The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on October 25, 2008, 01:44:40 PM
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Mrs GROWLER has decided to put upon us, and to be of good excercise for us all....US ALL???....to deliver 1000 copies of the new Yellow Pages in 2 weeks time, for £200.
Anyone got some spare oxygen masks and 4 pairs of roller skates going cheap like? ::)
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Deliver them where? rubschin:
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Mrs GROWLER has decided to put upon us, and to be of good excercise for us all....US ALL???....to deliver 1000 copies of the new Yellow Pages in 2 weeks time, for £200.
Anyone got some spare oxygen masks and 4 pairs of roller skates going cheap like? ::)
Dump them all in a skip... job done! happy088
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Deliver them where? rubschin:
Mersey?
Swamp 2 to create a new feature p'raps? rubschin:
Bonny night coming up too!! rubschin:
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Deliver them where? rubschin:
DING!! angel1
YOUR CELLAR!! ;)
Pleny of reading for all your customers whilst waiting for the arrival of Planet X.
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I thought this would be about the birthrate among illegal immigrants.
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Is that 200 before tax, like. Werking in the dark in the cold winter nights,with immensely heavy blocks of paper to be dragged about in the rain, using your petrol,like?
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Is that 200 before tax, like. Werking in the dark in the cold winter nights,with immensely heavy blocks of paper to be dragged about in the rain, using your petrol,like?
GROWLER jnr. doesn't pay tax .....YET. ::)
Nowt to do with me this, chief. noooo:
They'll no doubt be using me and my diesel as a 'donkey' however. Banghead
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It will cost you money and misery. Go for a long walk. They can nick some supermarket trollies
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It will cost you money and misery. Go for a long walk. They can nick some supermarket trollies
Funny you should say that, cus THAT is actually the plan.
Method of transportation of these wretched books is going to be courtesy of Morrisons.
You pay a quid to hire it anyway, so I'm simply extending the hire time next Friday night. ;)
Better wear me hoody and tape off the car number plates in case some jobs worthy security guard is watching the cctv whilst filling his face. ::)
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Oh no. You are sure to be arrested. Send Mrs Growler in your place eveilgrin:
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Oh no. You are sure to be arrested. Send Mrs Growler in your place eveilgrin:
No chance. She'd probably try putting the trolley in the back of the car complete with the weekly shop still in it. ::)
Besides, she only buys boring food, whereas I buy cake and stuff. cloud9:
Tis a good plan though ey? spider:
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You intend loading a load of shopping trolleys into the back of your car?
What could possibly go wrong?
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You intend loading a load of shopping trolleys into the back of your car?
What could possibly go wrong?
Just the one...per trip. Haven't got an artic you know! ::)
I pay me quid for hiring it as I say. No time limit restriction as far as I know, so why not?
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So you intend returning to the same place and "borrowing" a trolley each time without arousing suspicion?
Can I come and watch?
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaviationnation.com%2Fwp-content%2Fimages%2Fhandcuffs.JPG&hash=3b3a68e521557fe7e082893d181ebde3921cb507)
noooo:
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So you intend returning to the same place and "borrowing" a trolley each time without arousing suspicion?
Can I come and watch?
Absolutely NOT!
Start getting cocky and greedy, and that's how you get caught, believe me. noooo:
I'm NOT nickin' them anyway, just extending my hire.
I have every intention of takin' them back once they've served their purpose. In fact, as a token of my gratitude, I may well wheel it straight back into the store and place a nice Crimbo cake in it to purchase. cloud9:
See, I'm very thoughtful, and really appreciate their help.
You got a trolley you can borrow me then instead like? rubschin:
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No, supermarket trolleys are the werk of the devil.
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So you intend returning to the same place and "borrowing" a trolley each time without arousing suspicion?
Can I come and watch?
Absolutely NOT!
Start getting cocky and greedy, and that's how you get caught, believe me. noooo:
I'm NOT nickin' them anyway, just extending my hire.
I have every intention of takin' them back once they've served their purpose. In fact, as a token of my gratitude, I may well wheel it straight back into the store and place a nice Crimbo cake in it to purchase. cloud9:
See, I'm very thoughtful, and really appreciate their help.
You got a trolley you can borrow me then instead like? rubschin:
Why don't you just take it back loaded with Yellow Pages... It'll be worth a quid to get rid of them all! point:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV215g39.jpg&hash=c3447779312eddfef8ae02de733d8bb311972d6a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV215g39)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV215g39.jpg&hash=c3447779312eddfef8ae02de733d8bb311972d6a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV215g39)
Amen...
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So you intend returning to the same place and "borrowing" a trolley each time without arousing suspicion?
Can I come and watch?
Absolutely NOT!
Start getting cocky and greedy, and that's how you get caught, believe me. noooo:
I'm NOT nickin' them anyway, just extending my hire.
I have every intention of takin' them back once they've served their purpose. In fact, as a token of my gratitude, I may well wheel it straight back into the store and place a nice Crimbo cake in it to purchase. cloud9:
See, I'm very thoughtful, and really appreciate their help.
You got a trolley you can borrow me then instead like? rubschin:
noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thebritishshoppe.com%2FMerchant2%2Fgraphics%2F00000001%2FScotts%2520porridge%2520oats%2520large.jpg&hash=fdb31b5d21729957f4c3901fe9804132affda2e1)
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Hardly the crime of the century this is it? ::)
P'raps I should just go down the Mersey then like. Bound to be a gaggle of them down there.
What you lot suggest I use then....EY?
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Shopping trolleys?
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2Fgx1N_w0A.jpg&hash=59342354832988d11fd05792832e8c3f4938347e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx1N_w0A)
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... What you lot suggest I use then....EY?
You could get help from the Yellow pages if you've got one handy like
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drumroll:
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... What you lot suggest I use then....EY?
You could get help from the Yellow pages if you've got one handy like
happy001
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I did this some years ago when I was hard up like.
Piece o' p*ss ~ but don't dump them 'cos they do check that they have been delivered.
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Mrs GROWLER has proudly unveiled the 'tool for the job' this aft.,....and I DON'T mean me either before you start. ::)
A ferkin' oap's shopping basket on wheels that she got from the local tat shop for a tenner! eeek:
I give up. ::)
Morrisons beckons within the hour. whistle:
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I bet he's been locked up noooo:
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It'll all end in tears
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV2pgiZA.jpg&hash=38e07c865ae00fe9055560585970644d4ed08635) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2pgiZA)
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It'll all end in tears
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV2pgiZA.jpg&hash=38e07c865ae00fe9055560585970644d4ed08635) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2pgiZA)
;D
Jackass the movie... happy088
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So you intend returning to the same place and "borrowing" a trolley each time without arousing suspicion?
Can I come and watch?
Absolutely NOT!
Start getting cocky and greedy, and that's how you get caught, believe me. noooo:
I'm NOT nickin' them anyway, just extending my hire.
I have every intention of takin' them back once they've served their purpose. In fact, as a token of my gratitude, I may well wheel it straight back into the store and place a nice Crimbo cake in it to purchase. cloud9:
See, I'm very thoughtful, and really appreciate their help.
You got a trolley you can borrow me then instead like? rubschin:
noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thebritishshoppe.com%2FMerchant2%2Fgraphics%2F00000001%2FScotts%2520porridge%2520oats%2520large.jpg&hash=fdb31b5d21729957f4c3901fe9804132affda2e1)
Porage? What happened to Porrige or even Porridge, is it an EU directive?
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Well it shold all be over by now. We all wonder how it went, like.
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Well it shold all be over by now. We all wonder how it went, like.
Oh no it's not. noooo:
The plan didn't go to plan on Friday night. Security were sniffin' around the car park, so it was deemed too risky.
Someone 'bubble' me? rubschin:
Plan B will be put in place at just past midnight tonight at the local Tesco late shop when they close...at midnight. whistle:
If all that fails it's oap's bloody shopping trolley tomorrow. Banghead
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point:
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happy001
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Trolley less. Banghead
Plan 3 now in force.
Daughter on inset day DRAGGED out of bed to help. lol:
Mrs GROWLER off to the local Rugby club to watch a H&S video, oap's trolley in tow. ::)
I'm on me way to Swamp 2 for the trailer.
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It's not going well,is it?
Sill, what can possibly go wrong now?
(Fetches popcorn)
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It's not going well,is it?
Sill, what can possibly go wrong now?
(Fetches popcorn)
Trailer nicked? ::)
I've worked out that this lot, if stacked up, would be a mountain of paper over 60 feet in height! eeek:
That is one hell of a high bonfire!! lol:
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Can you look up a number for me, like? For some reason our new Yellow Pages hasn't been delivered. ::)
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Can you look up a number for me, like? For some reason our new Yellow Pages hasn't been delivered. ::)
THEY soon will be! scared2:
Just sat down for a dump....best place for thinking I find, and realise my calculations were wrong. ::)
85 bloody feet tall pile of 'books'!!
AGHHHHHHHHHH! eeek:
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Have you thought about how much they weigh? rubschin:
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I know a good chiropractor eyes:
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I know a good chiropractor eyes:
and an undertaker. .
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3 bloody hours and 2 trips to get them all back 'ere. ::)
Not helped by me forgetting to take the wheel for the trailer like. ::)
The 2 Mooses are currently out delivering and arguing. lol:
Seems Mini Moose has already gone off the planned route, and we're only 40 down so far.
She's also complaining and refusing to wheel the oap's trolley along as it makes her look 'old' apparently.
Oh, the joy!
Work for me this avvy is looking like potential heaven at the mo. ;)
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You should go and nip off to the pics. QUantum of SOlace is excellent, like
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You should go and nip off to the pics. QUantum of SOlace is excellent, like
Nah. I'm on 'standby'. cloud9:
3 rings on me mobby, and I have to shift me bum, and drive around the corner with the next bundle.
I'm not allowed to deliver apparently, because I'm not doing it 'right'? confused:
Ring the bell and wait...my arse. whistle:
What do they think I am. Yellow Pages mobile advisory service? ::)
I know 1 has been destroyed already, as a fully grown rabid Lion ate it when I shoved it through the letter box. scared2:
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Why do the words Mountains and Molehills keep coming into my mind? tunble:
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Christ, just chuck em on the back step. That's what they do here
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Christ, just chuck em on the back step. That's what they do here
I was, but I'm BANNED and in the dog 'ouse now.
Another cuppa anyone!? lol:
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Pop round later.
I am alone this evening eyes:
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Christ, just chuck em on the back step. That's what they do here
I was, but I'm BANNED and in the dog 'ouse now.
Another cuppa anyone!? lol:
I'll have a glass of wine instead thanks... ;)
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Pop round later.
I am alone this evening eyes:
Bring Vaseline...
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Why do the words Mountains and Molehills keep coming into my mind? tunble:
Dunno, but on such a beautiful sunny Autumunal afternoon, I should be walkin' up one. ::)
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I've been summonsed. ::)
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For the recent motoring offence (alleged) or to deliver supplies to the deliverers?
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For the recent motoring offence (alleged) or to deliver supplies to the deliverers?
Mrs Growler expects. I have met her. The daughter cub is scarier!
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For the recent motoring offence (alleged) or to deliver supplies to the deliverers?
daughter cub is scarier!
Correct. whistle:
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Christ, just chuck em on the back step. That's what they do here
Apparently, alledgedly, they check that they've been delivered, properly, per instructions video.....that I didn't watch, as I don't actually do instructions like. noooo:
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Mine has always just been left on the doorstep like.
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Christ, just chuck em on the back step. That's what they do here
Apparently, alledgedly, they check that they've been delivered, properly, per instructions video.....that I didn't watch, as I don't actually do instructions like. noooo:
They do a random sample of calls to check that the deliveries have taken place, correctly. It's in their contract with "YELL" ~ However the chances of anyone complaining that you left the book on the step are remote as most people expect nothing else.
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We have to go to the telephone company offices to get ours... Greek or English versions are available like...
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We have to go to the telephone company offices to get ours... Greek or English versions are available like...
Small wonder you can't find a man to get in.
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We have to go to the telephone company offices to get ours... Greek or English versions are available like...
Small wonder you can't find a man to get in.
You're right, we don't have one! lol:
Anyhooo... who looks at a Yellow Pages or 'Phone book these days (apart from the delivery boy) - it's all on line isn't it?
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We have to go to the telephone company offices to get ours... Greek or English versions are available like...
Small wonder you can't find a man to get in.
You're right, we don't have one! lol:
Anyhooo... who looks at a Yellow Pages or 'Phone book these days (apart from the delivery boy) - it's all on line isn't it?
Googling "Stavros ~ no job too small" is not going to get you very far.
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Mine has always just been left on the doorstep like.
I know. 8)
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We have to go to the telephone company offices to get ours... Greek or English versions are available like...
Small wonder you can't find a man to get in.
You're right, we don't have one! lol:
Anyhooo... who looks at a Yellow Pages or 'Phone book these days (apart from the delivery boy) - it's all on line isn't it?
Googling "Stavros ~ no job too small" is not going to get you very far.
He wouldn't answer the 'phone if you found his number... and if he did he wouldn't turn up... noooo:
All the 'Man with a van', 'no job too small', plumbers, decorators are expats now...
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Mine has always just been left on the doorstep like.
I know. 8)
You deliver in Essex as well! Blimey.
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Mine has always just been left on the doorstep like.
I know. 8)
You deliver in Essex as well! Blimey.
"No Job Too Big" for our Growler
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He brought his bowels here earler, we have no need to kep them lying around noooo:
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I haven't used a phone book in years. I find them cumbersome. We use online resources. Ours go in the recycling as soon as they arrive. There should be an opt out feature.
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You should mention that to Mr G. He could get paid for burning them, like
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The Yellow Pages mountain has come down to a mere 70 feet now, but has caused mucho rumpuso's during it's sizeable contraction.
I've been all but banished from helping due to my apparent 'overly energetic, couldn't give a toss gung ho Jeremy Clarkson style' of disposing of them', whatever tf THAT means? confused:
Stuuf em, all of them. Last time I offer to help. Banghead
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Growler gets shut of his frustrations
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TECHIewrJY
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The Yellow Pages mountain has come down to a mere 70 feet now, but has caused mucho rumpuso's during it's sizeable contraction.
I've been all but banished from helping due to my apparent 'overly energetic, couldn't give a toss gung ho Jeremy Clarkson style' of disposing of them', whatever tf THAT means? confused:
Stuuf em, all of them. Last time I offer to help. Banghead
So you are so bad at delivering them that you have been banned from doing so. happy088
Excellent happ096
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The Yellow Pages mountain has come down to a mere 70 feet now, but has caused mucho rumpuso's during it's sizeable contraction.
I've been all but banished from helping due to my apparent 'overly energetic, couldn't give a toss gung ho Jeremy Clarkson style' of disposing of them', whatever tf THAT means? confused:
Stuuf em, all of them. Last time I offer to help. Banghead
So you are so bad at delivering them that you have been banned from doing so. happy088
Excellent happ096
No, I was brilliant...imo...and was boxing them off in a ratio of 3/1 against them.
Grab an armful and leg it over garden walls hedges etc, not meander around up and down individual paths, knocking on doors, writing little messages out saying where you'd hid it. ::)
They'll still be delivering them on Crimbo day at this rate, and deliveries are now on hold until Thursday too.
I went out with GROWLER jnr last night to box 38 off.
Came to a bit of a premature end when I stumbled into someones flower bed.
Why can't folk have straight paths instaed of these fancy meandering ones.
Bloody murder in the pitch black...and they hurt. sad32:
Should be a GROWLER shaped impression amongst the winter pansies this morning at 23 Acacia Gardens. whistle: