The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on March 10, 2009, 11:28:17 AM
-
evil:
Right. ON Tuesday mornings I have to take the Boy to Birkenhead for an hour (medical stuff). I hate Birkenhead. Horrid place. The bit he goes to is quite pleasant - a sort of enclave of civilisation called Oxton. Nice houses, nice village centre with nice shops and restaurants. Pricey. Bit like Hampstead, for those who know Hampstead.
Here: http://www.oxtonvillage.com/ (http://tp://www.oxtonvillage.com/)
Having time to kill today I wandered about and went into one of the 2 excellent old fashioned local butchers cloud9: in search of Dinner Tonight. One guy had venison sausages. Home made. I bought them. No carrier bag so I put them in the very large inside poacher's pocket of my old Barbour and wandered on.
Oh look. A cute, wriggly Border Collie puppy tied up outside the baker's cloud9:. I like dogs evil: I made its acquaintance. Dogs like me. This one REALLY liked me.
It suddenly dived in its entirety into my poacher's pocket in the manner of a conjuror's rabbit. It went bonkers in there. I was trying to fish it out when its owner appeared and gave me a look (lady look scared2:). 'What are you doing with my dog?'
'It jumped into my pocket,' I said (unconvincingly. 'I have sausages in there.'
'Well get him out!!!'
Out he came with a maw full of my venison sausage. evil:
I said, 'Well you may as well keep them' and legged it.
I had my heart set on those so I went back to the butcher and said, 'A pound of venison sausage please' (£3.20 a pound ,mark you evil:)
'Sorry, he said, we don't have many and I just sold the lastlot to... to you' rubschin:
'They were eaten by a dog,' I explained.
He tried to look sympathetic, so did the spotty youth. But they failed.
They both pissed themselves.
I left evil:
-
Why on earth would you a pet a puppy when you knew you had sausages about your person! Banghead
-
I had not imagined he would get into my coat with such alacrity evil:
-
Only in Nickworld happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
-
evil:
-
Thanks Nick, l really needed something to laugh at today. lol:
-
evil:
-
I'm still waiting to hear what Growler has to say about spending £20 in sausages! point:
-
£3.20 evil:
Anyway, Tesco are here soon. With my delivery
-
Think youself lucky he didn't go for the chipolata lower down whistle:
-
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
You are thinking of someone else, I believe.
And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?
-
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
You are thinking of someone else, I believe.
And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?
TMR ~ Don't be silly ~ His chipolata and accompanying dangly bits are safely in Mrs Nick's handbag. lol:
-
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
You are thinking of someone else, I believe.
And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?
Why would I want to go to a pub in Ditchling, when I was attending the horse racing at Plumpton? What a strange fellow...
-
evil:
Chatting to Pastis on SUnday evening whistle: we discussed the possibilities of folk being kidnapped in Iran/Libya and the like. Mrs Nick gave me a look. But one should not pay ransom to crazed kidnappers, should one? eveilgrin:
(Manchester to London and then Tripoli: 7.00 a.m Saturday eveilgrin:)
-
evil: evil: evil: evil: evil: evil:
You are thinking of someone else, I believe.
And did you ever find your way to The Bull in Ditchling?
Why would I want to go to a pub in Ditchling, when I was attending the horse racing at Plumpton? What a strange fellow...
It is about 2 miles away and excellent
http://www.thebullditchling.com/index.html (http://www.thebullditchling.com/index.html)
-
I'm still waiting to hear what Growler has to say about spending £20 in sausages! point:
WHERE does it say £20 spent on sausages on this thread, apart from your casual assumption?
Yet another 'wind Growler up' post I guess? ::)
-
Quite so. £3.20 seemed OK, until the puppy incident evil:
-
Quite so. £3.20 seemed OK, until the puppy incident evil:
Well I'm sorry you aren't going to enjoy them now. noooo:
Nowt much can beat a good wholesome home made sausage.
Try Muffs in Bebington.
Oh, you can't now can you. whistle:
-
Unless you bring some here and I give you some cake! eveilgrin:
-
Try Muffs in Bebington.
Is it near the diving shop?
-
Try Muffs in Bebington.
Is it near the diving shop?
We're going over the same old 'jokes' again since this shop was least mentioned I see. ::)
-
Try Muffs in Bebington.
Is it near the diving shop?
We're going over the same old 'jokes' again since this shop was least mentioned I see. ::)
You expect me to remember that far back?
Like the goldfish and the castle, every day is new and fresh to me. ;D
-
Muffs: get your sausages in here
-
I'm still waiting to hear what Growler has to say about spending £20 in sausages! point:
WHERE does it say £20 spent on sausages on this thread, apart from your casual assumption?
Yet another 'wind Growler up' post I guess? ::)
No, the first ones were £3.20... eaten by puppy (who was prolly sick after eveilgrin: )...
The £20 is ordering six packs instead of six sausages from Tesco on-line.... whistle:
-
Tesco delivered yesterday without incident, thank you.
And all that orange juice will keep evil:
-
Tesco delivered yesterday without incident, thank you.
And all that orange juice will keep evil:
point:
You were so determined to get the bangers right you've ordered fifty litres of OJ! happy001
-
Chatting to Pastis on SUnday evening whistle: we discussed the possibilities of folk being kidnapped in Iran/Libya and the like. Mrs Nick gave me a look. But one should not pay ransom to crazed kidnappers, should one? eveilgrin:
(Manchester to London and then Tripoli: 7.00 a.m Saturday eveilgrin:)
How long are you being left alone for Nick eeek:
What could possibly go wrong lol:
-
Chatting to Pastis on SUnday evening whistle: we discussed the possibilities of folk being kidnapped in Iran/Libya and the like. Mrs Nick gave me a look. But one should not pay ransom to crazed kidnappers, should one? eveilgrin:
(Manchester to London and then Tripoli: 7.00 a.m Saturday eveilgrin:)
How long are you being left alone for Nick eeek:
What could possibly go wrong lol:
Buy Tesco shares... whistle:
-
Tesco delivered yesterday without incident, thank you.
And all that orange juice will keep evil:
No need to get so touchy old boy, I'm sure Mrs Nick was just lucky to be able to order the shopping from Tesco's online without causing a major disaster this time. It doesnt mean you are the cack handed internet shopper of doom. whistle:
-
Tesco delivered yesterday without incident, thank you.
And all that orange juice will keep evil:
Can't you improvise with Nigella's cake recipe and make some cakes for Growler?
-
Dog feeding Nick said:
I was trying to fish it out when its owner appeared and gave me a look (lady look ). 'What are you doing with my dog?'
'It jumped into my pocket,' I said (unconvincingly. 'I have sausages in there. '
'Well get him out!!!'
Out he came with a maw full of my venison sausage.
I said, 'Well you may as well keep them' and legged it.
Good God man, why did you leg it? There was a compo claim waiting to be had there. Un-muzzled mutt attacks your person while left out of control by the owners casual attitude and total disregard for public safety/last batch of venison sausages.
The multi-million out of court settlement would have seen you right - well into retirement years.
It may also have afforded a new Barbour. I found they needed replacing regularly - the 'newness' only lasted a few days before they went all waxy and farmer-looking, like.
-
Arrrggghhhh! Darwin has his Gamekeeper wear any newly purchased Barbour to avoid looking like a townie when he finally dons it himself.
-
Arrrggghhhh! Darwin has his Gamekeeper wear any newly purchased Barbour to avoid looking like a townie when he finally dons it himself.
Many a true word. . . .
-
I had forgotten about this incident evil:
-
I had forgotten about this incident evil:
point:
-
. . . .
TMR ~ Don't be silly ~ His chipolata and accompanying dangly bits are safely in Mrs Nick's handbag. lol:
happy002 happy002 happy002
-
evil:
-
. . . .
TMR ~ Don't be silly ~ His chipolata and accompanying dangly bits are safely in Mrs Nick's handbag. lol:
happy002 happy002 happy002
happy001 happy001
-
. . . .
TMR ~ Don't be silly ~ His chipolata and accompanying dangly bits are safely in Mrs Nick's handbag. lol:
happy002 happy002 happy002
happy001 happy001
cloud9:
Nostalgia is what it used to be.
-
I just remembered this Banghead Banghead Banghead
-
Is this going to be the start of a new pub tradition, looking back over Nick's greatest cock ups.......? Thumbs:
-
Is this going to be the start of a new pub tradition, looking back over Nick's greatest cock ups.......? Thumbs:
Cocks up. ::)
-
Is this going to be the start of a new pub tradition, looking back over Nick's greatest cock ups.......? Thumbs:
Cocks up. ::)
He's got two? eeek:
-
Is this going to be the start of a new pub tradition, looking back over Nick's greatest cock ups.......? Thumbs:
Cocks up. ::)
He's got two? eeek:
Don't worry Steve, Darwin just forgot to take his medication this morning. noooo:
-
Is this going to be the start of a new pub tradition, looking back over Nick's greatest cock ups.......? Thumbs:
Cocks up. ::)
He's got two? eeek:
Don't worry Steve, Darwin just forgot to take his medication this morning. noooo:
A cock-up by his man obviously