The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Snoopy on June 23, 2008, 05:59:56 PM

Title: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 23, 2008, 05:59:56 PM
A doctor was addressing a large audience.


"Red meat is bad for you," he told the audience.


"Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.


"Chinese food is loaded with MSG.


"High fat diets are disastrous.


"No one knows the long-term effect of germs in our drinking water," said the doctor.


"But one food is the most dangerous of all and I bet every one of you has eaten it at least once. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief for years after you eat it?"


An old man in the front row raised his hand and softly asked, "Is it wedding cake?"


Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2008, 05:18:32 AM
 lol:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 04:18:08 PM
Wedding Cake . . .  there's another oxymoron to add to the list!    whistle:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Nick on June 30, 2008, 04:48:56 PM
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:03:02 PM
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick. Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work. P'raps DS will have better luck.
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2008, 05:10:00 PM
Wedding Cake . . .  there's another oxymoron to add to the list!    whistle:
Emotiwhotsits don't work 'til you havew made ten posts...  whistle:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 05:14:32 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82355#msg82355 date=1214845800
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82336#msg82336 date=1214842688
Wedding Cake .  .  .   there's another oxymoron to add to the list!    whistle:
Emotiwhotsits don't work 'til you havew made ten posts. . .   whistle:

What about the Barman's spellchecker?  lol:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:15:24 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82355#msg82355 date=1214845800
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82336#msg82336 date=1214842688
Wedding Cake .  .  .   there's another oxymoron to add to the list!    whistle:
Emotiwhotsits don't work 'til you havew made ten posts. . .   whistle:

What about the Barman's spellchecker?  lol:

<snigger>
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 05:20:48 PM
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060. msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.  Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.  P'raps DS will have better luck.

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" . . .  hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good).

Get it?
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2008, 05:24:03 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82355#msg82355 date=1214845800
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82336#msg82336 date=1214842688
Wedding Cake .  .  .   there's another oxymoron to add to the list!    whistle:
Emotiwhotsits don't work 'til you havew made ten posts. . .   whistle:

What about the Barman's spellchecker?  lol:
That never works...  noooo:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:26:27 PM
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060. msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.  Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.  P'raps DS will have better luck.

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" . . .  hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good).

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new .................  ;)
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 05:27:58 PM
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82363#msg82363 date=1214846787
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82360#msg82360 date=1214846448
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060.  msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060.  msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.   Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.   P'raps DS will have better luck. 

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" .  .  .   hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good). 

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   ;)

Me new? . . . . . . .  Now that really is an oxymoron  lol:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2008, 05:28:08 PM
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060. msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.  Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.  P'raps DS will have better luck.

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" . . .  hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good).

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new .................  ;)
...and female...  eyes:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:30:04 PM
New to us anyway.  whistle:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 05:31:06 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82366#msg82366 date=1214846888
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82363#msg82363 date=1214846787
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82360#msg82360 date=1214846448
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060.  msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060.  msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.   Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.   P'raps DS will have better luck. 

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" .  .  .   hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good). 

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   ;)
. . . and female. . .   eyes:

Hey!  Have you been looking up my . . . . . . . . .  profile?
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2008, 05:31:41 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82366#msg82366 date=1214846888
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82363#msg82363 date=1214846787
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82360#msg82360 date=1214846448
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060.  msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060.  msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.   Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.   P'raps DS will have better luck. 

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" .  .  .   hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good). 

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   ;)
. . . and female. . .   eyes:

Hey!  Have you been looking up my . . . . . . . . .  profile?
Oh yes...  redface:
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:32:18 PM
Quote from: Barman link=topic=4060. msg82366#msg82366 date=1214846888
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060. msg82363#msg82363 date=1214846787
Quote from: oracle link=topic=4060. msg82360#msg82360 date=1214846448
Quote from: Snoopy link=topic=4060.  msg82353#msg82353 date=1214845382
Quote from: Nick link=topic=4060.  msg82347#msg82347 date=1214844536
Smote!

Is it an oxymoron?  rubschin:

Nah

I'm trying to work that one out too Nick.   Maybe something to do with having your wedding cake and eating it  eyes:
But I can't quite get the joke to work.   P'raps DS will have better luck. 

An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining two contradictory terms; like "Civil War", "Military Intelligence" .  .  .   hence Wedding (bad) Cake (good). 

Get it?

That is stretching it a bit but since you are new . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   ;)
. . . and female. . .   eyes:

Hey!  Have you been looking up my . . . . . . . . .  profile?

As if I would shocked003
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: oracle on June 30, 2008, 05:35:09 PM
Duty calls . . . . .

Bye for now folks!
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Snoopy on June 30, 2008, 05:36:03 PM
Tarra chuck!
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 01, 2008, 12:01:38 AM
?
Title: Re: Dietary Issues
Post by: Barman on July 01, 2008, 05:57:58 AM
?
Sorry DS – did we waiver slightly off-topic?  redface: