The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Grumpmeister on August 12, 2008, 04:55:10 PM
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Knowing how things tend to turn out for Captain Calamity I thought I'd save him the bother of starting loads of threads for the many things that will cock up and just have one general topic for them. point:
BM can you make this one a sticky? eyes:
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He is visiting his sister and then spending a weekend at Centre Parcs, with a planned visit to see the Lions at Longleat.
What could possibly go wro................. oh!
Well we'll know on Wednesday I 'spect.
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http://wuff.me.uk/monologues/P10.html
(http://wuff.me.uk/monologues/P10.html)
The Boy=Albert?
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lol: drumroll:
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What could possibly go wro................. oh!
Place your bets, what can go wrong.
Personally I'm expecting a jellyfish incident:
Record numbers of potentially dangerous Portuguese man-of-war jellyfish have been found on the South West coast for the second year in a row.
At least 14 creatures have so far been washed up in Dorset, Devon, Cornwall and the Isle of Wight.
The Marine Conservation Society (MCS) said "unusually large" numbers of man-of-wars had been found, which it put down to the recent strong winds.
People are being urged not to touch the jellyfish which can give a nasty sting.
The man-of-wars (physalia physalis), which are also known as bluebottles, usually live in tropical waters far out in the open sea.
But strong winds have been blowing them in to the shores of the South West and experts said more were expected.
Three have been found in Kimmeridge Bay, Burton Bradstock and Durdle Door in Dorset, one near Holcombe, in Devon, and one on the Isle of Wight in the past week.
Peter Richardson, from the MCS, said since mid-July, the charity had received at least another 10 reported sightings.
He said: "There will be more than that out there. That's just the ones that are being reported to us."
Mr Richardson said that between 2003 and 2006 only five Portuguese man-of-wars were found on UK shores, mainly in the South West.
But last summer that rose to 10.
"Last year we started getting more reports, so two years in a row now we've had unusually large numbers of man-of-wars reported," Mr Richardson said.
"We are expecting more to wash up. As long as the wind prevails, they will keep coming."
Anaphylactic shock
The MCS has not had any reports of anybody being stung in the UK but Mr Richardson urged beach-goers to be careful as they had a painful sting.
This man-of-war was found by Chris Lavis at Smuggler's Cove in Devon
"The jellyfish look very pretty and the danger is if a child picks one up to show his mum he could have a nasty sting.
"There are records of some fatalities. You're not guaranteed to die but some people go into anaphylactic shock.
"Some people have been finding them and reporting it to lifeguards, who have picked them up and taken them away."
A man-of-war is made up of a colony of creatures to form one jellyfish.
The long tentacles can grow up to 165ft (50m) and hang from a balloon-like float resting on the surface.
Man-of-war colonies are usually found in the Florida Keys and off the Atlantic coast, the Gulf Stream, the Gulf of Mexico, the Indian Ocean and the Caribbean.
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evil:
My back is completely better, despite being run over by some cretin on a mobility scooter in Winchester this morning evil: Said cretin then careered inot an accordion playing busker (noisily) but I think that was an aesthetic judgement eveilgrin:
Mrs Nick on the other hand has a bad back following our drive down and is demanding an appointment with Donna! scared2:
Over and out
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Have a holiday ~ logging on here on day one is just sad. point:
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evil:
My back is completely better, despite being run over by some cretin on a mobility scooter in Winchester this morning evil: Said cretin then careered inot an accordion playing busker (noisily) but I think that was an aesthetic judgement eveilgrin:
Mrs Nick on the other hand has a bad back following our drive down and is demanding an appointment with Donna! scared2:
Over and out
No laughing at the back
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV297LZA.jpg&hash=733116c43e174d29fa43aa6eb4a2e878cca1aca3) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV297LZA)
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Thought of Snoopy yesterday. My big sis has told us that she alone will lok after the Boy for 2 days to give us some time off. We have not had a boy free day in 5 years eeek:
We ended up having lunch in Stockbridge, which I am sure Snoops knows well.
We are so unaccustomed to time out that we have no idea what to do today. rubschin:
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Thought of Snoopy yesterday. My big sis has told us that she alone will lok after the Boy for 2 days to give us some time off. We have not had a boy free day in 5 years eeek:
We ended up having lunch in Stockbridge, which I am sure Snoops knows well.
We are so unaccustomed to time out that we have no idea what to do today. rubschin:
eyes:
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Whatever you chose to do, enjoy (barman ::))
I know your lad is a little more trouble than most children but most parents have little time to themselves until the teenage years.
Now log off and have a holiday.
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Whatever you chose to do, enjoy (barman ::))
I know your lad is a little more trouble than most children but most parents have little time to themselves until the teenage years.
Now log off and have a holiday.
redface:
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evil:
My back is completely better, despite being run over by some cretin on a mobility scooter in Winchester this morning evil: Said cretin then careered inot an accordion playing busker (noisily) but I think that was an aesthetic judgement eveilgrin:
Ah but just think, in a couple of years it will be you on one of those scooters scared2:
Mrs Nick on the other hand has a bad back following our drive down and is demanding an appointment with Donna! scared2:
Over and out
Alas poor ChoNick, we knew him well. point:
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Great day out in teh New Forest (sans Boy)
Mrs Nick was chased by a pony and fell in a ditch. ;D spider:
We went into a posh clothes shop in Beaulieu and I knocked over a dummy with some posh clothes on which started a sort of domino effect of tumbling posh dummies around the shop redface:
We had a big argument with someone in Buckler's Hard about a piece of goats cheese.
A cow poked its head through our car window (Mrs Nick's side) and tried to eat her blouse. eveilgrin:
And the local newsagent here insisted on talking to me in German. So I replied in Spanish. He seems a little odd.
Avebury and Longleat tomorrow and no computers till Tuesday, so TTFN
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And the local newsagent here insisted on talking to me in German. So I replied in Spanish. He seems a little odd.
I'm sure he was thinking something similar about you Nick... whistle:
Avebury and Longleat tomorrow and no computers till Tuesday, so TTFN
Captain Calamity meats the lions of Longleat? scared2:
Alas poor ChoNick, we knew him well. point:
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Great day out in teh New Forest (sans Boy)
Mrs Nick was chased by a pony and fell in a ditch. ;D spider:
We went into a posh clothes shop in Beaulieu and I knocked over a dummy with some posh clothes on which started a sort of domino effect of tumbling posh dummies around the shop redface:
We had a big argument with someone in Buckler's Hard about a piece of goats cheese.
A cow poked its head through our car window (Mrs Nick's side) and tried to eat her blouse. eveilgrin:
And the local newsagent here insisted on talking to me in German. So I replied in Spanish. He seems a little odd.
Avebury and Longleat tomorrow and no computers till Tuesday, so TTFN
Same ol', same ol' then... whistle:
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Unable to sleep I was in Tesco at 5.30 this morning evil:
Everyone else here still snoring evil:
Avebury soon
Mrs Nick has an appointment with Donna on Tuesday scared2:
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Unable to sleep I was in Tesco at 5.30 this morning evil:
Everyone else here still snoring evil:
Avebury soon
Mrs Nick has an appointment with Donna on Tuesday scared2:
Poor Mrs. Nick/Donna/Nick*
* Delete as applicable
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Great day out in teh New Forest (sans Boy)
Mrs Nick was chased by a pony and fell in a ditch. ;D spider:
We went into a posh clothes shop in Beaulieu and I knocked over a dummy with some posh clothes on which started a sort of domino effect of tumbling posh dummies around the shop redface:
We had a big argument with someone in Buckler's Hard about a piece of goats cheese.
A cow poked its head through our car window (Mrs Nick's side) and tried to eat her blouse. eveilgrin:
And the local newsagent here insisted on talking to me in German. So I replied in Spanish. He seems a little odd.
Avebury and Longleat tomorrow and no computers till Tuesday, so TTFN
Same ol', same ol' then... whistle:
::) The whole of the New Forest is plastered with signs saying "Keep away from the Ponies" and "Leave the Wild Animals Alone" etc. Which part did Mrs Nick not understand ~ or does she assume she is in some way absolved from the responsibilty placed on all visitors to respect the rules?
Banghead Fvcking Grockles get on my tits!
Sorry that's the local in me coming out but I lived there for years and have never seen a pony chase anyone who wasn't bothering it in some way ~ usually be walking up to it or its foal cooing "Look at the pretty horsey". Such people lead to more ponies being killed on the roads every year and yet they still do it.
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It was a foal noooo:
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It was a foal noooo:
How is the kettle...? whistle:
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It was a foal noooo:
How is the kettle...? whistle:
How are the kettle...? ::)
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It was a foal noooo:
I must have a crystal ball ::)
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It was a foal noooo:
I must have a crystal ball ::)
Is the other one wooden?
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noooo: Not the last time I licked it, no.
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noooo: Not the last time I licked it, no.
happy001
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The kettle had to be replaced redface:
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The kettle had to be replaced redface:
And...? What else did you break?
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The kettle had to be replaced redface:
Bullocks?
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The Center (sic) Parcs (sic) shed took a bit of a beating. Villa my arse!
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You were perhaps expecting
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.beautifulmalta.com%2Ffiles%2Fimages%2Froman-villa-and-museum.jpg&hash=4de2bcc6e0acff4110056939dad6f89d32ce60e5)
And got
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F125%2F408662941_1f102e045e.jpg%3Fv%3D0&hash=f8b64f9d02f1c5ecc229191cc9fb8520d8347ac6)
Still you had one another and Birmingham to look forward to eveilgrin:
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It was far more like the hut! evil:
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It was far more like the hut! evil:
point:
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As a glance at their website would have disclosed.
We always used to go to Holland where a company called "Gran Dorado" ran similar parks. If I remember rightly we went five years running to two different parks. Very comfortable accommodation, nice sites, all you could want and did all it said on the tin. They were taken over by Centre Parcs and virtually doubled their prices in a year, claiming that this was necessary to "raise them to the Centre Parcs Standard". We have not been back
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He could've come to Cyprus... whistle:
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Everything was extra! The Boy spotted a trampoline one day. £2 for 5 minutes eeek:
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See OH's rant kindly referred by TMR.
When the Dutch sites were run by Gran Dorado all the same facilities were there and ALL were included in the price. The only things you paid for above the quoted price was food, if you ate in their restaurants and cycle hire at 5 guilder a day (About a £1) if you wanted to use their bikes.
Fishing in the lakes, Use of Swimming pools, Gymnasia, play areas, sports facilities (Basketball, archery, football etc) all free of charge.
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The wildlife was quite tame. I was begged at one morning by a duck, a squirrel and a rabbit in rapid succession.
I drew the line when a rat turned up evil:
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Always find rats where people feed the wildlife. whistle:
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Quite.
My 17 year old nephew was in full Neanderthal mode all weekend.He slept till 12. Got up. Grunted, Ate something and went back to bed till 7.
He then got up, grunted, ate something and went back to bed.
How can anyone sleep that much?
His 15 year old brother was so vile that his parents came without him! eeek:
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That's teenagers for you. tunble:
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Quite.
My 17 year old nephew was in full Neanderthal mode all weekend.He slept till 12. Got up. Grunted, Ate something and went back to bed till 7.
He then got up, grunted, ate something and went back to bed.
How can anyone sleep that much?
His 15 year old brother was so vile that his parents came without him! eeek:
Perhaps they were scared of you...? whistle:
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Hey - he made the effort - he got up to say hello lol:
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Hey - he made the effort - he got up to say hello lol:
Get up, see Nick feeding wildlife... go back to bed and hide under covers... I can relate to that... whistle:
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Good Point ~ Well made
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evil:
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evil:
point:
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The Boy tricked Mrs Nick into going down The Rapids.
She is now black and blue point:
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The Boy tricked Mrs Nick into going down The Rapids.
She is now black and blue point:
The blue will fade, but she will never again understand petrol stations or talk quietly into a mobile.
Tragic. noooo:
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Or even use a mobile while filling a car petrol tank! eeek:
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Mrs Nick has gone off to see Donna scared2:
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And you will pay the price for mixing reality with fantasy. point:
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And The Boy has taken to playing air guitar to a CD of Canned Heat that my sister gave him.
Let's Work Together over and over at max volume noooo:
I fear Mrs Nick may not find Donna as delightful as I do.She has the wrong hormones.
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And The Boy has taken to playing air guitar to a CD of Canned Heat that my sister gave him.
Let's Work Together over and over at max volume noooo:
I fear Mrs Nick may not find Donna as delightful as I do.She has the wrong hormones.
She doesn't need to find her delightful ~ she needs to find her unattractive but efficient. Anything else in either department and you are in deep sh*t.
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scared2:
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scared2:
noooo:
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7567239.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7567239.stm)
rubschin:
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7567239.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7567239.stm)
rubschin:
We did that... while you were away like... whistle:
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Here...
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=4459.0
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HOw was I to know? shrugs:
Yikes. Here's Mrs Nick back from Donna fdahnb z
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HOw was I to know? shrugs:
Yikes. Here's Mrs Nick back from Donna fdahnb z
By reading all the posts made in your absence ~ you'll have plenty of time to do that from your hospital bed ~ once the swellings have gone down a bit whistle:
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Mixed news.
Donna "manupulated" Mrs Nick and made her back crack. Mrs Nick claims it feels better, but has gone for a lie down anyway.
She also remarked "I can see why you like going there so much - and so often" redface:
I have an appointment tomorrow, just to be sure, like
cloud9:
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point: Situation normal but I feel the depth may have varied ~ deepened in fact. whistle:
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Here's Mrs Nick back from Donna fdahnb z
Donna dspgbv l ???
rubschin:
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Here's Mrs Nick back from Donna fdahnb z
Donna dspgbv l ???
rubschin:
shrugs:
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Me neither.
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I was in a panic and knocked the keyboard redface:
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As one does whistle:
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What was that noise... oh it was just Nick squeaking... point: