The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 05:07:42 AM

Title: Nit picking
Post by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 05:07:42 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?






Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2008, 05:35:57 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 05:55:05 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2008, 06:08:09 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 06:19:21 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2008, 06:25:53 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 10:02:08 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

Yes I'll give it a go - it cures the nervous tics as well. 8)
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Snoopy on June 23, 2008, 10:05:10 AM
We had a letter from the school a week or so ago ~ "To all parents, a child in the school is suffering from headlice, please check your child's hair regularly and take appropriate action."

We mentioned this to the boys on their ritual nightly head wash and inspection. "Oh yes" said the elder "It's XXX, he sits in front of me and XXXXX. We watch his hair moving all the time"  
First thought sick2:
Second thought "Poor little sod, what are his parents thinking of"

Next day discussion at the school gate. All mothers agreed that it is a crying shame and that something must be done. Head teacher is hiding in his office but spotted so the mums descend on him. "Look we all know which child it is .... speak to his mother"
Head wails "I can't so that" ~ he is clearly horrified at the thought of confrontation.
"OK" says group "We'll sort it"
Another meeting at school gate. A Father steps forward "I know her well ~ I'll have a word"
Two days later .... lice all gone.
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Bar Wench on June 23, 2008, 11:39:19 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Nick on June 23, 2008, 12:12:02 PM
Many years ago. Many many years ago ( noooo:) I got a dose of crabs! It was a fun night, but the legacy was not welcome. I put some of that head hair stuff on my pubes.

JESUS CHRIST!!

Imagine a blowtorch on your willy and you are halfway there.

It worked though (after 2 applications  angry041:)
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Barman on June 23, 2008, 12:13:26 PM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Ah... good reason to try it on the one she likes least then... or Mr. Ice n' a Slice  whistle:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: ice and a slice on June 23, 2008, 06:49:14 PM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Ah... good reason to try it on the one she likes least then... or Mr. Ice n' a Slice  whistle:

So on which part of him are you suggesting I try this? rubschin:

Wenchy, have you tried Frontline then eeek:?
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2008, 05:11:18 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Ah... good reason to try it on the one she likes least then... or Mr. Ice n' a Slice  whistle:

So on which part of him are you suggesting I try this? rubschin:

Wenchy, have you tried Frontline then eeek:?
the back of his neck... first...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Bar Wench on June 24, 2008, 08:31:19 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Ah... good reason to try it on the one she likes least then... or Mr. Ice n' a Slice  whistle:

So on which part of him are you suggesting I try this? rubschin:

Wenchy, have you tried Frontline then eeek:?

My Dad thought it would be funny.  sad24:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Snoopy on June 24, 2008, 09:08:46 AM
Just teated daughter number 2 for the umpteenth time, meanwhile neighbour's 7 year old ("oh he's never had them!!!") is scratching like a good 'un.  I hate them, little bu**ers! evil:

I think shaving the heads bald is the only way - I'll bet you don't get them do you BM?

Banghead

No I don't... but then I don't associate with children... apart from on here of course...  whistle:

You know what they say, it's never too late to have a second childhood!  Nits are obligatory! lol:

Yes I think a mass pub 'comb through' with the little white plastic comb that pulls half your hair out is in order!  I've done it to myself 4 times coz you swear you can feel them but nothing! Weird eeek:

I'll bet you're all feeling itchy now!
Can't you just put a drop of that Frontline stuff on the back of your neck... and the kids?

I think that's ok for Snoops but not the 'umans! 

It's a thought tho isn't it?  Frontline for kids would be great. 8)  Squirt on the back of the neck and away you go! ;D
Why wouldn't it work?  rubschin:

Why don't you risk it on one of the kids (the one you like least) and see what happens?  whistle:

It burns!!!! Like fires of the hottest hell!!! It burns!!!
Ah... good reason to try it on the one she likes least then... or Mr. Ice n' a Slice  whistle:

So on which part of him are you suggesting I try this? rubschin:

Wenchy, have you tried Frontline then eeek:?

My Dad thought it would be funny.  sad24:

I think your Dad was right  point:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Bar Wench on June 24, 2008, 11:29:47 AM
Replacing his sun cream with ordinary body lotion certainly was!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 24, 2008, 12:17:53 PM
Once when I woke up in the early hours I went to the fridge and made a sandwich.


It was horrible.

The ex-Mrs TMR (to be) joined me after a few minutes.

I said "where did you get this crab paste from?"

"The chemist"...
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Nick on June 24, 2008, 04:58:04 PM
Quote
The ex-Mrs TMR (to be)

Who?
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Snoopy on June 24, 2008, 05:03:35 PM
Quote
The ex-Mrs TMR (to be)

Who?

After some thought I assume this to be a lady who TMR is married to, is no longer living with and from whom divorce is anticipated. Either that or he has now split from the lovely with the motor cycle.
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Nick on June 24, 2008, 05:11:16 PM
Is he in the Archers?
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Snoopy on June 24, 2008, 05:36:12 PM
 shrugs: Dunno but he seems to like being enigmatic ~ or p*ssed.
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Nick on June 24, 2008, 08:33:49 PM
Replacing his sun cream with ordinary body lotion certainly was!  eveilgrin:

Evil
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 25, 2008, 08:17:06 AM
Quote
The ex-Mrs TMR (to be)

Who?

After some thought I assume this to be a lady who TMR is married to, is no longer living with and from whom divorce is anticipated. Either that or he has now split from the lovely with the motor cycle.

You think too deeply! She was a girlfriend some 12 years ago - at the time she had full intentions of becoming Mrs TMR.
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Nick on June 25, 2008, 08:26:22 AM
Ah, I see  rubschin:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Snoopy on June 25, 2008, 08:32:22 AM
Well I'm glad we cleared that up.  whistle: whistle:
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: The Moan Ranger on June 25, 2008, 08:55:07 AM
Well I'm glad we cleared that up.  whistle: whistle:

 ;D
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 25, 2008, 04:33:00 PM
Quote
The ex-Mrs TMR (to be)

Who?

After some thought I assume this to be a lady who TMR is married to, is no longer living with and from whom divorce is anticipated. Either that or he has now split from the lovely with the motor cycle.

You think too deeply! She was a girlfriend some 12 years ago - at the time she had full intentions of becoming Mrs TMR.
Obvious now you have explained it.  ::)
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Bar Wench on June 27, 2008, 08:54:36 AM
Replacing his sun cream with ordinary body lotion certainly was!  eveilgrin:

Evil

He started it by!
Title: Re: Nit picking
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 27, 2008, 11:36:08 AM
Replacing his sun cream with ordinary body lotion certainly was!  eveilgrin:

Evil

He started it by. . . .
. . . .putting Tabasco sauce in the contact lens cleaner.