The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 05:13:09 PM

Title: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 05:13:09 PM
Hi there dear patrons  razz:

Sorry I've not been on the forum for ages but I've been mega bust (not like some I could mention) doing business stuff to keep the wolf from the door but I thought I'd better let you know that we’ve had a bit of an episode here today with Mark managing (silly bugger) to fall off a customers roof :-(

He arrived home limping like the walking wounded so took him off to the Evangelismous A&E to get it checked out (missing my Friday belly dancing lesson I hasten to add :-(

LUCKILY the major injury to his left foot was confirmed not to be broken but just badly sprained and significantly bruised !!!!

He is now strapped up (well the left foot is anyway) and is under instructions not to weight bear on it for the next 48 hours - luckily I sill have the set of crutches on hand which I needed last year when I fractured my heel and ankle doing other silly stuff......So he is now propped up on the sofa, pillow under injured foot and can of spitfire in hand :-) I think he will be fine but whether or not I will survive the next 48+ hours remains to be seen (ha ha!)

I have told him that he can access his mates down tut pub via my PC upstairs - no trying to get down the spiral staircase to his subteraean world this weekend I think - so I'm sure he'll let you know how well (or not) his nursing care is progressing  whistle:

Thought you'd all like to know and have a laugh at his expene  lol:

Nursey nursey  eeek: signing out for now xxxxx


Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:14:44 PM
Are you going to waer a nurse's uniform to speed my,er, his recovery?

Donna says that a good rub is best in these cases.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: TG on August 22, 2008, 05:15:46 PM
Mega bust?  eyes:

Gutter alert!
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 05:18:24 PM
Are you going to waer a nurse's uniform to speed my,er, his recovery?

Donna says that a good rub is best in these cases.

Obviously the header should have read BARMAN does not bounce  Banghead MTypo's must be due to the additional stress I am now under  rubschin:

Of course I will be wearing suitable nursing items - such as mask and pink marigolds  shocked003

He has asked for a bell but my response to that was along the lines of  Angry9: Angry9: cussing: cussing: Angry9: Angry9:

Anyone (please) want to pop over and assist   noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Barman does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:18:53 PM
No black stockings then?
Title: Re: Barman does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 05:20:52 PM
No black stockings then?

He can't get them on over his bandages  happy001 :lalalala happy001 :lalalala happy001
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:21:31 PM
 sad24:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2008, 05:29:16 PM
Sorry to hear all this. Couldn't happen in the UK 'cos we have elf n safety measures as well as Lawyers R Us.  whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:33:21 PM
He could always sue himself happy088
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2008, 05:34:42 PM
No but he should be insured against his own stupidity carelessness working mishaps.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:36:51 PM
I imagine LL has much insurance  whistle:

I don't give much for his chances with her "nursing " him  noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: TG on August 22, 2008, 05:50:29 PM
Sorry to hear all this. Couldn't happen in the UK 'cos we have elf n safety measures as well as Lawyers R Us.  whistle:

Lawerrs R us may not have much of a case if the subject fell of a roof cos he was leaning too far over whilst looking down wimmins tops.  noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 05:51:12 PM
With the aid of a fisheye lens
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 06:37:05 PM
I imagine LL has much insurance  whistle:

I don't give much for his chances with her "nursing " him  noooo:

Cheeky  angry041:
I'll have you know I have pandered to his whims - served himm his favourite (fast) supper - beer and pain killers too!
What more could a man ask for  Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 22, 2008, 06:40:02 PM
 rubschin: I have a few ideas on that score but it depends how bad his back is  eyes:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: TG on August 22, 2008, 07:03:41 PM
rubschin: I have a few ideas on that score but it depends how bad his back is  eyes:

If nurses uniforms are on offer I would be first in th queue but I suspect in this case i would injure myself by tripping over the slobbering pub dog.  noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 22, 2008, 07:06:15 PM
I imagine LL has much insurance  whistle:

I don't give much for his chances with her "nursing " him  noooo:

Cheeky  angry041:
I'll have you know I have pandered to his whims - served himm his favourite (fast) supper - beer and pain killers too!
What more could a man ask for  Banghead Banghead

Stuffed goat, perchance?
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 08:05:51 PM
I imagine LL has much insurance  whistle:

I don't give much for his chances with her "nursing " him  noooo:

Cheeky  angry041:
I'll have you know I have pandered to his whims - served him his favourite (fast) supper - beer and pain killers too!
What more could a man ask for  Banghead Banghead

Stuffed goat, perchance?

Mr. Nick  eeek: your mind works on a different plain to the rest of us thats for sure  rubschin:
Title: Re: Barman does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 22, 2008, 08:11:39 PM
BM now safely tucked up in bed - snoring softly and dreaming of not waking up tomorrow morning aching from head to foot (not just the left one) when he realises just how many other muscles and bits and pieces were bumped and bruised on his way down from the roof  whistle:

This is the 2nd event of this kind and I think it probably argues (nay shouts loudly) that BM is now FAR TOO OLD  to be shinning up ladders onto roofs, don't you all agree ??????????

Guess I'll just have to start looking around for a young fit and able bodied young man to help with the bar chores from now on  rubschin:

All interested please send full CV's / mug shots and £20 application administration fee to LHOTP  ;)

More update tomorrow - nighty nighty
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Mrs TG on August 22, 2008, 09:37:34 PM
rubschin: I have a few ideas on that score but it depends how bad his back is  eyes:

If nurses uniforms are on offer I would be first in th queue but I suspect in this case i would injure myself by tripping over the slobbering pub dog.  noooo:

why would you like nurses uniforms? mmmm first i have heard!  point:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 23, 2008, 06:12:12 AM
BM medical status update Sat 23.08.08 - 09:00 CY local time 


Patient had a restful nights sleep and has woken this morning in much better spirits  smile:
Breakfast served in bed (in cup and bowl not just directly onto the sheets  ::) )
Medication will be administered shortly (orally not other end  ::) )
Care plan for today is morning bed rest (yes rest nothing more) followed by shower and then relax on the rear patio  ;)
Nursing staff are currently assuming he will hobble into the pub sometime late afternoon  rubschin:

Love to all for now
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 06:53:14 AM
Give him a kisss from me
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 09:34:14 AM
Give him a kisss from me
Yuk! You pervert Nick!  sick2:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 09:43:22 AM
Damn you, Baldymort!  cussing:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 09:45:48 AM
Damn you, Baldymort!  cussing:
whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 10:02:59 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 10:04:53 AM
He could take a trampoline with him, like
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 10:05:09 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 10:06:43 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:

Why? So you could pole vault onto the roofs?  noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 10:07:32 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:

Why? So you could pole vault onto the roofs?  noooo:
eyes:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 10:08:42 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:

Why? So you could pole vault onto the roofs?  noooo:
eyes:

Not in THAT MUCH pain then  ::)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 10:11:29 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:

Why? So you could pole vault onto the roofs?  noooo:
eyes:

Not in THAT MUCH pain then  ::)
Much better now... don't tell LL tho...  noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 10:13:09 AM
Glad to hear the man is on the mend and, joking aside, I agree that perhaps he should reconsider the roof climbing side of things. None of us wants to admit that we can no longer behave like an 18 year old but sadly we must. Perhaps he could do the technical stuff and employ a youth to climb on the roofs. Apprentice sort of thing (which would get a youth for small money). Might mean a small increase would be needed in fees to clients but worth it I would think.
A young, female assistant perhaps...?  rubschin:  eyes:

Why? So you could pole vault onto the roofs?  noooo:
eyes:

Not in THAT MUCH pain then  ::)
Much better now... don't tell LL tho...  noooo:

Best not ~ you could end up with bruises on your bruises.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 10:15:43 AM
You must lie down and rest a lot.No werk.Beer is very good for your condition. eatdrink013
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 23, 2008, 10:52:23 AM
Care plan for today is morning bed rest followed by shower and then relax on the rear patio  ;)

Back to normal so soon, he does mend quickly.

I expect he will be making a claim on the supplier of his safety harness?

Silly sod anyway.
As Snoopy says, we can't climb about like when we were in our teens.
Clearing the gutters here this morning took me twice as long as it would have 50 years ago.  ;)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 11:27:01 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2Fgx8prh0.jpg&hash=adadf1a4c4a2ba872daf0ff82feb2121e5153207) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=gx8prh0)

LL prepares for every eventuality
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 02:35:36 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV890qA.jpg&hash=1b4bcc000dc4d71d99ba24d1c3e90f41aec614c0) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV890qA)

 point:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 02:50:56 PM
Well ~ that about wraps up all there is to be said about in this thread.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 02:58:24 PM
I imagine Berek can soon rectify that  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 04:22:46 PM
Beer has helped...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 04:24:05 PM
Beer helps most things.  whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 05:02:38 PM
Beer helps most things.  whistle:
eyes:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 05:03:31 PM
Beer helps most things.  whistle:
eyes:

With the possible exception of "Brewer's Droop"   point:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 05:03:59 PM
Beer helps most things.  whistle:
eyes:

With the possible exception of "Brewer's Droop"   point:
scared2:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Landlady on August 23, 2008, 05:04:20 PM
Beer has helped...  cloud9:
Beer , bubbly and now shepherds pie - preceded by a visit from his new FEMALE fan club member - oh but he is a spoilt Bladderwort  eeek:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 05:08:41 PM
Beer has helped...  cloud9:
Beer , bubbly and now shepherds pie - preceded by a visit from his new FEMALE fan club member - oh but he is a spoilt Bladderwort  eeek:

You are too good to for him
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 23, 2008, 05:09:47 PM
 cloud9:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Tinkerbell on August 23, 2008, 05:27:42 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV8Xie0.jpg&hash=53c20e6d5f93ee8b10bb7bcab4b308d0d06b5e3f) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV8Xie0)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 05:31:11 PM
A little too close to the truth methinks  whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 23, 2008, 05:32:46 PM
http://www.break.com/index/old-dude-falls-off-roof.html




Can't make this video "play" so you'll have to click and see
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Tinkerbell on August 23, 2008, 05:36:31 PM
 happy001
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Nick on August 23, 2008, 08:07:37 PM
Poor BM

Too many women noooo:

Far too many pants noooo:

Or praps not

Personally I find ladies pants frightening nowadays.Too big.They used to be small and black. NOw they are like parachutes
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Just One More on August 23, 2008, 08:27:35 PM
How big is this female fan club?

Is there a male version of the fan club? How many are in it?

(get well soon BM)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 23, 2008, 09:38:55 PM
Is there a male version of the fan club? How many are in it?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdudeshutup.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F05%2Fvillage-people.jpg&hash=fe04e4986545a1e9362ac174227f6c5edf8d27c6)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2008, 06:23:57 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Tinkerbell on August 24, 2008, 07:10:36 AM
All on my own in the pub...yeh!!!!!!  Check the petty cash.... draw lines on the bottles......


anyway.... just wondering how the poorly BM is this morning.... clearly been up and about in the pub earlier, so still mobile I guess!!!!

 scared:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 24, 2008, 08:02:05 AM
Poor BM

Too many women noooo:

Far too many pants noooo:

Or praps not

Personally I find ladies pants frightening nowadays.Too big.They used to be small and black. NOw they are like parachutes

The size of the ladies pants increases with your own age Nick. There is a direct relationship between the size of their knickers and the type of woman you are now able to pull. whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2008, 08:20:19 AM
All on my own in the pub...yeh!!!!!!  Check the petty cash.... draw lines on the bottles......


anyway.... just wondering how the poorly BM is this morning.... clearly been up and about in the pub earlier, so still mobile I guess!!!!

 scared:
I am much better thanks... bruised and a bit stiff (snigger) but otherwise okay...  cloud9:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 26, 2008, 01:40:01 AM
All on my own in the pub...yeh!!!!!!  Check the petty cash.... draw lines on the bottles......


anyway.... just wondering how the poorly BM is this morning.... clearly been up and about in the pub earlier, so still mobile I guess!!!!

 scared:
I am much better thanks... bruised and a bit stiff (snigger) but otherwise okay...  cloud9:

I guess you didnt land on anything important then BM...
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2008, 04:50:39 AM
All on my own in the pub...yeh!!!!!!  Check the petty cash.... draw lines on the bottles......


anyway.... just wondering how the poorly BM is this morning.... clearly been up and about in the pub earlier, so still mobile I guess!!!!

 scared:
I am much better thanks... bruised and a bit stiff (snigger) but otherwise okay...  cloud9:

I guess you didnt land on anything important then BM...
noooo:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 26, 2008, 08:13:38 AM
All on my own in the pub...yeh!!!!!!  Check the petty cash.... draw lines on the bottles......


anyway.... just wondering how the poorly BM is this morning.... clearly been up and about in the pub earlier, so still mobile I guess!!!!

 scared:
I am much better thanks... bruised and a bit stiff (snigger) but otherwise okay...  cloud9:

I guess you didnt land on anything important then BM...
noooo:

Head first I had assumed.  whistle:
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2008, 08:30:49 AM
 ::)
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 26, 2008, 09:02:59 AM
Still got a limp this morning?
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Snoopy on August 26, 2008, 09:04:53 AM
 rubschin:  Oddly I seldom have that problem in the mornings.
Title: Re: Bar does not bounce !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: Barman on August 26, 2008, 09:08:26 AM
Still got a limp this morning?
Yes...  sad24: