The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on October 29, 2008, 11:22:25 AM
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So we take out a service contract and arrange for the man to come and tinker with the boiler.
"He will be there between noon and 6 on Monday"
tunble:
He wasn't. evil:
Mrs Nick had a good shout at them. cussing: cussing:
"He will be there between 8 and 11 on Wednesday."
tunble:
No he's not, the evil bastard. evil:
Time to make a little call, I think evil:
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I expect the engineers are drawing lots to see who has to go to the Temple of Doom.
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evil:
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At least you work from home. Count yourself lucky you don't have to take time off work to be there.
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I have, of course, told them that I have taken time off work eveilgrin:
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They have sent a man to service the boiler.He declares it to be faulty and can't fix it until "hopefully tomorrow"
We now have no heating or hot water cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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They have sent a man to service the boiler.He declares it to be faulty and can't fix it until "hopefully tomorrow"
We now have no heating or hot water cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Still.... at lest it didn't wait 'til Xmas eve this year... whistle:
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I have, of course, told them that I have taken time off work eveilgrin:
You little fibber. noooo:
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My breath is condensing in front of my face now cussing:
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British Gas are shite in my experience...
We had a ten star gold/platinum/diamond service plan with them for years... then the boiler packed-up and they claimed it was obsolete and couldn't be fixed... new boiler mate, they don't make these any more, etc.
I managed to find the parts at a local plumber for about 2p and forced them to repair it... eveilgrin:
Maintenance contracts with British Gas are as useful as as an extremely useless thing... noooo:
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My breath is condensing in front of my face now cussing:
In the Wench House that would mean that you are now allowed to put the heating on.
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The fault turns out to be a fault made by the installer. "If we shop him he will lose his CORGI registration" said the Gas Man.
I called the installer. The Gas Man spoke unto him. Forthrightly
He is on the way round eveilgrin:
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My breath is condensing in front of my face now cussing:
In the Wench House that would mean that you are now allowed to put the heating on.
If only he could happy001
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evil:
I may have to fire up The Range!
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evil:
I may have to fire up The Range!
'Cept the new roof men prolly blocked the chimney! point:
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That vents elsewhere, I will have you know
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evil:
I may have to fire up The Range!
And with those fateful words the local Fire Bridage is now frantically trying to find safer jobs, like a blaze at an explosives depot to cover. whistle:
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My fingers have gone blue cry:
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Circulation problems ~ probably to do with your chest infection.
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My chest is perfick. The boiler is fooked!
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I'm assuming you have electricity though? If so then start making hot drinks. As you get colder your body will restrict blood flow to the extremities in order to preserve heat in your core, hence the blueish fingers. Hot drinks will alleviate that to a degree.
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If I stick themin the drinks like?
I am hatching a microwave plan.Heat stuff up in that and place the hot objects around the house.
PS I have now gone entirely blue. I am going out in the car for a bit of a drive,like
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Make a bloody hot water bottle for crying out loud!
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I haven't got any rubber evil:
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Is there a hot water bottle in the house?
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No
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Make a hot Drink Nick Banghead
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Then switch the oven on and sit in front of it. Make yourself a cup of tea and bring the duvet downstairs.
Have you got at least two pairs of socks on, a t-shirt, shirt and a jumper?
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I want my boiler back sad24:
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So do we Nick, so do we. But in the meantime please make yourself a cup of coffee or something.
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I am going to make a very hot chilli! evil:
What we don't eat we can smear on our blue bodies
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Woad?
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You are Jonathan Ross and I claim my £5
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Woad?
This is Nick we are talking about Wenchy, it should be "Woad is me" whistle:
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He's not cold.... he's just decorating too... point:
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He is celebrating the smurfs 50th Anniversary!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcybercoltd.com%2Ftropicatblog%2FInjured_Smurf.jpg&hash=3a2594d0b1fd0ce2f088cd603403103d4fcc08bc)
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happy001
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Find some tame Catholics outside, slaughter them and then burn them in the range. A "win-win" situation.
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Find some tame Catholics outside, slaughter them and then burn them in the range. A "win-win" situation.
Too late... I suspect he has frozen to death by now... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsick002.gif&hash=1aadf330a6822d0bba32319ef54bfdab13278de6) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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Find some tame Catholics outside, slaughter them and then burn them in the range. A "win-win" situation.
Too late... I suspect he has frozen to death by now... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsick002.gif&hash=1aadf330a6822d0bba32319ef54bfdab13278de6) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Dont be daft BM, this is Nick we are talking about. To have survived all his years of Nick-o-ray exposure he has become the real life equivalent of Captain Scarlet. He'll be back soon. whistle:
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My car battery was flat. Banghead Been and spent £70 on a new one cussing:. Now the radio is fooked! cussing: cussing:
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may have been the radio draining the battery then. whistle:
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No. It lost the code!
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DaVinci?
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No. It lost the code!
It'll be something easy to remember like... whistle:
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Fibonacci?
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Burn them. Burn them all. It is salvation!
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Mrs Nick is Catholic. I may start with her. Ford will kindly charge me £30 to put the code in Banghead Banghead
Unless anyone knows a way round it,like
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Try here:
Radio Code UK (http://www.radio-code.co.uk/)
Not sure what the charge is but it'll be less than Ford I would guess.
Failing that why not ring Growler? He's in the Trade like.
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Try here:
Radio Code UK (http://www.radio-code.co.uk/)
Not sure what the charge is but it'll be less than Ford I would guess.
Thanks. To use that I have to remove the radio from the car.This requires a tool. A tool I do not have cussing:
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See above re Growler.
Maybe the serial number is listed on the handbook/manual?
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Have you changed the code since you had the car. If not and you bought it new then it will be the default code normally something like 9999. You could try googling and see if that gives you any codes, the problem may be though that you only get a certain amount of attempts before it locks itself.
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Anywho, British gas boiler servicing.
I know a bit about this as a few years ago I moonlighted at the call centre that handles the calls regarding boiler breakdown/service contracts etc.
It was a real eye opener and no mistake.
I could tell you some stories like. whistle:
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I'm listening like..
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I'm listening like..
Well like.
At the time BG had about half a dozen call centres across the country. They took the decision that after 9pm all call centres would close and all calls would be routed through Leicester.
I got the evening shift (7 - 11pm) through a temp agency. I was told there would be 2 weeks training prior to going solo on the call centre. One week class room then one week pairing with an experienced operator.
In reality those of us that could string two words together went solo about day 3.
BG also showed immaculate timing by introducing this in the autum when boilers were being switched on for the first time in months up and down the country and therefore breaking down left, right and centre.
I didnt matter where you lived. Lerwick or London. Cardiff or Newcastle you came through to TG and Co in Leicester.
Shall I go on?
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I am sure you coped splendidly! noooo:
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Have you changed the code since you had the car. If not and you bought it new then it will be the default code normally something like 9999. You could try googling and see if that gives you any codes, the problem may be though that you only get a certain amount of attempts before it locks itself.
I tried 9999 and it didn't werk. 10 attempts and the radio gets locked!
Thanks anyhoo
Have asked Growler for help,like scared2:
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Shall I go on?
Yes
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I'm listening like..
Well like.
At the time BG had about half a dozen call centres across the country. They took the decision that after 9pm all call centres would close and all calls would be routed through Leicester.
I got the evening shift (7 - 11pm) through a temp agency. I was told there would be 2 weeks training prior to going solo on the call centre. One week class room then one week pairing with an experienced operator.
In reality those of us that could string two words together went solo about day 3.
BG also showed immaculate timing by introducing this in the autum when boilers were being switched on for the first time in months up and down the country and therefore breaking down left, right and centre.
I didnt matter where you lived. Lerwick or London. Cardiff or Newcastle you came through to TG and Co in Leicester.
Shall I go on?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Featdrink033.gif&hash=0dc66da5e6c6cd57ddbc96b4e9028b22c4830e97) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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Have you changed the code since you had the car. If not and you bought it new then it will be the default code normally something like 9999. You could try googling and see if that gives you any codes, the problem may be though that you only get a certain amount of attempts before it locks itself.
I tried 9999 and it didn't werk. 10 attempts and the radio gets locked!
Thanks anyhoo
Have asked Growler for help,like scared2:
It'll be written in the owners manual you dolt (unless you bought it from a bloke in the pub)
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Anywho, British gas boiler servicing.
I know a bit about this as a few years ago I moonlighted at the call centre that handles the calls regarding boiler breakdown/service contracts etc.
It was a real eye opener and no mistake.
I could tell you some stories like. whistle:
We hate british gas..they just doubled our monthly payment and we are in credit, then can go an run...cos we aint paying that every month, no Tg get on phone an sort the robbing b*******ds asap!
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Before I go any further, a word to the wise.
If you have a contract with BG to repair your boiler and they wont come out and fix it within the 24 hour period you signed up for, then whatever you do, do not try and play the 'I have a gas leak' card to try and get an engineer out to you.
Operators are well trained in this and will in fact relish it. They will ask you if you are REALLY sure if you can smell gas.
if you persist you will in fact get an engineer round very fast. However, it will be a Transco engineer who will cut off your gas supply. If you dont let them in the will cut off the supply from outside and leave you with nothing. I repeat, they will cut you off. They will fix nothing.
It will then take you days if not weeks (and money) to get re-connected.
Never play the 'I can smell gas' card unless you can in fact do so.
If you can smell gas the outcome will be the same as above but you will not die.
The only moment of job satisfacion I got when I was there was taking a call from an elderly lady in the scottish highlands who told me she was really worried about her central heating system. I asked her if she could smell gas, she said 'No, but there is water pouring through the light fitting in my living room ceiling'.
She offered to go round the house and turn all the lights on to see if there was any more water pouring through light switches etc. I told her 'No, just stay on the phone and talk to me' while pressing the emergency button. After a two eared phone conversation with her and Transco she was saved. In fact an emergency crew were around her house within 30 minutes.
That was the one and only high point of the whole experience.
Also, never swear at someone on the helpdesk...
Shall I go on? I dont want to bore anyone.
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worthy:
Tell us more oh great one... cloud9:
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OK then.
As I say never swear at a nice operator. The rules governing what an operator can and cannot do on the phone are rigid. But, if an operator is sworn at, threatened etc, they have full support to hang up the phone and BLOCK THE NUMBER FROM THE CALL CENTRE.
You will never get through again which will serve you right you bad tempered bas... Sorry... Got carried away.
Anyway, next, the 24 hour call out commitment and the small print and what the operator sees on his screen and what he tells you.
In later chapters...
What to do when Joe Public says 'I want to speak to your supervisor'
How to sell a person a burglar alarm when they ring you to complain thier boiler has blown up and the unwashed kids are beginning to stink.
Also, the strict definition of '24 Hours'
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It gets werse noooo:
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OK then.
As I say never swear at a nice operator. The rules governing what an operator can and cannot do on the phone are rigid. But, if an operator is sworn at, threatened etc, they have full support to hang up the phone and BLOCK THE NUMBER FROM THE CALL CENTRE.
You will never get through again which will serve you right you bad tempered bas... Sorry... Got carried away.
Anyway, next, the 24 hour call out commitment and the small print and what the operator sees on his screen and what he tells you.
In later chapters...
What to do when Joe Public says 'I want to speak to your supervisor'
How to sell a person a burglar alarm when they ring you to complain thier boiler has blown up and the unwashed kids are beginning to stink.
Also, the strict definition of '24 Hours'
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Featdrink062.gif&hash=b3abaf9b2c446ed752be0e69a9bda8266b12e368) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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It gets werse noooo:
TG's tale or your predicament?
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Both
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You survived the night then.
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We huddled together for warmth. Fookin freezio this morning surrender:
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We huddled together for warmth. Fookin freezio this morning surrender:
eyes:
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Both
Charming.
Frostbite yet?
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My willy has vanished eeek:
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Nobody leave the room!
Call the police!
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My willy has vanished eeek:
The old walnut whip effect. rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thechocolatereview.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F05%2Fwalnutwhipwi1.jpg&hash=fb64886ae85fa86e1caa9cda0f3e6d0f07bd144b)
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My willy has vanished eeek:
The old walnut whip effect. rubschin:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thechocolatereview.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F05%2Fwalnutwhipwi1.jpg&hash=fb64886ae85fa86e1caa9cda0f3e6d0f07bd144b)
Ahhh... Walnut Whip.... cloud9:
Do you remember when they had a nut at the bottom too... Happy days.... sad24:
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You mean they don't now eeek: What's the world coming to?
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You mean they don't now eeek: What's the world coming to?
Credit crunch prolly... noooo:
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As opposed to a nut crunch ;)
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As opposed to a nut crunch ;)
Precisely...
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I worked for British Gas up 'til '94.
Just thought I'd mention it, whistle:
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Ran the car round to the village garage (Growler knows it) and explained the prob. They got the radio out and we found the code written on it. Gorrit werking, like and replaced it.
Offered the guy a tenner, which he refused eeek:
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I worked for British Gas up 'til '94.
Just thought I'd mention it, whistle:
Go and fix Nick's boiler for us would you...?
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They are coming back at 2.00.
Fingerless gloves and balaclava till then evil:
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They are coming back at 2.00.
Fingerless gloves and balaclava till then evil:
Are you off thieving then...? rubschin:
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I worked for British Gas up 'til '94.
Just thought I'd mention it, whistle:
Go and fix Nick's boiler for us would you...?
The house of 'doom'. eeek:
Yea, righ' on brother! noooo:
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I could let you have some apples
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Ran the car round to the village garage (Growler knows it) and explained the prob. They got the radio out and we found the code written on it. Gorrit werking, like and replaced it.
Offered the guy a tenner, which he refused eeek:
No I don't, and.......... ::)
WHY in our dear Lords name, was the code written on the back of the radio?
Sort of defeats the purpose of the exercise imho? Yes? rubschin:
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Wellif you can get the serial number off the back, which is what we were after, you can put it into a website and get the code anyhoo.
It was Hardings!
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I worked for British Gas up 'til '94.
Just thought I'd mention it, whistle:
Go and fix Nick's boiler for us would you...?
The house of 'doom'. eeek:
Yea, righ' on brother! noooo:
Good point... noooo:
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Wellif you can get the serial number off the back, which is what we were after, you can put it into a website and get the code anyhoo.
It was Hardings!
Didn't know that. rubschin:
Sort of defeats the purpose of the exercise imho.
Hardings? Nice people to deal with. My favourite cussie. cloud9:
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Never been there before.Free help. Means I don't have to give dosh to the bastards at M53 Ford cloud9:
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Never been there before.Free help. Means I don't have to give dosh to the bastards at M53 Ford cloud9:
That was indeed very generous of them, but don't be expecting free service every time.
Chris the mechanic fix it for you? He's a good lad, and a fine techy. Doesn't do 'foreigners' though unfortunately. noooo:
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Some old chap with a gammy leg
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Some old chap with a gammy leg
Alec? Wouldn't have thought he'd have known how to take a radio out tbh! eeek:
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He did struggle a bit and I had to put it back, like
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Never been there before.Free help. Means I don't have to give dosh to the bastards at M53 Ford cloud9:
That was indeed very generous of them, but don't be expecting free service every time.
Chris the mechanic fix it for you? He's a good lad, and a fine techy. Doesn't do 'foreigners' though unfortunately. noooo:
They were obviously desperate to get rid of him ASAP - they didn't want Nick-o-Rays to infect the office/till as well as the workshop... noooo:
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While I was there they realised they had "lost" a car eeek:
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While I was there they realised they had "lost" a car eeek:
rubschin:
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It can't be a coincidence. noooo:
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They looked a bit sweaty. Had the papers, like, and the keys, but car nowhere to be seen. point:
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It can't be a coincidence. noooo:
They didn't stand a chance... noooo:
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They looked a bit sweaty. Had the papers, like, and the keys, but car nowhere to be seen. point:
Oh dear. Lift and grab during the night p'raps? eeek:
I'll find out about it all tomorrow when I go in there.
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I am waiting for the Gas Man like. 2.00 he said. My hopes dwindle sad24:
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My hopes dwindle sad24:
As did your willy. ;)
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I am waiting for the Gas Man like. 2.00 he said. My hopes dwindle sad24:
He's got twenty minutes yet... whistle:
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Acorn sad24:
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Acorn sad24:
Sounds like your acorns fell on stony ground... point:
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I am fookin bloo and freezin like
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I am fookin bloo and freezin like
Stony then... noooo:
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He's here cloud9:
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He's here cloud9:
He won't have the right bits then... noooo:
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scared2:
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PUT A FOOKIN JUMPER ON
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Don't worry Nick, any second now you'll hear the comforting 'woof' as the boiler fires up.
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I have five layers on at present evil:
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Don't worry Nick, any second now you'll hear the comforting 'woof' as the boiler fires up.
It will take an hour he says evil:
And since we have stone floors and such it will takew about 6 hours to rewarm the place evil:
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Have you wrapped yourself in the duvet?
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That may be next.But I will look like an idiot
I need warming by a large ample breasted wumman.
Volunteers?
If not, Growler could come round for a man hug,like eeek:
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Don't worry Nick, any second now you'll hear the comforting 'woof' as the boiler fires up.
More likely a huge "Whoooosh" as the house blows up! whistle:
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At present that would be a blessing. If this don't werk out we are in the Travel Inn tonight evil:
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Don't worry Nick, any second now you'll hear the comforting 'woof' as the boiler fires up.
More likely a huge "Whoooosh" as the house blows up! whistle:
Thank you BM. I feed the straight lines...
(took long than I expected though)
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Bastardo! eveilgrin:
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Don't worry Nick, any second now you'll hear the comforting 'woof' as the boiler fires up.
More likely a huge "Whoooosh" as the house blows up! whistle:
Thank you BM. I feed the straight lines...
(took long than I expected though)
Sorry... redface:
I was out walking the dog... I did keep my eyes to the north tho looking for the big explosion... whistle:
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eeek:
If you expect to see the explosion then I'm likely to be in blast zone!
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eeek:
If you expect to see the explosion then I'm likely to be in blast zone!
Well... I figured the gas man was there... he prolly had some fireworks in the microwave house ready for next week, etc.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy55%2Fsilverbeam%2FCSM%2520Blog%2FNuke.jpg&hash=a65a57ff2192a3c5580a4d43d5d13ed6b785c9a6)
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warmth cloud9:
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warmth cloud9:
All fixed 'til Xmas eve then Nick! point:
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No, the boiler exploded and the house is burning down, but at least Captain Calamity is warm now. whistle:
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No, the boiler exploded and the house is burning down, but at least Captain Calamity is warm now. whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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evil:
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evil:
Packed up again has it...? noooo:
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Snuggley warm cloud9:
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Snuggley warm cloud9:
Thermostat is stuck.
Explosion around 3AM then. . .
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Anyhoo...
The gas boiler packed up in Windsor - it is bloody freezing here...
LL got a local man in last week to quote - spent hours and came up with some excellent ideas for changing the boiler, moving things around, etc. Came back today to go over it with me, discuss some options, etc. Can come next week, remove the old boiler, hot water tank, header tank and cold water tank... replace boiler in a different place, put a sink in the downstairs bog (where the old boiler was), replace a leaky radiator, change some other bits and pieces which are now illegal, etc.
British Gas man came this morning (to give an alternate quote)... was here five minutes (car parked on yellow lines)... promised to call back this arvo with a price... Of course he didn't call... noooo:
Guess who is getting the werk...
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You are getting a man in! eeek:
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Yes... You're not allowed to do it yourself like... noooo:
I'm fitting the new water softener tho... what could go wrong with that? Shrugs:
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How long are you here for rubschin:
lol:
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How long are you here for rubschin:
lol:
evil:
Two weeks!
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And why, with all this time on your hands, can you not answer your PMs?
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Cos he is drinking Tarrango ::)
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Banghead
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And why, with all this time on your hands, can you not answer your PMs?
I don't know the answer to your question... noooo:
Where are you staying?
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whacky115
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And why, with all this time on your hands, can you not answer your PMs?
I don't know the answer to your question... noooo:
Where are you staying?
You have another PM.
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Why am I not party to this conversation? cussing:
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It says 'Thank you for your offer of the sofa. We will all be there in time for lunch.'
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Why am I not party to this conversation? cussing:
You are!
I also PMd you with details of my plans.
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oh yes! redface: