The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on September 20, 2008, 01:45:52 PM
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This time it is yet another branch of the Dept Work and Pensions.
On page two they ask for my wife's NI Number ~ I complete that without difficulty.
On page six they ask for my wife's Employee Number AND her NI Number ~ again I complete that
On Page nine they ask for the names and dates of birth of my children. These will not have changed since the last form I completed, nor from the one before that, nor the one before that and so on back to the time they were each born. I complete this section.
Then on page ten they ask if we receive Child Benefit for these children ~ They know fvcking well we do but I tick yes and, as instructed move to page eleven (Had I ticked no there were more questions such as who does claim child benefit for these children?)
On page eleven they ask who the child benefit is paid to, what is the amount paid and the reference number.
Now they know how much because they set the friggin amount but what really boils my urine is that the reference number is the same as it has always been and is my wife's NI number. Every year we go through this performance. Why would any of it change unless they changed it? Banghead
What steaming pile of camel droppings designs these forms? Angry9:
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If you have to fill them in i presume that some numpty gets the job of typing the whole lot into a computer... again... ::)
It is obviously some ridiculous job creation scheme to keep the unemployment numbers down... paid for by the great British taxpayer of course... noooo:
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Precisely angry041:
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Precisely angry041:
I just watched Question Time on i-player - the guy from Next was complaining about just that - form filling and unnecessary bureaucracy... noooo:
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Good rant Snoopy. But camel droppings don't steam - I have seen the evidence.
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evil: They do at London Zoo but I accept that in Egypt where the ambient temperature is probably much higher than the body temperature of the camel they would not.
Christ that sounds pompous ~ Next you know I'll be claiming to have be the Ambassador to Ompah Lompah Land's dog for most of my pre-kennel letting career. ;)
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evil: They do at London Zoo but I accept that in Egypt where the ambient temperature is probably much higher than the body temperature of the camel they would not.
Christ that sounds pompous ~ Next you know I'll be claiming to have be the Ambassador to Ompah Lompah Land's dog for most of my pre-kennel letting career. ;)
Ambient temperature... of course! doh:
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It has been said before, but it worth repeating ;-
Snoopy knows his shit ;-)
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lol: razz:
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Sympathies on the form filling; when we used to have to do this for our parents we (sis & I) found it well nigh impossible to get into the necessary mindset to meet their demands. Banghead
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I find it very hard to suspend believe in reasonableness so start at a disadvantage. Then there is the sheer repetitiveness of the questions. Do they think they are going to "trip me up" and expose me as a fraud? I have three children at school, they know this, they pay me a child benefit based on that fact. They know when the children will leave school ~ they know when they have a day off sick for God's sake and too many of those would bring the Police round ....... so why keep asking me? cussing:
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I bloody hate form filling.They always ask the wrong questions. Trying to claim something or other in Battersea about 20 years ago they decided my answers were so obtuse (One Was"Do you normally work for part or parts of the year only?" To which I answered "Sometimes") that they gave me a form designed exclusively for seasonal Herring Fishermen! noooo:
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I hate it. And I know that one day I'm going to have to confront it again. I can still recall vividly the feelings on having to deal with the NHS on finding out my mum had terminal leukaemia and being questioned (suspiciously, it felt) about assets, income, dependencies et alia by some woman administrator who would have fitted a Stasi uniform perfectly evil:
I've been interrogated by Russian immigration control and frankly it was easier; they were bored and indifferent. The woman from the NHS Admin verged on the vindictive noooo:
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I claimed DLA for my Dad. The claim took ages to process and he died."Never mind,"said the lady at the DHSS, "He will get his arrears." Banghead
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Unbelievable ~ but sadly also only too believable.
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In my earlier days at my old job, I was the "guru" who knew all processes mortgage related. Thus I was promoted and charged with writing all the new, more efficient procedures, designing the relevant forms and delivering all the training. I loved it - long before my IT days.
One of the forms I designed was for customers wanting to take advantage of the "portability" of our mortgages (long before anyone else did, by the way) so that they could retain their nice fixed rate, or whatever it was.
In designing the form, lots of questions needed to be asked. I did all that, but asked no superfluous ones. Being a tad micsheviuos though, in the draft copy sent around the Board for approval, I snuck one in - "will we get the rights to the virginity of any fit female offspring you have?". This went through the Board and they approved it. Just shows how little checking is done about relevance by those who deem themselves our bosses.
PS. Back to Camel Shit. It wouldn't steam basically anywhere. "The Ship of the Dessert" needs all the water it takes in, thus any faecal matter comes out of its sand starfish basically bone dry. Thus very little moisture to form steam. In my opinion...
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lol:
The camel is noble beast
he is large and very hairy
and when he only has one hump
he's called a dromedary
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The Beagle is a soppy hound
With ears that hang asunder
And when he's fed too much red meat
He farts like bleedin thunder.
(Copywright TMR, September 2008)
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The Beagle is an oddly chap
Whose knackers touch the ground
His ears hang low
It's no wonder so
He howls the stangest sound.
(Copywright TMR, Egypt Sept 2008)
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The Beagle is a nervous hound
Especially in Korea
They pat his head, he wags his tail
And then they eat his ear
(The third in an ocassional Beagle related odes by TMR, 2008)
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happ096
Do you have a literary agent?
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Can get hold of Agent Orange if needs be. Does that count?
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evil: