The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on October 22, 2008, 01:39:46 PM
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Pastis has asked me to pass on the info that he has just received a text from Nick to say that he is in hospital. The text mentions a clot ~ whether in his blood or as a self description is unclear.
I had spoken to Mrs Nick by phone the morning and she told me he has a "Chest Problem" that had not at that time been diagnosed and more test results were awaited.
I know we all wish him well ~ updates will follow as and when they come to hand.
And before the ink is dry another text to say he is off for a scan and hopes to be home tonight. He is in his element surrounded by nurses ~ such a pity they all wear trousers these days.
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Thanks Snoops, (customers sometimes don't understand and keep one on the phone... ::))
I didn't know whether the smiley on the text was a eeek: or a eyes:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq1MrIYA.jpg&hash=0a7f1684efd8dcafd50a0f02793cbcd308144b02) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq1MrIYA)
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Well that's him finished with the Marlboro Lites anyway ~ I did warn him tunble:
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I was wonderin' where the old goat had gone. rubschin:
All the sarcasm and shite seemd to have stopped over the past couple of days, now we know why.
Send him an extremely large snarl from me please.
I'll ring him in a couple of days if he's up to it like.
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Poor Nick... send all our regards...
Hopefully the change of forum theme hasn't been a contributing factor... redface:
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Thanks for the info. Send him my regards as well.
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Nick should cut out the Marlboro's.
I have a stack of Golden Virginia at a reasonable price and it has been proved that hand rolled fags are actually good for you. Honest.
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Nick should cut out the Marlboro's.
I have a stack of Golden Virginia at a reasonable price and it has been proved that hand rolled fags are actually good for you. Honest.
How 'bout those electronic fags...? (http://smartsmoker.co.uk/index.php) rubschin:
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Given this is Nick I'm just waiting to hear that he has contracted several different lurgy's while in hospital, some of which are only found in the back of beyond.
Hope you feel better soon old buy.
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The USB lead gets in the way.
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The USB lead gets in the way.
doh:
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Given this is Nick I'm just waiting to hear that he has contracted several different lurgy's while in hospital, some of which are only found in the back of beyond.
Hope you feel better soon old buy.
Nah... I reckon the SuperBugs will be fleeing the hospital like rats abandoning a sinking ship! lol: lol: lol:
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You could have a point there. In fact I can see a moneymaker out of this. Captain Calamity's Hospital Debugging Service.
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I blame Donna.
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lol:
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How will he cope being seperated from Donna!?!? eeek:
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I'll offer to go in his place whistle:
I can feel a twinge coming on already.
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Wish him well and enquire if a thermos of turnip broth would help.
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Just logged on to read this sad news... nurses all wear trousers these days eeek:
(get well soon Nick)
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I am home having suffered all manner of humiliation, the last involving being pumped full of pressurised iodine and then inserted into some massive magnet.
I have shared wards with old ladies who wandered about all night.
I have been referred to as number 39.
After all this it turns our there is f8ck all wrong with me apart from some mild chest infection, for which I have to take antibiotics for five days.
I have been reading about the sacred prostitutes of Paphos! eveilgrin:
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First rule of being admitted to hospital ~ leave your dignity at home because they will only steal it anyway.
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And my arms, they are full of holes eeek:
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My record was achieved in the Lister Hospital Stevenage where they tried to take blood from my arms and hands 16 times in two hours whilst I was having a heart attack ~ in the end the nurses gave up (never be admitted at night if you can help it) and called the registrar from his slumbers ~ he took the blood from my foot and that f'ing hurts eeek:
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You're BACK?!
Nowt wrong with you apart from a birof man flue?! ::)
Bloody great tarty Jessie. ::)
I withdraw my best wishes for a speedy recovery forthwith then. evil:
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It was like spending three days in a Motroway service station, with no hope of excape. evil:
At onepoint the bastards actually inserted some sort of huge tap into my hand!
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It's called a Cannula and it enables them to put drugs straight into a vein if necessary.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nu-careproducts.co.uk%2FIMAGES%2FIVPRODUCTS%2Fcannula.gif&hash=c820059cbe1481e4f2d9452d0694bb1bd9164382)
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And what about having injections directly into your stomach then? Well, mine actually! evil:
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Known in the trade as "Bee Stings" 'cos they sting like f*ck. They are to bust any blood clots and/or prevent any from happening. Anyone with chest pains is given them on admission and usually every 12 hours until the medics are convinced you aren't having a heart attack. Since I take blood thinning stuff anyway these usually cause massive bruises that take weeks to go away. On one stay they bruised my stomach so much with these injections they ran out of places to stick the needles and started jabbing them into my shoulders and thighs.
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I am home having suffered all manner of humiliation, the last involving being pumped full of pressurised iodine and then inserted into some massive magnet.
I have shared wards with old ladies who wandered about all night.
I have been referred to as number 39.
After all this it turns our there is f8ck all wrong with me apart from some mild chest infection, for which I have to take antibiotics for five days.
I have been reading about the sacred prostitutes of Paphos! eveilgrin:
Welcome back - did they mention the fags...? whistle:
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Welcome back. How come you went into hospital in the first place? rubschin:
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the sacred prostitutes of Paphos!
In your case scared prostitutes. . . scared2:
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Nick should cut out the Marlboro's.
I have a stack of Golden Virginia at a reasonable price and it has been proved that hand rolled fags are actually good for you. Honest.
Absolutely, and they ronk too.
How much you payin' for your healthy baccy then MR?
Only £5 for 50g here. cloud9:
Lasts me 10 days, so that's a mere 50p a day instead of the £5 I was paying last year for those mamby pamby boxed things.
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After all this it turns our there is f8ck all wrong with me apart from some mild chest infection, for which I have to take antibiotics for five days.
I still blame Donna.
Glad it's nowt serious. happy088
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After all this it turns our there is f8ck all wrong with me apart from some mild chest infection, for which I have to take antibiotics for five days.
I still blame Donna.
Glad it's nowt serious. happy088
Yes, she gave him a pain in his wallet that spread to his chest... ;)
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I prefer the canulas, nurses seem to be able to get those in within seconds rather than poking around for a vein for five minutes!
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I prefer the canulas, nurses seem to be able to get those in within seconds rather than poking around for a vein for five minutes!
They have to put the cannulas into a vein ::)
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Welcome back. How come you went into hospital in the first place? rubschin:
You dial 999 from a lying down position. At least I did ::)
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Welcome back. How come you went into hospital in the first place? rubschin:
You dial 999 from a lying down position. At least I did ::)
And then people in green outfits turn up and shout at you as if you are either stupid or deaf before bundling you into an ambulance, asking a lot more damn fool questions the answers to which will then be written on a form. When you get to A&E a nurse will ask you many of the same questions and eventually a doctor, usually with a heavy Asian accent, will ask you the same questions. The questions and answers are now on three different pieces of paper and when they decide to admit you a nurse or ward secretary (depends on what time you are admitted) will perch on the edge of your bed, call you by your first name and ask you similar and sometimes the same questions. The following day, assuming you haven't either died or murdered someone in between times a more senior doctor in a suit will turn up and repeat the process. Eventually they will inform someone, usually not you, that you may go home BUT only after a further wait of a couple of hours whilst the pharmacy gets a prescription ready for you.
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Welcome back. How come you went into hospital in the first place? rubschin:
You dial 999 from a lying down position. At least I did ::)
Blue lights and two-tones...?
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Never two tones unless you are in cardiac arrest because "they frighten the patient". Always blue lights in case it's a heart attack but you can't see those from the back of the ambulance (for the same reason). Two tones are used to get to you but seldom to transport you.
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Never two tones unless you are in cardiac arrest because "they frighten the patient". Always blue lights in case it's a heart attack but you can't see those from the back of the ambulance (for the same reason). Two tones are used to get to you but seldom to transport you.
I got 'two-toned' into horepickle once, many years ago... I was 19... rubschin:
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I'm surprised it wasn't a chrome bell on the front bumper point:
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I'm surprised it wasn't a chrome bell on the front bumper point:
evil:
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Nick should cut out the Marlboro's.
I have a stack of Golden Virginia at a reasonable price and it has been proved that hand rolled fags are actually good for you. Honest.
Absolutely, and they ronk too.
How much you payin' for your healthy baccy then MR?
Only £5 for 50g here. cloud9:
Lasts me 10 days, so that's a mere 50p a day instead of the £5 I was paying last year for those mamby pamby boxed things.
The last lot I purchased was £4 for 50g, but it's usually £5. One 50g pouch will keep me going about 5 days, so I am obviously smoking too much!
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Welcome back. How come you went into hospital in the first place? rubschin:
You dial 999 from a lying down position. At least I did ::)
And then people in green outfits turn up and shout at you as if you are either stupid or deaf before bundling you into an ambulance, asking a lot more damn fool questions the answers to which will then be written on a form. When you get to A&E a nurse will ask you many of the same questions and eventually a doctor, usually with a heavy Asian accent, will ask you the same questions. The questions and answers are now on three different pieces of paper and when they decide to admit you a nurse or ward secretary (depends on what time you are admitted) will perch on the edge of your bed, call you by your first name and ask you similar and sometimes the same questions. The following day, assuming you haven't either died or murdered someone in between times a more senior doctor in a suit will turn up and repeat the process. Eventually they will inform someone, usually not you, that you may go home BUT only after a further wait of a couple of hours whilst the pharmacy gets a prescription ready for you.
Spot on (except add in a few more doctors). Also add in that Mrs Nick turns up while I am outside the house in the back of the ambulance and starts banging on side of it.
Decided to go out earlier and found my car battery had gone flat in my absence evil:
Asked Mrs Nick for the jump leads and she produced them and then asked what I was waiting for."Your Car," I suggested evil:
What did she expect me to attach them to??
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On the subject of over familar use of your first name by Hospital Staff.
In the Manchester Royal Infirmary on one occasion a fat staff nurse plonked herself on my bed and said "Just a few questions"
"OK" said I
She "Name?"
I told her
She "What do you like to be called?"
Me "Mr Snoopy will do ~ there is no need to be any more formal"
She "No I mean do you like being called Malc or Malcolm?"
Me "Nobody who wants to live calls me Malc and only my late Mother ever called me Malcolm"
Her (getting shirty) "Well what do they call you at home?"
Me "Daddy mostly"
Her "You are being difficult"
Me "No I am not I told you right at the start what to call me .... It's you who cannot work it out not me"
She stalked off in a huff that Wenchy would have been proud of.
Now here is the question ~ why do the nursing staff all want to call you by your Christian name but the Doctors always use Mr XXXXX and the Consultant will call you Sir?
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On the subject of over familar use of your first name by Hospital Staff.
In the Manchester Royal Infirmary on one occasion a fat staff nurse plonked herself on my bed and said "Just a few questions"
"OK" said I
She "Name?"
I told her
She "What do you like to be called?"
Me "Mr Snoopy will do ~ there is no need to be any more formal"
She "No I mean do you like being called Malc or Malcolm?"
Me "Nobody who wants to live calls me Malc and only my late Mother ever called me Malcolm"
Her (getting shirty) "Well what do they call you at home?"
Me "Daddy mostly"
Her "You are being difficult"
Me "No I am not I told you right at the start what to call me .... It's you who cannot work it out not me"
She stalked off in a huff that Wenchy would have been proud of.
Now here is the question ~ why do the nursing staff all want to call you by your Christian name but the Doctors always use Mr XXXXX and the Consultant will call you Sir?
Atta boy Malc lol:
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I am still puzzled rubschin:
Mal?
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Brother calls me Malc, Children call me Daddy, Wife had better not call me late for dinner lol:
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So what do nurses have to call you?
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Now here is the question ~ why do the nursing staff all want to call you by your Christian name but the Doctors always use Mr XXXXX and the Consultant will call you Sir?
When my Dad was in they omitted the Q&A because he was practically comatose; they called him by his first Christian name for nearly a week and couldn't understand why he never responded...
He always used his 2nd name lol:
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There was an old girl on my ward (oh yes, mixed wards) who was sort of pretending to be ga ga. The male staffnurse said he had to ask her a few questions. She mumbled something.
He said, "Can you give me your bank account details?"
She sat bolt up right and started slagging him off, then realised what she had done.No more ga ga!
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drumroll:
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So what do nurses have to call you?
I am quite happy with Sir until they are properly inroduced. Then Mr 8) is acceptable.
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There was an old girl on my ward (oh yes, mixed wards) who was sort of pretending to be ga ga. The male staffnurse said he had to ask her a few questions. She mumbled something.
He said, "Can you give me your bank account details?"
She sat bolt up right and started slagging him off, then realised what she had done.No more ga ga!
How did you persuade them you weren't ga ga?
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evil:
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There was an old girl on my ward (oh yes, mixed wards) who was sort of pretending to be ga ga. The male staffnurse said he had to ask her a few questions. She mumbled something.
He said, "Can you give me your bank account details?"
She sat bolt up right and started slagging him off, then realised what she had done.No more ga ga!
How did you persuade them you weren't ga ga?
How do you know he did. For all you know he could be in a straitjacket at the moment typing with his nose whistle:
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I am at home being cared for by
Cruella De Mrs Nick
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Now here is the question ~ why do the nursing staff all want to call you by your Christian name but the Doctors always use Mr XXXXX and the Consultant will call you Sir?
Back when I was a student nurse it was part of the training, the idea being that it helps to relax the patient. Of course a degree of common sense was also needed for it to work.
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a degree of common sense was also needed for it to work.
Quite evil:
I was quite content to be called 39
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a degree of common sense was also needed for it to work.
Quite evil:
I was quite content to be called 39
Called by your waist size???
Love and kisses, 32...
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My number evil:
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My number evil:
You are not number, you are a FREE MAN! And don't forget it!
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Who is Number One?
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Who is Number One?
whistle:
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Who is Number One?
You are number Six...
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I'm certainly number 3 in our household (of three)
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I used to be number 4, till the cat died, like
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Damn! I forgot the cat ~ I'm number 4. It's fortunate the fish arn't very demanding or I'd be in double figures. eeek:
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I feel like number 2 this morning. surrender:
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Been at the spirits cupboard again? noooo:
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Been at the spirits cupboard again? noooo:
surrender:
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Brasso prolly.
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I feel like number 2 this morning. surrender:
Take a newspaper with you... whistle: