The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Computer Room => Topic started by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 02:56:32 PM

Title: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 02:56:32 PM
 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Phone call from school.

Have I received an email from them?

No  rubschin:

'Interesting', they say

Why?

'Someone has hacked into the school computer network and has been sending out e mails to parents saying the school is shutting for a week.;

Why are you calling me again?

Well, The Boy is the class computer monitor and was spending a lot of time yesterday 'doing things'.

He is presently being interrogated by the Head!! scared2:


Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 06, 2009, 03:00:31 PM
Well at least he was showing initiative 8)

Count yourself lucky he wasn't hacking into the U.S Defence Systems - you may need to call  on the services of your friend the judge after all  eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 03:01:48 PM
Quote
Count yourself lucky he wasn't hacking into the U.S Defence Systems
  eeek:  scared2:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 06, 2009, 03:03:05 PM
Quote
Count yourself lucky he wasn't hacking into the U.S Defence Systems
  eeek:  scared2:
Or the pub!  eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 03:03:37 PM
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 06, 2009, 03:04:11 PM
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Indeed...  scared2:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 03:05:06 PM
Another call from school. He has confessed under interrogation. Punishment is being discussed
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 06, 2009, 03:06:59 PM
He is going to stay at your mates house for the weekend  lol:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 03:10:06 PM
Not a bad idea!  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 06, 2009, 03:40:52 PM
"The Midwich Cuckoos" come to mind.  eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 03:44:36 PM
They are currently making him show them how he did it  surrender:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 04:26:12 PM
No longer computer monitor, but he has exposed a gap in their system. E mail sent to all parents explaining they had been hacked, no names (gossip will do that  redface:). Playtime restrictions for one week  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Pastis on March 06, 2009, 04:33:55 PM
No longer computer monitor, but he has exposed a gap in their system. E mail sent to all parents explaining they had been hacked, no names (gossip will do that  redface:). Playtime restrictions for one week  noooo:

This creativity needs careful guidance  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 06, 2009, 04:46:49 PM
No longer computer monitor, but he has exposed a gap in their system. E mail sent to all parents explaining they had been hacked, no names (gossip will do that  redface:). Playtime restrictions for one week  noooo:

I think he can consider himself quite lucky,  considering  8)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 04:52:36 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 06, 2009, 04:54:03 PM
No longer computer monitor, but he has exposed a gap in their system. E mail sent to all parents explaining they had been hacked, no names (gossip will do that  redface:). Playtime restrictions for one week  noooo:

The Dark Side he may follow if you don't look out.  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2009, 04:54:26 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 07, 2009, 02:14:17 PM
I love that boy ~ he's a bloody genius!  lol:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2009, 02:29:50 PM
I've just had an email from The Boy (part of a large distribution list I might add )  - apparently there are some pictures of Nick that he is prepared to circulate for the cost of a couple of gobstoppers and a new computer game.


Seems reasonable to me  lol:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2009, 02:30:15 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2009, 04:28:32 PM
I've just had an email from The Boy (part of a large distribution list I might add )  - apparently there are some pictures of Nick that he is prepared to circulate for the cost of a couple of gobstoppers and a new computer game.


Seems reasonable to me  lol:
I got the same e-mail...  whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Pastis on March 07, 2009, 04:31:17 PM
Mine went to spam  whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 07, 2009, 04:38:42 PM
I've responded to his email and he's advised me I just need to send the 'payment' to his contacts in Nigeria  eeek:

Apparently something about his home computer is no longer safe to use  Shrugs:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2009, 04:40:49 PM
He told me that if I didn't pay up Mrs. Nick would find out what Nick writes about her on the pub... I haven't replied...  whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 08, 2009, 08:26:00 AM
Just had my first consignment of 'goods' delivered from THE BOY . I was very impressed - it being Sunday and all - but apparently he doesn't see barriers, just challenges  lol: . The staff at DHL he said were very accommodating, after their 'chat'  scared2:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.nothingbutcostumes.com%2Fbmz_cache%2Fb%2Fb4c90a7185f78b841af3b1e4b5e1bcf6.image.250x620.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNGuubYU9-CJeCiRT5NjRuOZU8fGpg&hash=82c348db6205bfdbf88956b40d83bdfb0d860fee)

All I have to do now is ditribute these mobile phones from Nigeria to their chosen 'owners' and I can finally get these pictures of Nick.

THE BOY drives a hard bargain  8)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2009, 10:58:01 AM
He is skilled in the arts of money-making. He can also pick winners at the races  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2009, 02:42:43 PM
He is skilled in the arts of money-making. He can also pick winners at the races  rubschin:
How about the lottery like...? We could have a pub syndicate...  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 08, 2009, 03:19:18 PM
We could be on a winner here ~ TMR and The Boy ~ unbeatable, we'll soon put Ladbrooks out of busniess.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2009, 04:59:12 PM
We are off to his new school tomorrow, to discuss the terms of their surrender, like
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 02:01:31 PM
Just met his class teacher  eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:

also


 eyes:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2009, 02:04:04 PM
 I take it you have a renewed interest in THE BOY'S education  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 09, 2009, 02:04:42 PM
Well that's good because I expect you're be seeing her quite often.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 09, 2009, 02:05:37 PM
Did she "surrender"  eyes: or is it to be a  fence: then ?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2009, 02:06:16 PM
Which is more preferable Snoops  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 09, 2009, 02:11:01 PM
Depends ~ I don't like the surrender to be too easy but on the other hand ~ well I can't do it with my left hand ~ but Nick can. whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 02:49:49 PM
She has luxuriant red hair (not ginger, mind, red). And stiletto heeled boots, and other stuff too  eyes:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 09, 2009, 03:06:08 PM
And some fell upon stony ground  ::)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 09, 2009, 03:08:46 PM
She has luxuriant red hair (not ginger, mind, red). And stiletto heeled boots, and other stuff too  eyes:

They talk about Dad's like you in the staffroom you know. And none of it is complimentary!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:30:32 PM
I was only ogling looking  Shrugs:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2009, 03:35:12 PM
Dribbling, salivating, mumbling, fluttering, flexing ........................................
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:36:10 PM
There may have been some dribble, I admit  surrender:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 09, 2009, 03:45:16 PM
And the obligatory adjustment of the Y Fronts if I know you.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:47:21 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 09, 2009, 03:52:01 PM
And the obligatory adjustment of the Y Fronts if I know you.

Also known as surreptitious wanking by the female staff.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:53:21 PM
So why do lady teachers all dress like they are in a porn film then? (Apart from Mrs Lea, obviously)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 09, 2009, 03:54:50 PM
I honestly think that most men impose their own fantasies onto teachers. They could be wearing velour jogging bottoms and a hoodie and you'd still think she was dressing for her night job.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:56:45 PM
And Mr Wench, is he too the object of suburban female fantasies?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 09, 2009, 03:59:01 PM
He is. It has given him ideas above his station.  noooo:

Last time I went to school I walked in behind some Yummy Mummys who were talking about nibbling on Mr Wench's peachy backside.  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 03:59:55 PM
Quote
nibbling on Mr Wench's peachy backside. 
  eeek:
 
The hussies  eeek:

Did you put them right, like?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2009, 04:01:13 PM
Wearing  boots with a stiletto heel  eeek:

She should be wearing shapeless clothes, never wash her hair nor apply make up and never look you directly in the eye .

What a hussy
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 09, 2009, 04:01:42 PM
They were horrified when they realised who I was.   lol:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2009, 04:02:06 PM
I have to see her again onThursday, but Mrs Nick will be there too  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2009, 04:02:54 PM
They were horrified when they realised who I was.   lol:

Is that when you had your pink moon boots clamped down on their faces in the gravel  whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 10, 2009, 09:37:18 AM
And get blood on my pretty boots!!! Hell no!!!

Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 10, 2009, 02:34:54 PM
She just called for a chat  eyes:

 cloud9:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 10, 2009, 10:09:09 PM
Suggestive of nervousness and needing reassurance ~ prolly caused by your excessive drooling.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 11, 2009, 08:59:15 AM
 sad24:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 11, 2009, 09:08:43 AM
She just called for a chat  eyes:

 cloud9:

See most parents don't consider that a good thing! Mr Wench has spent a week trying to track down one parent!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 11, 2009, 09:12:47 AM
Attractive, is she?  eyes:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 11:14:49 AM
Met the flame haired tart again. The Boy's teacher was there (cleavage, pony tail) and, and, MISS NETBALL KIT  cloud9:

I didn't know which way to turn  eyes:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2009, 11:15:40 AM
How much of a turning circle did you have  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 11:16:07 AM
I positioned myself for maximum viewing pleasure  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2009, 11:17:32 AM
I positioned myself for maximum viewing pleasure  eveilgrin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gardenscure.com%2F420%2Fattachments%2Frecycling%2F33425d1038571697-bubble-hash-101-2in-bucket.jpg&hash=d387b389968e2c8f037aef23f6c2807aeaef66c2)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 12, 2009, 11:42:06 AM
Met the flame haired tart again. The Boy's teacher was there (cleavage, pony tail) and, and, MISS NETBALL KIT  cloud9:

I didn't know which way to turn  eyes:

That reminds me of an old Max Miller joke.  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 11:42:41 AM
Do share!

Lytton Strachey, Edwardian author and famously homosexual, was questioned in 1914 as he tried to get exemption from military service.

They asked him the killer question: 'What would you do if you saw a German soldier trying to rape your sister?'

He replied, ' I would try to get between them.' drumroll:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 12, 2009, 11:44:15 AM
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 11:45:14 AM
DS's dad, perchance?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 12, 2009, 02:45:38 PM
DS's dad, perchance?
evil:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 02:51:10 PM
A compliment, rare her, I admit, but a compliment ::)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 12, 2009, 02:56:13 PM
A compliment, rare her, I admit, but a compliment ::)
My Dad was not blonde or given to naked mountain walking.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2009, 03:14:20 PM
Unlike you then

Perhaps from your mother's side?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Pastis on March 12, 2009, 03:29:11 PM
I was walking along this narrow mountain pass - so narrow that nobody else could pass you, when I saw a beautiful blonde walking towards me. A beautiful blonde with not a stitch on, yes, not a stitch on, lady. Cor blimey, I didn't know whether to toss myself off or block her passage.

That, I believe was the joke that had him banned from the BBC  ;)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 01:38:39 PM
The Boy is playing in the local Music Festival

He is playing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykRZbOb1c5c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykRZbOb1c5c)

 Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 13, 2009, 02:08:20 PM
Does he know anything apart from that? I seem to recall he has been torturing you with that "piece" for nearly a year now.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 02:09:33 PM
He is perfecting it  angry041:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 13, 2009, 02:11:36 PM
 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 02:12:08 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 13, 2009, 02:12:39 PM
 :lalalala ?
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 13, 2009, 02:39:52 PM
When he came here he sat at our ancient upright, which at the time had several keys that didn't work, and belted out a brilliant ragtime version of "She'll be Coming Round the Mountain" much to the dismay of the THW who was mortified that a ten year old could play the piano that she was still picking at scales on with two fingers. I don't think she has touched the thing twice since his visit despite my having paid to have it restored and tuned because she was blaming the condition of the piano for her lack of ability. I blame lack of application to practice ~ so that's more £s wasted on piano tuners and lessons then. evil:

To any parent I recommend that you get your child to learn to play the Church Organ. Not only will they be welcomed with open arms into any community they choose to live in but it has the added benefit that practice cannot be done at home  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 02:41:00 PM
We have our own organ  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 13, 2009, 02:42:53 PM
Most boys do I believe.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 13, 2009, 03:00:21 PM
We have our own organ  eveilgrin:


I did say CHURCH ORGAN. I have seen your organ, very nice too if very very old and rather small  point:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 03:05:06 PM
Pump it and it goes like a train!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 13, 2009, 03:11:36 PM
Straight to the cake shop!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2009, 03:48:58 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 13, 2009, 04:24:34 PM
Straight to the cake shop!

Perhaps that is the reason why Nick's organ is soo dusty? Too many trips to the cake shop.  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2009, 10:29:40 AM
He is in more technological trouble again. Put some credit on his Christmas mobile yesterday. He blew the whole £10 downloading games from the INtermong  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:

He is now going to get Mrs Nick's ancient Nokia brick-phone. He will be most displeased  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Snoopy on March 22, 2009, 10:36:45 AM
Well why not buy him some games then or a Wii?

Punishing him for doing exactly what any normal boy would do doesn't seem right.



I'll shut up now ~ not my place to interfere etc but honestly  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 22, 2009, 01:19:00 PM
That is exactly what most kids his age would do. Does he have a game system of any sort? If not it might be an idea to get him one. I believe Nintendo DS are very popular amongst the young uns. It would also give you something to take away from him as punishment next time he does something wrong.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2009, 06:14:16 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2009, 06:18:57 PM
cussing:
Wenchy is right.... You should buy him the biggest rootin' tootin' games console and let him get on with it...


 whistle:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2009, 06:23:01 PM
And you can fook off too  Angry9:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2009, 06:23:48 PM
And you can fook off too  Angry9:
Just trying to help like....  redface:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2009, 07:37:08 PM
He was not pleased  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2009, 07:42:53 PM
He was not pleased  eveilgrin:
Poor little sod...  noooo:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2009, 08:31:38 PM
He ought to cut out the online shopping then  eveilgrin:

CHrist he has his own compooter, like. I didn't achieve that till I was 40!!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 22, 2009, 09:00:15 PM
. . he has his own compooter, like. I didn't achieve that till I was 40!!

We all guessed that.  ::)
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Barman on March 23, 2009, 06:34:36 AM
. . he has his own compooter, like. I didn't achieve that till I was 40!!

We all guessed that.  ::)
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 23, 2009, 08:53:00 AM
He ought to cut out the online shopping then  eveilgrin:

CHrist he has his own compooter, like. I didn't achieve that till I was 40!!

When we were his age we both had gameboys and a main computer to share. And I think you'll have gathered from my previous mentions that my Dad was not one for spoiling or general niceness!  ;) He used to ban us from both regularally and it was a good punishment tool.

He may have a large computer but it isn't portable and the games for pcs are limited and v expenisve. Perhaps it is time to visit the portability issue. It's only a suggestion!
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Nick on March 23, 2009, 08:57:25 AM
He has more toys and equipment than the average marine on patrol in Baghdad!! He even has his own portable goal  post FFS. And a mini recording studio

I draw the line at online shopping with my money  evil:
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 23, 2009, 09:08:20 AM
As do I. I wasn't suggesting you "reward" him with it instantally more just a thought for the future.
Title: Re: The Boy!!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 23, 2009, 10:40:41 AM
He has more toys and equipment than the average marine on patrol in Baghdad!! He even has his own portable goal  post FFS. And a mini recording studio

I draw the line at online shopping with my money  evil:

It could be worse Nick, it you check your history and find out that its full of sites like Pirate Bay, Mininova etc then you can really start worrying.