The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: ice and a slice on July 31, 2008, 05:58:43 AM
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Paddy and Mick walking down a street in London . Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said, 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair'. Paddy says to his pal, 'When we get back to Ireland , we could make a feckin' fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent.' 'Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will.' says Mick. They go in and Paddy says, 'I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirt sat £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and .....' The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from Ireland , aren't you?' 'Well.... Yes,' says a surprised Paddy . 'How der hell d' y' know dat?' The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners.'
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drumroll:
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This morning the Irish SAS stormed Debenhams in Dublin. They'd heard that Bed Linen was on the third floor
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This morning the Irish SAS stormed Debenhams in Dublin. They'd heard that Bed Linen was on the third floor
drumroll:
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This morning the Irish SAS stormed Debenhams in Dublin. They'd heard that Bed Linen was on the third floor
lol: lol: lol:
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A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
'Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients'.
'Yes, sir!' answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: 'So,Murphy, how was your day?'
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.'
'Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir' says Murphy.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman borsts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!''
'Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes.'
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lol: lol: