The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 03:18:39 PM

Title: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 03:18:39 PM
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits

                  By Pam Ayres
 
 Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
 Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
 Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
 Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
 It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
 And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
 Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
 When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
 And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
 I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
 When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
 When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
 Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
 From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
 Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
 Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
 Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
 Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
 I wish I'd looked after me tits.
 
 When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
 When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
 When people see less of them rather than more,
 Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Nick on June 11, 2008, 04:06:10 PM
I am sure Wenchy's are, um pert.

ANd the others too. Gravity is not a problem in here
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 04:06:55 PM
Give it time  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Nick on June 11, 2008, 04:08:59 PM
Magnets.Do they werk?

Or weights?
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 04:42:26 PM
 noooo:

Boob job! ;D
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2008, 05:14:02 PM
noooo:

Blow job! ;D
eeek:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:15:03 PM
noooo:

Blow job! ;D
eeek:

I do hope not. whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 05:17:45 PM
noooo:

Blow job! ;D
eeek:

As if blowing on them would help! ::)
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:19:33 PM
I'm willing to try if you like.  whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2008, 05:20:18 PM
I'm willing to try if you like.  whistle:
Snoopy and I could take one each...  whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:24:24 PM
If they'll stretch that far. whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2008, 05:25:04 PM
If they'll stretch that far. whistle:
rubschin:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 05:28:43 PM
Boys boys!! ::)

I don't need any blowing thank you very much, specially from randy beagles!
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:31:21 PM
Fair 'nuff ........ would you like to rub my silky ears?
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2008, 05:37:20 PM
Fair 'nuff ........ would you like to rub my silky ears?

 eeek: Euphemism #367  eeek:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:38:24 PM
Fair 'nuff ........ would you like to rub my silky ears?

 eeek: Euphemism #367  eeek:

 whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Nick on June 11, 2008, 05:43:02 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 05:43:30 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:




Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:43:59 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:






I'm on my way!
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 05:47:57 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:


I'm on my way!


Does your leg twitch when the right spot is tickled??? 

Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 05:50:39 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:


I'm on my way!


Does your leg twitch when the right spot is tickled??? 



Oh YES!    And you should see what twitches when the left one is tickled.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pissedonpolitics.com%2Fsnoopy%2520happy%2520dance.jpg&hash=623295e6811c0055d4eccda04c95a1ddf9b6741b)
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2008, 05:54:03 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:


I'm on my way!


Does your leg twitch when the right spot is tickled??? 



Oh YES!    And you should see what twitches when the left one is tickled.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pissedonpolitics.com%2Fsnoopy%2520happy%2520dance.jpg&hash=623295e6811c0055d4eccda04c95a1ddf9b6741b)
drumroll:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: ice and a slice on June 11, 2008, 06:26:05 PM
No but I'll tickle your tummy!   eyes:


I'm on my way!


Does your leg twitch when the right spot is tickled??? 



Oh YES!    And you should see what twitches when the left one is tickled.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pissedonpolitics.com%2Fsnoopy%2520happy%2520dance.jpg&hash=623295e6811c0055d4eccda04c95a1ddf9b6741b)

 lol:

A dog of many talents! 



Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 06:31:02 PM
I don't like to boast but ..........

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.balloonmaniacs.com%2Fimages%2Fsnoopygraduateballoon.jpg&hash=b5c2dee139fe6902ba88e274bf781819a0baf14b)
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 11, 2008, 06:37:12 PM
Are you in season at the moment  lol:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 06:40:42 PM
Well there is a spring in my step.
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 11, 2008, 06:42:08 PM
or is it a limp ????

 eyes:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 06:42:47 PM
or is it a limp ????

 eyes:

Never limp (for long anyway)
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 11, 2008, 06:44:21 PM
Time is all relative anyway eh !!!   lol:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 11, 2008, 06:46:17 PM
Indeed and speaking of time I have to go collect kids from fencing class.
See you all tomorrow.










That's fencing as in swords ~ not garden
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 11, 2008, 06:47:25 PM
or is it a limp ????

 eyes:

Never limp (for long anyway)

That's the reason sales of viagra have gone through the roof lately  whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 11, 2008, 06:52:43 PM
Indeed and speaking of time I have to go collect kids from fencing class.
See you all tomorrow.


That's fencing as in swords ~ not garden

but not dismissing the selling of stolen goods though  rubschin:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 11, 2008, 06:53:39 PM
Do you know how much a decent rapier is these days Miss D?  whistle:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 11, 2008, 07:02:44 PM
Obviously swords are not my preferred weapon of choice....

but I'm sure I can source something pointed, sharp and deadly if you were interested  eeek:
Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Mrs TG on June 11, 2008, 07:06:02 PM
Indeed and speaking of time I have to go collect kids from fencing class.
See you all tomorrow.










That's fencing as in swords ~ not garden


god snoops after all the tales you been telling us about yr darlings you let em loose with swords.... scared2:

this topic has really gone off aint it...but that poem is so so true...i wish i was 18 again  whistle:

Title: Re: A lesson for all our ladies
Post by: Snoopy on June 12, 2008, 05:45:34 AM
Nothing like a bit of swash buckling to keep 'em out of the house! whistle: