The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 09:56:44 AM

Title: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 09:56:44 AM

Quote

Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got
increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night after
the festivities were finally over, she & Charles had retired back to
their room.
Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling.
Ones feet are killing One.'
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour.
. . . But it would not budge.
'Harder' yelled Camilla, 'Harder'
Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody
tight!'
 'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried.
Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla
exclaimed 'There! Oh God, that feels so good.'
 In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said
'See I told you she was still a virgin with a face like that!'
Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove
the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this ones even
tighter'
At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen 'That's my
boy, Once a Navy man, always a navy man!'

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Barman on September 17, 2008, 10:02:30 AM

Blimey, how many times has that rattled around the Interweb before finding you???  point:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 10:05:12 AM

Things tend to take a while to get through the Tamar time warp on the way into Cornwall. They had Jaws on at the cinema here the other week and 2 people were looking at the poster asking what the film was aobut.  whistle:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Nick on September 17, 2008, 10:11:50 AM

Some Devonians on a train to Paddington were looking at jets coming in to land at Heathrow. One said to the other "Look how BIG that plane is"  eeek:


One assumes they had only ever seen them at 35000 feet

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 10:23:35 AM

I'm pretty sure there are still cargo cults down here nick.  eeek:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Nick on September 17, 2008, 10:25:14 AM

Devon's contribution to the world: CLotted Cream

They make the Swiss look creative  noooo:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 11:24:47 AM

Clotted cream  sick2:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Nick on September 17, 2008, 12:09:08 PM

Quite. We used (when I was a kid) to get that in the post. Who sends cream by post?

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 17, 2008, 01:01:45 PM

Quote from: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 10:23:35 AM

I'm pretty sure there are still cargo cults down here nick.  eeek:

Did you mean 'cargo culottes'?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbm-apparel--.tradenote.net%2Fimages%2Fusers%2F000%2F044%2F772%2Fproducts_images%2FAuthentic_Boys_Cargo_Pants.jpg&hash=7a1358071960e5e00b452f86edd59816efbe1a57)

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Nick on September 17, 2008, 01:03:05 PM

Camouflage trouers   noooo:

Useless

YOu can see 'em a mile off  noooo:

I tolod that to the local lesbian the other day. Not good.

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 17, 2008, 01:12:06 PM

Quote from: Nick on September 17, 2008, 01:03:05 PM

Camouflage trouers   noooo:
 
Useless
 
YOu can see 'em a mile off  noooo:

I tolod that to the local lesbian the other day. Not good.

Fingers swollen up again today?

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Nick on September 17, 2008, 01:15:41 PM

 evil:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Barman on September 17, 2008, 01:17:35 PM

Quote from: Darwins Selection on September 17, 2008, 01:12:06 PM

Quote from: Nick on September 17, 2008, 01:03:05 PM

Camouflage trouers   noooo:
 
Useless
 
YOu can see 'em a mile off  noooo:

I tolod that to the local lesbian the other day. Not good.

Fingers swollen up again today?

He was wearing gloves apparently...  whistle:

Title: Re: Jug ears and horse face
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2008, 01:43:54 PM

Its the boy protesting against the lack of a television in the house. He keeps swapping the keys around and otherwise boobytrapping Nick's keyboard.  whistle: