The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Snoopy on July 01, 2008, 02:57:51 PM

Title: Another One For DS
Post by: Snoopy on July 01, 2008, 02:57:51 PM

A man owned a small farm.

The Department of Employment claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent one of their officials to interview him.

"I need details of all the farm's employees and how much you pay them" demanded the official.

"Well" replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the cook, she has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board."

 "Anyone else?" snapped the civil servant

"There is the half-wit." Said the farmer "He works about 18 hours a day 7 days a week and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

" Ah-ha!" crows the official, "That's the man I want to talk to...the half-wit."

"That would be me." replied the farmer.

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Pastis on July 01, 2008, 03:32:27 PM

 ;D

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 01, 2008, 09:07:15 PM

Is this a documentary?

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Bar Wench on July 02, 2008, 08:08:02 AM

Yes dear.

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 03, 2008, 12:53:16 PM

 redface:

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Just One More on July 09, 2008, 11:58:04 AM

A farm hand radios back to the farm manager. 'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the 4wd.
The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of the car and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'
The manager says,'Ok, there's a ..303 rifle behind the seat.
Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'
Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on'.
'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.
'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck  under the right-front wheel arch.'

'...............You there Boss?




 

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Barman on July 09, 2008, 12:15:53 PM

 lol: lol: lol:

Title: Re: Another One For DS
Post by: Snoopy on July 09, 2008, 01:02:23 PM

 lol: lol: lol: