The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: ATB on February 26, 2009, 03:21:34 PM

Title: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: ATB on February 26, 2009, 03:21:34 PM
Okay, I'm going to hazard a guess that apart from the ladies, there aren't many cocktail drinkers in the pub. But, if we were to have a cocktail hour, then we will need to come up with some names for them.

Names such as:

A Slow Comfortable Sponge Bath
A Bloody Marjorie
Snooze on the Beach
A Slippery Finger
A Surprising Orgasm

Any more ideas?

 rubschin:


Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 03:23:15 PM
A cold wet nose
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Uncle Mort on February 26, 2009, 03:27:33 PM
Harvey Wall Painter
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 03:28:06 PM
BM's special... a limp bar towel

Consisting of squeezed out beer spillage
A whiff of Bar Wenches apron
A dash of the strange mixture of fluid that pools behind the bar













Oh and a little pink umbrella
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 03:29:55 PM
Harvey Wall Painter
drumroll:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 26, 2009, 03:58:06 PM

Nick will have a Chaosmopolitan  whistle:




Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:04:01 PM
Paina colada
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:05:35 PM
Strawberry Diaper
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:06:54 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.toydreamer.com.au%2Fothertoys%2Fsnoopcocktail.jpg&hash=a2b60d033ec3b267c5ece3d5986ed0eed1df1209)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 26, 2009, 04:10:21 PM
Between the plastic sheets
Tokillher Sunrise
 noooo:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:10:34 PM
A JOM Collins
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:11:38 PM
Stop talking 'bout it and fill 'em up.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.iofferphoto.com%2Fimg%2Fitem%2F653%2F783%2F26%2Fo_8hwhRRPDRLQnOVq.jpg&hash=17172516661a369cc77975045bf352e105079d1a)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 26, 2009, 04:13:22 PM
Thats not a cocktail glass - really Snoops you must try and get into the spirit of things  lol:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:14:25 PM
Add an umbrella then  evil: I gorra thirst on me.
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:16:58 PM
White whine spritzer
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:18:01 PM
Harvey Wall Painter

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:18:56 PM
A Singapore Crutch
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:19:34 PM
I have just sawn a can of tomatoes in half with a breadknife  evil:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:20:08 PM
I have just sawn a can of tomatoes in half with a breadknife  evil:

Why?  eeek:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:20:28 PM
Tin opener broke
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 04:20:54 PM
Add an umbrella then  evil: I gorra thirst on me.




(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqh6J2A.jpg&hash=bb58e9ba6f13ccc8873c34626ffc4d37f94115a5) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqh6J2A)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:21:51 PM
Tin opener broke

Of course ~ silly of me to have asked. whacky115
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:22:07 PM
A Long Sloe Que at B and Q
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:22:23 PM
Tin opener broke
point:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 26, 2009, 04:22:39 PM
A Long Island Iced Knee ....where is Pastis anyway  whistle:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:23:03 PM
Add an umbrella then  evil: I gorra thirst on me.




(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPqh6J2A.jpg&hash=bb58e9ba6f13ccc8873c34626ffc4d37f94115a5) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqh6J2A)


That'll do nicely ~ shaken by the neck  whistle:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:24:19 PM
Black Rubshin
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:25:21 PM
You are working through a list and changing the names to suit. point:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:26:28 PM
You are working through a list and changing the names to suit. point:
No I'm not!  redface:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 04:26:55 PM
You are working through a list and changing the names to suit. point:
No I'm not!  redface:

Pants on fire  point:


Here are a few to test you:
http://www.cocktail.uk.com/db/viewAllCocktails.asp?type=8
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 04:31:00 PM
Singapore Truss
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:36:53 PM
I am covered in tomatoes  noooo:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 04:37:37 PM
I have just sawn a can of tomatoes in half with a breadknife  evil:


Nick is in the process of making Mrs Nick a Bloody Hail Mary. eeek:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:38:03 PM
Anyhoo

Bikini blast off
A roof lifter
Sausage surprise
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 26, 2009, 04:38:32 PM
I am covered in tomatoes  noooo:

Wouldn't go wondering the streets like that - the TV crews may still be there  scared2:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:39:27 PM
Tomato and severed finger special?
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 04:41:40 PM
I am working on the Bikini Blast off. It has possibilities  rubschin:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 04:43:07 PM
Tomato and severed finger special?





Tie a sparkler to severed finger, place stump side down in glass, set fire to sparkler... no one will know the difference
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 04:46:58 PM
I am covered in tomatoes  noooo:
Was it a catering-sized tin then...?  rubschin:

Another Tesco on-line shopping cock up!  point:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: barmisspah? on February 26, 2009, 04:47:20 PM
Short Slow Walk on the Pier
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 26, 2009, 05:21:25 PM
Surprise pee
Tit for Tat
Absinth of Hair
Jackhammock
Soiled Slipper

Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 26, 2009, 06:33:56 PM
Surprise pee
Tit for Tat
Absinth of Hair
Jackhammock
Soiled Slipper





Ewww that is just so bad and wrong my great Grandmother used to have a pair of those button down tartan slippers in my life time they always smelt of stale urine
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 06:37:47 PM
I have now sawn a can of beans in half.

It may make a good foundation for Bikini Blastoff  razz:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 06:46:25 PM
Just add Fried Eggs  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 08:10:20 PM
Oh Nick...  noooo:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on February 26, 2009, 08:12:08 PM
Fixated!  noooo:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2009, 09:01:44 PM
Que?
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2009, 09:02:42 PM
I am temporarily fixated with the phrase 'Que?'. Please try to understand and excuse me…
point:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 27, 2009, 10:51:42 AM
I am temporarily fixated with the phrase 'Que?'. Please try to understand and excuse me…
point:

I was quite proud of "Absinth of Hair" in your honour but. . .  tunble:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 27, 2009, 08:01:17 PM
 happy100

Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Barman on February 27, 2009, 08:23:54 PM
I am temporarily fixated with the phrase 'Que?'. Please try to understand and excuse me…
point:

I was quite proud of "Absinth of Hair" in your honour but. . .  tunble:
evil:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 02, 2009, 06:39:01 PM
Absinthe makes the head grow balder.......?   point:

Anyhoo I have one to commemorate Miss D's last tube of the night misadventure:

The slow uncomfortable spew against the wall.  whistle:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 02, 2009, 07:40:32 PM
If only it was that controlled  cry:

I was sitting in a seat and there was a woman standing with a fur coat in front of me ...you can guess the rest  redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 02, 2009, 07:41:33 PM
Is your first name Nickola perchance Miss D?  whistle:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on March 02, 2009, 07:41:57 PM
If only it was that controlled  cry:

I was sitting in a seat and there was a woman standing with a fur coat in front of me ...you can guess the rest  redface: redface: redface:

Oh no ~ tell me you didn't.  sick2:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 02, 2009, 07:49:38 PM
I'm SORRY     redface:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 03, 2009, 08:35:36 AM
Five foot two,
Full of spew,

Has anybody seen my girl?
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 08:51:34 AM
Not today  Shrugs:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 03, 2009, 08:55:27 AM
Good girl.  happy088
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 09:37:50 AM
I am going for a quick drink after work though  lol:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 03, 2009, 09:43:39 AM
I am going for a quick drink after work though  lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.pitch.com%2Ffatcity%2Fdrunk%2520girl.jpg&hash=806a6df6baef7e9a9002c360a4b9a64fdc91289e)
 noooo:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 09:49:10 AM
 lol: lol: lol:

Well at least she looks comfortable  eeek:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2009, 10:03:37 AM
I am going for a quick drink after work though  lol:

Time to buy shares in the local dry cleaners then...  whistle:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 10:51:22 AM
A quick drink = less than an hour.

Just enough time to dispense my worldly wisdom which I think has what has been called for   eeek: -and catch up on her gossip of which I believe there is plenty   lol:



Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2009, 11:10:47 AM
A quick drink = less than an hour.

Just enough time to dispense my wordly wisdom which I think has what has been called for   eeek:

The wisdom of Confuse us?  whistle:

Slippery when wet?
You can't fir quicker than a Quik Fit fitter?
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana?
He who builds a house on stone is wise, he who builds on quicksand is a real arsehole?
Do not trust the crocodile that complains of a sore back tooth?



Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 11:27:47 AM

Not at all - sometimes I have been known to be sensible - think that is in a leap year though  rubschin:

I just got lost in thought -  it was unfamiliar territory  lol:

I think she is having an affair with our new director and needs a confidante   noooo:

I need any material I can get that can guarantee me a job in the new proposals   whistle: whistle: whistle:


Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 03, 2009, 03:37:03 PM
I am going for a quick drink after work though  lol:


Take a sick bag with you just in case...... ;)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 04:24:53 PM
Think a dictaphone might be more prudent  ;)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2009, 04:25:26 PM
Think a dictaphone might be more prudent  ;)

Nah ~ use yer finger like everyone else.
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Pastis on March 03, 2009, 04:28:48 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 04:31:45 PM
Think a dictaphone might be more prudent  ;)

Nah ~ use yer finger like everyone else.

That one do ya  lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.inmagine.com%2Fimg%2Fbrandxpictures%2Fbxsi002%2Fbxp153297.jpg&hash=9691870e36e9f8232f32b9c30ce8381ca3ff88f1)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2009, 04:33:34 PM
Think a dictaphone might be more prudent  ;)

Nah ~ use yer finger like everyone else.

That one do ya  lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.inmagine.com%2Fimg%2Fbrandxpictures%2Fbxsi002%2Fbxp153297.jpg&hash=9691870e36e9f8232f32b9c30ce8381ca3ff88f1)

Perfick!  ;)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Pastis on March 03, 2009, 04:50:51 PM
So, Miss D will be carrying a wire, like ... to get the low down, like  8)
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2009, 04:53:25 PM
You've been watching too much Youff TV again haven't you Pastis  lol:
Title: Re: The Off Topic cocktail hour
Post by: Pastis on March 03, 2009, 04:58:14 PM
 eeek:  What's that?

Actually I stayed up too late last night and watched Hitchcock's Stage Fright... they wire one of the rooms in the hope of a confession  eveilgrin:
Marlene Dietrich on good form...  ;)