tequila soaked chicken. Goes really well on a BBQ.
Almost as well as the rest of the tequila does with the guests whistle:
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Can't do Tequila GM unless your table top could withstand me dancing on it redface:
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If I get another job up country then I'll make sure I have a strong table Miss D. eyes:
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So who is going to be first to host the VP Come Dine With Me Dinner Party and what we will eat and find in your house rubschin:
Well Old Baldy is having you over to Cyprus Miss D....
The question is are you brave enough to go poking through his cupboards whistle:
He's right... the first one will be at my house.... cloud9:
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I'll bring my score cards lol:
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I'll bring my score cards lol:
I'll clear out the cupboards... redface:
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He's right... the first one will be at my house.... cloud9:
Starters - bread
Main - chips
Desert - ice cream (made from goat's milk eeek:)
But lots and lots of collapso - this may affect the scoring naturally lol:
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He's right... the first one will be at my house.... cloud9:
Starters - bread
Main - chips
Desert - ice cream (made from goat's milk eeek:)
But lots and lots of collapso - this may affect the scoring naturally lol:
Yes... plenty of cheap French collapso... to aid digestion like... happy088
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Could extra points be earned for the elegant manner in which one falls off the roof? rubschin:
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Entertainment efforts will be considered in the scores rubschin:
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A double Pike with twist is worth at least .5 of a mark from the Russian Judge whistle:
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as long as it's not in lycra or spandex eeek:
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evil:
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OK BM, put the Lycra outfit back in its drawer noooo:
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OK BM, put the Lycra outfit back in its drawer noooo:
doh: sad24:
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It was going at the seams anyway noooo:
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It was going at the seams anyway noooo:
Poor Cypriot workmanship... whistle:
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Fat would be gymnast more like noooo:
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Fat would be gymnast more like noooo:
evil:
I have the body of an athlete!
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Under the patio?
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Under the patio?
drumroll:
Not bad... I expected a picture of a Sumo wrestler or someone from the Paralympics... lol:
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No Miss D's snaps will suffice whistle:
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No Miss D's snaps will suffice whistle:
eeek:
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I hear she has a wide angle lens
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I hear she has a wide angle lens
Is she going to take pictures of my cinema then...? whistle:
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Yes. She is also bringing a magnifying glass
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Yes. She is also bringing a magnifying glass
eeek: What's that for? eeek:
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She will know when she finds it. If, she finds it
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Yes. She is also bringing a magnifying glass
I will bring all my own equipment thanks 8)
I have a special tool kit for such occasions
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Is it very small?
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Micro and Macro 8)
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eeek:
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Tweezers?
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhighschool.caminonuevo.org%2FStudent_Website%2FAna_Garcia%2F10th%2520grade%2FDocuments%2FEngineering%2FMicroscope%2520Lab%2520Report_files%2Fimage001.jpg&hash=23d4b8861ae56ffa8e5127c2b396f436826b929e)
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Tweezers, pliers, socket wrenches, keyhole surgery kit etc etc etc
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::)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F21a3Tow5XGL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=632a7733c223d50796160d7981ed1fcd198908f1)
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Vaseline
oh sorry, wrong thread redface:
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The expense of spirits is a crying shame,
So is the cost of wine. What bard today
Can live like old Khayyam? It's not the same--
A loaf and Thou and Tesco's Beaujolais.
I had this bird called Sharon. Fond of gin--
Could knock back six or seven. At the price
I paid a high wage for each hour of sin
And that was why I only had her twice.
Then there was Tracy, who drank rum and Coke.
So beautiful I didn't mind at first
But love grows colder. Now some other bloke
Is subsidizing Tracy and her thirst.
I need a woman, honest and sincere,
Who'll come across on half a pint of beer.
A poem for Miss D
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eeek:
I've not had that many women noooo:
That many = none before you lot start
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It was by a lady poet!
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It was by a lady poet!
A lady loving lady poet whistle:
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No. Wendy Cope
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Don't drink beer anyway ...but as for the other options rubschin:
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Wendy Cope! cussing:
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Miss D - pleased to meet you happy088
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendy_Cope (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendy_Cope)
cussing: cussing: cussing:
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I prefer that guy from Leeds. Wossisname?
Simon Armitage
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I prefer that guy from Leeds. Wossisname?
Simon Armitage
Of sanitaryware fame?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_3HSuKNNx-Dc%2FR-Ve--NgmjI%2FAAAAAAAAAN4%2FEcOrTT9vcXI%2Fs400%2FBILD0054.JPG&hash=4e317a5bc93a468cf5270ac36fa8ff9d184cd70e)
"If you are close enough to read it, you are about to taste that first pint all over again"
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I prefer that guy from Leeds. Wossisname?
Simon Armitage
Of sanitaryware fame?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_3HSuKNNx-Dc%2FR-Ve--NgmjI%2FAAAAAAAAAN4%2FEcOrTT9vcXI%2Fs400%2FBILD0054.JPG&hash=4e317a5bc93a468cf5270ac36fa8ff9d184cd70e)
"If you are close enough to read it, you are about to taste that first pint all over again"
We use to have a foot-bath like that. It said "Shanks" inside it
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I prefer that guy from Leeds. Wossisname?
Simon Armitage
Of sanitaryware fame?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_3HSuKNNx-Dc%2FR-Ve--NgmjI%2FAAAAAAAAAN4%2FEcOrTT9vcXI%2Fs400%2FBILD0054.JPG&hash=4e317a5bc93a468cf5270ac36fa8ff9d184cd70e)
"If you are close enough to read it, you are about to taste that first pint all over again"
We use to have a foot-bath like that. It said "Shanks" inside it
That's the fella!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.heatandplumb.com%2Fimages%2Farmitage_shanks%2Fventura%2Fmain_product_PCPKAS230.jpg&hash=cbc74b749bc2de9054f5c75a57b944f05bfecab6)
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We have the 'poor mans' version of this programme here in the rural South.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq13on2i.jpg&hash=b73a222364b890d063bfcab5ce86882d212ac792) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq13on2i)
Come Darn With Me....
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We have the 'poor mans' version of this programme here in the rural South.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq13on2i.jpg&hash=b73a222364b890d063bfcab5ce86882d212ac792) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq13on2i)
Come Darn With Me....
drumroll:
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F. Watched the 'celebrity' version tonight - Michael Barrymore what a total and utter w***er noooo:
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F. Watched the 'celebrity' version tonight - Michael Barrymore what a total and utter w***er noooo:
Bet no one went in the pool !!!!!
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Just seen an trailer for "Come dine with me, WAGs special" May God forgive me, I really want to watch it. eeek:
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Boots have a Kleenex offer of three for the price of two. whistle:
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Did you have to buy lots today Snoops ;)
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They have eaten tons ...............
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Oh I see what you mean ~ nah ..... TBQH I have spent most of the evening on the pooter. The girls are lovely as all young girls should be but one at least is my own and that does rather put a dampener on my lustful thoughts.
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It's just started ~ Channel 4
Already happy001
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Tonight it's the ex-footballers!
Razor Ruddock with just a pinny on eeek:
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I was just watching Fat Families on Sky Anytime.... happy001
Stupid fat people, what more could you want...? lol: lol: lol:
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Stupid Fat Scottish Gingers?
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Tonight it's the ex-footballers!
Razor Ruddock with just a pinny on eeek:
Made me laugh out loud so many times watching that last night. So much better than the Wags version .
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I haven't seen the WAGs edition yet.
Last night was funny.
Don't know how much they were acting - Fash is a loon anyway.
Mrs Tel didn't recall Worthy and couldn't understand the "babe magnet" association.
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Doesn't it make you cringe though when these men , that considered themselves ladies men in their times, cannot quite shed that image of themselves.
Frank Worthington , god bless him , is a prime example. How much oil was used in slicking back what little hair he has left noooo:
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Like wimmin don't continue to use make-up, have their hair done weekly, wear high heels etc long after their "breeding" days are over ::)
Vanity is universal.
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Like wimmin don't continue to use make-up, have their hair done weekly, wear high heels etc long after their "breeding" days are over ::)
Vanity is universal.
Women are better at it though.
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Like wimmin don't continue to use make-up, have their hair done weekly, wear high heels etc long after their "breeding" days are over ::)
Vanity is universal.
Women are better at it though.
Indeed ~ I have yet to meet one who can pass a mirror or any reflective surface without looking at herself.
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I positively avoid them noooo:
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I positively avoid them noooo:
Won't you forget to recognise yourself?
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I positively avoid them noooo:
shutup:
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I positively avoid them noooo:
Won't you forget to recognise yourself?
Probably has no reflection. scared2:
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WAGS on at the moment. "I'm doing Thai fishcakes with a papaya salad, but the didn't have papaya so I'm using a cucumber instead" happy001 happy001 happy001
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Makes me feel almost normal ;)
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Watched some of the Australian version of this yesterday...and I thought the British contingent were weird odd bods noooo: noooo: noooo:
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Watched some of the British one yesterday... noooo:
The host was a one eyed gayer that did an embalming course then embalmed his parents - after they were dead like... noooo:
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You wouldn't want him to be serving up offal of any description would you scared2:
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You wouldn't want him to be serving up offal of any description would you scared2:
You bloody wouldn't! lol:
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So if you were going to host a dinner party for strangers ....A VP Come Dine with me cloud9: .....what would your menu be ????
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Growler would tied them down and make them watch him eat three courses of cake noooo:
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I bloody love CDWM lol:
It is on telly at the moment ...and there is always a complete nutcase on there to take the piss out of . This bloke has a yellow Ferrari and don't they all know it ::) . What a wanker noooo:
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And he entered the world disco dancing comp in london ............... eeek:
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I know ...AS IF happy001 happy001 happy001
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I know ...AS IF happy001 happy001 happy001
he is not asian ........... ::)
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Har de bloody har ( his brother obviously )
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And he entered the world disco dancing comp in london ............... eeek:
I bet a bird , within a bird, within a bird has completely different connotations to you lol:
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And he entered the world disco dancing comp in london ............... eeek:
I bet a bird , within a bird, within a bird has completely different connotations to you lol:
You know it ................ 8)
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CDWM is great entertainment, and as Miss D says, full of nutters/pissheads/both. I always enjoy the ones with the Welsh or from yorkshire, you know you're gonna get at least one argument per episode
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I bloody love CDWM lol:
It is on telly at the moment ...and there is always a complete nutcase on there to take the piss out of . This bloke has a yellow Ferrari and don't they all know it ::) . What a wanker noooo:
Just watched yesterdays efforts. happy088 And no surprise that they were from yorkshire lol:
Miss D, did you know every James Bond movie has a deliberate mistake...... the blonde 'un creased me up with her laughing at him. Top comedy
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Was fab wasn't it ....I couldn't stop laughing when she lost it either ..the look from the other bloke would have set me off too lol:
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P.s Have you seen the twassock that is on tonight's one noooo:
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If it's the Worcester one with Blobby Williams, just started watching it now lol:
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I am Spartacus? noooo: Wankah:
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What a complete and utter arse ......making him wear a pigs head. Blobby Williams handled it well though .....I don't think I'd have been so gracious redface:
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What an out and out prick
Those dormice, I nearly fell off the settee laughing happy001
And Dave Lamb's comments make it even better
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You have to wonder when they watch the programme what they think of themselves or do you reckon they would blame it on unfavourable editing? rubschin:
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I may have to watch this programme rubschin:
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You really need to, in fact I think you should enter it whistle:
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cloud9: I could make cassoulet, like
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Would you have a theme or put on some entertainment like ????
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Plus, forget the cassoulet, you need 3 other willing participants ... whistle:
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The all new VP virtual come dine with me........... rubschin:
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Oh I'm sure the producers have a long list of willing participants in that area. It would a good opportunity for our Nick to meet local, like minded folk whistle:
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The svelte red-head springs to mind ... eyes:
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Can she cook ? , not that this is a requirement lol:
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Can she cook ? , not that this is a requirement lol:
We need to know! Hey, there's that wumman who delivered the Caribbean take away too! razz:
Only 1 bloke needed to make up the 4 some cloud9:
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She is round for coffee and croissants on Saturday cloud9:
With her boyfriend evil: evil:
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Can she cook ? , not that this is a requirement lol:
We need to know! Hey, there's that wumman who delivered the Caribbean take away too! razz:
Only 1 bloke needed to make up the 4 some cloud9:
What about the Bob Marley hero worshipping doctor , he sounds just the ticket lol:
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That's it, 4 some in place:
1. Svelte redhead
2. Nick
3. Caribbean take away wumman
4. Rastifarian inclined GP
And now.... the menus eveilgrin:
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Beans and a firework display eveilgrin:
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The drinks are served
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.channel4.com%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2FChannel4%2F4Food%2Fontv%2Fcome-dine%2Fseries_11%2Fcardiff%2Fcontestants-625_A0.jpg%26amp%3Bsa%3DX%26amp%3Bei%3DDyKaTa6mD8uUOqjJpJYH%26amp%3Bved%3D0CAQQ8wc%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNFiNDMk0Tu_ZVtZYQxwSRg3qQuIbw&hash=9e882178a6d6e0661e220d60cfc088e47716b645)
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With regard to the issue of content, the disjunctive perturbation of the spatialA relationships brings within the realm of discourse the distinctive formal juxtapositions.
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With regard to the issue of content, the disjunctive perturbation of the spatialA relationships brings within the realm of discourse the distinctive formal juxtapositions.
Are you serving a jus with that? razz:
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Pan fried evil:
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Pan fried evil:
toilet pan........... rubschin:
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lol:
It may be where it ends up a lot quicker than nature intends whistle:
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Nick will be the one that having finally got his chance at fifteen minutes of stardom decides he's gonna do a recipe thaat he's never done before whacky115
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Nick will be the one that having finally got his chance at fifteen minutes of stardom decides he's gonna do a recipe thaat he's never done before whacky115
Beer-can chicken........ rubschin:
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NNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo noooo:
He will put it in the microwave scared2:
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Nick will be the one that having finally got his chance at fifteen minutes of stardom decides he's gonna do a recipe thaat he's never done before whacky115
Beer-can chicken........ rubschin:
rubschin:
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Oooh, oooh, oooh I know him, I know him
Terry the butcher was serving the last guy with his chicken. The episode has to be at least one year old though cos he's been working at a different (and better) butchers now. Sooooo, did he give the contestant the idea what to cook, or vice-versa cos they do that chicken stuffed with cheese and wrapped in Parma ham at both butchers.
A shame the lad passed away shortly after filming too cry:
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Most popular dishes on CDWM seem to be stuffed chickeny things or beef wellington or steak. And you have to have a trio of puds these days it would seem rubschin:
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It's on More 4 at the moment .....she is serving grassshoppers for starters eeek: eeek: eeek:
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Anybody watch tonites?
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Anybody watch tonites?
Missed it, was there a Cypriot on it ??
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Watching it up catch up now cloud9:
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Anybody watch tonites?
Missed it, was there a Cypriot on it ??
Turkish Cypriot...? rubschin:
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Anybody watch tonites?
Missed it, was there a Cypriot on it ??
rubschin: A blue Rabbit drinking Keo...
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What a bunch of freaks...but he is bad noooo: . He needs taking down a peg or two eveilgrin:
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I shall be watching it on catch up later.
Did anybody see last weeks CDWM Down Under with the woman that analysed dreams happy001
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Oh Yes ...her and Diana were 'like that ' ::) ::) ::)
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It was the Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds that made me laugh happy001
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Tonights - WhereTF do they get from them from? According to Goldilocks (with her seven foot tall butler) you can get a baby from a knee cap cos you have fluid there. I reckon they're the ones who pose the questions on Yahoo answers
Total nut cases
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whistle: Well it obviously keeps some people in the community entertained... ;)
I've never watched it myself; I prefer Dog the Bounty Hunter...
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Seriously eeek:
I have seen that once...him and his mirror image wife and buffoon son noooo: noooo: noooo:
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I like him... cloud9:
Not in a 2gayers: way mind...
I like Baby Lyssa too... eyes:
noooo: She is not his wife...she is his daughter...
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That is The Brat's name ...seems very wrong you saying that noooo:
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redface: No offence intended...how old is she?
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doh:
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No offence taken - muppet lol:
She is not quite legal yet lol:
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redface: No offence intended...how old is she?
Grooming alert!!!!
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redface: No offence intended...how old is she?
Grooming alert!!!!
happy001 happy001
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redface: No offence intended...how old is she?
Grooming alert!!!!
Miss D is too old to groom... ;)
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This just keeps getting better sad32:
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redface: No offence intended...how old is she?
Shaving alert!!!!
Miss D is too old to groom... ;)
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drumroll:
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No offence taken - muppet lol:
She is not quite legal yet lol:
How old does she look?
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Much older evil:
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Much older evil:
Family trait............... whistle:
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Are you in recovery mode ? lol:
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Smooth............. sick2:
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Much older evil:
Family trait............... whistle:
Absolutely ....pensioners often give up their seats for me sad24:
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Are you in recovery mode ? lol:
Not yet...ask me in the morning when you bring me breakfast...
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Are you in recovery mode ? lol:
Not yet...ask me in the morning when you bring me breakfast...
eyes:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fzipline.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F03%2Fsnake-in-the-grass.jpg&hash=cc993dd56ed49f08025ed74abe93692c36a7613b)
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Are you in recovery mode ? lol:
Not yet...ask me in the morning when you bring me breakfast...
Prolly the only oats you'll get lol:
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I have quickly removed two posts ackchooally
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Very prompt lol:
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Very prompt lol:
Not a good sign ......... whistle:
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Much older evil:
Is she as pretty as her Mum? angel1
Are you in recovery mode ? lol:
Not yet...ask me in the morning when you bring me breakfast...
eyes:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fzipline.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F03%2Fsnake-in-the-grass.jpg&hash=cc993dd56ed49f08025ed74abe93692c36a7613b)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOPDqRQI5qI
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I expect Miss D will have missed Mondays edition.
Sausage trifle!
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Sausage trifle noooo:
What the feck was in that ? , apart from sausages obviously lol:
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Sausage trifle noooo:
What the feck was in that ? , apart from sausages obviously lol:
This gerl goes way beyond ditzy.
She did the jelly and custard (tinned) and then poured them over the sponge and sausages.
Mind you, the others have not exactly been woderful.
Definitely one to watch.
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I could make a sausage trifle for Growler, like rubschin:
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It's been a while since I've watched any of these. Tonight's episode on More4 had the most bizarre serving suggestion ever. None of that slice of tomato and sprig of parsley for this fella... oh no, goes to the trouble of making his own sushi, then serves it off the chest of a young lad sprawled across the table in his boxer shorts whacky115
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs10.postimage.org%2Fbwddvyonp%2Fsushi.jpg&hash=c9adc32618068f3aa392359090301d857f6edea2) (http://postimage.org/image/bwddvyonp/)
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I'd have to have the meat option then lol:
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It's been a while since I've watched any of these. Tonight's episode on More4 had the most bizarre serving suggestion ever. None of that slice of tomato and sprig of parsley for this fella... oh no, goes to the trouble of making his own sushi, then serves it off the chest of a young lad sprawled across the table in his boxer shorts whacky115
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs10.postimage.org%2Fbwddvyonp%2Fsushi.jpg&hash=c9adc32618068f3aa392359090301d857f6edea2) (http://postimage.org/image/bwddvyonp/)
Seen that one ...what a knob (No pun )......... noooo:
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I'd have to have the meat option then lol:
Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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There are some serious double standards that operate in this place noooo: .....I get whacked for just a merest hint of innuendo whistle: ....whilst you lot can be as explicit as you want rubschin:
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I agree Miss D, these boys noooo:
Oh, and by coincidence, the night before, they had pork in cider
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doh:
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More4 were showing CDWM tonight. The show with Kieran Bracken, Martin Offiah, Victor Ubogu and Gareth Chilcott was some of the best comedy I've seen in a while. Gareth Chilcott should be on stage, perfect timing ;D
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What an annoying bunch of tossers tonights are cussing: Channel 4 +1 in five minutes if you've got it :thumbsup:
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thats not a nice thing to say about the VP members... noooo:
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I've seen worserer ;)
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too true.
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eeek: Susie!
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Just watching last nights offering. Dessert was Birds trifle noooo:
And he f****d up the custard happy001
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Can't stand the up her arse 'model' ::)
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Can't stand the up her arse 'model' ::)
A most accurate description :thumbsup:
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2443605/Come-Dine-With-Me-contestant-Dawn-Barry-dies-battle-alcoholism.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2443605/Come-Dine-With-Me-contestant-Dawn-Barry-dies-battle-alcoholism.html)
eeek:
Never picked her as my joker...... redface:
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The ex-pats here are trying to start up an un-televised version ...shall I put BM's name forward ......... rubschin:
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We would need a sarcastic blow by blow account of the whole disaster if you do.... Thumbs:
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We would need a sarcastic blow by blow account of the whole disaster if you do.... Thumbs:
Thumbs:
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Wouldn't that be Come BBQ Me?
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Wouldn't that be Come BBQ Me?
Cremate Brulee you say... rubschin:
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lol:
BM Flambé
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evil:
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angel1