The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on March 18, 2009, 06:47:14 PM

Title: Sick Notes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 18, 2009, 06:47:14 PM: A resource for all VP members who need an original idea for a day off work

"*cough* I can't come into work today. I have Ebola. I'll be in tomorrow

I fractured my uterus

Blue flu

I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today

When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I sprained my wrist cooking dinner in the microwave last nite

I won't be in today....my hair wont start

The blankets were too heavy for me to lift so I was stuck in bed all day
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Barman on March 19, 2009, 05:40:38 AM: Those voices can be a bugger at times.... surrender:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 09:04:36 AM: I like my voices, I am never alone. cloud9:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 19, 2009, 12:41:19 PM: Quote from: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 09:04:36 AM
I like my voices, I am never alone. cloud9:

"We are never alone"
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Nick on March 19, 2009, 12:42:37 PM: You have the same problem? WHat do yours tell you?
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 19, 2009, 12:45:28 PM: Quote from: Nick on March 19, 2009, 12:42:37 PM
You have the same problem? WHat do yours tell you?

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.seriouswheels.com%2Fimages%2Fa_1954_Sunbeam_Talbot_Alpine.jpg&hash=0a38f1f624bdd6f6aca9aa18ff5d0cea0e960954)
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 12:59:53 PM: Quote from: Nick on March 19, 2009, 12:42:37 PM
You have the same problem? WHat do yours tell you?

Depends on the day. Today they are saying that BM is a bastard and that I should go in the sunshine and frolic and that some people would really be better off with a pencil stabbed between the eyes.
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 01:23:17 PM: Now we know why your employer will only let you have a wax crayon.
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 01:51:16 PM: Chalk actually.
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 02:20:26 PM: lol: lol: lol:

And one of those soft "roll-up" keyboards?
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 19, 2009, 02:23:33 PM: Quote from: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 02:20:26 PM
lol: lol: lol:

And one of those soft "roll-up" keyboards?

But she can still hit people with those eeek:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 02:44:21 PM: Not unless they unlock the door I can't!
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 19, 2009, 02:46:46 PM: what about when you have your daily constitutional rubschin:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 02:48:19 PM: (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ilmfruits.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fbucket.jpg&hash=f63df3374cd049ccd7854da49abdab689b16a18b)
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 02:49:34 PM: http://www.shewee.com/

I use one of these and I empty it out of the window.
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 02:51:36 PM: I was thinking more Number Twos whistle:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 03:13:18 PM: I only do those at home redface:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 19, 2009, 03:48:17 PM: Quote from: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 03:13:18 PM
I only do those at home redface:

So MILFH is not the only reason you are uncomfortable on trips to the valleys?
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 04:39:13 PM: Perhaps I should be more clear. I prefer to only do number twos in houses, not places of work or public areas. redface:

Why am I bothering you lot with this. noooo:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 04:45:47 PM: I have no idea ~ you tell us. whistle:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 04:47:07 PM: Coz I'm a numpty. noooo:
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Snoopy on March 19, 2009, 04:53:23 PM: happy100

Sorry ~ I feel I have taken ~~advantage of your vulnerability~~ the p*ss.
Title: Re: Sick Notes
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 20, 2009, 12:55:04 PM: Quote from: Bar Wench on March 19, 2009, 04:47:07 PM
Coz I'm a numpty. noooo:

So are lots of other nice people. ;D