The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Medical Centre => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on March 17, 2009, 10:52:28 AM
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I am going to the doctor. Since Thursday night I have had the most unbelievable abominal pains - which are a lot worse at night and seem to ease during the day. Last night was awful - every twenty minutes these fierce pains start and last for about 5 minutes. I went to sleep at 1am and got up at 3am as the pain was so bad. Temporary relief occurs when on the bog, but it doesn't last long. So, net doctors, what is it?
IBS?
Gastroenterthingy?
An ulcer?
A reaction to Young's?!
Not good noooo:
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Sounds like Young's poisoning deffo. A bad case too. noooo:
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Ectopic pregnancy rubschin:
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You should add a poll, like. It would make this thread more scientific!!
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Let the quack decide.....pronto.
No good us lot guessing and scaring the shit out of you, only having a damned good dump might actually help.
Keep off the Youngs for a day or two, and get a few gallons of wholesome water down yer gullet to flush the system out like. Boring, but it might just help.
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Sounds very serious to me.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick013.gif&hash=1c62f25f8bcc8ac2a4f6473a589fdff5660e754f) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
On a brighter note tho, it'll be our first pub funeral... cloud9:
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Does he count for the Bingo, like?
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Does he count for the Bingo, like?
rubschin:
We'd have to send him off to The Times like... how old is he...?
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Sounds very serious to me.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick013.gif&hash=1c62f25f8bcc8ac2a4f6473a589fdff5660e754f) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
On a brighter note tho, it'll be our first pub funeral... cloud9:
If I don't beat him to it. ::)
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The Pub could do a proper wake, like. WIth food and free beer
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The Pub could do a proper wake, like. WIth food and free beer
....and a BIG cake in memory of me like. cloud9:
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Sounds very serious to me.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick013.gif&hash=1c62f25f8bcc8ac2a4f6473a589fdff5660e754f) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
On a brighter note tho, it'll be our first pub funeral... cloud9:
If I don't beat him to it. ::)
A double funeral! eeek:
Christ, if one of you was 35 and the other 47 I'd be happy as a pig in shit like... cloud9:
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With black icing. I could get the Boy to do that. Just normal icing, like, but without washing his hands first
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Sounds very serious to me.... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick013.gif&hash=1c62f25f8bcc8ac2a4f6473a589fdff5660e754f) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
On a brighter note tho, it'll be our first pub funeral... cloud9:
If I don't beat him to it. ::)
A double funeral! eeek:
Christ, if one of you was 35 and the other 47 I'd be happy as a pig in shit like... cloud9:
Sweet. Didn't know you cared so much. ::)
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With black icing. I could get the Boy to do that. Just normal icing, like, but without washing his hands first
Yes, black icing for sure... happy088
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I am going to the doctor. Since Thursday night I have had the most unbelievable abominal pains - which are a lot worse at night and seem to ease during the day. Last night was awful - every twenty minutes these fierce pains start and last for about 5 minutes. I went to sleep at 1am and got up at 3am as the pain was so bad. Temporary relief occurs when on the bog, but it doesn't last long. So, net doctors, what is it?
IBS?
Gastroenterthingy?
An ulcer?
A reaction to Young's?!
Not good noooo:
Certainly gastric of some description. That is what my tummy is like if I have dairy. Sadly the doctor is probably likely to suggest some sort of elimination diet.
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Don't you just hate elimination diets eeek:
Thats probably been where i've been going wrong lol: lol: lol:
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It's most likely just him sitting on his convalescent plums.
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It's most likely just him sitting on his convalescent plums.
Or Mrs. TMR (to be) squeezing them and then pretending to be asleep... whistle:
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Or some frightful post-operative infection Popcorn:
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Is there an oil blockage perhaps rubschin:
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Or some frightful post-operative infection Popcorn:
That could be it all right... how old is he...? rubschin:
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It's most likely just him sitting on his convalescent plums.
Or Mrs. TMR (to be) squeezing them and then pretending to be asleep... whistle:
Is that what LL does? Bad LL noooo:
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It's most likely just him sitting on his convalescent plums.
Or Mrs. TMR (to be) squeezing them and then pretending to be asleep... whistle:
Is that what LL does? Bad LL noooo:
I thought LL kept them in a jar in the fridge?
Miss D can bring us back a picture if her camera has a 'macro' option.
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
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Anyhooo... ::)
He's gone very quiet... should we start The Boy on the black cake like...? rubschin:
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nativewoodland.eu%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FMisc%2520Pics%2FMotorcycle_Hearse.jpg&hash=820c74373e3485a6e7918bad662d5a3911d076c4)
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nativewoodland.eu%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FMisc%2520Pics%2FMotorcycle_Hearse.jpg&hash=820c74373e3485a6e7918bad662d5a3911d076c4)
Oh, he would have loved that! razz:
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Thank you all for your kind words 8)
My female doctor's first words to me were "How are your balls now, TMR" eeek:
We then had an in-depth discussion about the problem, my movements etc. and then she had a listen on the stethoscope. "Blimey, sounds like World War III down there!" Questions about any dodgy seafood etc. (none) and then prescribed two things - one to kill the infection and one to stop the massive, agonising cramps"
"Must I stop drinking the Young's, doctor? scared2:".
"Yes...it's St. Patrick's day, so you must drink Guinness today."
Gotta luv that doctor happy088
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nativewoodland.eu%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FMisc%2520Pics%2FMotorcycle_Hearse.jpg&hash=820c74373e3485a6e7918bad662d5a3911d076c4)
Oh, he would have loved that! razz:
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Good grief is he dead already?
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nativewoodland.eu%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FMisc%2520Pics%2FMotorcycle_Hearse.jpg&hash=820c74373e3485a6e7918bad662d5a3911d076c4)
Oh, he would have loved that! razz:
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Good grief is he dead already?
Apparently not... noooo:
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My money would have been on Norovirus... or in TMR's case Nortonvirus
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My money would have been on Norovirus... or in TMR's case Nortonvirus
lol: lol: I have your hat and coat, the door is over there, for heavens sake don't slam it otherwise Miss D will be on your case.
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I thang you! ;)
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You are more than welcome but hang onto your case Miss D will be wanting to pack soon....
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I wouldn't steal Pastis's cases - he lives too close scared2:
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she had a listen on the stethoscope. "Blimey, sounds like World War III down there!" Questions about any dodgy seafood etc. (
Proof that even the Doctor says Seafood is bad for you 8)
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I wouldn't steal Pastis's cases - he lives too close scared2:
Rumour has it he also has some fairly dodgy friends eeek:
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I don't think I have the right equipment noooo:
Neither does BM
lol: lol: Can I do the flower arrangements? I hate chrysanthemums so will find plenty of them whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nativewoodland.eu%2Fuploads%2Fimages%2FMisc%2520Pics%2FMotorcycle_Hearse.jpg&hash=820c74373e3485a6e7918bad662d5a3911d076c4)
Unfortunately I don't think Mrs TMR (to be) knows how to handle a Trumpet (yet).
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She handled my Trumpet just fine last night, Tel 8)
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She handled my Trumpet just fine last night, Tel 8)
How old are you like... just in case...? whistle:
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40. With a full head of hair whistle:
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40. With a full head of hair whistle:
Bah!
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She handled my Trumpet just fine last night, Tel 8)
That must have seemed like the ended of a perfect day after after Youngs at £2 a pint> razz:
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He prolly can't remember noooo:
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She handled my Trumpet just fine last night, Tel 8)
But you're blowing your own trumpet now! point:
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Not with his stomach noooo:
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Gastroenteritis is not a laughing matter! :-(
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Gastroenteritis is not a laughing matter! :-(
Well not for you... whistle:
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or anyone in his vicinity, ;)
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or anyone in his vicinity, ;)
Indeed... lol:
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He may get to be an astronaut yet! One curry.......
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And to think - he asked for this advice noooo:
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We are here to help angel1
Sound like his trumpet's OK, allegedly, like spider:
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The tablets are working cloud9:
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Also get down the nutty health food store and pick up some acidophilus or some probiotic yogourt from the supermarket. If you've had extended stomach issues the bacteria will be either gone or badly depleted and this can cause a drop in your immune system leading to you picking up every bug in the area. Three/four weeks of the tablets or the actimel should put you back in tip top condition.
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Also get down the nutty health food store and pick up some acidophilus or some probiotic yogourt from the supermarket. If you've had extended stomach issues the bacteria will be either gone or badly depleted and this can cause a drop in your immune system leading to you picking up every bug in the area. Three/four weeks of the tablets or the actimel should put you back in tip top condition.
Or alternatively have a few pints of Youngs! happy088
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Will it make his coat glossy too?
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Nope that is generally fish oil sick2: and vitamin B
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
Quite alright, you don't want to end up like I did with never ending colds and coughs for years on end. noooo:
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
Somebody has to.
Take care, a messed up digestive tract is for life, not just for Xmas. noooo:
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
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That is a good idea. Off you go then, like, and make us one
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That is a good idea. Off you go then, like, and make us one
Watch out, you will be the first one sectioned.
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That is a good idea. Off you go then, like, and make us one
I can't be arsed... I won't use it anyway... Like the Sports Bar really.... noooo:
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting, showers, paint pods, i pods, and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'av a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
Somebody has to.
Take care, a messed up digestive tract is for life, not just for Xmas. noooo:
It's true!! It's taken me 18 months to get mine back to something approaching normality!
I too have no interest in paint pods, diy or the sodding sports section, or the car section!
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
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So, let's make a list!
Rashes
Spots and stuff
Snot in general
Broken limbs
Vomit related
Hair loss
Allergies
Hair loss
Operations
Hangovers
Wimmin's problems
Tons more, I bet
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
Somebody has to.
Take care, a messed up digestive tract is for life, not just for Xmas. noooo:
It's true!! It's taken me 18 months to get mine back to something approaching normality!
I too have no interest in paint pods, diy or the sodding sports section, or the car section!
Well you're odd too then. Banghead
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So, let's make a list!
Rashes
Spots and stuff
Snot in general
Broken limbs
Vomit related
Hair loss
Allergies
Hair loss
Operations
Hangovers
Wimmin's problems
Tons more, I bet
You seem to have omitted Mental Problems. . . rubschin:
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Thanks for the sensible advice, Wenchy.
Somebody has to.
Take care, a messed up digestive tract is for life, not just for Xmas. noooo:
It's true!! It's taken me 18 months to get mine back to something approaching normality!
I too have no interest in paint pods, diy or the sodding sports section, or the car section!
A knitting room. That'd please some from somewhere else. ::)
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
No. See the title. ::)
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
No. See the title. ::)
Yes. See the title. MEDICAL CENTER. Sore 'ed and shins comes under MED... I... CAL. OK?
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We already knew I was odd! cloud9:
Surely mental problems are more general if we confined those to one area the others would die!
A knitting room you say. rubschin:
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We already knew I was odd! cloud9:
Surely mental problems are more general if we confined those to one area the others would die!
A knitting room you say. rubschin:
I was being fasicious faseeshus sarcy. ::)
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
No. See the title. ::)
Yes. See the title. MEDICAL CENTER. Sore 'ed and shins comes under MED... I... CAL. OK?
Not DIY injuries... noooo:
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We already knew I was odd! cloud9:
Surely mental problems are more general if we confined those to one area the others would die!
A knitting room you say. rubschin:
I was being fasicious faseeshus sarcy. ::)
lol: lol:
She will sad32: now.
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
No. See the title. ::)
Yes. See the title. MEDICAL CENTER. Sore 'ed and shins comes under MED... I... CAL. OK?
Not DIY injuries... noooo:
Like bits stuck in vacuum cleaners and such?
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This is boring... sleep017
We'll be having a 'medical' section next.... noooo:
No it isn't. All you wanna talk about is bloody painting showers paint pods i pods and friggin' sting/X/ or some other randomy bloody rays shite.
SOME of us do 'ava a life beyond all that twoddle you know. ::)
I'll start one then...
You can call compare festering sores and pustulating boils... noooo:
...and you can snarl about yer 'ed and shins following your latest accident, yes? whistle:
No. See the title. ::)
Yes. See the title. MEDICAL CENTER. Sore 'ed and shins comes under MED... I... CAL. OK?
Not DIY injuries... noooo:
Like bits stuck in vacuum cleaners and such?
Sexual perversions yes... DIY related injuries, falling off ladders etc. elsewhere....
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I'm wondering if it was undercooked fish? sick2:
WARNING - NOT FOR THE FEINT HEARTED
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0aVDiF682Q
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I'm not clicking that... noooo:
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I did sick2:
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I did sick2:
point:
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I have ben poorly too.. a very serious case of dandruff, when a draft comes into the room it is like being in a blizzard, and an ingoing toenail which is terminal sad24:
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Still not good. I wouldn't even wish this on the Pope. evil:
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Try an Underberg