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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:07:39 PM

Title: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:07:39 PM
Sooo...

Despite references to "Jaffa", "Seedless Red Grapes" and "a chop" in the Restuarant thread, no-one seemed to spot, or perhaps comment on a trend, not even DS (shame on you  razz:)

Today, at 2.30 I had "the snip".

Firstly, the minor details - a private hospital in Brixton (eeek:) and I was out within an hour. I had to laugh at the music being played, "The first cut is the deepest" and the biscuits they gave me with the tea afterwards, Ginger Nuts  ;D

Once a room big enough for me to unleash the wedding vegetables was found, the whole procedure took less than 20 minutes. Local anaesthetic is the order of the day, with a certain "slash and burn" methodology. Not painful. Twenty minutes later, after tea and biscuits, the doctor re-examined the area, declared the bleeding to be "within acceptable" limits and then I was out, Mrs TMR (to be) insisting on driving my super comfy Lexus home, or rather to the pub. Despite some road rage on her part (language to make a docker blush) we arrived and I got quickly out of the car. Holy moly, the pain hit a somewhat. Even 3 pints of Young's failed to help much.

Now the gentleman's vegetables seem to have retreated in fear and are making their way towards my stomach. Two hours ago, I was walking like John Wayne, now I am walking like a chimpanzee. Mrs TMR (to be) is in fits of laughter and keeps throwing the "it can't be as painful as childbirth" line at me.

Red wine is being consumed as a painkiller, Nurofen is an option later.

All nuts/knob jokes welcomed, are there any of you out there that have had the same thing and if so, what do the next few days hold in store?

And no, Wenchy, I will not be posting photos...
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 28, 2009, 07:17:37 PM
Whimper!

Have you got to wear one of these?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marvistavet.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FDog_in_elizabethan_collar.gif&hash=968def5003d023036ed9e0462ff5f0327fcb4d72)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:21:27 PM
'Tis a tad snall Snoops  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2009, 07:28:07 PM
I had it done in London years ago... Mary Stopes(?)...

The thing I remember most was the doctor chatting alkl through the operation like we were in the pub... just not right somehow...  noooo:

Oh, and the burning smell...  sick2:

I travelled home on the tube and train which was not the most brilliant decision of my life...  eeek:

Oh yes, the pain gets worse!  point:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 28, 2009, 07:29:38 PM
'Tis a tad snall Snoops  whistle:

Never mind old boy, I'm sure they can make a small enough hood for you..  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 28, 2009, 07:32:12 PM
It's to stop him licking himself you dolt!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2009, 07:35:59 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2009, 07:37:47 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:
eeek:

How did he know it needed doing again?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 28, 2009, 07:38:13 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 28, 2009, 07:39:19 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:
eeek:

How did he know it needed doing again?  rubschin:

She prolly got pregnant and he believed it was his ~ there's one born every minute.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 28, 2009, 07:40:32 PM
It's to stop him licking himself you dolt!

I know hound but unless he is a yoga master or removes a couple of ribs he's pretty safe from that risk  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:41:01 PM
I had it done in London years ago... Mary Stopes(?)...

The thing I remember most was the doctor chatting alkl through the operation like we were in the pub... just not right somehow...  noooo:

Oh, and the burning smell...  sick2:


I travelled home on the tube and train which was not the most brilliant decision of my life...  eeek:

Oh yes, the pain gets worse!  point:

Yes, the smell is a bit intriguing. Luckily the nurse was distracting me  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2009, 07:43:09 PM
I had it done in London years ago... Mary Stopes(?)...

The thing I remember most was the doctor chatting alkl through the operation like we were in the pub... just not right somehow...  noooo:

Oh, and the burning smell...  sick2:


I travelled home on the tube and train which was not the most brilliant decision of my life...  eeek:

Oh yes, the pain gets worse!  point:

Yes, the smell is a bit intriguing. Luckily the nurse was distracting me  whistle:
Burning flesh... yours... she'd have to be dancing around the room naked in high heels  cloud9: to distract me from that...  sick2:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:43:53 PM
It's to stop him licking himself you dolt!

I know hound but unless he is a yoga master or removes a couple of ribs he's pretty safe from that risk  whistle:

Speak for yourself GM  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2009, 07:44:46 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:47:03 PM
I had it done in London years ago... Mary Stopes(?)...

The thing I remember most was the doctor chatting alkl through the operation like we were in the pub... just not right somehow...  noooo:

Oh, and the burning smell...  sick2:


I travelled home on the tube and train which was not the most brilliant decision of my life...  eeek:

Oh yes, the pain gets worse!  point:

Yes, the smell is a bit intriguing. Luckily the nurse was distracting me  whistle:
Burning flesh... yours... she'd have to be dancing around the room naked in high heels  cloud9: to distract me from that...  sick2:

What do you think they do when you pay to go private...the nurse looked like Salma Hayek...

And a Brucie Bonus - Mrs TMR (to be) has volunteered to drive to, and collect me from, the pub everyday until I say all is well.

Now what say you?!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2009, 07:48:39 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:
eeek:

I had a check after a month...

Well, when I say I had a check, they gave you a little jar and a stamped-addressed Jiffy bag...  eeek:

I always thought postmen earned their money after that...  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:50:58 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:

I don't believe so - you provide samples (whistle:) at 14 and 16 weeks. After that, assuming all clear, all you get is a cheaper option for a termination and full support, should the tubes somehow have re-jigged themselves.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 07:52:45 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:
eeek:

I had a check after a month...

Well, when I say I had a check, they gave you a little jar and a stamped-addressed Jiffy bag...  eeek:

I always thought postmen earned their money after that...  whistle:

Figures...mine are about the size of a dustbin...
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2009, 07:54:08 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:
eeek:

I had a check after a month...

Well, when I say I had a check, they gave you a little jar and a stamped-addressed Jiffy bag...  eeek:

I always thought postmen earned their money after that...  whistle:

Figures...mine are about the size of a dustbin...
Well, when I say little jar it was a demijohn type thing...  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 08:00:55 PM
My brother has had it done and my best friends husband ....

Do you want the bad news ....my mates husband had to have it done again last year (2 yrs after the original op) as the tubes had reconnected. Although not looking forward to going through it again the pride of his manhood being so powerful seemed to mitigate his situation somewhat  ::)

Oh and my loutish brother had to take 2 days off work  eeek:

The things you wimmin talk about between yourselves!  ::)

That'll be right cos you're not talking about it here are ya  noooo:

He had private health care - apparently they check these things every year  eeek:
eeek:

I had a check after a month...

Well, when I say I had a check, they gave you a little jar and a stamped-addressed Jiffy bag...  eeek:

I always thought postmen earned their money after that...  whistle:

Figures...mine are about the size of a dustbin...
Well, when I say little jar it was a demijohn type thing...  whistle:

But of course. We all believe you. Of course we do. Why am I suddenly thinking of coarse fishing bait?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 08:03:16 PM
Also, I have to lose the love paste at least 50 times before the first sample. Being mischevious, I have told Mrs TMR (to be) that the doctor certainly recommends added suction to help this. And no, not the Vax...
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2009, 08:05:01 PM

 ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.neo-tech.com%2Fimages%2Fpenis-chart.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNHBTeIy3Xy-qH-CJ7qN2JeW0R_gxg&hash=3e73a8acab6adce57fece814af40c01c0271d2ef)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 08:07:11 PM

 ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.neo-tech.com%2Fimages%2Fpenis-chart.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNHBTeIy3Xy-qH-CJ7qN2JeW0R_gxg&hash=3e73a8acab6adce57fece814af40c01c0271d2ef)

Do you have a flange chart too?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2009, 08:08:11 PM
I will go and check  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 28, 2009, 08:09:05 PM

 ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.neo-tech.com%2Fimages%2Fpenis-chart.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNHBTeIy3Xy-qH-CJ7qN2JeW0R_gxg&hash=3e73a8acab6adce57fece814af40c01c0271d2ef)

Mind that 'Start line' chaps.

A paper cut would be almost as bad as TMR will feel in the morning.  scared2:

It was two bricks in my day. . .


Good luck TMR anyway. I look forward to hearing of your tender exploits.


Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2009, 08:10:42 PM
Sorry TMR - just checked - not as aesthetically pleasing and in your tender situation probably not a good idea  happy100
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 28, 2009, 08:17:44 PM
Sorry TMR - just checked - not as aesthetically pleasing and in your tender situation probably not a good idea  happy100

 ;D Understod.

Just had the first pee since, not too bad apart from the "Superman" position required not the splash the porcelain.

Bad move was subsequently lighting a fag and the lighter deciding to go on turbo boost resulting in singed nasal hairs, compelling a sharp involuntary movement that resulted in a heavy nads/chair impact.  sad24:

Mrs TMR (to be, or not to be if she keeps bloody laughing) is still rolling aroung the floor giggling like a schoolgirl. I shall put itching powder in her knickers as revenge.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Pastis on January 28, 2009, 08:20:01 PM
Quote
Atlas of Human Sex Anatomy (Hardcover) by Robert L. Dickinson (Author)
No customer reviews yet. Be the first.

 drumroll:

Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 28, 2009, 08:33:08 PM
 eeek:

My legs crossed involuntarily as soon as I started reading this!  eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 28, 2009, 09:02:21 PM
We have a eunuch  cloud9:

Now Pastis has to honour his part of the bargain and I am in business  cloud9:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Pastis on January 28, 2009, 09:05:15 PM
 eeek:

Moi? Trafficking Persian lovelies?

 eeek:

Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: GROWLER on January 28, 2009, 11:00:24 PM
eeek:

My legs crossed involuntarily as soon as I started reading this!  eeek:

Can someone ring me and talk me through this thread please?
My eyes started watering after the first paragraph. sad32:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 29, 2009, 08:06:31 AM

 ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.neo-tech.com%2Fimages%2Fpenis-chart.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNHBTeIy3Xy-qH-CJ7qN2JeW0R_gxg&hash=3e73a8acab6adce57fece814af40c01c0271d2ef)

OK 'Fess up boys ~ how many of you tried to measure up against the screen?

Moi? ~ No ~ because Mrs S#1 performed the task with a ruler many years ago and it don't shrink. You just get fatter.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2009, 08:08:19 AM

 ::)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.co.uk%2Furl%3Fsource%3Dimgres%26amp%3Bct%3Dimg%26amp%3Bq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.neo-tech.com%2Fimages%2Fpenis-chart.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFQjCNHBTeIy3Xy-qH-CJ7qN2JeW0R_gxg&hash=3e73a8acab6adce57fece814af40c01c0271d2ef)

OK 'Fess up boys ~ how many of you tried to measure up against the screen?

Moi? ~ No ~ because Mrs S#1 performed the task with a ruler many years ago and it don't shrink. You just get fatter.
noooo:

I was worried about getting a static shock...  redface:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 29, 2009, 08:26:02 AM
 rubschin:

Is this to scale?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 29, 2009, 08:52:57 AM
rubschin:

Is this to scale?

Why ~ can't you reach the screen?  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 29, 2009, 09:50:33 AM
Morning all.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 29, 2009, 09:50:51 AM
And how are you today?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 29, 2009, 09:57:12 AM
Limp and limping probably.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 29, 2009, 09:57:35 AM
A tad tender.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVIsDu0.jpg&hash=0e49c7ecb9d053798f30cdd2c1e1ad0d78af0c79) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVIsDu0)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 29, 2009, 09:58:57 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: tel on January 29, 2009, 10:24:51 AM
I've got to admit that most of us in the real pub don't have a lot of sympathy for TMR - self-inflicted as far as we are concerned.

The walking action is very amusing though.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 29, 2009, 10:31:44 AM
I've got to admit that most of us in the real pub don't have a lot of sympathy for TMR - self-inflicted as far as we are concerned.

The walking action is very amusing though.

CHEERS PAL!!!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 29, 2009, 12:02:04 PM
He has done a good thing - never having to worry his bride to be with contraception , pregnancy and the exorbitent costs of raising a child

 worthy:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2009, 12:04:35 PM
He has done a good thing - never having to worry his bride to be with contraception , pregnancy and the exorbitent costs of raising a child

 worthy:
While you're down there pet...  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 29, 2009, 12:06:11 PM
Do you need your shoes polished again  ::)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2009, 12:07:14 PM
Do you need your shoes polished again  ::)
Um... yes...  redface:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 29, 2009, 12:08:57 PM
Do you need your shoes polished again  ::)

He wants to see his face in them, apparently he gets mesmirised by the infinite mirror effects when he gets the reflection of his shiny head.  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 29, 2009, 12:11:31 PM
Do you need your shoes polished again  ::)
Um... yes...  redface:

I'll work up some spit  lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 29, 2009, 12:24:46 PM
Do you need your shoes polished again  ::)
Um... yes...  redface:

I'll work up some spit  lol:

 lol: BTW They are suede
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 29, 2009, 12:36:05 PM
Outside of my remit then I'm afraid  lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 29, 2009, 12:51:36 PM
I guess she prefers leather
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: tel on January 29, 2009, 02:06:54 PM
I will see if Mrs TMR (to be) can be bribed with some dark chocolate, to provide piccies/video/commentary of TMRs recuperation.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 29, 2009, 02:12:31 PM
I think it is time for some liquid anaesthetic  8)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: tel on January 29, 2009, 02:28:15 PM
I will see you there later.

Be careful getting out of the car!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Pastis on January 29, 2009, 02:29:11 PM
Lucky bugger  surrender:

I'm on R.I.C.E. and avoiding H.A.R.M.


Rest
Ice
Compression
Elevation

Heat
Alcohol
Running... well that's a joke
Massage... shame

 cry:

Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on January 29, 2009, 02:33:19 PM
What have you done then?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 29, 2009, 02:52:09 PM
I walked up. On reflection, a bad move :-(
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Pastis on January 29, 2009, 02:57:46 PM
What have you done then?

Tweaked my knee somehow on my trip and it ballooned up on the nine hour flight back. Had to be wheelchaired off the plane and buggied through control and customs. All very embarrassing  redface:

I think it was something as simple as extricating myself from the back a taxi but MissD reckons it was during the recruitment drive for a harem  eyes:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 29, 2009, 02:58:43 PM
She knows the truth  eyes:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 09:44:34 AM
So how is the patient today?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 09:48:35 AM
I would be lying if I said it wasn't a tad sore. Sitting down is OK, but walking gives you that horrible pain/feeling that only men who have had a good whack in the walnuts will know.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 09:49:12 AM
I wonder how BM's figs are coming along  rubschin:

Can you take pain killing pills?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 09:51:32 AM
I wonder how BM's figs are coming along  rubschin:

Can you take pain killing pills?

I can, but I don't take pills as a rule.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 09:53:21 AM
Unless you have worms, like
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 09:57:10 AM
Unless you have worms, like

In that case, yes, but not for mere pain relief.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 09:57:53 AM
So what sort of worms do you have?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 09:59:53 AM
So what sort of worms do you have?
Banghead
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 10:00:59 AM
Don't be embarrassed. Snoopy says they are quite common
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 10:49:06 AM
Just noticed this. A very good argument for TMR's decision!"!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7860041.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7860041.stm)

I imagine her husband may have his knackers kicked in by the Mrs
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2009, 11:48:44 AM
I would be lying if I said it wasn't a tad sore. Sitting down is OK, but walking gives you that horrible pain/feeling that only men who have had a good whack in the walnuts will know.
Mine are still sore...  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:49:38 AM
After all these years  noooo:

Poor TMR. He will live to regret this
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 11:53:35 AM
Mrs TMR (to be) has just inspected the area and declared "lots of bruising, I bet it's sore"  sad24:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:54:30 AM
Did she use a magnifying glass?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 30, 2009, 11:55:39 AM
Did she use a magnifying glass?

No, I was in the bathroom and she was on the landing.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 11:58:00 AM
Telescope then
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Just One More on January 30, 2009, 08:17:47 PM
I'm joining this thread late. I had the op back in '84. My own doctor did it in the surgery, like you, it took 20 minutes. FIL took me home, two hours later my boss was knocking on the door, "how you feeling, Denis has gone sick, can you drive the JCB and load gritters all night". I did, no problems whatsoever

However, I would not recommend the reversal (breakdown of marriage, new long-term relationship) When they do that one they cut hell of a lot further. I couldn't walk for three days, and on returning home I was greeted by one of the dogs in the way that they do  eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2009, 09:00:51 PM
Can anyone translate?

I lost this one  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on January 30, 2009, 10:10:08 PM
Makes perfect sense to me ~ and with the reference to new relationships etc explains why I have never had it done.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 30, 2009, 11:18:01 PM
Can anyone translate?

I lost this one  noooo:

Lose the other one and you won't have to worry.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on January 31, 2009, 10:40:33 AM
 eeek:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WNy0ZRLrtis
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2009, 12:43:22 PM
Better yet?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on February 05, 2009, 01:12:40 PM
Generally, yes. I could expand further, but it would involve graphic details...
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2009, 01:14:27 PM
All in (cough) werking order?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on February 05, 2009, 05:02:33 PM
Generally, yes. I could expand further, but it would involve graphic details...

Would this expansion require the active co-operation of Mrs TMR (to be)?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on February 05, 2009, 06:48:15 PM
Pus. Quite a bit of pus. At incision point. It happens, apparently.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2009, 07:05:54 PM
 sick2: sick2: sick2:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on February 05, 2009, 07:24:13 PM
sick2: sick2: sick2:

I agree Miss D. Not pleasant. This subject is now closed.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2009, 07:25:39 PM
 happ096

But saying that  - hope it's not too painful  happy100
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on February 05, 2009, 07:30:36 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick032.gif&hash=3d1d2d51f3033f967ef07033998b63f0734032ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on February 05, 2009, 07:50:51 PM
Not that bad BM - I can walk fine, but when you see a river of snot running out of your knob/sack interface, it's a bit off-putting. A quick splash of Listerene and a sellotape harness seems tp be working well.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2009, 08:05:59 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 06, 2009, 08:44:57 AM
Not that bad BM - I can walk fine, but when you see a river of snot running out of your knob/sack interface, it's a bit off-putting.

See! 


That part of my anatomy has been beyond the visible horizon for the best part of 50 years.  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on February 06, 2009, 10:09:04 AM
 whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcoonwrangler.net%2Fpics%2FM100.jpg&hash=a8c3d982ce1c577f593d80879005ab5a00e089cf)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 07, 2009, 10:38:25 PM
whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcoonwrangler.net%2Fpics%2FM100.jpg&hash=a8c3d982ce1c577f593d80879005ab5a00e089cf)
Is that a mirror or a magnifier?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: GROWLER on February 07, 2009, 10:44:21 PM
whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcoonwrangler.net%2Fpics%2FM100.jpg&hash=a8c3d982ce1c577f593d80879005ab5a00e089cf)
Is that a mirror or a magnifier?

Both. Just for you like. ;)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 19, 2009, 09:08:33 PM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 19, 2009, 09:39:47 PM
Nice to see you are pulling together.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 06:09:00 AM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
It is quite embarrassing taking it back to be tested like...  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drsfostersmith.com%2Fimages%2FCategoryimages%2Fnormal%2Fp-28959-38346-bucket.jpg&hash=5a0c7b7dd0ae3f31ce9d4d439b6e836876df78d7)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 07:25:18 AM
Nice to see you are pulling together.

 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 09:55:52 AM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
It is quite embarrassing taking it back to be tested like...  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drsfostersmith.com%2Fimages%2FCategoryimages%2Fnormal%2Fp-28959-38346-bucket.jpg&hash=5a0c7b7dd0ae3f31ce9d4d439b6e836876df78d7)

See thread "What do you lie about"  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on May 20, 2009, 10:20:58 AM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
It is quite embarrassing taking it back to be tested like...  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drsfostersmith.com%2Fimages%2FCategoryimages%2Fnormal%2Fp-28959-38346-bucket.jpg&hash=5a0c7b7dd0ae3f31ce9d4d439b6e836876df78d7)

See thread "What do you lie about"  whistle:
redface:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 12:53:14 PM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
It is quite embarrassing taking it back to be tested like...  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drsfostersmith.com%2Fimages%2FCategoryimages%2Fnormal%2Fp-28959-38346-bucket.jpg&hash=5a0c7b7dd0ae3f31ce9d4d439b6e836876df78d7)

See thread "What do you lie about"  whistle:

Don't worry Snoops - the bucket is for LL  lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 01:04:26 PM
Time for the 1st sample...Mrs TMR (to be) is giving me a hand, like... whistle:
It is quite embarrassing taking it back to be tested like...  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drsfostersmith.com%2Fimages%2FCategoryimages%2Fnormal%2Fp-28959-38346-bucket.jpg&hash=5a0c7b7dd0ae3f31ce9d4d439b6e836876df78d7)

See thread "What do you lie about"  whistle:

Don't worry Snoops - the bucket is for LL  lol:

Wot ~ To put over his head like ...... when she has to carry out her "wifely duties" on his birthday? ;)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 03:42:31 PM
So I went to post the specimen off. As I arrived at the post box, postman pratt arrived and began emptying it. I sheepishly handed him the jiffy bag and wandered off. I made about 10 yards before he shouted "Snip, snip!"

Bastard.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 20, 2009, 03:47:26 PM
The postbox!??!?!?!?!?!? Ummm I thought "they" died below body temp?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 03:53:20 PM
Hahahahaha!!!

Wenchy, you have made my day!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 03:57:09 PM
When they tested me, albeit some years ago and for slightly different reasons, the specimen had to be at the path lab within 30 minutes of leaving me.

We lived 45 mins away by car and they rejected the first try as "Too old to be of any use" so it was try again only this time we parked up at the back of the 9th at the local golf club and got the specimen to the hospital in 5 minutes.  redface: Thank the Lord it was pissing down and nobody was out looking for lost balls or they would have found more than they expected.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 20, 2009, 04:07:41 PM
The point (pardon the pun) of the snip is that "they" shouldn't be there - dead or alive. Snoops, I presume your "plumbing" is still in tact? Hence the need for "live ones"?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 20, 2009, 04:13:26 PM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 20, 2009, 04:32:29 PM
The point (pardon the pun) of the snip is that "they" shouldn't be there - dead or alive. Snoops, I presume your "plumbing" is still in tact? Hence the need for "live ones"?

Yes they are live ~ "They" (the medics) Said they were not so we stopped using contraception. Since then we have had a number of pregnancies three of which have resulting in live births. One didn't make it alive and a couple or three others aborted in the first three months. SWWLTBO became pregnant within three months of coming off the pill. There are obvious suggestions that could be made but I should tell those who would make them that we lived and worked (shared office, she was my assistant) together and the only time we were not within sight and sound of one another 24/7 was when one of us went to the toilet.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 08:55:37 AM
The point (pardon the pun) of the snip is that "they" shouldn't be there - dead or alive. Snoops, I presume your "plumbing" is still in tact? Hence the need for "live ones"?

But if "they" are dead from the journey then how can you have a proper test? "They" could show up dead and still be alive and kicking!  eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 08:59:18 AM
Did you fail your Biology GCSE?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 21, 2009, 09:00:50 AM
The point (pardon the pun) of the snip is that "they" shouldn't be there - dead or alive. Snoops, I presume your "plumbing" is still in tact? Hence the need for "live ones"?

But if "they" are dead from the journey then how can you have a proper test? "They" could show up dead and still be alive and kicking!  eeek:

If they show up at all - alive or dead - then the operation hasn't worked. Think of it this way - if you ripped the pipes from under the hot and cold taps in your sink, then when you turned the taps on, you wouldn't expect water to come out of the taps, would you?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:01:06 AM
I got an A* as it happens. And it was an IGCSE which we all know is more difficult than an ordinary one! The BBC said so!

I'm really not getting it.  redface: Perhaps some kind soul could pm me and put me straight.  redface:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:01:39 AM
I sense a lesson for BM in TMR's last post  rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:05:17 AM
The point (pardon the pun) of the snip is that "they" shouldn't be there - dead or alive. Snoops, I presume your "plumbing" is still in tact? Hence the need for "live ones"?

But if "they" are dead from the journey then how can you have a proper test? "They" could show up dead and still be alive and kicking!  eeek:

If they show up at all - alive or dead - then the operation hasn't worked. Think of it this way - if you ripped the pipes from under the hot and cold taps in your sink, then when you turned the taps on, you wouldn't expect water to come out of the taps, would you?

I suppose I was thinking if they died they would somehow disapear.  redface: I see now how stupid an assumption that was.  redface:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:06:36 AM
 whacky115
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:07:16 AM
I am light headed.  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 21, 2009, 09:07:41 AM
Think of it as the swimmers being taken out of the swimming pool  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:08:28 AM
Now that is an analogy I can understand!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 21, 2009, 09:08:40 AM
Why can't I post pictures  rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2009, 09:09:09 AM
BM is twiddling the levers again.
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:11:46 AM
Think of it as the swimmers being taken out of the swimming pool  whistle:

Or goats
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on May 21, 2009, 09:11:58 AM
BM is twiddling the levers again.
scared2:

Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 10:33:08 AM
BM is twiddling the levers again.


I think that one twiddles with buttons and knobs but pushes or pulls levers.

 Let's just say he is fiddling with the controls.  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 21, 2009, 10:35:16 AM
BM is twiddling the levers again.


I think that one twiddles with buttons and knobs but pushes or pulls levers.

 Let's just say he is fiddling with the controls.  whistle:

Are we talking about providing samples again?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2009, 10:36:15 AM
Possibly  eyes:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2012, 06:47:57 PM
Poor dog  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 23, 2012, 07:23:40 AM
Poor dog  noooo:

 whacky115
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2012, 09:59:38 AM
Poor dog  noooo:

He is blundering about the place, knocking things over wiv his hooooge bucket. Only another 12 days until the stitches come out.  tunble:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 23, 2012, 11:54:27 AM
Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back on track -


When I had mine done way back when, I thought part of me had changed ethnicity for a couple of weeks!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Just One More on August 23, 2012, 05:13:25 PM
Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back on track -


When I had mine done way back when, I thought part of me had changed ethnicity for a couple of weeks!

I was operating a JCB for 12 hours loading gritters just two hours after having mine

The reversal op was a different story, could hardly walk for two days, off work for two weeks  noooo:  (and it didn't work  sad24: )
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: apc2010 on August 23, 2012, 05:54:30 PM
Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back on track -


When I had mine done way back when, I thought part of me had changed ethnicity for a couple of weeks!

I was operating a JCB for 12 hours loading gritters just two hours after having mine

The reversal op was a different story, could hardly walk for two days, off work for two weeks  noooo:  (and it didn't work  sad24: )

Aaahh have a biscuit ............ whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 24, 2012, 09:13:44 PM
Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back on track -


When I had mine done way back when, I thought part of me had changed ethnicity for a couple of weeks!

I was operating a JCB for 12 hours loading gritters just two hours after having mine

The reversal op was a different story, could hardly walk for two days, off work for two weeks  noooo:  (and it didn't work  sad24: )

Ahhh, but the guy who did mine didn't believe in 'reversability'! He only did the 'radical' which involved removing what seemed like 5 yards of tubing!

Believe me, I felt that being pulled out despite the local!

(don't ask about the red face incident at the outset!  redface:)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2012, 04:55:52 AM
Dragging this thread kicking and screaming back on track -


When I had mine done way back when, I thought part of me had changed ethnicity for a couple of weeks!

I was operating a JCB for 12 hours loading gritters just two hours after having mine

The reversal op was a different story, could hardly walk for two days, off work for two weeks  noooo:  (and it didn't work  sad24: )

Ahhh, but the guy who did mine didn't believe in 'reversability'! He only did the 'radical' which involved removing what seemed like 5 yards of tubing!

Believe me, I felt that being pulled out despite the local!

(don't ask about the red face incident at the outset!  redface:)

My guy just chatted about computers all the time he was cutting me up.....  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Snoopy on August 25, 2012, 06:30:56 AM
I'm still firing live  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 25, 2012, 07:03:57 AM
Thank heavens for that ...I was beginning to think it was a requirement for the blokes when joining up here  lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Just One More on August 25, 2012, 07:09:20 AM
I'm still firing live  whistle:

Him-cumming, take cover!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 25, 2012, 07:19:38 AM
Tsk JOM.

Now Marley tell us about this so called 'red face incident at the outset' of which you speak...... Popcorn:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2012, 07:30:25 AM
I'm still firing live  whistle:

Him-cumming, take cover!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 25, 2012, 12:36:21 PM
Tsk JOM.

Now Marley tell us about this so called 'red face incident at the outset' of which you speak...... Popcorn:

Suffice to say the 'scrub' nurse was young and attractive . . . .( use imagination - what could possibly go wrong?)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2012, 12:41:53 PM
Tsk JOM.

Now Marley tell us about this so called 'red face incident at the outset' of which you speak...... Popcorn:

Suffice to say the 'scrub' nurse was young and attractive . . . .( use imagination - what could possibly go wrong?)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 25, 2012, 01:05:17 PM
But you must have been Nil by Mouth  whistle:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 25, 2012, 02:51:15 PM
But you must have been Nil by Mouth  whistle:

what? For a local and intimate shave?
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 25, 2012, 02:57:42 PM
Oh yes - close shaves can be quite exciting  ;)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on August 25, 2012, 05:36:43 PM
It was the 'materials handling' that was the issue!
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2016, 01:56:49 PM
Looks like a lot of bother  noooo:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: apc2010 on February 09, 2016, 01:58:38 PM
Looks like a lot of bother  noooo:

 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 09, 2016, 02:14:32 PM
Looks like a lot of bother  noooo:

Might save a few bob.

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f9/de/c7/f9dec7c9961d012abae3ece5c495e924.jpg)
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2016, 02:16:26 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: apc2010 on February 09, 2016, 02:17:34 PM
Looks like a lot of bother  noooo:

Might save a few bob.

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f9/de/c7/f9dec7c9961d012abae3ece5c495e924.jpg)

Why would you call them the same name ...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Diary of "the snip".
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2016, 02:18:08 PM
 facepalm: