The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 20, 2009, 01:07:07 PM
-
1. Find a gerl/boy*
*Delete as appropriate
-
Okay... rubschin:
-
2. Remove their clothes (deftly - not with a chainsaw or anything except in emergencies, like)
It may be necessary to precede this stage with some ritualistic buying of dinner or similar. Could be pricey (health warning)
Gerls/boys may also contribute their advice
-
Ye-es... with you so far... rubschin:
-
Wot if they aren't wearing clothes and/or are on a diet?
-
This is more complex than I expected... noooo:
-
Ok. Try to fine a gerl with clothes on
::)
-
Ok. Try to fine a gerl with cothes on
::)
Fine her £10?
Are 'cothes' some kind of Plimsoll?
-
It'sd amazing that we ever breed eeek:
1. Get person
2. Buy dinner or lots of wine
3. Get chainsaw (just in case)
I am surrouded by idiots noooo:
Have a willy ( I forgot that bit) *
*Except gerls, of course
-
Sounds all complicated and messy like. noooo:
What'wrong with just lookin' like ey?
I'm goin' up me 'ill for a walk, ::) all uncomplicated and fuss free like. Much more enjoyable. cloud9:
-
Why messy? We haven't got his/her clothes off yet!
oH, THE CHAINSAW noooo:
-
Why messy? We haven't got his/her clothes off yet!
oH, THE CHAINSAW noooo:
Just grab and pull was always the best method I found tbh.....clothes like ;)
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
Under the freezer? eeek: Isn't that taking house work to extremes?
-
My chainsaw is broken... sad24:
-
My chainsaw is broken... sad24:
Or in your case
Το αλυσιδοπρίονό μου είναι σπασμένο
May come in handy whistle:
-
My chainsaw is broken... sad24:
Or in your case
Το αλυσιδοπρίονό μου είναι σπασμένο
May come in handy whistle:
Πράγματι whistle:
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
Under the freezer? eeek: Isn't that taking house work to extremes?
I dunno. I moved the freezer a bit (as you do) and there were said bins peeking out at me.
The point is not that I found them but how the fork they ended up UNDER the freezer in the first place. noooo:
-
My chainsaw is broken... sad24:
Or in your case
Το αλυσιδοπρίονό μου είναι σπασμένο
May come in handy whistle:
Πράγματι whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
Under the freezer? eeek: Isn't that taking house work to extremes?
I dunno. I moved the freezer a bit (as you do) and there were said bins peeking out at me.
The point is not that I found them but how the fork they ended up UNDER the freezer in the first place. noooo:
Because you saw them on the floor and gave them a good kick...? whistle:
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
Under the freezer? eeek: Isn't that taking house work to extremes?
I dunno. I moved the freezer a bit (as you do) and there were said bins peeking out at me.
The point is not that I found them but how the fork they ended up UNDER the freezer in the first place. noooo:
Because you saw them on the floor and gave them a good kick...? whistle:
More like they landed on the floor and when she bent over to retrieve them, TG became aroused and the glasses were pushed underneath in the commotion.
-
Later, remove pants
-
Is this a porn thread?
I only nipped over to the library and I come back and find this.
I'm shocked.
Chainsaw? Mrs TG lost her glasses somewhere between the living room and the kitchen on Sunday. I found them under the freezer this morning.
I mention this not because I wish to take the piss out my esteemed spuose ( point:) but I cannot help wondering what would happen if a chainsaw was introduced into the TG's bedroom.
She would prolly lose that fvcker as well.
Under the freezer? eeek: Isn't that taking house work to extremes?
I dunno. I moved the freezer a bit (as you do) and there were said bins peeking out at me.
The point is not that I found them but how the fork they ended up UNDER the freezer in the first place. noooo:
Because you saw them on the floor and gave them a good kick...? whistle:
More like they landed on the floor and when she bent over to retrieve them, TG became aroused and the glasses were pushed underneath in the commotion.
lol: lol: lol:
-
You are not taking this seriously evil:
-
You are not taking this seriously evil:
Do you have nothing better to do than post shite on here... on your birthday like...? happy100
-
No sad24:
-
I feel guilty now for not driving round to buy you a pint ~ my only excuse is that I have the boys all day now and frankly taking them for a pint is not my idea of a good time.
If it will cheer you up I have been for a blood test ...... in preparation for next weeks session with the Diabetes Clinic. The cheering you up bit is that the fvcking needlle hurt! sad32:
-
Cake sick2:
Hang on. sex. for BM cussing: cussing:
-
No sad24:
Oh poor you... where is Mrs. Nick...? Shrugs:
-
Faffing
-
Cake sick2:
Hang on. sex. for BM cussing: cussing:
Not the Tesco cheapo cake surely. You didn't try to eat it did you? You are meant to blow out the candles and say how full you are so sorry but you couldn't possibly eat any.
-
3
-
3.
Three what...? Shrugs:
-
After 2 noooo:
So impatient noooo:
-
After 2 noooo:
So impatient noooo:
It is my youngness... whistle:
-
This is more complex than I expected... noooo:
and exciting scared2:
-
This is more complex than I expected... noooo:
and exciting scared2:
NURSE! The tissues please... noooo:
-
I'm easily aroused. It's a character flaw.
-
I'm easily aroused. It's a character flaw.
It's not been the same since they stopped the Bromide has it...? happy100
-
3. evil:
-
3. evil:
What? Shrugs:
-
3.
Comes after 2. ::)
-
3.
Comes after 2. ::)
I've never been past first base... angel1
-
Good grief noooo:
-
Good grief noooo:
Teach me master... worthy:
-
And me please, I am all ears
-
3. Arrange a seductive enviroment (with lots of plonk)
::)
-
3. Arrange a seductive enviroment (with lots of plonk)
::)
Can you recap... I've forgotten 1. and 2. redface:
-
I never have all this performance.
Just stick my cold nose in their nether regions and if they lift their tails I'm in like Flynn. whistle:
-
Flowers help, I know not at what stage
2A?
-
Flowers help, I know not at what stage
2A?
I'm very confused now... noooo:
Imagine how GOS is coping...? Shrugs:
-
Ask LL you idiot.
Miss D may also have a view whistle:
-
Ask LL you idiot.
Miss D may also have a view whistle:
I thought you were going to teach us Master...?
Or perhaps you don't know...? whistle:
-
It's a collaborative thread, you dolt
-
It's a collaborative thread, you dolt
You don't know do you? point:
-
OK
3. Advance with flowers and keep chainsaw behind your back
Retain underpants (adds mystery, trust me)
-
OK
3. Advance with flowers and keep chainsaw behind your back
Retain underpants (adds mystery, trust me)
happy001
-
Flowers help, I know not at what stage
2A?
I'm very confused now... noooo:
Imagine how GOS is coping...? Shrugs:
What?
-
Flowers help, I know not at what stage
2A?
I'm very confused now... noooo:
Imagine how GOS is coping...? Shrugs:
What?
Precisely... noooo:
-
She's problee got thouroughly pissed off waiting for you Nick.
ffs, skip the shite and just dive in, quck shake about in the nether regions, drop out, quick wipe and down the ale 'ouse.
Simple really. ::)
-
No finesse noooo:
-
She's problee got thouroughly pissed off waiting for you Nick.
ffs, skip the shite and just dive in, quck shake about in the nether regions, drop out, quick wipe and down the ale 'ouse.
Simple really. ::)
He is scared... point:
-
I amsure LL can offer sage advice
LL
[/b][/size]
-
No finesse noooo:
Chainsaw and shagging by numbers= finesse ey?
Well knock me down with a bastard great sledgehammer. ::)
-
Ask Mrs Growler then! evil:
-
Ask LL you idiot.
Miss D may also have a view whistle:
My view is that it is lucky you are already married because with those techniques you would be swamped with offers ::)
-
Ask LL you idiot.
Miss D may also have a view whistle:
My view is that it is lucky you are already married because with those techniques you would be swamped with offers ::)
From goats.
-
Ask Mrs Growler then! evil:
What for? She's a wumman....last time I looked. This is MAAYNS talk.
-
Ask LL you idiot.
Miss D may also have a view whistle:
My view is that it is lucky you are already married because with those techniques you would be swamped with offers ::)
I can just see them out on the pull with these techniques! point:
-
Female advice is always welcome angel1
-
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.
Gin ~ works every time. whistle:
-
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.
Gin ~ works every time. whistle:
Not on me it wouldn't! sick2:
-
IKEA meatballs in Wench's case, I spose
-
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.
Gin ~ works every time. whistle:
Not on me it wouldn't! sick2:
The exception to the rule ::) I suppose you are a vodka girl?
-
Yes.
-
And meatballs?
-
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.
Gin ~ works every time. whistle:
I'm with Wenchy on this...gin is sick2:
Vodka is so much better angel1
-
So. Chainsaw, flowers and vodka.
We may have cracked it!
Oh, and hang on to your pants to add to the element of surprise.
-
Pay attention Nick noooo:
Money , chocolate and vodka and then you've cracked it
Although I've never had a man with money noooo:
-
Not after you'd finished with him anyhoo whistle:
-
Not after you'd finished with him anyhoo whistle:
that'll be right noooo:
-
Pay attention Nick noooo:
Money , chocolate and vodka and then you've cracked it
Although I've never had a man with money noooo:
Money , chocolate, shoes and vodka surely...? eyes:
-
She's problee got thouroughly pissed off waiting for you Nick.
ffs, skip the shite and just dive in, quck shake about in the nether regions, drop out, quick wipe and down the ale 'ouse.
Simple really. ::)
Straight out of a Barbara Cartland novel
-
Pay attention Nick noooo:
Money , chocolate and vodka and then you've cracked it
Although I've never had a man with money noooo:
Money , chocolate, shoes and vodka surely...? eyes:
Only if you're going out for sex ;)
-
Pay attention Nick noooo:
Money , chocolate and vodka and then you've cracked it
Although I've never had a man with money noooo:
Money , chocolate, shoes and vodka surely...? eyes:
Only if you're going out for sex ;)
I thought that was what this was all about...? Shrugs:
-
Pay attention Nick noooo:
Money , chocolate and vodka and then you've cracked it
Although I've never had a man with money noooo:
I have, wasn't worth putting up with for the sake of it though. noooo:
-
I thought that was what this was all about...? Shrugs:
Don't ask me I just work here tunble:
-
I thought that was what this was all about...? Shrugs:
Don't ask me I just work here tunble:
That's OK.
In a roundabout way, this thread is all about working girls.
-
scared: