The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on March 18, 2009, 10:51:18 AM
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1. Banned from watching TV
2. Banned from computers
3. Banned from playing at GF's house
4. Threatened with slow and painful death
As Wenchy say, what's left?
SUggestions please
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Spending more time with you whistle:
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evil:
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You've found in the past that it is almost impossible to impose these punishments - he is too smart for you... whistle:
How bout something like washing up, washing the cars, sweeping up the garden or some such?
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Well I know that this is very effective with The Brat - she hates spending time away from her friends Shrugs:
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He already has household duties. He enjoys hoovering and car washing confused:
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Cut off his pocket money
No out of school activities that involve socialising
Chores
Door off room
Scrub the patio with a toothbrush.
None of it has to necessarily tie with the crime it sometimes just needs to be hard labour that takes time away from him. I spent one memorable week scrubbing the grouting in all the bathrooms, that was for making an "obscene gesture".
For instance for the last incident, I'd have been doing chores to pay back what I'd spent including a multiple for the crime itself. I'd also have had my door removed as I had proven myself untrustworthy and who knows what I could get up to behind closed doors.
Basically takeaway anything he enjoys doing. And let him earn it back as he proves himself to be trustworthy. My buttons were never tv or the computer, they were my privacy, money and socialsing. For my brother it was tv and money. Hit him where it hurts.
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I see Wench is a stern disciplinarian scared2:
He doesn't get pocket money, his bedroom door is wedged open. His only social activity at present is swimming.
WHat sort of 'obscene gesture' btw? rubschin:
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It was a raised middle finger. When my Dad retired he took over the discipline ropes. Worst thing that ever happened to our family he was beyond strict.
Then he stops swimming. What else does he enjoy doing? Brother Wench and I were also stopped from extra curricular punishments at times. He wasn't allowed to go to tennis lessons. I was allowed to go to the stables to muck out my horse but wasn't allowed to ride. I also wasn't allowed to speak to anyone when I was there. My Dad used to take a book and sit in the doorway.
What does he do that he enjoys doing? My Dad at one point had my Brother sitting in a room devoid of all entertainment. He just had to sit there. He was allowed out to eat his meals in the kitchen and then was sent back to his room for silent contemplation. That lasted a weekend with a grounding for three weeks. That was for sneaking out.
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rubschin:
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No one was allowed to speak to him either unless it was an instruction. That was a horrid punishment actually. I had it for an evening once. Really really dull. Worse than the grout scrubbing as at least you were allowed music on for that.
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Blimey
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It worked though. Brother Wench never sneaked out again. Just depends on how harsh you want to be.
Taking away tv/computer privileges is amateur hour! lol:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_zs3J1YS4LLc%2FSE8Zrc_QscI%2FAAAAAAAAAHE%2Fam1e4dNBCL4%2Fs400%2FThe%2BMan%2Bin%2Bthe%2BIron%2BMask.jpg&hash=0451d381e7c5df9e4f3df9ecdaf8b97d85bb9467)
whistle:
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Ohhh on one occassion I also had all my books taken away. I was only allowed to read school work stuff, no reading for pleasure. That was possibly the worst one ever for me. That might work on The Boy!
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I find myself drawn in the direction of agonising torture for some reason. Medieval stuff! evil:
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It was a raised middle finger. When my Dad retired he took over the discipline ropes. Worst thing that ever happened to our family he was beyond strict.
Then he stops swimming. What else does he enjoy doing? Brother Wench and I were also stopped from extra curricular punishments at times. He wasn't allowed to go to tennis lessons. I was allowed to go to the stables to muck out my horse but wasn't allowed to ride. I also wasn't allowed to speak to anyone when I was there. My Dad used to take a book and sit in the doorway.
What does he do that he enjoys doing? My Dad at one point had my Brother sitting in a room devoid of all entertainment. He just had to sit there. He was allowed out to eat his meals in the kitchen and then was sent back to his room for silent contemplation. That lasted a weekend with a grounding for three weeks. That was for sneaking out.
It is a miracle you turned out so well-balanced and sensible. scared2:
scared:
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I find myself drawn in the direction of agonising torture for some reason. Medieval stuff! evil:
Yes but realistically that isn't an option where as mental torture and hard labour is legally permisable!
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It was a raised middle finger. When my Dad retired he took over the discipline ropes. Worst thing that ever happened to our family he was beyond strict.
Then he stops swimming. What else does he enjoy doing? Brother Wench and I were also stopped from extra curricular punishments at times. He wasn't allowed to go to tennis lessons. I was allowed to go to the stables to muck out my horse but wasn't allowed to ride. I also wasn't allowed to speak to anyone when I was there. My Dad used to take a book and sit in the doorway.
What does he do that he enjoys doing? My Dad at one point had my Brother sitting in a room devoid of all entertainment. He just had to sit there. He was allowed out to eat his meals in the kitchen and then was sent back to his room for silent contemplation. That lasted a weekend with a grounding for three weeks. That was for sneaking out.
It is a miracle you turned out so well-balanced and sensible. scared2:
scared:
Considering what some of our friends got up to Brother Wench and I were angels by comparission even before the punishments. My Dad was an utter bastard at times. Things that seem to get a raised eyebrow from Nick would be a full scale punishment in our house. noooo:
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How about the idiot that left his credit card next to a working computer in the same room as an unoccupied and curious child being the one who needs a lesson? whistle:
As for The Boy ~ It's not the first time and won't be the last unless you take care to ensure that temptation is removed. In your shoes I would count myself lucky that unending supplies of pizza deliveries and the like aren't turning up. Obviously he should receive the standard Class A lecture on theft (which is what using your credit card effectively is) but other than that he did what most boys who are being banned from this that or the other for various infringements of, as he sees it, unreasonable rules would do given the opportunity. The THW, at about the age of 10, removed £100 from my jeans pocket, left in the bedroom whilst I was in the bath. When finally caught her explanation was: "To teach you a lesson because you took (some "privilege" or other) away from me two weeks ago" I forget what privilege or what she had actually done to be punished for but in her world I had been unjust and she was damned if I would be allowed to get away with it.
BTW £90 was recovered and she was very, very chocolate sick2: that night so we deduced a £10 choccy binge. I figure we ended up even.
What I am trying to say is that kids have a curious moral code about such things and you need to find out motives and reasoning. That will take time and patience. Telling Mrs Nick may not be a good idea (prolly too late to suggest this) but sometimes secrets shared "between us men" are no bad idea as it fosters a feeling of being "growed up" ~ for both of you.
E.G. ~ Nick (Whilst ensuring sensible but covert security measures are followed in future) "Boy ~ you have done wrong but you now know that it was wrong, have apologised and I am going to trust you not to do such a thing again ~ we'll say no more about it this time, no need to mention it to your mother but do anything like this again and I will punish you as you have never been punished etc."
Just my opinion but you did ask.
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How about the idiot that left his credit card next to a working computer in the same room as an unoccupied and curious child being the one who needs a lesson? whistle:
As for The Boy ~ It's not the first time and won't be the last unless you take care to ensure that temptation is removed. In your shoes I would count myself lucky that unending supplies of pizza deliveries and the like aren't turning up. Obviously he should receive the standard Class A lecture on theft (which is what using your credit card effectively is) but other than that he did what most boys who are being banned from this that or the other for various infringements of, as he sees it, unreasonable rules would do given the opportunity. The THW, at about the age of 10, removed £100 from my jeans pocket, left in the bedroom whilst I was in the bath. When finally caught her explanation was: "To teach you a lesson because you took (some "privilege" or other) away from me two weeks ago" I forget what privilege or what she had actually done to be punished for but in her world I had been unjust and she was damned if I would be allowed to get away with it.
BTW £90 was recovered and she was very, very chocolate sick2: that night so we deduced a £10 choccy binge. I figure we ended up even.
What I am trying to say is that kids have a curious moral code about such things and you need to find out motives and reasoning. That will take time and patience. Telling Mrs Nick may not be a good idea (prolly too late to suggest this) but sometimes secrets shared "between us men" are no bad idea as it fosters a feeling of being "growed up" ~ for both of you.
E.G. ~ Nick (Whilst ensuring sensible but covert security measures are followed in future) "Boy ~ you have done wrong but you now know that it was wrong, have apologised and I am going to trust you not to do such a thing again ~ we'll say no more about it this time, no need to mention it to your mother but do anything like this again and I will punish you as you have never been punished etc."
Just my opinion but you did ask.
I have also employed these tactics with some success.
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How about the idiot that left his credit card next to a working computer in the same room as an unoccupied and curious child being the one who needs a lesson? whistle:
As for The Boy ~ It's not the first time and won't be the last unless you take care to ensure that temptation is removed. In your shoes I would count myself lucky that unending supplies of pizza deliveries and the like aren't turning up. Obviously he should receive the standard Class A lecture on theft (which is what using your credit card effectively is) but other than that he did what most boys who are being banned from this that or the other for various infringements of, as he sees it, unreasonable rules would do given the opportunity. The THW, at about the age of 10, removed £100 from my jeans pocket, left in the bedroom whilst I was in the bath. When finally caught her explanation was: "To teach you a lesson because you took (some "privilege" or other) away from me two weeks ago" I forget what privilege or what she had actually done to be punished for but in her world I had been unjust and she was damned if I would be allowed to get away with it.
BTW £90 was recovered and she was very, very chocolate sick2: that night so we deduced a £10 choccy binge. I figure we ended up even.
What I am trying to say is that kids have a curious moral code about such things and you need to find out motives and reasoning. That will take time and patience. Telling Mrs Nick may not be a good idea (prolly too late to suggest this) but sometimes secrets shared "between us men" are no bad idea as it fosters a feeling of being "growed up" ~ for both of you.
E.G. ~ Nick (Whilst ensuring sensible but covert security measures are followed in future) "Boy ~ you have done wrong but you now know that it was wrong, have apologised and I am going to trust you not to do such a thing again ~ we'll say no more about it this time, no need to mention it to your mother but do anything like this again and I will punish you as you have never been punished etc."
Just my opinion but you did ask.
All good points that my Dad could have learned from!
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My brother was a little nightmare when we were younger. Today he is just a bigger, louder nightmare eeek:
However when he was about 10 mum caught him 'retrieving' some money from her purse. Unfortunately for him one of our neighbours was a policeman and the station was only aorund the corner.
She went out the room made a call then frog marched him to the police station. The neighbour gave him a lecture about what happens when he steals , pretended to write down the details of what he'd done then put him in a cell for 10 minutes whilst he was just going to speak to 'The Judge'.
He was absolutely terrifed. I absolutely loved it and teased him mercilessly afterwards, told all his mates and made a fake Wanted Poster ( we used to fight and awful lot - but it was never my fault of course as I was perfect angel1)
Course it couldn't happen now rubschin:
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Something similar happened to Alfred Hitchcock. And look how he turned out!
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Something similar happened to Alfred Hitchcock. And look how he turned out!
Dead...? rubschin:
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Something similar happened to Alfred Hitchcock. And look how he turned out!
shrugs:
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A warning shot to the head often has the desired effect
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I'm sure I'm going to regret asking but what has the boy done now? scared2:
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I'm sure I'm going to regret asking but what has the boy done now? scared2:
Read all the posts and find out you lazy sod... noooo:
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I'm sure I'm going to regret asking but what has the boy done now? scared2:
Illicit use of MY credit card online!!
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Something tells me I don't even need to read the other posts to know the answer to my next question. You left your card lying around didnt you?
Something you could try, which seemed to work for a mate, is to come up with the average amount you spend on them at christmas and put it on a board for them to see. Then each time they misbehave, deduct an amount in proportion to what they have done illustrating what that amount could have bought.
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I quite like that idea, but I think he might get the better of me somehow rubschin:
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Since your specialisation is English it is likely he is better than you at sums point:
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Since your specialisation is English it is likely he is better than you at sums point:
lol: lol: lol:
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He is redface:
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I'd suggest putting a spreadsheet on the computer to calculate it but something tells me it would be hacked before long... whistle:
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Put him up for auction on ebay. eveilgrin:
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Prolly a little late for you old boy but research just released suggests that parents should try harder to find out what their children are doing on t'interweb... whistle:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7948187.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7948187.stm)
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Prolly a little late for you old boy but research just released suggests that parents should try harder to find out what their children are doing on t'interweb... whistle:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7948187.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7948187.stm)
The last paragraph leaves me a tad puzzled:
The survey found that, in many cases, the net is helping to cement the social ties within a family. One-third of the UK children in the survey said they had befriended their parents on a social networking site.
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What about the statement is a puzzle?
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Given that a great many children live with only one parent and they use the social network to keep in touch with the other parent then it makes some sense to me. Perhaps not an ideal scenario but what is these days?
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Surely children and their parents are already friends rubschin:
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I'm not sure, given a choice, I would even want to know my kids, certainly not socially ~ only joking!!!!
No ~ I seriously doubt that some parents are friends with their children and in the case of an absent parent perhaps the social network does provide a bridge. Particularly when there is animosity between the parents. One of my granddaughters keeps in touch with her father mainly by email. Mind she thinks he's a tosser anyway but that's another story.
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I'm a great believer in that the internet is great thing for families. Internet, social networking, blogging etc. All of it helps to keep in touch with people with much greater ease than normal. Brother Wench and I email most days where as if it were left to phonecalls we would speak once every couple of months if that. Mother Wench is fully up to speed with things and uses facebook/blogs etc to keep up with pictures etc of the extended family all of whom are on facebook.
Mr Wench actually recomends to parents that they friend their children on networking sites. Far easier to see what they and their friends are up to. Also children are more likely to unburden themselves via written communication rather than a face to face. He often has kids tell him things via his school email that they wouldn't dream of saying in a classroom enivornment. Same goes for kids and parents.
I think it's all a good thing.
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As long as it doesn't involve credit cards evil:
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Maybe you're right Wenchy but to me 'befriend' is to make friends with some one you didn't know before. The word has been hijacked.
This whole business of becoming somebody's 'friend' on a social network site bemuses me. For example, there are some 'celebrities' with thousands of so called friends ~ what's that all about?
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Ahhh so it is more about the changing status of the word. I agree with you on that! I always use friend in that sense with air "" it is ludicrous.
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evil: I hate Air "" cussing:
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evil: I hate Air "" cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.getreligion.org%2Fwp-content%2Fphotos%2F2008%2F12%2Fair_quotes.jpg&hash=20241100ae46b619b6b48587d23ba9c1b6934c38)
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evil: I hate Air "" cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.getreligion.org%2Fwp-content%2Fphotos%2F2008%2F12%2Fair_quotes.jpg&hash=20241100ae46b619b6b48587d23ba9c1b6934c38)
Exactly evil:
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I use them lots! cloud9:
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noooo: Soooooooooooooooooooo wrong.
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evil: I hate Air "" cussing:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.getreligion.org%2Fwp-content%2Fphotos%2F2008%2F12%2Fair_quotes.jpg&hash=20241100ae46b619b6b48587d23ba9c1b6934c38)
Exactly evil:
Thanks must go to BM for demonstrating the gesture for our benefit.. whistle: